This ain't Hell, but you can see it from here

Category: Dumbass Bullshit

  • Captain Dirk Watson; flag officer material

    Captain Dirk Watson; flag officer material

    Polk County, Florida sheriff’s deputies arrested 104 folks in a prostitution sting according to WTSP in their operation entitled “Operation March Sadness”. Among the crowd was an Air Force captain;

    A U.S. Air Force Captain stationed at Cape Canaveral was called a “slam dunk” by Judd after he was arrested following graphic online conversations with a detective who posed as a 14.year-old.

    According to Sheriff Judd, Captain Dirk Watson,32, had told his family that he would not travel for a family vacation to Disney World. Instead, he was chatting with the detective and agreed to meet the individual whom he thought was a minor.

    Judd said that Watson showed up to engage in sexual acts with the minor and was in possession of devices to use during intercourse.

    Watson faces four felony charges for use of a computer to seduce a child, use of two-way communication device to commit felony, traveling to meet a minor and lewd molestation. He could have additional charges following the investigation.

    So, you can thank Captain Watson for that extra long safety briefing this weekend and another added two hours of PowerPoint slides for your SHARP training this month.

    Here’s the demographics of Operation March Sadness;

    — 38 arrests were prostitutes.

    — 51 arrests were “johns,” or those who solicited to pay for prostitution.

    — 14 others were arrested for related charges, such as deriving proceeds from prostitution.

    — 1 was arrested for traveling to meet a minor.

    — 23 told detectives they were married.

    — Detectives seized 2 firearms, and drugs including marijuana, Oxycodone, heroin, and cocaine.

    — Many of the prostitutes traveled to Florida, and told detectives they travel across the country, having sex for money.

    — The suspects ranged in age from 20 – 63 years old.

    — In all, detectives filed 37 felony charges and 128 misdemeanor charges against the 104 suspects.

    — Among the 104 suspects, there were a total of 191 previous felonies and 288 previous misdemeanor charges in their criminal histories.

    I agree with the sheriff, by the way – Watson should have gone to Disney World with wife, kids and parents.o

  • Freedom From Religion Foundation attacks Florida city hall

    Freedom From Religion Foundation attacks Florida city hall

    The Wisconsin group, Freedom from Religion Foundation, has set it’s sights on Longwood, Florida’s city hall, according to Fox News. The city inherited a cross from the traveling wall that is a wooden cross with the phrase “We will never forget their sacrifices” – meaning the sacrifice of veterans.

    The Freedom From Religion Foundation, however, argues the Christian symbol should not be in a government building.

    The Wisconsin-based group, which says many veterans are members, says the tribute could just as easily be placed on a non-religious statue or picture.

    The FFRF boasts that it has such luminaries on it’s board as Ronald Reagan, the junior, and Mike Newdow – the fellow who sued to remove the “under God” phrase from the pledge of allegiance – both are deep intellectuals who are completely qualified to comment on public life and the relation of folks to their religions. Ronald Reagan, Jr. is quoted on their website; “Unabashed atheist, not afraid of burning in hell.” Good for him in his struggle to be the polar opposite of his father.

    Anyway, the mayor of Longwood isn’t backing down. From Fox35;

    “We absolutely believe the cross should stay in City Hall,” Durso says, “it was really a generous donation from a veteran who lives in the City of Longwood.”

    The Freedom From Religion Foundation wants it gone. The Wisconsin-based group sent a letter to Longwood, saying it’s a “government endorsement of Christianity,” and a “blatant violation” of the separation of church and state. Richardson says it’s an American ideal that all veterans fought for.

    “Not all veterans would agree with having it there,” Richardson says, “we have many veterans who are members of the Freedom From Religion Foundation.”

    The group wants the cross moved to private property. The mayor calls this a tempest in a teapot.

  • Yo Ho Ho and a Bottle of . . . Dumb

    I’ve been busy lately, so this article was a bit delayed.

