Valkyrie sends us Don Shipley’s latest Phony SEAL of the Week video with John Stark (but he says that’s not his real name);
John claims to be Marine Recon and a Navy SEAL. John also runs “The Stunning Agency” where for a nominal fee John will provide Sniper Cover Fire while he leads you through Afghanistan, Iraq and a host of other countries. All you have to do is send John a bunch of money.
John also claims that his company has conducted over 250 hostage rescue mission throughout the world and basically John is full of shit…
Johns other problem besides scamming people is not knowing how to use spell check on his website. And its hard to take John’s claims of being a sniper seriously when he writes “Cross Heirs” instead of Cross Hairs.
Johns survival techniques also come into question when he suggests catching snakes by baiting a fish hook with a live rat or lizard and it seems like a lot of work to first run down a rat or a lizard. Better yet is when John suggests throwing a burning squirrel into the top of a tree for a signal fire…
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110 responses to “John “Not my real name” Stark meets Don Shipley”
“…throwing a burning squirrel into the top of a tree for a signal fire…”
Hehehe…the damn squirrels plaguing my neighborhood better watch out! I might try out that “survival signalling technique” on their sorry little squirrly butts; on the other hand, this technique comes from the mouth of a posering mental case, so it probably won’t work anyway…
What you don’t through burning squirrel into the top of a tree for a signal fire? Where have you been? It is the popular thing to do and all the rage in fact it is being taught in SERE school as a way to distract gurads and make your escape, well provided your in a country with squierrel’s the other one you can use is a honey badger but they do not take kindly to being set on fire.
After reading this, I think I’d rather throw a burning John (not his real name) Stark into a treetop. That seems, though, a lot of work although i suspect it’d be right amusing for those watching. Maybe even get Don’s hair to do a happy dance while watching it. 🙂
WHAT?? You mean he’s NOT the brother to Tony “Iron Man” Stark?
Given the nature of this person he called, maybe he should’ve followed up the “I’m Spartacus” clip with this. Then again, maybe these videos really can’t be improved upon.
It left me wondering what we were supposed to do if we found ourselves in “Reaper’s cross heirs,” what they were going to inherit, what would happen if we got inside them, and what they were cross about…”congenital syphilis” might answer all three.
I’d sure find burning squirrels an effective distraction, considering I’d probably be laughing my ass off right up to the point the entire forest was on fire.
That guys sounds like something out of a Monty Python skit.
Here’s a link to one of the cooler photos on the site. Time to go cook up some “tent steaks”.
http://www.pixoto.com/images-photography/transportation/airplanes/airplane-wreck-underwater-21790689
Burning squirrel? Will the threat of fire keep them out of my birdfeeder?
When the estranged-children of the German missionaries he conned go after him to reclaim their inheritance, only to find themselves at odds with each other, it will be the world’s most awesome quadruple-pun in action.
From his website: “…guiding clients through hostel war territory…”
Those 20-something hippy coeds and their backpacks must be much more dangerous than I thought.
Yeah, I took a hard look at the photos posted on Stark’s website. They are ALL stolen from other photographers. The airplane wreck is by Rico Besserdich, a Turkish photographer who does a lot of underwater photography.
I’d like to know where Stark poached the rest, like the giant gypsum crystal cave image. I’ve seen some of that stuff before. He isn’t just a liar, he’s a thief.
Copyright violation is pretty serious, and IP theft is all over the internet. This is the nastiest example I’ve seen so far, and this jackass is making money from it.
This fucker sounds like a burnt squirrel!!
I’d love to see who and where the web site photos really came from.
Why couldn’t my Military Mountaineering instructor look like the hottie in that picture.
I sent an e-mail off to Chief Shipley about the photos.
If you borrow someone else’s IP to use, at least have the decency to give the creator of that stuff some credit instead of claiming that you did it yourself.
John Stark lacks other sweet skills, like bowhunting skills and computer hacking skills.
Girls dig guys with sweet skills.
Wait, this guy is ‘Reaper’? How many damn Reapers can their be in the SOF community? Doesn’t it get confusing when they’re conducting imaginary missions?
“Come in Reaper, this is Reaper.”
“Roger Reaper, this is Reaper.”
“Roger Reaper, Reaper 6 wants to know your location and whether you have comm with Reaper and Reaper.”
“Roger Reaper, tell Reaper 6 that Reaper is marking his position with a burning squirrel.”
Anonymous: hey, “Reaper” sounds a whole lot better than the more accurate callsign for this guy: “Bullsh!tter”.
