Author: TSO

If you are late to the show, and you need to read the bios, go HERE.

Trust me though, I’m only letting you vote today because I promised you could vote for 3 days, but only 1 vote is remotely close.

Today’s musical faire is dedicated to every wingman who ever had to jump on a grenade for his battle buddy:

BTW- I fell asleep last night after watching the John Giduck Shovel throwing video. I will not rest well again until someone splices in Star Wars kid fighting against a shovel equipped Spetsnaz/Green Beret. Dude is a classic.

Today’s Tournament is dedicated to all those out there who keep coming back to the blog despite the fact that they aren’t wanted here and continue to try to get the blog taken down.  Because, that’s easier than *NOT* clicking the link to us on their “Favorites” bar which they do all day long.

Don’t touch me please
I cannot stand the way you tease
I love you though you hurt me so
Now I’m going to pack my things and go
Touch me baby, tainted love

Voting will be today through COB Thursday evening. I will repost each day. 

NORTH Regional Championship: Gidduck v. Bustamente

4) John “Attorney’s fees” Giduck

I noticed with some interest the offer yesterday reported by Twitchy that author Brad Thor was offering to buy Zimmerman a gun. As a result, some folks were having a book burning.  If I might humbly suggest a book of Thor’s to be burned, it would be The Green Beret in You: Living with Total Commitment to Family, Career, Sports and Life.  As Thor says on his blog:

When John Giduck and Sergeant Major John “Andy” Anderson asked me to be the voice of the audio edition of The Green Beret in You: Living with Total Commitment to Family, Career, Sports and Life I was deeply honored.

This book has profoundly changed my life and its lessons continue to challenge me each day to be a better husband, father, friend, businessman, and American. As I said when I first read it, The Green Beret in You is the essential guide to true manhood. If John Wayne had left men a how-to manual, this would be it.

Delta Force Command Sergeant Major Mel Wick does an even better job of summing up the book when he says, “As Special Forces Sergeant Major John Anderson and John Giduck clearly show in this book, being a Green Beret is not just a title, it is a total commitment to living a life with integrity and honor, accepting responsibility for your own actions, accepting responsibility for your job, mission, family, children, friends and teammates. Being a Green Beret is about doing your best every day. It is a lifestyle that every American can adopt, and this book shows you how.”

Yeah, none of that is real.  Gidduck is a piece of shit, and Thor should take that nonsense down.

6) Albert “Marine Special Forces Recon” Bustamente

Watch our buddy Jaie Avila bust this Grade A assclown:

As he said, he did catch some flak. Which is why he will no doubt next be seen filing a claim for service connection for shell fragments from the VA.

 

WEST Regional Championship: Ladner v. Hamilton 

 1) Shane “High School to Panama” Ladner

I’ll grant this to Ladner though, dude knows how to fight a lost cause:

Nothing in Ladner’s files or in the Army awards branch includes a record of him receiving a Purple Heart, or any documentation proving that he’s entitled to one, officials said.

Ladner’s Texas-based attorney, John Cook, said in a statement that his client did receive the military honor and would be owed an apology when all the information comes to light.

“We’re disappointed that law enforcement authorities felt the need to arrest Shane Ladner today, especially in the manner that it happened, a traffic stop on the side of the road,” Cook said. “This arrest serves no purpose other than to continue to traumatize Shane and Meg Ladner, both of whom are still recovering from last year’s train accident.”

He’s like a King Leonidas of Retardation.  I’m afraid the DD214 will be his attorney’s Thermopylae though.

3) Todd Michael “Triple Stack Hack” Hamilton

Todd here was the President of the Shadow 6 Foundation. Some would assume that “Shadow” had some sort of special ops type feel to it, while the “6” would indicate that he was the commander. All that is true, if by “Shadow” you mean a network systems operator, and Specialists are now “6’s” in military parlance. Anyway, douchetool here hiked across Washington state with the tower of power on his shoulder (SF, Ranger and Airborne tabs) and then resorted to the lame “I did it to honor soldiers” excuse. Admittedly, he is sort of a dreamy bastard. He even had two women (one his wife) come on here and defend him. That’s what I am working towards myself, which is why my wife is in Krav Maga class right now, and then getting trained on giving insults from Jon Lovitz.