    Seems as if a certain       dipstick jerk     “fine fellow” (or perhaps a group of Dandy Remarkable Guys) is at it again.  My friend Birdie tells me that I’ve been “found” – again.

    This time, I’m once again SF.  But this time, I’m apparently a member of the 20th Special Forces Group.  Or maybe I’m a former member of 20th SFGA; Dingus WetPeaBrain (and/or his cronies, if he had any) wasn’t exactly clear on that point this time around.

    (sigh)  And once again . . . Doofus Maximus ­­of the Skydiving Clown Kind and/or his cohorts, if any, are out to lunch.  As usual.  You’d think they’d learn a lesson after being wrong at least 15 times previously, but I guess not.

    The guy they’ve wrongly identified as me this time around doesn’t need the grief, so I’m not going to publish his name or photo here.  Suffice it to say that I’ve never been assigned to 20th SFGA – so this new guy being me is a “NO GO” from square one.

    But hey, at least they’ve been pretty consistently identifying me as an Army BAMF lately.  I’m no longer being misidentified as a Navy SEAL or Diver.  (smile)

    OK, recap time.  As I noted above, this is now at least the sixteenth damn time that Blunder ChickenChoker and/or his friends have erroneously identified someone else as being me.  The true total is probably higher; I’ve doubtless missed one or two of their bogus “identifications”.

    This time around, I’m allegedly a current or former SF SNCO.  The two times before this, supposedly I’ve been a current or former SF NCO and a serving Engineer 1SG (see here and here).

    Prior to that, I’ve been misidentified as both a retired SF Major and SGM; a serving Army officer; a retired law professor who served in the Army during the Eisenhower administration; a bona fide war hero with multiple high decorations for valor whose name I’m keeping private; 4 different Navy SEALs; a Navy diver; a deceased Army GO; a different longtime commenter at TAH; and a guy who occasionally writes a sports column for a newspaper in the Midwest.

    If you want to read the details, follow the second link above – and continue following links.  I’m not going to take the time to link each previous article individually; there are just too damn many of them now.

    Sheesh.  I guess dumbasses gonna continue being dumbasses regardless.  But you’d think that they’d eventually learn.

    Give it up, Dorkus WitLessOne.  You should be worrying about getting the help you obviously need instead of worrying about who I am.  Otherwise, I’m guessing this could end up your theme song someday.

    But if you – and any of your cronies – want to continue, just remember:  one of the best things about the First Amendment is that it helps us identify morons easily.  (Hat tip to longtime TAH commenter Bobo for the original version of that sentiment.)

  • Abandoned corpse identified as WWII vet

    Robert Brooks’ body was found in a suitcase abandoned in a field in Arkansas. He was an 89-year-old veteran of the Second World War where the 4 foot 11 inch Brooks served as a ball turret gunner on a B-17 bomber. According to Arkansas police, Brooks’ caregivers were planning to defraud social security, according to Fox News;

    Robert Brooks died of natural causes at his home about a month before his body was discovered in a Prairie County field on March 5, Lt. David Gilbo of the Johnstown, New York, Police Department told the Arkansas Democrat-Gazette.

    […]

    Two people considered to be caregivers of Brooks have been detained on suspicion of abuse of a corpse. Police are not considering the case a homicide, but authorities are reportedly looking into the possibility that the two were planning to defraud Social Security.

    Gilbo said authorities will not be extraditing them to New York because of Arkansas’ strict laws on abuse of a corpse. In New York, the offense is punishable by three years in prison, while in Arkansas it is punishable by 10 years.

    From Arkansas Online;

    Police arrested Virginia “Ginger” Colvin, 56, of Johnstown at a Perry County home March 8 after police found Brooks’ body March 5 in the suitcase in a field in the Crossroad community west of Des Arc.

    Michael Stivers, who was being held on unrelated charges in the Lonoke County jail, also was arrested.

    Both face charges of abusing a corpse.

    […]

    The two drove 1,300 miles to Arkansas with the suitcase in the back of Colvin’s pickup.

    When they stopped in Des Arc on March 5, a child opened the suitcase in the back of the parked truck and discovered Brooks’ body.

