Author: TSO

  • Is Jonn the Harriet Tubman of IVAW?

    jonntubman1

    A wise man once said:

    Ladies and gentlemen, I’ll be brief. The issue here is not whether we broke a few rules, or took a few liberties with our female party guests – we did. But you can’t hold a whole blog responsible for the behavior of a few, sick twisted individuals. For if you do, then shouldn’t we blame the whole blog system? And if the whole blog system is guilty, then isn’t this an indictment of our media institutions in general? I put it to you, readers of TAH – isn’t this an indictment of our entire American society? Well, you can do whatever you want to us, but we’re not going to sit here and listen to you badmouth the United States of America, Gentlemen.

    Now, like the Chewbacca Defense, that does not make sense. But, I report you decide:

    Is Jonn Lilyea the Harriet Tubman of the IVAW movement?

    Note: a photo credit to “my spicy little bowl of Texas chili”.

  • The Simpsons are going to Delaware!!!

    simpsons

    Well, not so much the Simpsons as TSO, and not so much Delaware as Indiana.  Seems this whole blogging thing is starting to pay off, and my employer has seen the light of day with regards to online communications.  So I am going out to our higher HQ for a few months to discuss how to get better at reaching out via this new medium.  Now, I am only telling you this because my posting over the next week as I pack all my stuff to move may be sporadic.  But after I get there you will likely see a huge up-tick.  I don’t know but maybe 3 people in Indiana, so there will be lots of posting time.

    My five year plan to find a job where I don’t ever need to get out of my pajamas is closing in on fruition.  Since I doubt I will be the next Heff, blogging seemed the way to go.

    Also, anyone wishing to do me harm, be they viking snipers or not, be advised I have a new locale.  Just email me for the address.

  • The Army Times in 10 mins or Less

    So, since my previous post regarding the WaPo Express was such an unparalleled success, I will now do round 2.

    As is my custom on pay day, wherein I celebrate the issuance of another barely earned half-pence check, I went to McCormick & Schmick’s Seafood for lunch. I go there because one of the eponymous owners is a veteran, and I do so very much like to reward my brothers and sisters who served. Well, that and their food is outstanding. Today I got the 9 ounce top sirloin with some potatoes (is there an “e” in that Mr. Quayle?) and string beans. Was solid.

    Anyway, as I sat there and watched parts of today’s Tour de France (a guilty pleasure of TSO’s) I also read through the Army Times. I do it so you don’t have to. So anyway, here in short blurbs is the news from “your army” as it says repeatedly on the inside. As is also my custom, I refused to read anything by AT Asshat Rick Maze. Now, the articles are not online as yet, so I will tell you what to read when they show up.

    Armed Robbery for Peace. This is a classic, some asshats at Ft Lewis, Rangers, rob a bank, then escape to Canada. Some of them are Canadians. Anyway, one of them shanked a dude in prison, but the article talks about their motivation. “Sommer said later in an interview with Army Times that he had done it to shed light on attrocities being committed by U.S. Troops in the war zones.” Yeah, well we all deal with it in different ways, some make up fairy tales, some throw coke parties and run for Congress, and some rob banks. Let he who is without something something throw the first something.

    Stop Eating the Uncooked Shellfish. I didn’t actually read the article, but apparently the number of cases of chlamydia is on the rise, so make sure you cook the meat first. That is how you get it, right?

    Someone Alert VoteVets. Suicides in June down to 9. Number of suicides who met the straw man argument of John Soltz from last month: zero.

    Where is the Democratic Party to the Rescue? Absentee voting numbers were hurt by errors in the mailing procedures. 46% of undeliverable returned ballots were military ones. This is completely unsat.

    Think he could take a Polish Sniper who boxes in the barrios of Milwaukee? Uber-badass and Blackfive buddy Tim Kennedy is leaving the Green Beretted Ones to go fight on his own. The military wouldn’t let him fight on active duty. Which is about the stupidest personnel decision I can ever remember. Asshats. I don’t generally watch MMA, but I will to root on another of our brothers.

    If you burned that shit, you must acquit! And epidiologist says that burn piles are bad. Count me among those that are simply stunned by this news. It’s almost like waking up and finding out that Lance Bass woke up this morning nestled up to a man.

    Dude, you should have come up with a different name. The title of the article reads: Law panel to review private sex in military. That alone was compelling enough for me to read it, and try to find out where to send my resume. Then I got to the name. The Cox Commission. Was the “boys have penises, girls have vaginas commission” name already taken?

    TSO Cheers go out to LG Rick Lynch. He makes the troops go home and not work weekends. Unsurprisingly, stress levels lower. I am all about training time, but too often I find field problems which seem to entail “CTT training” which is to say crawling into the woodline and examining the inside of my eyelids. Focus on training you need, cut out the BS you don’t, and send the troops home to be with their families. Bravo sir.

    Kill them all, let an Ornithologost sort them out. If you served in the Infantry at least, you will know about this list. Red-cockaded woodpecker. Black-capped vireo. Golden-cheeked warbler. Add in the desert tortoise that pisses itself when a track rolls by at NTC, and the Lane Mountain Milk-vetch, and you’ve got the Army’s biggest foes on military bases. Anyway, there’s an article about them in the July 20 Army Times.

    Inexplicably, there is nothing about the World’s least regarded milblogger’s Birfday which is also on the 20th. Which is why you might not hear as much out of me over the next few days. So hope you enjoyed my 5 (five? new record!) posts today.

