According to KOMONews, an unnamed 24-year-old homeless man in Washington State stole a Humvee from the Washington Army National Guard armory in Pasco. Then he drove it to the Army’s Yakima Training Center. He admitted his crime to gate guards and informed them that he wanted to join the Army;
The man was arrested for investigation of burglary, auto theft and malicious mischief.
He had been staying at the Tri-City Union Gospel Mission before the incident. He has now landed in the Franklin County Corrections Center.
I guess the recruiters were all closed. They really missed the boat on this recruit.
Thanks to Jim for the link.
Comments
73 responses to “Homeless man steals Humvee to join the Army”
Methinks he would require the Mother of All Mental Health Wavers.
A+ for effort though!!
Heās nothing if not original!
Agree, especially if you have ever been to Yakima.
Now if he declared himself to be “trans,” it would make getting that waiver a lot easier…
https://media.giphy.com/media/OAedhzsjyovsY/giphy-facebook_s.jpg
Hey homeless guy, quit watching the Dirty Dozen.
Don’t need it,
Can’t use it,
Don’t want it.
Great… now I want to watch that this weekend… gracias š
That is one *FINE ass* piece of equipment in the photo above.
I mean A # 1.
FTFA ” Police say he managed to start the vehicle and crash it through the gate.”
Maybe if good ole’ ChipNASA had any reading comprehension.
/*punches myself in the throat*
I guess you’ve never seen a Gamma Goat.
Few have seen one but many have heard one.
As once again I wipe coffee off my monitor. (how about a spew alert next time Cav?)
gamma goat…the only vehicle you smell before you hear and hear before you see….
Ahhh, the M561 Gamma Goat. It is right up there in my memory as the M274 Mule, which although quieter, was less useful. It would bog down hauling Major Tammy Feliciano.
Hell, an M1A1 would probably bog down trying to haul Major Tammy.
As an 11 Charlie mortarman in the CSC four-deuce platoon of a leg infantry battalion, the gama goat was our primary weapons carrier and means of mobility in the field. It was loud, stinky, and slow, but the articulated truck bed provided a useful place to sack-in on rainy stormy nights out in the field during FTXs…
BTW, the goat happens to be Claw’s “favorite” vehicle. I’m sure he will provide his opinions on the goat as soon as he sees this post…
Yeah, it’s my favorite vehicle all right.
I spent over 10 years in three different Vulcan Air Defense Artillery outfits ordering parts for those POS vehicles and probably used up a gozillion Skilcraft black ink pens filling out requisition forms and trying to keep up with the five page deadline report.
Thanks for the reminder./smile
One Older Vet told me his favorite picture of a Gama Goat was one that was completely disassembled.
11C for life! 81mm.
There’s an ASVAB waiver in every Platoon. If you don’t know who your’s is, it’s probably you…or this guy.
Originally took the ASVAB with an Army recruiter. He brought me and this other kid down to MEPS. I breezed thru it and met up with the recruiter for coffee while we waited for the other kid. I felt so horrible telling that kid my score after I found out he didn’t score well enough to even enlist.
I met a guy in the late ’80’s that had just finished failing the ASVAB for the third time…only person I ever met that had actually failed it.
I took the ASVAB with a cheap tequila hangover and still passed it with flying colors. Nine years later, I took it after a sweaty ballbuster of a hard workday and did it again, I fail to see how someone who fails that can even remember how to breathe!
The Vietnam era counterpart to the ASVAB is the AFQT. Only fellow I knew who failed the AFQT was made to take it over. He scored something like 18. Statistically, if you just randomly picked answers, you should get near 25; 18 took a deliberate effort. Meaning, the idiot was much smarter than the score seemed to indicate.
Glad he wasn’t into tanks.
11 Nov 1987, Zero Dark Thirty. Private Joe Snuffy and his ex-Army buddy Private Dumb Ass steal a M109 Howitzer from the 1/29 FA motor pool on Fort Carson and drive it almost to Denver before it breaks down because they want to “Go To War.”
Real Deal – No Shit. Look it up, Googly Interwebz still has the story.
And there was that guy in Cali who stole a tank and went on an epic rampage running from the police. Early 90s if I remember my “Wildest Police Chases” watching days.
Yes He was high as a giraffe’s pussy ( meth). He had been an Army tanker. Just climbed a n NG fence, cut the lock on the hatch, climbed in and fired that M-60 on up. Smashed a couple of cars parked on the street and got stuck on the median barrier of the 163 when he tried to cross over.
