Jonn had posted about Christian Gerald Desgroux here, here, and here. This guy is a gift that keeps giving.
A judge demanded to know Tuesday why a North Carolina man repeatedly used an Army general’s uniform to fool others, asking if “it was like Halloween every day,” as he sentenced him to six months’ imprisonment for an impersonation that ended with an alarming helicopter ride.
One would think he should spend more time behind bars than most of us have on any single deployment. Sad thing is it seems there are some women who would have been better off if he had deployed to the middle of some place.
But he has multiple pending charges from 2017: assault on a female (April); misuse of the 911 system and violating a domestic violence protection order (May); felony conversion (November); and interfering with emergency communications, felony fleeing to elude arrest, misuse of the 911 system and misdemeanor stalking (December).
This Judge does not seem to be impressed with Christians excuses.
That November landing at SAS Institute wasn’t the only time Desgroux pretended to be a general despite never serving in the U.S. military, prosecutor Barbara Kocher said Tuesday. She told the judge that Desgroux had convinced a now-estranged wife that he was going on fake deployments and had worn a military uniform while getting kicked out of strip clubs.
“He liked the sense of importance he gained by masquerading as a general,” Kocher said, adding that Desgroux “has used this persona for years.”
Federal sentencing guidelines called for no more than six months’ imprisonment, U.S. District Judge Terrence Boyle made clear how serious it is to impersonate a military officer.
“You can be a danger to people,” Boyle said. “What made you think you could act like a general?”
Wearing an orange jumpsuit, Desgroux apologized, saying he hadn’t realized what he was doing was illegal.
“So it was like Halloween every day of the week?” Boyle asked. “Why not wear a top hat and a tuxedo?”
The defendant then meekly added, “It was a mental issue, sir.” He said he bought the uniform from a surplus store.
I should put on my uniform and see if women swoon over me. In all honesty, I should report that my Spousal Unit seems to be immune to it all.
Comments
99 responses to “Judge humiliates Christian Gerald Desgroux, who is now wearing a perfectly legit Orange Jumpsuit.”
I’d like to see if I can still fit into my dark blues, and then see if I can get guys offering to buy me drinks and seduce me. Yeah, that takes me back – to the EM club at Great Lakes.
Where was I?
I’m in. Head of the line, boys…
GOT-DAMN-IT-SO-MUCH-SON-OF-A-BITCH.
Oh well, it’s still worth the wait.
😉
Hey! Both of you take a chill pill. Drinks are on me.
I realized the other night that because I’ve lost some weight (since I stopped wasting money on Diet Coke), my face looks like someone let the air out of it.
Now I have to choose between Pelositox or Preparation H. They both work, but one is harmless, and the other will freeze you and your brains into solid plastic.
I could try my Class A uniform on but I would look like Flounder from Animal House.
I can identify with that. I may have expanded a pound or twenty over the years…
I haven’t gotten any bigger. That government cotton-poly-wool blend shrinks while hanging in the closet! Lowest bidder strikes again.
That closet shrinkage phenomena is diabolical!
A midget (little person?) broke into my house a bit ago and replace my medium size dress greens with his.
Unfortunately, I still haven’t caught up with him.
Thats my story and I’m sticking to it.
Sooooo, if any of you ever see a small medium at large, please contact me. (grin)
Uniforms seem to always do that – *PTUI*
That means something. I know it does, but I have no idea what. First it’s Like/Dislike Buttins, and now it’s *PTUI* I don’t recognize this place anymore.
No shit, but I’m playing along for a bit…a few more OMGs or some other semi-millennial bullshit and I’m outta here
word Maybe it means Put This Upyours Idiot? Old Baby Boomer here. Seems to me, that back in the early 70s, there were very much more severe penalties for doing stupid stuff and wearing an unauthorized uniform.
ptui
(also ptooey)
exclamation
Representing the sound of a person spitting; (hence) expressing disgust or contempt: ‘Pah!’ ‘Pshaw!’.
Origin
1930s. Imitative. Compare pfui, phooey, and also ptish, pshaw, etc.
Pronunciation
ptui/p(ə)ˈtuːi//ˈtuːi/
To make it authentic, you need a redbone hound following you on the trail.
Or maybe just watch the namesake character spit tobacco juice in the eponymous 1976 movie starring Clint Eastwood. (smile)
eponymous. They are illegal to hunt, aren’t they? Or is it just the rare albino eponymous that I’m thinking of?
Eponymouses? Eponymice?
Eponymi?
I have no idea what the plural is. Bueller?