  • Riddle me this Fatman….

    fatass1

    From the congealed mass of corpulent asshattery:

    Michael Moore’s opting to spoof romantic conventions in titling his upcoming documentary “Capitalism: A Love Story,” which addresses the causes of the global economic meltdown.

    Now, look at this:

    The film is described as focusing on “the disastrous impact that corporate dominance and out-of-control profit motives have on the lives of Americans and citizens of the world.”

    And explain to me how someone lambasting a profit margin can then turn around with this:

    Pic is Moore’s first since “Sicko” in 2007. He’s made three of the top six highest-grossing documentaries — “Fahrenheit 9/11,” “Sicko” and “Bowling for Columbine.”

    Ah, the delectable irony of a man lamenting the free market economy using his profit to bolster his bona fides. Savor it my pretties! PS, Yes, I know he didn’t write that piece, but it is the headlined article at his website, ergo it can be roughly attributed to him in part, don’t ya think?

  • Question….

     blogmapBeen playing with the blog map this morning. Interesting who is on the fringe, and who is more in the center, isn’t it Ron? Question posed to secret cabal of milbloggers via ultra-top secret emailing list: If Blackfive is a planet, say Uranus, what does that make TAH?

  • Your must-read blog posting of the day

    First a disclaimer.  I’ve actually met the Congressman that TAH reader Dave Thul discusses in this article.  I found him to be a very nice guy.  I even appeared with him at a function not very long ago, and commented that it was nice to have another enlisted guy there with me.  Which only makes this post harder to read for me.  I really hope that Congressman Walz’s staff reads the post and comments.

    And for Mr Thul, when you get a chance, look up the various media stories and lack of corrections regarding Congressman Murphy of Pennsylvania.  During the campaign I repeatedly contacted Murphy’s office and told them that this dishonorable allowance of media outlets to cite him as a combat hero with distinction was misplaced, since he was a JAG.  They never even responded to me.

  • WaPo Express News: Everything you need to know in Pictures and Pithy Comments

    My best friend Brown Neck Gaitor does his Friday Round-ups, and they’re always my favorite feature over at the House of Snipers.  (Soon to move to a new website, stay tuned.)  Anyway, each morning on the metro a rather nice fella, perhaps lacking in cognitive skills, stands in front of the station offering the paper.  I always take it, since the poor chap honestly looks downtrodden if you don’t take it.  (If you go through Huntington, you know who I am talking about.)  Today as I listened to my book on Audio Tape (The Glorious Cause) I read this thing.  And the news today is….kinda lame.  Yet, let me condensce it further for you, and include pictures. 

    (Disclaimer: I do not represent the average reader of short papers distributed at Metro Stops in the DC Metro Area.)

    q2

    Apparently Tony Romo and Jessica Simpson broke up.  He seems like a Dummy to me since Texas girls are HOT!  I’m guessing that “because she spent too much time at MENSA meetings” will not be teh root cause.

    q31

    Tonight my MLB man-crush, 42 year old knuckleballer Tim Wakefield may be pitching in the All-Star game.  If he does, I will have to turn the game off, despite my total man-love for him.  If you’ve never seen someone catch a knuckleballer who doesn’t usually catch a knuckleballer, just imagine a blind man with hooks for hands trying to juggle jello cubes.  It’s kinda like that.

    To answer your question: no, Eric Gagne (pbuh) will not be making an appearance.

    q11

    I would sooner admit to a sultry rendezvous with Senator Craig in a Minnesota Airport Bathroom Stall than tell anyone I played Quidditch.  But there are apparently a bunch of people running around with brooms between their legs chasing some other jackass with a tennis ball in a tube sock.  Carson Kressley reportedly said, “wow is that gay.”

    q5

    Men’s Health had an article about 11 hangover remedies reprinted in the Express Today.  TSO generally takes Aspirin, drinks some V8, and lays in bed crying like Nancy Kerrigan all day.  Like my TAC said at the A-stan Trainup: “That’s one technique.”

    spongebob-squarepants

    HAPPY BIRTHDAY!  Bikini Bottom’s most favored porifera/deity turns 13 today.  TSO loves him some Spongebob.  I will be enjoying a nice Crabby Patty at Five Guys today to honor this day.

    Dr. Dobson no doubt believes that Spongebob will celebrate his birthday by getting freaky with Patrick.

    q4

    I think, therefore I blog.

  • Have you ever heard of Plato, Aristotle, Socrates, Critics of TAH? Morons!

    vizzini

    Love mail from Ron:

    name = Ron War Veteran

    email = changeamerica@gmail.com

    phone = 808-xxx-1212

    comments = You’re site is disgusting and ultra-right wing. You do not represent the average Veteran, YOU DO NO REPRESENT US, YOU RIGHTWING MORON!!

    REMOTE_HOST: 72.234.202.109

    Dear Ron, are you related to Ron Burgundy?

    First off, please take the happy sock off your head and pay close attention. “You’re” is short for “you are”. So your use of it here shows me that you’re the intellectual equivalent of a box of hammered [IVAW].

    Second, I don’t ever remember saying I was the average veteran. Actually, I don’t remember anyone ever saying they were the average anything. I also don’t remember saying that I represent all veterans. I represent me. I think I represent the views of most veterans, but that is debateable I suppose. But, just for the sake of discussion, what makes you think that you represent most Veterans?

    And if most veterans in this world are taken to using incorrect homonyms and superfluous and profligate use of CAPITALIZATION and exclamation points (!!) I say, give me liberty, or give me a society without emails from retards!

    And stop that rhyming now I mean it, no, I don’t want a peanut.