It’s no secret that some men get monumentally stupid where sex is concerned. For decades, people have wondered, “Why?”
Well, I’ve finally figured that out. It’s the Left’s fault.
The Left has foisted political correctness on our society. Previously, we spoke plainly – even if that offended someone. We used words that meant what, well, the words meant.
If we were talking about a pointy-ended shovel, we called that tool by its proper name: a “spade”. The word “retarded” meant someone whose mental development fell far behind their chronological age. A street criminal could be called a “thug”, and someone who was crippled was called a “cripple” – because that’s what they were.
People were expected to know the correct meaning of words. And if the truth hurt . . . tough.
Political correctness has put an end to that. And it’s had an unfortunate side effect on males.
You see, political correctness demands the use of euphemisms for damn near anything that might possibly offend. And the chief spokesperson for the Left’s highly prolific and vocal Feminist Advisory Team has made it abundantly clear that being male – and especially anything referencing the male genitalia – has been deemed to be “most offensive”.
As a result, men have been forced to come up with a near-infinite list of euphemistic references for the penis (oh, sorry, PC Police – you probably wanted me to say “detestable man-part”) than you could shake yer a stick at. I won’t bother to list them here; I don’t have all day, and I wouldn’t be able to list all of them in any reasonable amount of time anyway.
Hell, the list of acceptable euphemisms even changes periodically. At one point, the term “dork” was an acceptable, if perhaps a bit crude, euphemism for the human male member. Now, per the PC Police, using that term is verboten – because it might offend someone who was clumsy “coordination-challenged” or “socially awkward”. Geez.
The result is predictable. When the subject turns to sex, it now takes 99+% of the capacity of the larger head just to search through the list and determine what “acceptable, politically-correct mot du jure” must be used when talking about the second head on that particular day. Folks, that doesn’t leave a helluva lot of mental capacity for either rational thought or impulse control.
So, yeah – of course men will sometimes act stupid when the subject is sex. It’s damned hard for anyone to be smart when virtually all of their mental capacity is occupied in simply determining what term for “ol’ Willie” is acceptable for use today.
I mean, really – when you can’t even call a “spade” a “spade” lest you offend someone . . . is there even a prayer that you can just call a “dong” a “dong”?
As I said above: it’s the Left’s fault.
That’s my story, and I’m sticking to it. (smile)
Comments
89 responses to “The Answer to Yet Another Age-Old Question”
Since I will be out at work at the opening of the WOT today, I hereby claim FIRST on this thread !!!
And you’re right Dave.
I mean Hondo…
Sheesh…
I’m claiming second FIRST..or SEDOND as I’m going to be in and out and will probably be late for the WOT.
You might as well.
This entire thread is dedicated to dicks, so go and figure.
I want my 5 minutes back.
I know, let’s call them tallywhackers.
Call them cunt cleavers…that’ll go over well.
I like the term “Fish Poles”
lil Jack the Ripper
Vlad the Impaler!
Womb broom.
Oh, that’ll turn a militant feminist livid. 🙂
Somebody has to clean it out for her–she’s not about to do it herself.
yeah, but smeggies make my beard frizz
“Jolly Roger.” ‘cos he’s curved like a cutlass and likes to plunder the main hold.
Or go with Chuck Berry called it.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Tr-YF_dTTZM
See my comment below to MrBill, same subject. Can’t use that one any more either due to the PC Police. (smile)
I have not stopped using some words, nor do I intend to stop. A “dork” is a dork, period. It’s even more emphatic as dorkwad.
But, Hondo, MUST you post that picture of that beached, bloated, cadaverous, humongous, hate-filled cesspool that passes for a member of the hominid species, without a spew warning?
That is SO unkind of you.
Well, based on the context I felt that a spew or eye-bleach warning was implicit.
Besides, I did link the photo vice embedding it in the article. (smile)
I fully expect Planned Parenthood to use that picture in an advertising campaign.
“Ladies, this could happen to you! Come see us about our “family planning” services–before or after”.
It’s Michael Moore in drag…
You mean “my giant blue vein diamond cutter” is no longer appropriate?
After reading Ex-PH2’s post, I looked at the photo. That fixed it.
I dunno…the guy that hits that will stand as Beast Master for a long time.
Here ya go, Beast Master striker – go for it! (smile)
http://i3.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/original/001/125/107/67f.php
http://i1.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/original/001/125/101/68d.php
(Warning: images may require eye/brain bleach.)