Perhaps a short consultation with your good friends Messrs. Miriam and Webster would be in order. They can probably tell you the correct plural form. (smile)
My cat does hunt the equally rare black Eponymouse, the one with the white stripe.
Problem is, she eats them and I want to stuff them and put them on a head count board.
*GRRRRR*
Check.
Flounder would have been hot completely naked except for some sockless Chuck Taylor Converse high tops, pom poms and a backwards jock strap…er, oops…wrong forum
Don’t forget the pledge pin.
A few years ago( about 5 years after I retired) I was involved in a test program where we were doing ramp and flight testing onboard a C-130 aircraft.
I went into the back of my closet and got one of my old flight suits that had been hanging there.
I learned if you don’t periodically expose nomex to light, it shrinks something terrible in the dark. They need to add that fact to the don’t use chlorine bleach warning label.
I’ve decided to test a new camo pattern for the Navy. It has a neon pink background with Hello Kitty all over it.
I found the stuff online, including Hello Kitty in a chevron pattern, and it’s simple to run up a pair of pants lined with thermal fabric (for winter warmth) and a BUD-type of shirt (not BDU) with big pochettes for storing stuff like guns ‘n’ ammmo.
Best part of all: cats are color blind in the red spectrum, so the lions and cougars will never see me.
I’m not sure if the Navy will buy it, but I guarantee MRS D will!
Are you kidding? It’s been a few months since they changed patterns, of course they’ll buy it!
After finishing basic at a svelt 170 lbs I was able to work my way up to about 225 by ETS, three years later. I really did have to purchase a new Class A uniform before the end. As it were, that last uniform would fit pretty well, 40+ years later.
If a woman ever gave me a second glance, while in uniform, I never saw it! OTOH, there very definitely were some Class A cuties in uniform.
What did the Colonel say? “Finger licking good?”
I wasn’t sure if I was supposed to “like” your comment, or slide right
I would make a very unflattering and be an insult to airman past & present these days, 1st I am 38 years older and flabbier than the 25yrs old(I’m 63yrs old) I discharged at and about 25lbs heavier and I also have a full trimmed beard and shoulder length hair, yes it still grows and is still fairly well filled in(lucky me). I would be an insult to my Air Force dress blues at this time of my life so why would I bother to put them on…nostalgia ? , all that would do is make buttons pop off like in a cartoon, that’s if I could get them even buttoned up and the pants didn’t choke the life out of me from the waste. I never understood why anyone after they left their respective service would put on the uniform again and parade around pretending they’re still in, worse yet if they put a uniform on and never served, phuck them pukes with a barbed baseball bat right up the keester.
“What made you think you could act like a general?”
What do you mean think, your honor? He did.
(Man, that was too easy.)
2/17 AC; He can act as a general. That is a “General Disaster”
Some generals are good generals and some generals are brown nosing political assholes and just plain suck, I think he was going for emulating the political asshole type.
Because, your honor, someone already rented the Superman costume.
And someone else was trying on the Bozo the Clown costume
…and there wasn’t a tutu available.
Hope he enjoys his orange uniform. Perhaps Jimmy “left ball loooow” Walls will offer to be his pen pal.
I believe that this buffoon deserves a good old-fashioned ex-OS2 run in on the target.
Bring it danger close; expend all on your first pass.
Cleared hot.
Xyecoc!
KA-BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!!!
Shack!
I have gotten shorter but am pretty much the same weight as I was since I was 17. Of course, what once was muscle is pretty much fatty shit now. The kicker came a few years ago when I looked at a pic that my wife had just taken of me. Somehow, despite seeing myself in the mirror every day, I never noticed how freakin’ old I had gotten. That pic, though, that pic told no lie. I was suddenly old.
If you look up stupid in the dictionary, his picture is there “I didn’t know it was illegal”! lol
I wonder who Bubba & Thor will marry him off to after they bust his cherry?
He’ll be on the receiving end of some general discharge.
* Golf Clap *
well played, sir
Possibly a dishonorable discharge.
I’m sure it will be dangerously cheesy!
Hope he likes fromunda.
The dowry will be one pack of smokes
If his cherry hasn’t been popped, he might fetch a carton of cigarettes and some Ramen from the commissary along with the winner’s desserts for a week!
I got $20 that it’s Mr. “Tiny”…. everybody in the hole “loves” Mr. “Tiny”
What is felony conversion? Never heard of that before. The Halloween Every Day comment from the judge was perfect.
Conversion occurs when you take someone else’s property and convert it to your own use. A weird way of saying theft, in other words.