Cop shot his ass.
This one?.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XnUoUKEIGoo
There was also an incident in Germany where, of course, all vehicles carried their basic load of ammo, etc. in case the balloon went up. I am pretty sure I have seen a video of that incident, but I can’t find it.
https://www.upi.com/Archives/1982/07/11/Recover-body-of-GI-and-stolen-tank/2028395208000/
I remember watching the whole thing on tv when I was at Pendleton. Almost forgot about it…
Good lord…..I remember that incident; Happened just months before I arrived on the banana belt….It was the talked about incident for the better part of a year.
Hawaii 87/88. A Cpl and a LCpl take an AAV one night, crash through the Kailua gate and head up the Pali before getting it stuck on the side of the road.
LMAO!!!!! I know the full timers over there and have been giving them some crap about this. š Too funny. The Union Gospel Mission is about a block away from the Armory (pardon my archaic terminology).
It is also across the street from the Pasco Police Training Center, I wonder if they had already turned him down?
Ouch RGR! Pasco PD has kind of had a rough couple of years.
Hmmm you don’t think the guy was really looking for the Salvation Army office do you? Since its down there as well…
If this guy represents the local dumbasses, then I can understand why PPD has had a rough couple of years.
The homeless guy probably just heard of the Army’s new tranny surgery and gendering transition therapy program and wants to get in on that action…
Sad thing he probably did this for a place to stay for the night not named Union Gospel Mission.
Either way, epic fail.
“Sign here, press hard, 6 copies.”
Sounds like he’s no longer homeless.
Well, I’m thinking that one Armory CO “has some ‘splainin’ to do”.
Having one of your vehicles stolen out of your Armory by a homeless guy doesn’t exactly sound “career-enhancing”.
on the contrary…a solid above center mass performance by an officer truly helping his or her community.
Promote to TAG immediately
They’ll go for the person assigned the vehicle, beginning with the question “Why wasn’t the steering wheel chained?” – probably a sacrificial E-4/5.
As well as a Statement of Charges for the missing chock block and drip pan.
I predict many fun hours of mandatory refresher training – some bright bulb will also throw in “Hey, while we’re at it let’s do some PMCS on all vehicles and oil analysis!”
Hey, they signed Bergdahl up so how could they go wrong with this guy? At least he showed initiative and motivation.
He went full rutabaga X3!!!
The very definition of “You’re doing it wrong”
Fuck, sign him up! He’s done a damn sight more than some of our POSers…. ?
He can actually say, “I almost joined.”
Mad props to this guy. Like you said, at least he tried.
He can honestly say āI never joined, but I drove an Army Truck once.ā
HEY, come to think of it, he might be our first bogus 88M!
How can you be homeless at 24?
Yeah, at that age don’t they claim they are in between jobs… and in between houses?
His parents kicked him out at 23.
Simple.
I wonder if his story fell apart when they wanted to check his military DL and see if he was certified for HUMVEE operation. He probably forgot to do his pre-trip too.
Probably so. Doesn’t seem like he had a ground guide or a reflective belt.
Cheers,
MrFace
He probably didnāt even pick up the chock block and drip pan before he took off!
He was officially fucked when they found out that he was licensed on M1114, not M998.
And I bet he didn’t have a fucking dispatch either. Or BII.
Do they still have logbooks for all vehicles? I wonder what the entry for that trip would be?
trip = LSD
Guess we should be grateful he didn’t want to be in USAF.
1986 a Lcpl from Miramar who was a mechanic, stole an A4M Skyhawk and flew it around for a bit.
Haha! Now that guy is my hero.
Last year a soldier bought a fire truck for like $3500 and drove it back to post. parked it in the POV lot.
I wish I would have thought of that.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6qAv3LHTVRY
That is awesome. He even got hoses plus a deluge gun! Those are ridiculously fun.
I heard the same story back in 86, but the version I heard was it happened at Pendleton….
This is funny:
I had to ride my bicycle from Demarest to Hackensack about 10 times (to and fro) before the recruiter said, āthis kid is seriousā.
āOle school.
That right there is drive and initiative. Big Army is losing a good one
“…..admitted his crime to gate guards and informed them that he wanted to join the Army”
I guess he was unaware that there are recruiting stations even in loony Washington State
Gee, all I had to do was bat my eyes and show the recruiter my driver’s license.
You probably didn’t actually have to show him your license. I saw that picture of you. I figure you had him at “bat your eyes.”
Issue this man a uniform and move out.
I would take ten like him.
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