 
SOUTH Regional Championship: Crocheron v. Tesla

1) Kenneth “Ghoul” Crocheron

This continues to say it better than I could:

Colonel, Uncle Kenneth Crocheron is a FAKE. This week it was finally confirmed and proven that our former beloved family friend, Ken, has been deceiving us for the 10 yrs we’ve known him…..deceived many many more innocent family members and friends and co-workers over the last 40+ yrs. He IS NOT a Green Beret, IS NOT a COLONEL, or any other army officer. IS NOT honorable in any way, regardless of the GOOD DEEDS he may have done for our family, it was all under the guise of rescuing us and trying to impress us with his clout.

The Great James Douglas Morrison once said “No eternal reward will forgive us now for wasting the dawn.”  Crocheron feels the same way about wasting the opportunity to use a kid’s illness to try to cut a slice.  I look forward to him receiving his eternal reward.

 2) Chelle Lynne “ATC/CNO/CAP” Anderson-Tesla

Chelle here is 20 lbs and a boob job away from crossing the Vicky Mendoza Diagonal.

OK, maybe 30 pounds.

 EAST Regional Championship: Monkress v. Lewis

 

1) Phillip Dale “Monkeyass” Monkress

The only man in the field today who is going to be checking his status from a courtroom where he is enjoying the benefits of drinking and driving, Monkress is clearly a five tool player. 

Now this is a story
all about how my life
got twisted upside down
and id like to take a minute
just sit right there
I’ll tell you how I became the SEAL
of a business named APL.

OK, that doesn’t even rhyme, but I got people breathing down my neck to post this by 8:00 AM, so I challenge you to write it for him.

3) Punk “Backblast” Lewis

Fun Fact: Lewis did not win the British Open yesterday, but he has drank deeply from the Claret Jug of factual absence. 

On a patrol in Charkh District, Logar Province, Afghanistan in late August 2009 he claims he was back blasted by an RPG which caused spinal damage, PTSD, TBI and a bunch of other problems. However, there were at least 3 other Soldiers between him and the ANA firing the RPG, none of those Soldiers were injured and he himself said he was fine. He managed to get CASEVAC from Charkh all the way back to Bagram and then from there back to the states. Once in the states he continued to have different problems pop up (back injury, shoulder injury, nerve damage here or there, etc…) and finally was transferred to WTU.

FWIW, I am only about 20 strokes away from being on the tour now.  Regularly in the low 90’s. 

 

I used to get Rolling Stone until 2010, when they ran a smear piece on General McChrystal and I called and cancelled.  It’s certainly their right constitutionally speaking to write whatever they want that isn’t libelous, but then again it is my right as a consumer not to pay for it.  I thought that article went too far, and from the point of view of a guy who does embeds with the military I have to keep stressing to units that “I’m not from Rolling Stone or the New York Times, I’m here to stress the positive.”

On top of that, I am a native Massachusian.  I love my Red Sox, I love my Patriots, I love the Bruins, I love UMASS Basketball (more than my wife is comfortable with,) and I love chowder.  I even have a Boston Terrier I named Fenway.  (He’s my little black and white monster.)  So, the Rolling Stone cover sort of had a visceral reaction with me too. 

Today we have a Big Q up on the legion website (you can vote HERE) that my boss even asked me to write.  I told him that I wouldn’t, probably in a more angry tone than I should have.  The whole thing really makes me mad. 

A lot of folks will likely say that I should read the article before I cast aspersions.  Yeah, I’m not going to do that.  The article could clearly talk about what a monster this guy is (and it even says that in the title) but either way my feeling is that he shouldn’t be on the cover of something like this, certainly not in the same pose as the Doors’ Jim Morrison.  But Rolling Stone feels differently of course, as they make clear in the statement in the picture above.