In NC, felony conversion occurs when a person is entrusted with the property of another, the property’s value is at least $400, and the person converts the property for his own use. In other words, the owner allows the entrusted person to have it, wiping out an element of larceny. Example: Tenant willingly gives a $1200 security deposit to a landlord. Landlord takes it, phones Fast Freddie, his bookie, and let’s it ride on the five horse in the 6th at Santa Anita. Oops. Doesn’t matter whether the nag lost or won by 10 lengths. That’s felony conversion in North Carolina.
In Alabama, felony conversion is leaving the Baptist church and becoming a Muslim. It’s only a misdemeanor to join any other church.
Damn. I didn’t mean to single out Alabama. So….in CT, Mass, NYC, among other places, felony conversion occurs when one ceases, openly or secretly, to hate President Trump after previously declaring hatred for him. Such a person–and his family– may be bullied, beaten, and their property destroyed.
As a CT resident I approve of this message.
Damned RESIST/AntiFa/Feminazi/Commie shitheads are everywhere.
If you come to CT and have a MAGA sticker on your vehicle, or wear Grunt Style, have ever lifted a weight and eat red meat, I HIGHLY recommend 3-5 second rushing in public.
I remember during my days as a Trucker when I wrote “Bush-Cheney 2000” on the back of the trailer I was pulling and I had little old Ladies flipping me the bird in the PRoMA as well as other NE States!
I thought it was what Bruce Jenner did
Actually it’s what Kris Kardashian did when she ripped Bruce’s balls off, which is why he became Caitlyn.
I ‘like’ the Like buttons.
I’m hoping we get to vote on that, but I am fearful of Russian meddling.
Will we need ID to vote?
This comment needs a HAHAHAHA button…
We simply correct and do not “meddle”…that’s so Cold War bourgeois of you
Just wait until the admin collects enough data to figure out who “likes” who….
I’d try to throw them off by “not liking” my own posts, but then I’m afraid they’d send the cops to my house to check my welfare.
Oh lookie! Someone did not like my comment. That’s okay. I have thick skin. (Whistle…whistle…whistle) Okay you mf’er! If I ever find out who you are I’ll lop your junk off and shove it down…I think I’m taking it well, don’t you?
HAHAHAHAHA, only I know who they are…but I can be bought !!!
I’m on ‘private mode’ on the iFone. If I leave a page and go back to it later I can double like a post.
Jus’sayin.
Makers Mark or Glen?
Where’s my glass?
Speyside’s best: 30 year old Glenfarclas:
https://www.masterofmalt.com/whiskies/glenfarclas/glenfarclas-30-year-old-whisky/
Are you really, really sure that’s a big enough pic???
Not really. Per another recent article, Marines excel at binge drinking, remember? (smile)
The 101st AB strikes again!! LMAO.
I for one liked your comment, 2/17.
Now…if we could be notified, if we choose, to receive notifications via email that someone replied to a posted comment – that would be good a good thing. IMHO.
LI: I would like yours for liking mine but I don’t button.
Understood and no problem! Take care of yourself.
This is This Ain’t Hell not f’ing Burger King…
But I agree.
Tangent: if we can monetize these ‘likes’ we can create options then manipulate markets by selling credit default swaps to sell off the bad ‘like’ assets.
Genius.
I envision a dating option like e-charmony. Pay a fee to see who likey long time.
Sort of like carbon credits
Now there’s an idea…
It was probably he who shall not be named.
Not me, I don’t have fingers for a key board
Well cooked I’d say
???????
The cops checked; you are still on welfare ?
Women don’t always swoon over a man in uniform. Walk into a night club in a Taco Bell uniform, and you’re going to be walking out of that club with your feelings hurt.
Unless u stuff a chimichanga into your pants
“Is that a chalupa in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me?”
You’d likely get slapped like the Dwarf who said “Gee, your hair smells terrific!” to the Cute Babe he just came across!
That’s just as good as saying “HEY, how about some pizza and sex after that?” and as soon as you get slapped you say “Okay, forget about the pizza, let’s go straight to sex!” and *SLAP!* number two!!
“Would you like to sniff my frijole, senor?”
Next time, put the burrito in the FRONT of your pants!
Bwahahahahahahahahaha.
*chuckle*
Judge Boyle cracks me up. Good job sir.
I’m still debating if this cheesedick should get 3 years (one year for each star) or 8 years (one year for each officer pay grade, O-8).
I don’t know any specifics, but I know this has a very rich rye flavor. That coupled with a low price makes this my go-to for an Old Fashioned.
spam alert.
Definitely a spammer, so the Whiz Wheel™® gave the sign-in handle a spin and came up with a score of 250.
If there ever was a time to hit the “report comment” button, it’s now.