This ain't Hell, but you can see it from here

Author: TSO

  • Love Letters from Paul Wickre

    From Paul Wickre, who cc’d karen.williams@us.house.gov* (my mistake, it is indeed karen.williams@mail.house.gov) , pmonkress@yahoo.com, pmonkress@allpointslogistics.com

    Mark,
    I made no threats. Your filthy speech is what is holding this up. I have you boxed in as to a turn in the tide of public opinion. My high minded speech is about the Bible and one fault you have found. There are no threats. I will chase you in the Law and Court of public Opinion and I am very, very good at it.

    I am going to pressure you and  Lilyea, like you have not seen. No posts, no Internet, no Spokeo, No Bing, No Chrome,  no ratings, nothing. You will not find a home, the ISP’s have rejected you, I have a lawsuit styled and filed in all your venues, and I will win. Your five year chase into Alvarez. V. Supremes. will dither on the vine. I have the blog SW to shut you down as anti-commerce.  I have the VC’s on the board as to you as “undesirable tenants”. I have every ISP to reject you as undesirable tenants.  I have the prescence of mind and will to chase you off the boards,

    Tomorrow for example, I will unleash more, as I see fit. I will hound you into submission.

    I would suggest and expect, if you wish to settle this business, I can apologize for Monkress, lets make terms with your tribe. I know the Sin, and lets fix it. If you don’t you can expect more, and more like you will not believe.

    Paul Wickre

    There was another ridiculous one to a bunch of us, I’ll let Jonn share it later. It came in at 12:30 EST, so I think we can assume Psul is hitting the sauce pretty hard again. Nice job cc’ing someone who works in the House of Reps though. That shouldn’t be a problem or anything.

  • Quick Note on Stolen Valor Tournament

    Having some technical issues, so the Stolen Valor Tournament will be delayed a little bit.  I hope to get it up later today, but having some computer issues right now.  As every year, I am at Boys State this week, and the computer is acting funky.

     

  • Your Winners from the First Round

    winner 1

    Winner 2

    winner 3

    Winner 4

  • First Round Voting, East Regional

    If you’ve forgotten who you are voting for, you can read all the BIOs for the EAST REGIONAL HERE. Final Day of Voting in First Round. Results tomorrow.
    NOTE: Something messed up with my youtubes, but keeping in for now. Also, DO NOT FORGET TO CLICK DONE AT END WHEN YOU VOTE.

    EAST REGIONAL

    MonkressElvington

    1) Phillip Dale “Monkeyass” Monkress

    16) Jeffrey “Don Juan” Elvington

     GomezSalsa

    8) Jesus Angel “Paintball SEAL” Gomez

    9) Michael Douglas “The one without throat cancer from Zeta Jones” Salsa

    (more…)

  • Stolen Valor First Round, South Regional Voting

    If you’ve forgotten who you are voting for, you can read all the BIOs for the SOUTH REGIONAL HERE AKA the “Sad Sacks of Shit from the South”.

    Quick note to visitors from Ranger Up or elsewhere.  We will have a different vote each day.  I post them generally around 10 AM, so keep coming back.  Whittling this thing down to one big loser will take weeks.  So vote early, vote often, and keep voting.

    Today’s musical interlude brought to you by Alien Ant Farm and their ode to Paul K. Wickre.

    Ah, what the hell, I’ll give you another one, this one dedicated to Phil Monkress.

     

    SOUTH REGIONAL

     Kenneth-Crocheronrichard-sandberg

    1) Kenneth “Ghoul” Crocheron

    16) Richard “Coke and a Smile” Sandberg

    (more…)

  • Monkress explains how he told his dad he was joining the US Navy SEALs

    First, I want to back up. Remember when this shit started and Monkress was scrubbing the internet of all US Navy SEALs references and his lawyer was stating that he never said he was? And remember the back up logic that it was someone who misinterpreted, and it wasn’t Monkress’ fault?

    Well, just watch it all.

    At 0:32 “I knew he was a Navy SEAL.”
    at 0:36 “I knew he had spent time overseas.”
    at 1:31 “He’s done secret stuff that we probably don’t want to know about.”
    at 1:38 “All those things created the person that he is today.” [Apparently she is referring to him being a lying sack of shit that earned a #1 seed in our tournament.]

    I want to make sweet, sweet monkey love to this video.

    UPDATE:

    Taking down what I had. Boeing got back to me immediately, and is researching. I feel fairly confident I will get a speedy answer. There is no need to contact them.

  • West Regional First Round

    Results from all races will be released on Friday.

    In case you’ve forgotten who to vote for here, you can read the bios at this link.

    First, our musical faire. This is from Rich Stadium in Buffalo on 4 JUL 1989. I almost lost a testicle going over this fencing so I could get front row at this show. In my defense, I had done a lot of balloons in the parking lot, and it had been a long drive from Foxboro the day before.

    And yes, I did make it to the front. I got booted from Rich Stadium about 3 years later when I smuggled my iguana (Newt Gingrich) into the show in my shirt. Large lizards and second hand pot smoke do not mix well. (pro-tip for you.)

    _______________

    LadnerUntitled

    1) Shane “High School to Panama” Ladner

    16) Jeff “Holy Moley” Burtt

    Campbellfarmer

    8) Michael “Shoulda stayed mute” Campbell

    9) Matt “Tim Poe’s Bitch” Farmer
    (more…)

  • 1 hour 20 minutes of voting left

    Go vote if you haven’t.

    I won’t release results until Friday, but I can tell you that with over 700 votes cast, the last two races are within 5 votes.