I’m not even gonna ask where you found those or why you have them. 🙂
The “magic” of the Internet, amigo. Ran across similar ones the other day looking for a TrigglyPuff photo to link, and a subsequent search for those took a couple of minutes. (I’ve got a fairly strong stomach regarding “teh uglee”.)
Want more? I can give you the link to the “mother lode” if you like. (smile)
I dunno if she screams during sex like she did at Ben Shapiro I might be all in.
Triggly Master!
Oh God, no.
Spandex doesn’t like, but sometimes you wish it would.
Talk about euphemisms:
Hondo says, “(I’ve got a fairly strong stomach regarding “teh uglee”.)”
What Hondo really means, “I have the world’s thickest beer goggles.”
Heh…
Ain’t enough beer in all of Germany to make that one look good, mein Freund. (smile)
You know, if someone just sprayed that bloated behemoth right in the face with aerosolized lemonade – something harmless like that – it might shut her up. On the other hand, since her piehole is open all the time, pepper spray would probably paralyzed her larynx temporarily, and no sound would come out of her.
Screw you all! Farkk those sordid swamprats.
I want reality, not that cesspit.
http://stories.barkpost.com/heartthrobs-and-hound-dogs/
No longer giant, but even bluer?
I call mine the “throbbing python of love”…
Heat seeking Moisture missle
Plagiarizing Robin Williams. You Cadd!
I loved it the first time I heard it….
So…how many of you are beating your F-5 key like it owes you money?
I’ve beaten my F5 key so often, I’m wearing progressive trifocal lenses…
Hmm, didn’t know that happened to wimmens too… learn something new every day here…
On the word “Dong”: Does this mean I can’t:
(1) Sing “The Wicked Witch is Dead”
(2) Sing ” Christmas Bells are Ringing”
(3) Ask for a Hostess Snack Cake that starts with “Ding”
(4) Imitate a Doorbell… “Ding-D–g”
Just a few.
Am crushed.
And I was just getting over not being able to sing “Meet the Flinstones” because we would have a “G-y Ole Time…”
?
No. No, it does not. Dong away, big guy.
You can’t take away “dong.” What will you be doing to that famous male porn star, Long Dong Silver? He “owns” that name.
Seems to me the term had a different definition in the RVN – something about “hanging a dong on” someone. And that predated the infamous Capt. Silver. (smile)
Yeah – I’m old enough to have served, as a youngster, with a bunch of guys who’d done tours in Vietnam.
Dong was Vietnamese paper money.
Only the North Vietnamese money was Dong. I still have one bill somewhere that was taken from a prisoner or enemy KIA. The South (RVN) used piasters, referred to as “pi.”
I guess it is all dong now.
The PC Police would like to have a word with you concerning that last comment, rgr769. (smile)
FWIW: the term “dong”, as a euphemism for the penis, is apparently a relatively new term. I once read an article – by William Safire, I think – that traced the origin of the word in that context. Apparently the earliest reference he could find was in a novel – either Hud or Shane, I think – where the one-eyed central character was bemoaning the loss of an eye and it’s effect on his prospects for future romance. An acquaintance then apparently told him (in the book), “Just tell ’em your dong growed when you lost yo’ eye.”
The term apparently gained favor afterwards, becoming part of the popular culture.
Damn, I wish I could find a copy of that article on the Internet today. It was a classic.
So does this mean I can’t call mine, “Thundaar the Disciplinarian” anymore?
Fuck you inbred ass-faced strapon wearing Andrea Dworkin wannabes. She’s roasting in hell, last time I checked. So grab a lightbulb, stick it up your tuna boxes, and lighten the fuck up!
Ironically enough, it was a certain leftist president who considered pulling out his dick in front of everyone to be an acceptable negotiation tactic.
And made Peyronie’s disease familiar to a less than enthusiastic world.
Believe that was a different Leftist president. Pretty sure it was LBJ who was known for exposing “Jumbo” to nearly everyone who visited him.
IN the case of former PFC and now POS Manning “Detachable Man- Part”.
They are definitely named properly. F.A.T. .
Anyone got some Flour, SARC is fresh out.
They can eat a bag of dicks.
well ya don’t need to be a dick about it
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UaEC-lWSlmI
Can’t use that one these days, either. The PC Police say that’s considered offensive to
ditzesmoronsbimbosstupid people“those of less than normal intelligence”.Dammit, Hondo, you’re starting to sound like my mother. ‘You can’t say that. You can say ****.’
