Valkyrie sends us Don Shipley’s latest Phony SEAL of the Week video with John Stark (but he says that’s not his real name);
John claims to be Marine Recon and a Navy SEAL. John also runs “The Stunning Agency” where for a nominal fee John will provide Sniper Cover Fire while he leads you through Afghanistan, Iraq and a host of other countries. All you have to do is send John a bunch of money.
John also claims that his company has conducted over 250 hostage rescue mission throughout the world and basically John is full of shit…
Johns other problem besides scamming people is not knowing how to use spell check on his website. And its hard to take John’s claims of being a sniper seriously when he writes “Cross Heirs” instead of Cross Hairs.
Johns survival techniques also come into question when he suggests catching snakes by baiting a fish hook with a live rat or lizard and it seems like a lot of work to first run down a rat or a lizard. Better yet is when John suggests throwing a burning squirrel into the top of a tree for a signal fire…
Comments
110 responses to “John “Not my real name” Stark meets Don Shipley”
You know, if I was lost in the woods, the thing that I’d do would be to start chasing the squirrels so that I could burn them.
Anyone see Wittengfelds comment on facebook up and above?
Don Shipley is a national treasure. AND he drinks Maker’s. Outstanding. And Dullass is a tedious, drunken bore.
@48: Thank you very much for ID’ing Jessa Younker. Now the rest of this thread will be filled with her best pictures.
His whole site, like the BS he was telling Senior Chief is simply crap he found via google. He’s lucky Google autocorrects for him.
Two things I noticed about his site (that I’m sure everyone else did also) 1. The plane he has on it, in the top left hand, corner looks like the one from the Rescue Rangers cartoon. 2. He has in bold letters the TSA so that anyone looking for the legit TSA website might mistakenly click on his site, for more hits.
I see that a couple of y’all have tracked down where some of his photos came from. Have you tried to contact the real owners of the photos? The ones that aren’t public that is.
I sure hope he comes here. I can’t wait for the shit storm he’s about to be involved in to start.
Also thanks to Jonn for not including the silly little statements I send along with these links. I’d hate for anyone to think they were serious. hah!
Ex-PH2 – I’ll get back on our little project as soon as I have my internet back up and running. I don’t want to do it on an open network. Sorry it’s taking so long, but I’ve not forgotten you doll. Hopefully tomorrow I’ll have something ready to get back to you.
I’m floored. This guy is a full on fucking retard. Sounds like a moron who just made up a website because he’s lonely. There is no one in hell he could ever fool someone into thinking he remotely knows what he is talking about.
Valkyrie, just let me know when you’re ready for the half-succubus, too. She gets to kill off the incubus after she says “Hello, Daddy.”
It’s the first time I’ve written a spook story, but was die bumsen? It’s Halloweeny time, isn’t it? New Releases Tuesday is coming up fast.
On another note, I think that the imgages of Miss Younker prove that women can, indeed, do pull-ups if properly trained.
Hey, Dummmasss, is it okay if I have you cloned into your evil twin sister? Not only will she have a walrus mustache just like you do, she’ll be as fat about the middle as you are and smell like a vat of whiskey mash if you get too close.
In regard to the photos, at least one comes from National Geographic: the giant gypsum crystal cave image is from a documentary they did. It’s down in Mexico and you can’t go into it without protective clothing and breathing equipment. The temperature is so high that cave that it will scorch your lungs. The underwater stuff is probably all the work of Rico Besserdich, but the rest, I’d have to guess at: probably stolen from sites like Photobucket and Flicker and even premium royalty sites. I have one more place to go to, so I’ll get back on that, but I’ll put people there on alert. Some of that looks like stuff from the Himalayas and the Alps, or maybe Alaska, Patagonia. Hard to tell without some kind of ID, but I’ll do what I can.
@56 You’d be surprised. If not for Don Shipley’s Hair and sites like this that bust phonies, folks like me who have no military background whatsoever could be taken in by that kind of BS.
BTW, didn’t this oxygen thief tell Senior Chief he was shutting his copyright infringement site down? Another lie from a liar. And gotta love the “I’ma gonna sue you” threat at the beginning of the video: Bring on the “lawers”, you pathetic loser, we’ll put together a fund for Don Shipley’s Legal Defense, Booze Cellar and Netflix Subscription.
I have sent an e-mail off to Jim and Donna Everhard at Nature Photographers Network, asking them to spread the word on this. I’ll let you know what happens at that end. Here’s a link to NPN: http://www.naturephotographers.net/
I think it’s plain why it’s so important that as many people get the word on this as possible.
As far as I can see, this Stark idiot is not only not remotely as bright and creative as Tony Stark, he appears to be running a con with this business of his. His mailing address is Brazil but his phone number posted on his TSA website is out of Smithfield, NC, as I said elsewhere.
Since military photographers do get credit lines for their work, it’s an abomination that he’s claiming any of those military pictures as his or even that he is in them.
I would like to shred his ass right alonside Chief Shipley.
What? You all couldn’t come up with any ‘boy-girl’ movies for Mom Shipley? Such a lack of consideration for her.
Better to light a squirrel than to curse the darkness.
Geez, Hack, post a spew alert!
Sprayed my monitor screen, and I just got it nice and clean yesterday.
I like the part claiming skills in “the marital arts”
Marital Arts? And what the hell is with these web sites? These guys never heard of proof reading before posting. Somewhere, my tenth grade English teacher is weeping.
If you can’t find a squirrel to light, how about Don Shipley’s rug. You could see that thing burn from the Lunar Space Station.
It’s pretty obvious to me that this lightweight never tried to light a squirrel on fire. At the first application of the flame the fur goes Poof! They will not stay lit long enough to toss them into a tree. You can set fire to them if you put them into an already burning Signal Fire. Of course, if you already have a fire why would need a squirrel?
Obviously, this dumb clunk doesn’t know that you don’t set squirrels on fire unless you’ve breaded them and are ready to pan-fry them with dirty rice and beans, for supper.
Some great tips on his website.
Watch how much you drink
Be careful in hot climates drinking too much alcohol it can have a stronger affect and exaggerate dehydration.
Recon
Make sure you get all your flight information and you know where to go before you get there, via airports, hotels, goggle everything
Blade sharpener-
Always bring a blade sharpener, for whatever reason people forget about the importance of a sharp edge.
Something tells me that he isn’t the sharpest knife in the drawer.
If for any reason you cannot cross a boarder your adventure will be canceled and your money will not be refunded, make sure you can legally be in the country you would like to go.
I have seen quite a few people cross boarders on Judge Judy. Sometimes they have to refund the security deposit.
Seriously, anyone that could afford the services this guy claims to provide would never pay an idiot like him after seeing the shit the guy put on his web page. We have said it before regarding a Bethesda Maryland visitor; “Spelling and grammar are your friends.”
Dudes website claims he has done 200 missions in South America, Africa, Europe, etc.
He has to be sick in the head, mental issues. He doesnt seem like he is worth the trouble. I wish there was a counter on his webpage, probably would have shown that we are the only people who has seen his pathetic website.
Even got a fake brazilian fella in on his scheme. My guess is that brazilian guy is probably him using a pay as you go cell phone.
This assclown has to make the next Fecal Four.
Bedwetter
No disrespect towards Alicia Keyes, but….
“This squirrel is on fire…”
And I’m sure he meant Cross Hares, since he likes furry mammals.
“Cross heirs”,,,, That would be pissing off people who inherit someone’s assets?
I’m still trying to figure out what this Mensa candidate was thinking, when he decided on making the fucking *TSA* his acronym sound-alike for a purportedly covert badass adventure company.
The pictures on The Stunning Agency website are phony (not belonging to him or of his “agency”) as well. He plagiarized those from different websites that have legit diving, mountaineering and military photos and made them out to be his own. Loser.
He fails to give instructions on how to catch a squirrel to begin with.
I mean, you can’t just walk up behind them and grab them, right?
Master Sergeant–just show ’em your nuts.
No, not those nuts.
“He fails to give instructions on how to catch a squirrel to begin with.
I mean, you can’t just walk up behind them and grab them, right?”
I’d like to see that twaddle-fuck try to catch a full grown squirrel bare-handed. Funny story from my youth. One time we were driving and hit a squirrel. My brother got out the car and tried to pick up what he thought was a dead squirrel. That thing ran up one of his arms around his head twice and down the other arm faster than a cat can lick it’s own ass, scratching nipping and screetching the entire way.
Smart money goes on the squirrel over John “brainchild” Stark.
I thinking that a “Flaming Squirrel” is a drink at one of the more popular gay bars in DuPont Circle. Just speculation on my part, no first hand knowledge.
