Author: TSO

Soup Sandwich:

Col Bill Hillar/Liam Neeson:

Ballduster:

Matthis:

Well, here it is, the final matchup, and it’s a real battle for the ages, Soup the Hood v. Ghenghis Fraud!

1) MSGT Soup Sandwich – Nick Androsky

He robbed from the rich and he gave to the poor,
He stood up to the man and he gave him what for.
Our love for him now, ain’t hard to explain,
The hero of RTB, the man they call Soup!
Our Soup saw the Rangers’ backs breakin’
He saw the Rangers lament
And he saw those instructors takin’
Every honor and leavin’ five cents
So he said, “You can’t do that to my people”
“You can’t crush them under your heel”
Soup strapped on his hat
And in five seconds flat
Stole every medal the PX had to steal…..

VS

2) “Gunny” – George Gunny Lauve

“There came into the world a blue-gray wolf
whose destiny was Heaven’s will.
His wife was a fallow deer.
They traveled together across the inland sea
and when they were camped near the source of the Onan River
in sight of Mount Burkhan Khaldun
their first son was born, named Gunny Lauve.”
— SECRET HISTORY OF THE MONGOLS

So, there it is folks. Who joins his Stolen Valor Brethren in our Fecal Four? Will it be the Soup Sandwich himself, or Gunny Lauve? Poll after the jump….
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There are only two bloggers in this world that I look at and think: “those dudes do it right.” Obviously Ace is one of them, and any of my Facebook or real friends know that el Presidente is the other. If you don’t read Barstool Sports, you are seriously missing out. It is ostensibly supposed to be a Boston Sports Blog, but the reality is it seldom has anything to really do with sports. It’s also probably not safe for work, unless you are a blogger, in which case you can pull it off. There’s lots of half naked women, and a regular segment is “Guess That Ass” that I have never once got right except for any dealing with Kim Kardassias.

Anyway, his readers bust his chops almost as much as you guys bust mine, but this may be the best damn interview with a hippie ever. He’s actually asking about Rocky IV and stuff. You think Anderson Cooper would go this far into the weeds?

From Michelle Malkin. mea culpa, I couldn’t watch the whole thing, I had to punch out at a minute when this dude/dudette was trying to explain how his transgenderism would be treated in China.

Matthis won 70/30 in a big upset (in my eyes anyway.)

Today we feature a Chippendales dancer against the real Liam Neeson.

(1) Chippendale SEAL – Joseph Cryer

Dancers never retreat! Dancers never surrender! Go spread the word. Let every queen assembled know the truth of this. Let each among them search his own soul. And while you’re at it, search your own. For if the Chippendales doth burn to the ground, think you not that we shall dance in the shade?

VS

(6) The Real Liam Neeson – Col Bill Hillar

This story shall the good man teach his son;
And Crispin Crispian shall ne’er go by,
From this day to the ending of the world,
But we in it shall be remembered-
We few, we happy few, we band of liars;
For he to-day that spins his tale with me
Shall be my brother; be he ne’er so vile,
This day shall gentle his condition;
And gentlemen in England now-a-bed
Shall think themselves accurs’d they were not here,
And hold their manhoods cheap whiles any speaks
That lied with us upon Saint Crispin’s day.
– William Shakespeare Hillar

So, who advances, and who goes home to spin takes alone?

(After the jump is the poll, once again thanks to The Sniper for the art.)
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Yesterday just happened to be people who enjoy a lifestyle that there is nothing wrong with, but today we feature two IVAW luminaries, Rick Duncan/Strandlof/King who was IVAW’s Mental Health poster child, and the flag burner himself, the Baskin Robbins Ranger Matthis Chiroux.

Again, you should know both, but for Duncan, you can go here, and for Matthis, go here.

Patton said that “no bastard ever won a war by dying for his country. He won it by making the other poor dumb bastard die for his country.” But I say that better yet is the man who sits out the war in a Reno, Nevada mental asylum, and then claims losing a finger and getting a plate in his head, while robbing the valor of both the brave men on that battlefield. – Rick Strandlof/Duncan/Gold

IVAW General: Matthis, what is worst in life?
Matthis the Barbarian (also known as Matthis of the Piss Stains): To crush your enemies, see them driven before you, and to hear the lamentation of their women.

(From the IVAW Oral Histories.)

So….I report, you decide, who will be the second to make it into the vaunted Fecal Four? Will Matthis continue to wear the mantle as the 2011 Jesse MacBeth Stolen Valor Cinderella, or will the Legend be too much for him? Poll after the jump.
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He’s a Liberace-in-a-hot-tub-with-Elton-John level ghey Brigadier General in the CIA, and she’s Lesbian Pirate, sailing the high seas looking for some booty on a poop deck, and together, they are the first of our Fecal Four matchups.

If you don’t know their names and stories by now then a) shame on you and b) you can head on over here and just click their names to find out.

Just to add some spice though, TAH semi-official photographer The Sniper managed to get some pictures of these two in their natural environments just to help you decide.

Poll after the jump.
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