Author: TSO

In Golf they have “moving day” here at the SVT Tourney we have Staying Alive Day:

If you didn’t vote on Day 1, go back and do so. (You have until noon)

Be sure to go down and click “Done”.

OK, here we go. You will be able to vote today, tomorrow and Thursday. On Friday I will have a special video from a sockpuppet announcing the Excremental Eight. Each day I will post it anew, although without all the bios. If you know everyone already, just keep scrolling to the bottom. Don’t forget to hit the submit button.

NORTH REGIONAL:

1) Tina “Lightfoot on a heavy horse” Kersten

 

Hero doesn’t even begin to describe Tina’s war story:

“Tina was just returning from the front lines of the “Desert Storm” assault on Kuwait when the Iraqi missile struck. She and her commanding officer, Captain Richard Walker, had just parked about 60 feet from the front door of the ill-fated building and exited the vehicle when they heard a whistling sound. The missile crashed into the roof and exploded, demolishing the building and knocking them both to the ground. To Tina’s horror, she saw that Captain Walker had been cut in two by flying shrapnel; he died in her arms. Tina herself had been wounded, but she rushed into the ruined building three times to help wounded survivors escape before she lost consciousness and was Medevaced away from the carnage.”

Alas, it was all shit. There was no Captain Richard Walker killed in the rocket attack. Contra her story, Lighthorse Henry Lee here was a food service specialist, which should partially explain her girth. As should surprise no one, this chick has a hella-long arrest record.

4) John “Attorney’s fees” Giduck

 Everyone should know Giduck by now. He’s a special kinda stupid. I’m still pretty pissed that he never sued us, because this law degree ain’t paid a damn red cent so far, and I do love me some easy money. However, I do have to thank him for giving me one of my favorite court opinions of all time:

The statements by Defendant Warrington that Plaintiff Giduck was a liar, fraud, scammer and imposter because he misrepresented his credentials are not actionable. Opining that someone is a liar, a fraud or was untruthful about his or her background, is, perhaps unfortunately, a common implement in American discourse. …Defendant Niblett’s statement that Plaintiff Giduck is a “piece of shit” or, a “fool,” a “fraud,” a “poser civilian,” and a “clown” are patently Niblett’s opinion and are not actionable. If every statement along these lines formed the basis for a libel or slander case, the courts of this country would be entirely devoted to the litigation of defamation claims.

Also Giduck, you will never pull off Shipley hair, so you should give up and go with the Sinead O’Connor look.

6) Albert “Marine Special Forces Recon” Bustamente
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Will start tomorrow. Just got home, shaved off Teh Beard, and about to go to bed. But I will allow everyone to vote Tues-Fri, for the next 8 matchups. You can vote each day. I should have it up around 10am or so. Plan on going to work VERY early but have some stuff I need to knock out first.

Gettysburg was awesome, and looking through my wife’s pictures I got all fired up.

/hattip to the men and women of 1st Virginia CAV (CSA), 7th South Carolina Inf, 4th North Carolina (galvanized as blue) and the Generals that let me fight with them. And to the men of the 14th Indiana who killed me during out ill fated attempt to take the wall under Pickett. Thanks for not stepping on me, and giving me some ice.

I’m off for Gettysburg this morning. If any of you peeps (or potential litigants) are in that AO this week, you can hook up with me on my facebook page, because I will charge the iphone daily.

1) Shane Ladner
9) Matt Farmer

4) Elton Perry Hawley
5) Michael Gerold

3) Todd Michael Hamilton
11) Carroll Bryant

7) Douglas Arthur Buono
2) Danny Russell Crane

OK, so I’ve been on travel for two weeks at the Virginia and California Boys State programs. It was more intensive than I had hoped for, and my internet was absolute crap. Also, my laptop is dying, so my mouse won’t work in the USB port anymore. Which sucks.

Anyway, I entered all the posts, and hopefully Jonn or Hondo will post them, since I am headed to Gettysburg to participate in the reenactment of the 150th anniversary of said battle. Should be hella fun, despite the fact I am utterly exhausted and I don’t know how my body will deal with camp living.

Now, needless to say, internet service could suck. So I might not be on, but hopefully the posts will get put up.

In the meantime though, I give you a sock puppet with my beard and Don Shipley’s hair. It’s my way of an apology.