Nonetheless, reaction has been swift.  Twitchy.com has been monitoring the Twitter reaction since the beginning, and has some pretty choice quotes from companies, Bostonians and other Americans disgusted by it:

Actor James Woods:  First Amendment protects Rolling Stone, but nobody had to buy that $#!^ rag. Boycott Rolling Stone. Put it out of business…

Dancing with the Stars’ Tom Bergeron:  Just saw the latest @RollingStone cover. Unbelievable. Was this instead of their Al-Qaeda swimsuit edition?

Actor Dean Cain:  I never read Rolling Stone anyway…but now?  #ZeroChance   #BostonBomber?  #MakesMeSick

David Draiman of the band Disturbed:  TO ALL OF MY COLLEAGUES AND FRIENDS IN THE INDUSTRY, PLEASE JOIN ME IN TAKING A STAND AGAINST GLORIFYING TERRORISM. #BoycottRollingStone

Actor James Van Der Beek: Rolling Stone – No matter what the content of the article might be, you DO realize your cover space is all about glorification, right?

Donnie Wahlberg of New Kids on the Block:  I’d be remiss if I didn’t express my disappointment in @rollingstone magazine’s cover. For many reasons, it just feels wrong. #BostonStrong

Singer/Songwriter Brad Paisley: I have to say, the Rolling Stone Magazine cover with the bomber is in poor taste. We shouldn’t make rock stars out of murderers.

MLB Pitcher Brad Ziegler: Never going to read Rolling Stone magazine again after this: http://fxn.ws/16J0c6V

Even Boston Mayor Menino, a man seldom noted for his great speaking ability leaped into the fray:  Your August 3 cover rewards a terrorist with celebrity treatment…To respond to you in anger is to feed into your obvious marketing strategy…The survivors of the Boston attacks deserve Rolling Stone cover stories, though I no longer feel that Rolling Stone deserves them.  (More on that at the bottom of this post.)

Meanwhile the response from retailers hasn’t been much better for Rolling Stone:

(more…)

So yes, once again the forces of evil are trying to force us off the internet. It won’t work. It did waste some of my time, and that of our legal team who had to respond to it, but it certainly won’t work. Also, it rather ruined my golf game yesterday. Actually, it helped at first (I had a drive of 280 when Jonn called with a head’s up) but then I couldn’t tone down my anger and was beaming sand wedges like 120 yards and throwing clubs.

Nonetheless, I spent the day writing a 4,453 word response today. Baldly stated, the entire document can be summed up by my second paragraph:

The Complaint represents the website hosting equivalent of a strategic lawsuit against public participation. Wickre is significantly less interested in any terms of use issues than he is in silencing free speech and veterans’ advocates operating within the law. To date, Wickre has commented no fewer than 118 times on the Blog, which is odd considering his aversion to the nature of what we write. Those 118 comments from his IP address are directly traceable to him. They do not include the numerous comments which were deleted by the authors because they contained social security numbers of bloggers, phone numbers and addresses for the bloggers and other commenters, and some indecipherable strings of letters and numbers.

The Complaint is full of obfuscation, misstatements regarding case law, and lies regarding easily verifiable facts. I will endeavor to respond to only the issues of import regarding the Complaint.

That said, if you guys could refrain from any comments that could get me in trouble for the next few days, that will suffice for my birthday gift (which you all owe me by Saturday.) So, instead of saying something about “hammer a six-inch spike through his penis” (looking at you Nik) or the therapeutic benefits of squatting on a traffic cone and then duck walking home (another classic noted in the complaint) how about blessing him with a million unicorn butterfly kisses, or a TV which receives only 180 channels of ALF reruns. Seriously, I need rest, and I can’t fight any more. Nothing that could be construed as a threat, pornographic imagery etc.

I agree with your unstated comments. Jonn agrees with them. Everyone reading this agrees. Just cut us some slack and don’t write it, at least until we get the all clear from Rackspace (which we will.) This is NOT a win for the bad guys, as I am certain their attorney spent much longer that 8 hours working on it, and costs significantly more than I charge, which is nothing. Besides, when this one gets tossed, we will be stronger even than we were before.

