This ain't Hell, but you can see it from here

Category: Dumbass Bullshit

  • Puck Yourselves, University Hands Out Hockey Pucks : NPR

    Puck Yourselves, University Hands Out Hockey Pucks : NPR

    For Defense Against Active Shooters, University Hands Out Hockey Pucks

    Hockey pucks: They’re small and heavy and — one Michigan college thinks — may be the perfect weapon against an active shooter on campus.

    Oakland University, a public school in Rochester Hills, near Detroit, is distributing thousands of 94-cent hockey pucks for just that reason.

    The distribution, which began earlier this month, stemmed from a March faculty active-shooter training session, which followed February’s shooting at a Parkland, Fla., high school that left 17 dead.

    A participant at the training asked Oakland University Police Chief Mark Gordon what items people could use to defend themselves on the campus, which has a no-weapons policy, the Detroit Free Press reports.

    A hockey puck was a “spur-of-the-moment idea that seemed to have some merit to it, and it kind of caught on,” Gordon said.

    The faculty union followed up on the idea, purchasing 2,500 hockey pucks: 800 for union members and 1,700 for students, the Free Press reports.

    The school conducts active-shooter training sessions multiple times a year, teaching the “run, hide, fight” method, which emphasizes fleeing an active-shooter situation above all else, hiding if fleeing isn’t an option — and fighting if hiding isn’t, either.

    Fighting, with a hockey puck or other means, should be “an absolute last strategy,” Gordon told the Free Press.

    The faculty union at Michigan’s Oakland University purchased 2,500 hockey pucks to be used as a potential weapon of last resort. The pucks also double as a fundraising tool.

    Here is the quote of the week:

    “If you threw [a hockey puck] at a gunman, it would probably cause some injury. It would be a distraction, if nothing else,” Gordon told WXYZ, a local ABC station.

    I could be wrong but it would only distract a gunman long enough to put a bullet in your ass.  I doubt a bunch of prissy libtards prancing around with hard rubber is really all that new.   I think rubber dicks might be an even bigger distraction.  Not sure if they make good door stops though.  Maybe one of you fine people would know about all that.

    I do like that each puck is serialized…do they require a background check or can any loon purchase one?

     

     

    S ource: For Defense Against Active Shooters, University Hands Out Hockey Pucks : NPR

  • Five inmates charged with stealing $560K from military personnel in online dating extortion scheme | Daily Mail Online

    Five inmates charged with stealing $560K from military personnel in online dating extortion scheme | Daily Mail Online

    Antwine Lamar Matthews, Rakeem Spivey, Jimmy Dunbar Jr, Wendell Wilkins and David Paul Dempsey have been indicted on federal charges including extortion and wire fraud.

    Five inmates in South Carolina extorted some $560,000 from hundreds of service members by using contraband cellphones to pose as underage women on dating sites, authorities say.

    Standing in front of a state prison on Wednesday in Columbia, US Attorney Sherri Lydon told reporters that Antwine Lamar Matthews, Rakeem Spivey, Jimmy Dunbar Jr, Wendell Wilkins and David Paul Dempsey had been indicted on federal charges including extortion and wire fraud.

    Ten others throughout the Carolinas have been charged with helping the inmates collect extortion payments via services including Western Union or PayPal.

    According to court documents, inmates used contraband phones to join dating websites, pretending to be women as they contacted and exchanged nude images with military personnel throughout the country.

    For $560,000 you can call me and I will pretend to be anything you want … just sayin.

    Once the targets had been reeled in, inmates then posed as an authority figure, such as a father or police officer, claiming the girl with whom the victim had been communicating was underage and demanding money to keep the exchanges private, according to Drew Goodridge of the Naval Criminal Investigative Service.

    Fearful they’d be accused of disseminating child pornography, possibly losing their military careers, more than 442 service members handed over more than $560,000 total between September 2015 and January 2018, authorities said.

    Keeping our naughty conversations confidential is included in the price.

    The inmates involved were identified in five federal indictments released Wednesday, according to WIS10. The indictments are outlined below:

    • Between September 2015 and December 2017, victims wired more than $29,000 to Malcom Cooper, Andreika Mouzon and Flossie Brockington, who transferred the money to Antwine Lamar Matthews and other inmates, sometimes taking a cut
    • Roselyn Pratt helped inmate Rakeem Spivey fraudulently collect more than $5,000 in 2016
    • Mitchlene Padgett helped inmate Jimmy Dunbar Jr extort nearly $30,000 between May 2016 and December 2017
    • Jalisa Thompson, of Spartanburg, and Tiffany Reed, of Charlotte, helped inmate Wendell Wilkins obtain at least $80,000 from military personnel between February 2016 and January 2018. Thompson and Reed, as well as Brandon Thompson and Laben McCoy, then laundered the money
    • Edgar Jermaine Hosey, of Aiken, helped inmate David Paul Dempsey extort money from military personnel between May 2016 and December 2017

    You can read all about these poor military victims at the link below.  Not sure if they have a GoFundMe set up yet.  Poor guys, they are all guys right?

    Source: Five inmates charged with stealing $560K from military personnel in online dating extortion scheme | Daily Mail Online

  • Some mornings I just love this site.

    I got up at Zero Dark Thirty to finalize this years battle plan for the War on Christmas and some prissy little gay white boy insisted on sending us an early present.

    WARNING: THIS TWINKLE TOED LIBTARD USES LANGUAGE THAT MIGHT OFFEND YOU JESUS LOVING ALT RIGHT TUMPTARDS.   YOU MIGHT WANT TO PLAY THIS ALONE IN A DARK QUIET PLACE. 

     

    I also noticed that Hillary finally confessed to her crimes:

    In an interview over the weekend, Hillary Clinton continued to deny any wrongdoing in the various controversies she was involved with during her time as Secretary of State and the 2016 Democratic candidate, claiming her only crime was “stealing the hearts of the American people.”

    The interviewer asked Clinton if she was guilty of any of the myriad accusations against her when she admitted to being “100% guilty” of being America’s sweetheart.

    “If being an extremely likable person beloved by every true American is a crime, then lock me up!” she said, laughing. “I’m guilty on all counts! Put me away for years! Throw me in the dungeon and toss the key in the garbage!”

    She also confessed to lesser crimes of being “a woman of the people” and “extremely relatable.”

    “I can’t help it if I’m just really good at connecting with the common man, who may only own two or three modest homes and wear suits worth less than $1,000,” she said. “I’m just that really down-to-earth kind of person, and you can’t blame me for that. It’s just who I am, fam!”

    You people need to be more understanding and compassionate.  Apparently,  you just don’t understand anything.  Try to play nice.

     

  • For the Whiners Who Whine About Everything

    What’s the matter? Someone piss in your Cheerios this morning?

    Motorcade Would Disrupt Traffic by JILL COLVIN, Associated Press

    PARIS (AP) — Stung by criticism for not attending an event honoring U.S. military dead, the White House says President Donald Trump didn’t want to disrupt Paris roadways for a last-minute motorcade to a cemetery in northern France.

    https://www.usnews.com/news/politics/articles/2018-11-11/trump-visit-to-us-cemetery-in-france-canceled-due-to-rain

    Trump had been scheduled to lay a wreath and observe a moment of silence Saturday at the Aisne-Marne American Cemetery and Memorial, located adjacent to Belleau Wood and about 60 miles (100 kilometers) northeast of Paris. The White House cited weather conditions that grounded the president’s helicopter for the cancellation.

    In the wake of criticism that Trump didn’t travel by car to the event, press secretary Sarah Huckabee Sanders issued a statement Sunday that noted the weather and “near-zero visibility” as well as concerns that a motorcade on short notice would have required closing substantial portions of area roadways.

    “President Trump did not want to cause that kind of unexpected disruption to the city and its people,” Sanders said. She also said the trip to Aisne-Marne was 2½ hours each way by car. – Article.

    The determination to ground Marine One, the president’s helicopter, due to bad weather is made by the Marine Corps and the White House Military Office, which then presents the recommendation to the White House in collaboration with the Secret Service, according to a Secret Service official. – Article.

    Fine with me. I don’t know that it makes a difference to anyone other than those who have nothing better to do than nitpick everything from the First Lady’s shoes to which way the wind blows.

    Some people are simply not happy, period. Whiners gotta whine, and there are people who’d complain if you gave them a brand new rope to dangle from.

     

     

  • Meantime, for you gun nutz:

    I am not hoplophobic!

    This one is for you gun nutz, happening in New York (probably NYC) now.

    https://www.thetruthaboutguns.com/2018/11/daniel-zimmerman/coming-to-an-anti-gun-state-near-you-ny-pols-want-social-media-checks-before-buying-guns/

    From the article:

    “Two New York lawmakers are working to draft a bill that would propose a social media check before a gun purchase.

    But it’s OK. They only want to look at the last three years of your online activity.

    Brooklyn Borough President Eric Adams and state Sen. Kevin Palmer’s proposal would allow authorities to review three years of social media history and one year of internet search history of any person seeking to purchase a firearm.” – Article

    And don’t think it will stop there, either, because it won’t. Note the use of the word ‘hoplophobic’. You could have a T-shirt printed with “I am not hoplophobic” printed on it, just to confuse people. When asked about it, you could either answer it truthfully (not afraid of guns) or just say you had the vaccination for it.

    Aside from the ‘invasion of privacy’ part, it’s also a violation of the 1st Amendment’s ‘right of free speech’ phrase to be that invasive. If you act like an ass on social media, well, you are definitely an ass but that does not mean you should be denied your rights over it.  Nor does posting stupid remarks, such as ‘he ought to be shot/boiled in oil/made to do something idiotic’ make you a threat to society. There is a wide difference between venting your anger about some injustice, and making real threats of violence.

    While I’d like to see some dimwitted not-funny comedienne who likes to frighten small children with severed heads spend some time in the cooler, it’s better to ostracize someone like that than it is to deny basic rights that we all take for granted to someone, even if that someone is a colossal social moron.

    “Don’t think this will stop in New York, even if these two can’t manage to get their little brainstorm signed into law. How long will it take Daddy Bloombucks and his hoplophobic harridans to get signature collectors out on the streets and fund the initiative campaigns to get something like this on the 2020 ballot in California or Washington State?” – Article

    Read the rest of the article. It is both a hoot and a ‘yank your chain to wake you’ effort. You cannot afford to take anything for granted any more. This news shows just how desperate this bunch of control freaks are to deprive you of your basic Constitutional rights.

    I’ll stick to my guns (snort!) on this and say that while my state may have the most mingy, cringingly stringent laws on gun ownership, the reason the Deerfield, IL, mayor was defeated in her attempt to illegally seize personally-owned guns from residents was that they had universally obeyed state laws, were well within their rights in owning them, and she violated both state law and the federal law – 2nd Amendment to the US Constitution – when she did that without warning.

    That whole business about sanctuary counties for gun owners doesn’t look quite so ridiculous now, does it? How about sanctuary states?

    If you missed my advice yesterday, I said “GO VOTE!!” Then you can go to your local gun shop and stock up on ammo and hold the Lapua briefly in your arms.

  • Important Message From General Charles H. Jacoby!!

    I received the following e-mail last night, and am puzzled as to how to properly respond to it. I’m torn between being flattered that someone wants to give me 30% of $38,000,000 Big Ones, and knowing that no matter how earnestly I respond, the Western Union office that used to be next door to the restaurant on the highway is – well, it’s gone, because nobody patronized it, and the cash to which General Jacoby is referring would have to be shipped to me by Fed Ex – and I’m not sure that they’d want that kind of responsibility, unless, perhaps, General Jacoby paid to insure delivery before he shipped the $38,000,000 Big Ones to me.

    Of course, you do realize that I would expect to be rewarded for my endeavors by a considerably larger percentage than a mere 30%. If I’m to guard this cash hoard against all takers, I’d require personal weapons of my own, which requires qualifying for a CCW as well as acquiring an FOID, all of which takes time. There is no instant gratification in this kind of thing. I would also require reinforcement of the walls of my house, or else a new garden shed with a more secure door and lock on the front. Again, this takes time.

    Unfortunately, I might have to be completely honest with him and tell him that my spendthrift gene would flash the “ON” button at the sight and smell of all that moola, and I’d be gone so fast, papers would fly up in my wake.

    Any suggestions are, of course, welcome, and no doubt the good general expects to find his cash hoard intact.  So what say you all?  Tell the general ‘Yes, of course, I’ll take it to help you out”? Or should I be more forthright and tell him he has to ship his entire $38,000, 000 cash hoard to a small regional airport innocuously located at Minot, North Dakota? As I understand it, Fargo is not too far from there. And Minot still does 15 second MITO exercises, so my timing must be impeccable in this matter.

    General Charles H. Jacoby <gen.chj@usa.net>

    Fri 11/2/2018, 1:24 AM

    Recipients

    Greetings,

    My name is  General Charles H. Jacoby, I am an American soldier, presently in Afghanistan for the training, advising the Afghan forces and also helping in stabilizing the country against security challenges. With a very desperate need for assistance, I have decided to contact you for your kind assistance to move the sum of (US$38,000,000.00) Thirty eight Million United States Dollars to you if I can be assured that my share will be safe in your care until I complete my service.

    Some money in various currencies was discovered in boxes at a farmhouse during a rescue operation we conducted in one of the attacks by the terrorists and it was agreed by my colleagues and I that some part of this money be shared among us. The above figure was given to me as my share, and to conceal this kind of money became a problem for me, so with the help of a British doctor working with Red Cross, I was able to get the package out to a safe location entirely out of trouble spot. he does not know the real content of the package, and believes that it belongs to a British /American medical doctor who died in a raid here in Afghanistan, and before giving up, trusted me to hand over the package to his Family.

    I have now found a much secured way of getting the package out of Afghanistan to you for pick up and I will discuss this with you when I am sure that you are willing to assist me. I am ready to compensate you with 30% of the $38 million USD for your assistance.

    I don’t know how long we will remain here, and I was shot. I lost my wife and my little girl in Afghanistan during the attack. wounded and survived two suicide bomb attacks by the special grace of God. This and other reasons I mentioned later prompted me to reach out for help. 70% of my will be used for my investment and start a new life and settle down when i am out of here.

    Please contact me as soon as possible with the following details:

    Full Name:

    Full Address:

    Tel/cell numbers:

    Occupation:

    God Bless you as I look forward to your positive response.

    Truly yours,

    General Charles H. Jacoby.

  • Regarding the Electoral College

    Back in 2016, when the election results were announced and the faces of many thousands of millennials crashed so heavily that the resulting thud registered on some seismic meters as small local quakes, there was an overheated argument going on in the media about why the electoral college should/should not be eliminated.

    It has to do with representation.

    James Madison, the primary architect of the Constitution, and the other representatives believed that the electors would be able to insure that only a qualified person becomes President. They believed that with an Electoral College, no one would be able to manipulate the citizenry. It would act as a check on an electorate that might be duped.

    Madison and the others  did not trust the population to make the right choice. The delegates to the Constitutional Convention believed that the Electoral College had the advantage of being a group that met only once and thus could not be manipulated over time by foreign governments or others. In view of how things have gone in the past two years, these people – Madison, Franklin, Adams, Jefferson, et al., had enormous foresight.

    The electoral college is part of the compromises made at the Constitutional Convention to satisfy the small states. Under the system of the Electoral College, each state had the same number of electoral votes as they have Representatives (not Senators) in Congress, therefore, no state could have less than 3. The result of this system is that in the 2016 election, the state of Wyoming casts about 210,000 votes, and thus each elector represented 70,000 votes, while in California approximately 9,700,000 votes were cast for 54 votes, representing 179,000 votes per elector. Does this create an unfair advantage to voters in the small states whose votes actually count more than those of people living in medium and large states? Yes, and they were very aware of it from the beginning.

    The Founding Fathers, the creators of our Constitution, did not want direct election to the Presidency. They were deeply concerned that a tyrant could manipulate public opinion and come to power through the popular vote. And how often have we seen that in the 19th and 20th centuries? Yes, and there’s a long list I could show you. They saw it happen in France in 1789. We saw it happen in Russia 100 years ago, and in Germany barely 87 years in the past. And we’ve come close, as well, a couple of times.

    Since the electoral college votes are given in their entirety to the majority winner of the state ballot count in elections, the result is that one state with 10 electoral votes may tip the balance toward a specific candidate. We saw this in November 2016, in which the weeping and wailing in the outer darkness of losing a contest showed up on TV screens everywhere.

    The electoral vote is always determined by a simple majority count of 2 votes. A candidate may win the popular vote but lose the electoral vote, as happened more than once in presidential elections and happened again in our most recent presidential race. The winner-take-all method used in electoral voting was decided by the states themselves. This trend took place over the course of the 19th century as America grew in size, volume and frontiers. The total number of electoral votes is, in keeping with the growth of this country, 538, of which 270 form the 2-vote simple majority that determines who is elected President of these United States.

    Now the Democrats are casting their eyes on changing our equal representation in the Senate because – well, it cuts into their power structure. https://reason.com/blog/2018/10/08/alexandria-ocasio-cortez-we-should-elimi

    That attention-grabbing person from NYC, Ocasio-Cortez, says the electoral college is ‘a shadow of slavery’s power’, and should be eliminated. Well, no, it is not.  That statement very clearly shows her ignorance and her complete lack of understanding of the history of our Constitution and our government, never mind our country.

    Her companions on this journey of destruction say the same thing about the Senate – equal representation in one House of Congress is somehow undemocratic. Well, you bet your bippy it is. The framers of the Constitution knew that all along. They were forced into that corner 1787 for a good reason.

    We have two (2) Senators from each state, period. This has to do with the original design of the US Constitution. From the beginning, small states said that they would not accept proportional representation in the Senate, the way it is structured in the House of Representatives. James Madison and the other large-state delegates didn’t take the objections of the small-state delegates seriously. They refused the ‘equal or nothing’ terms.

    So what happened? The small states got up and walked out. They went on strike. Unless they got equal representation in the Senate, they would in fact assure the failure of the Constitutional Convention and damn the consequences. Compromise, or there will be no Constitution.