Check the article’s tags, lass. Satire – remember? (smile)
My mother had no sense of humor, big guy.
proper nomenclature is now “bolt” in certain circles.
A popular (quite long) drinking song includes the line
“looking for a wench with a wrench, to get a hold of my ****”
Includes other stanzas, too rude for mixed company
I am still going to call mine the zipper snake, or my favorite, the Heat Seeking Moisture Missile! Sorry if that offends anyone??
Hey!!! ‘Heat-seeking missile’ was MINE!! Have you been hacking my hard drive???
“hacking my hard drive”
Now there’s a euphemism.
Dave Hardin has not yet sent me his response. Either the Russian attacked him, or he turned into a puddle on the floor.
Overwhelmed by the blue language, no doubt…
Here, take your pick from the following:
Love Muscle
Purple Helmet
Mushroom Tip
Snot Rocket
Hot Yogurt Slinger
Meat Scepter
Clam Hammer
Meat Popsicle
AIDS Basten
Crotch Vomiter
Womb Raider
Jurassic Pork
Slit-eyed Demon
Captain Winkey
Rumplewrinkleskin
There’s a start. Let me know of you need some more.
Pocket Rocket
Trouser Snake
One Eyed Wonder Worm
Diamond Cutter
Blue Veiner
Not ever, I would never think of doing such a bad thing? I have used my moisture missile for years, I think my dad came up with that story??
When I was in boot camp my nickname was “Kick Stand”.
Cool story Hansel.
The local Asian community calls me “One Hung Lo”
I’m just gonna leave this here:
https://youtu.be/NQBPgJQhQHc
There is one thing you guys should understand: the romance novel industry brings in billions of dollars every month, something on the order of $1.4 billion annually.
That cheap, trashy set of movies based on some bored, middle-aged housewife’s fantasies in novels hasn’t yet gone away. Pohrn sells, you know.
The twatwaffles who screech the loudest about this are peeved mostly because they aren’t getting any of that cash, which is their problem, not yours or mine. There is something seriously antisocial about them, and that stinking, beached carcass in Hondo’s photo is a mere symptom of it.
(I will never forgive Hondo for that.)
Ain’t my photo, Ex-PH2. I wouldn’t dare get close enough to that to touch it with . . . the late Billy Carter’s “detestable man-part”. (smile)
Oh, I’m not blaming you for the photo itself, Hondo, just for posting it. I will find a way to get even with you, if it means hunting down Jessica Rabbit for advice.
Generally I find that the men and women who scream loudest about someone else’s sins are either a) committing them privately or b) unable to commit them, generally for lack of availability (like finding someone who would DO that.)
a)80% b)20%
Its simple physiology. When I went through the altitude chamber the first time I learned my hypoxia symptoms as result of reduced oxygen to the brain.
In hindsight I had experienced similar symptoms when I had been involved romantically with an attractive female with the exception it didn’t smell of farts.
Hypoxia can occur when there are low concentrations of Oxygen in the blood or if blood flow is restricted to the brain.
Absent some sort of injury the volume of blood at any given time is finite. So when the corpus cavernosum is engorged with blood this limits the amount of blood available for the brain and the brain becomes oxygen deficient. There is only enough available blood to feed one head.
In my advanced age, I don’t know whether the fact that I have high blood pressure that forces blood to my brain or the fact that erections are less frequent but I’ve noticed I do less stupid things around women.
I told my spouse the reason these foul bitches act the way they do is because they didn’t get a date to the prom. Yes it goes back to HS for a lot of these screaming see you next tuesdays. That and no boys want to show them theirs? Oh the spouse calls his “love gun”. Amazed none of you studs do the same ?
This one time, it was so good, we named it.
Mister Happy.
First wife gave it the name “Bronco Nagurski”
“renowned for his strength and size”
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bronko_Nagurski
😉
It is clear you do not know many people on the left. Nobody gives a damn if you talk about sex or penises.
It’s clear that you’re so full of yourself that humor goes right over your head, Lars.
Yep – looks like he swallowed the baited hook yet again. (smile)
And he says he worked in intelligence. One wonders how good he could have possibly been at that job.
You could be in a room full of tits and still come out with a dick in your mouth.