Hey what is wrong with Dupont Circle? I mean ah … Yeah what Hack Stone said.
EX-PH2 – Sorry sweets but it’s still a no go on my internet. They’ve been charging me for over a year for Direct TV (yeah I don’t pay attention to my bills, half the time I don’t even open them) and I don’t have TV, we use the internet to watch shows along with Netflix and Amazon Prime. So the way I see it they owe me a fuckton of money and I am not backing down.
Sorry to put this here, but I don’t want to use my email while on someone else’s WiFi and device.
And John Stark is an asshole! There now my comment is relevant to the thread.
Valkyrie, it’s fine. I’m sending it off this weekend and finishing the other one.
Just keep after them. I know you can give them hell.
This guy may be on to something. Thanks to Al Gore inventing inner tubes, I found this photo: http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_E9h6gBbfOZg/S1uAACjvCCI/AAAAAAAACOQ/g6T0gyRwHYs/s1600/squirrel%252Bon%252Bfire
I also see that The Stunning Agency knows about “repelling”. I am sure what few customers they may have had find the repelling.
@83 That is hilarious. Viewing that picture got a repurposed Katie Perry song stuck in my head: “That. Squirel. Is. On. FIRE!!!”
The Stunningly Stupid Agency website is now history… Gone with the wind.
John (not my real name) Stark = asshole bedwetter.
The Stunning Agency…if there is a more crap-tastic name for any kind of “adventure-for-hire” organization, I have yet to find it.
And what kind of doofus would adopt a company with the acronym “TSA”? Brain damage indeed.
P.I.E., i think the average Thugs Sexually Assaulting or Thieves, Shitheads, & Assholes Agent WOULD be dumb enough to book a trip with that pus-nutted dimwit con artist!!
Well, well, well. Someone got hisself caught in the wringer of reality and had to vacate the premises.
That’s one for the Truth Squad Awesomeness people, zero for the blighter.
Much like the Solyndra debacle, I seriously doubt that The Stunning Agency ever managed to get one customer/client. If The Stunning Agency name is now available, perhaps it could be repurposed. I think the name was would be suitable for a transvestite modeling agency.
Rehosted at http://tsagency.info/ if you still need a visual emetic.
Thanks, Fjardeson. I was planning on taking a walking tour of Barry Farms in Soufeast Dc, and wanted to avail myself of the services, such as counter-sniper protection, hostage rescue, and “people skills such as how to deal with people with fears during the trips and negotiation skills for getting what they need from locals in primitive areas and other people/culture skills”.
Today’s survival tip, courtesy of The Stunning Agency: “Oranges are the best fruit for survival. Oranges are great because you can get food, hydration, shelter, medical, weapons and you can regrow orange trees year after year. You can also start a fire with an orange.”
I guess to use an orange as a weapon, you would squirt someone in the eye with some citric juice. I can’t figure out how an orange would provide you shelter, and if you are starving, and can manage to wait a few years, you can plant the orange seeds, and in a few years, you will have a plethora of oranges.
Will the real Slim Shady please stand up?
That Stunning Agency site is a scream. I particularly like the fact that his partner died in an accident. I can’t help but wonder whether he died while demonstrating a survival technique. Of all the advice, there are two tidbits I especially enjoyed. The first is that in the winter, one can make ice targets using one’s freezer, some water, and a cookie mold tray. For added fun, one can add food coloring to the ice targets. The other is the jungle hammock which he says will keep one safe from snakes at night. I guess these are special, retarded snakes that don’t go up or down trees and other objects. Either that or he left out the part where the hammock is to be slung in a motel room.
You can start a fire with oranges because they are… well, orange. And fire is orange, so if you use a fruit of the same color, it will start up a fire.
That explains the fire season in California.
They have a new site up, judging by the “who is” data the domain was just registered…
http://tsagency.info/Home_Page.html
Still nuttier than flaming squirrel shit!
I hear that All Points Logistics will be availing the services of The Stunning Agency for their next corporate retreat.
Interesting, I’ve heard that Show of Support has talked about contracting with them as well!
I am convinced that had a hand in developing The Stunning Agency website. Just as coherent that Paul would have written. And yet again, somewhere, my High School English teacher is weeping.
Darn IPhone. You probably have surmised that the first sentence should have Paul’s name in there.