    The Articles of Confederation gave states equal sovereignty, regardless of their size. The small states would not accept being viewed as lesser entities. Thus, the U.S. Constitution was written as it stands today, because the Small States stood up to the Big Guys and said “Not just no, but hell, no.”

    The House of Representatives gives us proportional representation, and determines how many electoral votes each state has: XXX for Representatives.

    The Senate allows equal representation with 2 Senators in the US Senate for all states, regardless of size.

    The only way to change any of this is to trash the US Constitution and start over. Popular voting through proportional representation is what gave us the electoral college in the first place, in which the majority winner in each state takes all the votes. The foresight of the framers of the Constitution was not just sharply focused, but also accurate and has certainly withstood the test of time.

    The problem is that the Lefterds seem to be demonstrating their complete ignorance of the Law of the Land, in addition to an utter lack of class and respect for others, which are the rule now with them instead of the exception. They are, in fact, annoying so many people who might vote Democrat that these other people are considering their other options.

    It’s that old Newtonian rule again: for every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction.

    Most of us learned to lose at home, in grade school and on the playing fields of school sports.

    These bad mannered, obnoxious, disrespectful spoiled brats and sore losers want to throw our Constitution out the window, not just change it, so that they can have their way.

    Tough bananas.  They will just have to learn to lose gracefully.

  • Yes, There Is a Cure

    It seems that civilization in these United States is being impaired in its forward progress by a new, and previously unintended consequence: the use of certain words, which create anxiety attacks, hysterics, screaming fits, bouts of howling anger, angst-ridden episodes of curling up on the floor in a corner, with one’s face buried in the knees.

    The problem appears to be that there are individuals –  many, many individuals, in fact – whose emotions are just below the level of the boiling pot, with the result that they will suffer these howling, angst-ridden screaming tantrums.

    All of this overt hyper-emotional anxiety is triggered by the use of words related to colors. The mind seems to immediately create an angry reaction to the mere sound of a word, without any basis for it other than an embedded habitual response, which has evolved into the word ‘triggering’. (I thought Trigger was a horse. What do I know?)

    I was not sure as to whether or not there was a name for this strange disorder. However, in digging, I have found the following items:

    Chromophobia. Chromophobia (also known as chromatophobia or chrematophobia) is a persistent, irrational fear of, or aversion to, colors and is usually a conditioned response. While actual clinical phobias to color are rare, colors can elicit hormonal responses and psychological reactions.

    Leukophobia is the fear of the color white. The origin of the word leuko is Greek (meaning white) and phobia is Greek (meaning fear).

    Melanophobia is fear of the color black or the use of the word ‘black’.

    Other color phobias have names as well:

    Porphyrophobia: fear of the color purple or the word “purple”.

    Xanthophobia: fear of the color yellow or the word “yellow”.

    Erythrophobia: fear of the color red, or the word “red”.

    The problem with such phobias is that they funnel the already narrow perceptions of the sufferers into over-reacting to either hearing the words or to the colors themselves, and now those reactions appear to be morphing into near-explosive elevations, as seen in confirmation hearings for a new member of the US Supreme Court, and the more recent episode of some blonde newsreader who used the world ‘black’.

    Interestingly, there is another phobia that may have something to do with the hyper-emotional response to the use of certain words and colors: it is nomophobia: fear of being without cellphones. In fact, these two phobias: chromophobia and nomophobia may run hand in hand with each other.

    If you’re wondering as to whether or not these benighted souls can recover from their self-induced phobic states, there is good news. Therapy is available (for a fee, of course) that allows the “sufferer” to face his/her/its phobia directly and learn to live with it, while discarding the nearly automatic response of a 3-year-old throwing a temper tantrum on the floor over Mom’s use of the word “NO”.

    Whether or not there is medication included depends on the practitioner’s licensing.  Medicine can be prescribed, but medications can have side effects and/or withdrawal systems that can be severe. It is also important to note that medicines do not cure phobias. At best, they only temporarily suppress the user’s response. The usual treatments for phobias include counseling, hypnotherapy, psychotherapy, and neurolinguistic programming, which simply means a lot of talking and repeated exposure to the object of the phobia, including hearing other people use the word and seeing them wearing the color.

    So there you go: when people start going ape-shit over someone’s using a word that means a specific color, or over seeing a specific color in use, it’s certainly plausible and even helpful to calmly recommend that they get some professional help with this particular phobia, and quickly, too, before it destroys their entire lives!!!

    Maybe if you can convince them to do that, they’ll stop eating detergent pods and snorting condoms.