So, if this guy haz such mad skillz, how does he light the squirrel?
Rubbing two chipmunks together???
We should Mrs. (Mom, a/k/a Diane) Shipley her due. She wants a boy-girl movie.
Here’s a start: “Shakespeare in Love”. It has swordfighting, great dialoge, a Queen, and some very bawdy jokes. Some kissing and leaping about. And someone is mistaken for a ghost.
“Romeo and Juliet” 1968 – swordfights, some leaping about and kissing, one boob shot, and men in tights trying to kill each other.
“Romeo and Juliet” 1996 (Baz Luhrman’s version) – really a gangbanger version, downright nasty
“Tom Jones” – smashing dialogue, lots of play to the camera, an eating orgy, really nasty villain, a terrific swordfight and Tom is rescued at the end
“Prizoner of Zenda” 1952 – a truly devious, slimy villain who is in it for himself, a doppelganger of the King, a great swordfight, and the Queen falls in love with the King’s double.
Oh, yeah, if it has to be action, “Aliens” – facehuggers, an android that looks a lot like Lance Henriksen, a bitchslapping contest between a human and a giant bug, and those looks between Hicks and Ripley.
I see that Dallas Witless-ranger is now being forced to comment via the Facebook area above.
Such a sad, sad man.
Hey, I see Large and Stupid up at the top. Still living your little fantasy world, eh?
It’s nice that you have a hobby, witlessandwandering, but saving navel lint won’t prove profitable. There’s no market for it.
Hey, Wittgelded…
Seems to me as though you’ve been making those threats for a year or two now. All hat, no cattle (as they say in Texas).
So, from what Dallas is saying up there, and mentioning the prosecution of two girls over another girls suicide, am I to assume he is going to try and get John prosecuted by offing himself and leaving a note that John was bullying him?
All I can say to that is – go for it man!
#2 – Now you have me thinking of this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6ezs2QbuFTQ
Wolf, you can’t light a squirrel on fire by rubbing two chipmunks together. It HAS to be two squirrels or the chipmunks will call you ray ciss and sue your ass off, brau. That’d be some serious shit going down, telling ya man…
My favorite from his trashsite:
“Most people make the mistake of bringing too much clothes. Only bring a few outfits and invest in Under Armor clothes the Under Armor under clothes are thin, light weight and warm in cold areas. In warm areas you may need some cool weather clothes for night time such as the Chihuahua Desert Mexico it get over 90 degrees during the night and under freezing at night because the air doesn’t hold heat during the day the air is to dry, point being dress according to where you are going always talk to the guide before packing. Generally you clothes need to be durable and effective and should dry quickly.”
How da fuck does it get over 90 degrees during night and freezing, too? I must have been asleep during that portion on temperatures and shit in class.
I browsed his website and had to ask myself if those choppers were signaled via a flaming squirrel?
Movie night at the Shipley’s. Sounds more like the old radio show “The Bickersons”! Mrs. Shipley needs to pursue a singing career.
Just so you know, if you have Witless blocked on Facebook, you don’t have to see his comments here. Your choice.
After looking at his website I thought “So his TSA is just like the .gov TSA – worthless, full of shit, and a waste of time and money”
Wittgenfeld continues to admit that he’s a pre-pubescent girl which is atleast a good thing.
He really can’t grasp the concept that everything he cites to is about children. Adults are supposed to be able to handle their emotions and things like that. Which is why his bullshit citations to “cyber harrassment” always deal with children. But a trail assassin who is the mental equivalent of a 14 year old girl makes perfect sense, when it is him anyway.
Had to dig for it, but found TSA’s email address: thestunningagency@gmail.com.
TSO – I tried to visualize a 14-year-old girl with a walrus mustache. Then I fell off my chair laughing.
You can only rub squirrels together to start a fire if you have their written consent and ONLY if they are secret squirrels… ’cause, you know, they don’t want their secrets getting out. It’s why they’re called secret squirrels.
Ex-PH2 – does that mean their being a squirrel is a secret or what they do as a squirrel is a secret??? It’s pretty damn confusing to a slowbot like me.
DullASS is just pissed off that we can’t join him in court, or that we won’t be there for moral support when he has his court case heard next month.
Sucks for you, brah.
Not secret squirrel but more like squirrels juggling chainsaws in his head that apparently set other squirrels on fire for calling out their BS. It is all fun and games until one drops the chainsaw.
Squirrel?
On fire?
In tree?
For signal fire?
Get the fu@k outta here!
I went to the trouble of using Anywho reverse phone number lookup to find out where this dude is located. It seems that he’s operating out of Smithfield, NC, and NOT in Brazil.
(919) 912-9572
Phone Type: Land Line
Location: Smithfield, NC
In fact, the map had him pegged some place in the city of Smithfield.
If he expects anyone to hire him for anything, he should go back to school and retake the classes he slept through. Marines and SEALs may be a bit bullheaded at times, but they are NOT illiterate idiots.
Instinct, take your pick.
They won’t tell ME anything. They just glare at me, and run off with what they stole from the birdfeeder. And they bury their secrets in my front lawn, in little holes in the ground.
I never realized how much I need overwatch at my local fishing hole.
Well, FWIW, the Roman army was famous for using flaming pigs……. 🙂
Must have been quite a sight!
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From here:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/War_pig
In the first century BC, Lucretius[1] mused that early humans may have attempted to launch wild beasts, such as lions or “savage boars,” against the enemy, but with catastrophic results. War pigs are pigs reported to have been used in ancient warfare as a countermeasure against war elephants. According to legend recounted in the “Alexander Romance” by Pseudo-Callisthenes,[2] Alexander the Great learned about this “secret weapon” against war elephants from Porus in India.[3]
Pliny the Elder reported that “elephants are scared by the smallest squeal of the hog”.[4] Aelian[5] confirmed that elephants were frightened by squealing pigs (and rams with horns), and reported that the Romans exploited squealing pigs (and rams) to repel the war elephants of Pyrrhus in 275 BC. Procopius, in History of the Wars,[6] records that the defenders of Edessa suspended a squealing pig from the walls to frighten away Khosrau’s single siege elephant in the sixth century AD.
Historical accounts of incendiary pigs or flaming pigs were recorded by the military writer Polyaenus[7] and by Aelian.[8] Both writers reported that Antigonus II Gonatas’ siege of Megara in 266 BC was broken when the Megarians doused some pigs with combustible pitch or resin, set them alight, and drove them towards the enemy’s massed war elephants. The elephants bolted in terror from the flaming, squealing pigs, often killing great numbers of their own soldiers.
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“I’m get a disability check for some brain damage that I got … till’ … I’m not sure when.”
So there you have it … his brain damage will get better and he will no longer get disability check!
Love this country!
“And its hard to take Johns claims of being a sniper seriously when he writes “Cross Heirs” instead of Cross Hairs.”
Maybe he uses a pair of PO’ed Northeastern bluebloods in some “Seekrit Sqwirrel” fashion? Maybe flaming seekrit skwirrels?
He’s definitely a “Flamer”!!
Proud Infidel: I thought he was trying to tell us his kids were POed at him for being a damn liar and POS . . . .
Oh, and WitLessOne: don’t flatter yourself. You’re no where near significant enough to be considered an “elephant”.
Hondo: Damn, I should have thought of that, you’re probably right, what does he have to leave his kids other than a Supertanker load of BS? As for Witlessfart, he’s more like a dried out roach turd!
The only elephant in the room is the pink one that Dulass sees when he doesn’t get his morning bottle of vodka.
I FIGURED IT OUT!!! The Misspellings, the phone number location, all of it!!!
See, it must be a secret code of some kind. The phone number is the key to it, now all I have to do is figure out the cypher….
What? Oh, sorry guys, I’ll be back later. Wife says I need to take my meds again.
All of this asshat’s pictures are bogus (you know, just in case you couldn’t tell). And if anyone had doubts about his creativity, the one of “Reaper providing sniper cover” was pulled off the friggin’ Wikipedia page of the FN SCAR. The “guide team Charlie” photo is a PUBLIC FRIGGIN’ DOMAIN PHOTO of SOF, and that [very pleasant] girl climbing is well known mountain climber Jessa Younker.
Suddenly I wonder why I even bothered looking up the pictures.
Never been in a heart-pounding combat survival situation, but I’ve always heard that when you’re in one, time is sorta tight and ya gotta act fast. So how do you find time to catch a squirrel, set it on fire, and fling it into a tree? And why do we have all those flares the military keeps buying when we can just thin out the rodent population a little for the same results?
Screw this ass@ole … Check out Jessa: https://www.google.com/search?hl=en&site=imghp&tbm=isch&source=hp&biw=853&bih=568&q=jessa+younker&oq=+Jessa+Younker&gs_l=img.1.0.0l3j0i24l5.2858.2858.0.4638.1.1.0.0.0.0.94.94.1.1.0….0…1ac..29.img..0.1.94.E3_XAACYJM0