Valkyrie sends us Don Shipley’s latest Phony SEAL of the Week video with John Stark (but he says that’s not his real name);
John claims to be Marine Recon and a Navy SEAL. John also runs “The Stunning Agency” where for a nominal fee John will provide Sniper Cover Fire while he leads you through Afghanistan, Iraq and a host of other countries. All you have to do is send John a bunch of money.
John also claims that his company has conducted over 250 hostage rescue mission throughout the world and basically John is full of shit…
Johns other problem besides scamming people is not knowing how to use spell check on his website. And its hard to take John’s claims of being a sniper seriously when he writes “Cross Heirs” instead of Cross Hairs.
Johns survival techniques also come into question when he suggests catching snakes by baiting a fish hook with a live rat or lizard and it seems like a lot of work to first run down a rat or a lizard. Better yet is when John suggests throwing a burning squirrel into the top of a tree for a signal fire…
Comments
110 responses to “John “Not my real name” Stark meets Don Shipley”
HackStone, I think you have a crunch of some kind on our bitchie-boiar. His tap is shut off.
My niece will be in Bethesda this holiday weekend, so I will be having lunch with her in one if the finer establishments in town. No need to cruise down Wilson Lane. I’ll just assume that he hasn’t gotten around to fixing his mailbox. Can someone give the name of that tavern that he is banished from? I’ll pick up the slack of their lost revenue from Otis the town drunk not coming around.
Hack…that would be ALL OF THEM.
“On Star Navigation. How may I help you?”
“Can you give me directions to All Of Them Tavern?”
“One moment, Mr. Stone.”
“Call me Hack. Mr Stone is my father.”
Just for S&G’s (shits & giggles for you non-mil types), I decided to take a look at this douche cookie’s website. It leaves me wondering, does this asshat even have a reasonable working knowledge of the English language? Oh, wait! I forgot! He has dain bramage! That explains all of the run-on sentences, improper tenses, and bad spelling! Never got past the “About TSA” page — I was laughing too friggin’ hard! I’ll have to go back and read about the flaming squirrels after I clean up the coffee I spit all over my monitor and keyboard!
I see the Stunningly Stupid Agency is still using those same photos, “stolen” from all over the Internet.
John (not my real name) Stark, Stunningly Stupid Bedwetter.
Damn, how did I miss this story originally? Here I was cruising the “Stolen Valor” tab since all we got today apparantly was a “Happy New Year, Dickweeds”. You guys had me laughing my ass off. You were really on fire… Sorry…
Yea, catching a live squirrel and setting it on fire. So much easier than oh, I don’t know, setting the g’damn tree on fire. Teh stupid be strong withthis one…
So, who is that foreign officer in the BUD/S class 236?
How do you catch a squirrel bare handed. Those things are fast as hell. LOL
To be fair, I only remember a couple of people from past schools I’ve been in. (Usually a joker or someone that did something extraordinarily stupid.)But I keep all that crap in my “Iloveme” book so I don’t have to keep it in my noggin.
Oh and you always remember the foreign guys. If nothing else because you can teach them so many terrible things to say… We had a Kenyan guy Mbugwa in school and he left with every curse word we could think of and or make up in his vocabulary.