    Colvin and Stivers panicked and fled, Gilbo said. They dumped Brooks’ body in the field about 15 miles west of Des Arc.

    I hope there’s room under the prison for the pair.

    Thanks to Mick for the link.

  • Mexico could invalidate 1848 treaty

    According to some sources, a failed presidential candidate in Mexico has assembled evidence that the “Treaty of Peace, Friendship, Limits and Settlement between the United States of America and the Mexican Republic” of 1848 which ended the Mexican War could be invalidated because of witness statements from American soldiers at the time which claim that Antonio Lopez de Santa Anna was forced to sign the treaty;

    Former Mexican presidential candidate and founder of the democratic socialist party Cuauhtemoc Cardenas and lawyer Guillermo Hadman found several legal arguments that would allow them to nullify the Guadalupe Hidalgo Agreement of 1848, imposed under U.S. military occupation.

    […]

    The case could eventually be presented to the International Court of Justice, but would depend on approval by Mexican President Enrique Peña Nieto, according to Hadman. He prepares to present him the documents with a march to his office in which he invites all Mexicans to join.

    The course they really want to take is the one that the US pays Mexico for the use of the land over the past century, because if we gave them the land back, they’d just broaden their current shit hole country.

  • Jessica Farrar and her bill to punish men for rubbing one out

    CNN reports that Texas state representative Jessica Farrar has proposed a bill that would punish men for masturbating because she thinks that men would learn a lesson;

    Farrar has long been an advocate of women’s health in a state that has made it extremely difficult for women to get abortions. And the bill, by pointing out a sexist double standard, is meant to shine a light on the obstacles women deal with when it comes to their health care.

    “Let’s look at what Texas has done to women,” Farrar told CNN. “What if men had to undergo the same intrusive procedures?”

    Farrar’s bill would penalize men for masturbation because such behavior is a failure to preserve the sanctity of life and “an act against an unborn child.”

    Clearly she doesn’t understand the science of reproduction. If Texas had a law that made menstruation a finable offense, she’d have a point, however she misses the mark widely. I wonder how she intends to enforce the law. Are we supposed to report ourselves for rubbing one out when we’re in Texas?

  • “American Guns” reality star convicted

    “American Guns” reality star convicted

    According to UK’s Daily Mail, Richard Wyatt the 53-year-old star of the Discovery Channel’s American Guns reality series was convicted in Denver on Friday for selling guns illegally and hiding $1.1m from the IRS.

    A federal jury convicted the father-of-two on 10 felony counts and now the reality star faces up to 15 years in prison, according to Friday’s verdict.

    […]

    He had signed on for two seasons, or 26 episodes, for a contract totaling nearly $500,000, despite knowing that his store didn’t have a legal license to sell guns.

    Instead, Wyatt used other local guns stores to sell his weapons through, in a straw license scheme that he was recently convicted for, according to court records.

    Wyatt’s lawyers tried to argue that the $1.1million in unreported income was simply because the gunsmith ‘was a horrible bookkeeper’.

    Discovery Channel is having a rough time with their reality stars lately.

  • Nigerian welfare scam

    Nigerian welfare scam

    Bobo sends a link to the story of an Arlington, Virginia woman, Helen Agbapuruonwu, who has been collecting welfare benefits for the last six years, while her husband, Fidelis Agbapuruonwu, was earning a seven figure income as a lawyer with the DC firm of Mayer Brown.

    She’s been arrested while folks believe that Fidelis, a Nigerian immigrant, has “fled the country and is somewhere in Africa.”

    Police say a six-month investigation into Helen Agbapuruonwu, 41, found that the mother of four had collected benefits like food stamps and Medicaid assistance for the past six years.

    While Helen was collecting benefits, her husband, Fidelis Agbapuruonwu, was earning $1.5 million per year as a lawyer, according to court documents obtained by News4.

    In 2001, Fidelis received the prestigious Paul and Daisy Soros Fellowship which helped pay his way through law school.