Jonn always ascribes the success of this blog to you guys, the readers. I agree with him of course. Collectively we have the smartest, most diligent, wise-assiest readers and commenters this side of the Mos Eisley cantina. So, use the brain and some restraint while 1SG is watching us *not* do our concurrent training tasks. Kapiche?

Also, please consider tossing Jonn a few shekels. Although the legal counsel stuff doesn’t cost him anything, server space for this house ain’t cheap.

I am taking tomorrow off to celebrate my Birthday a few days early by doing damn near nothing except playing Port Royale 3: Pirates and Merchants on XBox. It has to be the boringest game in history, which should be good for my blood pressure. SVT will resume Monday though.

BTW- Somehow we got derailed into music again, so answer me this one…the lady at 1:51, is that Susie Benjamin? Because it looks like a younger her to me.

So, the Stolen Valor Tournament quest for the Fecal Four will continue tomorrow. Yes, it should have been done today, but I was busy playing 14 hours of the boringest XBox 350 game in history yestereday (Port Royale 3). Which is awesome, because I love boring ass Sim type games. (Yes, really. Let’s me play and watch Psych marathons.) Now, I could do it today, but I an t-minus 2:45:00 from teeing off at Riverside Golf Course in scenic and lovely Indianapolis.

None the less, as recompense, I give you this….

So, two Truthers are walking along the street and BAM! A bus comes along and hits one of them. An ambulance shows up and starts transporting him to the hospital. He’s in the back, fading fast. He can see everything getting dark, then a bright light in the distance, as if at the end of a tunnel. He moves towards the light, and finds himself standing before the presence of God. Backing in the glory of the Creator, he realizes he can finally start getting some answers.

“Oh Heavenly Father,” he begins, “now that I am in your presence, I can ask you….who was really behind 9-11? Was it an Israeli False Flag op? Was it Bush, Cheney? Was it the CIA? Tell me, who?”

God looks down at him and says “It was Al Qaeda, the whole thing was planned by Bin Ladin.”

All of a sudden BUZZZZZZZ – he gets hit with the defibrillators and yanked back into the world of the living.

His buddy comes to see him in the hospital, asks him how he’s doing while he’s in recovery. He grabs him and pulls him down closer so he can whisper in his ear.

“This thing goes higher than we thought!”

I had hoped to have Socky do a video today, but I ended up watching Sharknado instead. Nonetheless….

Gidduck def. Kersten, 55.1% – 44.9%
Bustamente def. Martinez 77.7% – 22.3%
Ladner der. Gerold 78.0% – 22.0%
Hamilton def. Crane 53.5% – 46.5%
Crocheron def. Coombs 68.6% – 31.4%
Tesla def. Ferris 66.0% – 34.0%
Monkress def. Boudreau 68.0% – 32.0%
Lewis def. Blake 56.3% – 43.7%

Play resumes on Monday.

Well, here you go.

First, this blast from the past goes out to the Wickres, Witlessones and Monkresses (Monkrees?) of the world who just can’t get their shit together enough to know truth from fiction.

OK, now that we’re all feeling groovy, go vote:

Over musket fire and some sort of 175 proof “Apple Pie” stuff this weekend, BrownNeckGaitor and I started arguing about whether The Knack was a one-hit wonder. I contend that My Sharona is all they have. In fact, I would say that they were the Chumbawumba of their time. As BNG returned small arms fire and commented on the “supple buttocks” of the soldier in front of him, he took grave issue with my characterization. So, let’s settle this like real men that don’t have a Thunderdome available to them. A TAH Poll off.

First, he contends this is their better song:

I put it to you, Greg – isn’t this an indictment of our entire American society? Well, you can do whatever you want to us, but we’re not going to sit here and listen to you badmouth the United States of America. Gentlemen!

Sorry, got lost there, ok, vote: