Charles Edwin Abrams; phony SEAL sentenced

Charles Edwin Abrams

The Charlotte Observer reports that this fellow Charles Edwin Abrams, AKA Charles Edwin Klutz and Charles Edwin Donovan claimed to be a Navy SEAL, a former police officer with Gastonia and Charlotte-Mecklenburg Police Departments and a former Special Agent with the FBI while engaging in a phony bond scheme;

Charles Edwin Abrams…was sentenced to two years and six months for promoting an investment scheme known as the Mexican “Pink Lady” Bonds, U.S. Attorney Jill Rose said Tuesday.

Senior U.S. District Judge Graham Mullen also ordered Abrams to pay $828,284 in restitution to his victims and to undergo mental health treatment.

Two and a half years is quite a bit less than the twenty years he was facing, the sentence predicted by the Justice Department when his accomplice, Mark Burgin, pleaded guilty in November 2014.

According to the Observer, Abrams never served a day in the military.

Comments

24 responses to “Charles Edwin Abrams; phony SEAL sentenced”

  1. HMCS(FMF) ret

    30 months of cockmeat sammiches and tubesteak… all “hot and fresh”, courtesy of the TBJT Deli!

    Enjoy your time in prison, bytch…

    1. A Proud Infidel®™

      May hr hear the words “BEND OVER AND PICK UP THE SOAP, BITCH” every day of his sentence.

      1. 1610desig

        He should be issued a defective soap on a rope yoyo…real crowd pleaser/teaser in the cell block until the soap suddenly detaches from the string….then it’s, ahem, the Ben Dover hour…

    2. desert

      Give him the 20 years!!

  2. Graybeard

    So he’s mentally disturbed by the court’s findings?

    I think the same can be said of all the posers we see here.

    “Dude, you gotta be crazy to claim that when the real-deal could whup your a$$ before breakfast without breaking a sweat.”

  3. OldManchu

    He is so going to break out of prison using some chapstick and toe cheese. Just yall wait….

    1. 1610desig

      Two of the many ingredients he will have lodged deep in his bung hole after shower hour

  4. ChipNASA

    Senior U.S. District Judge Graham Mullen also ordered Abrams to pay $828,284 in restitution to his victims.

    = $8.28

    /if that.

    1. Graybeard

      If Abrams had done me out of more than that, I think I’d come looking for an interest payment due in 2 years 7 months…

      A very high interest payment. He’d druther spend more time in the slammer.

  5. ex-OS2

    Cocksucker.

    1. Holden Magroin

      Things not to think about when sucking prison cock

      “’Party in my mouth’. ‘Everyone is coming.’ Hardy har har, What, are we in high school again?!?”

      Holden

  6. I want to know how he gets out of a 20-year sentence when he’s shown that he can’t be trusted.

    1. Graybeard

      Probably invoking mental health issues, I’d guess.

  7. Combat Historian

    A phony SEAL fraud, a crazy bitchbezzler, and a would-be ARNG jihadi mass-murderer…what a Wednesday we’re having here…

  8. jarhead

    So the court orders him to undergo mental health treatment when he gets out????? Guess who is going to foot the bill for that? Not a damned thing can be done to alter his behavior, now or then…..short of a lobotomy or shock treatment.
    My hope is he will NEED sphincter muscle repair when he gets out. By then he will be a sore loser.

  9. Silentium Est Aureum

    Pink Lady Bonds?

    Did this not arouse any frigging suspicion? Yup, people are stupid and greedy.

    1. jarhead

      S E A….Not even the Ponzi Enrichment Plan would wake up the greedy. Offer them something for free, or make it sound like they’ll get RICH by investing, and they’ll give you everything down to their last set of underwear. Purple People Eater Bonds would have sounded less suspicious. Or how about Red On the Head Like A Dik On A Broke Dik Dog Get Rich Quick Program. Can’t imagine anyone passing up such a great sounding scheme.
      Bound to be many more creative ideas out there.

  10. PhukYoCouch

    Charles Edwin Klutz

    Klutz. Nuff said.

  11. Green Thumb

    Felon.

    1. Hondo

      Please, GT. The “accepted” term now is “individual who was incarcerated” – or some such ridiculous sh!t.

      I wish I was kidding.

      http://www.foxnews.com/us/2016/05/09/doj-to-nix-felon-convict-terms-deemed-stigmatizing.html

      1. Graybeard

        Where I work the correct term is now “offender” – not “inmate” or “convict”, those are demeaning I guess.

        1. AW1Ed

          I suppose “POS criminal scum” is right out, then?

          Pity.

          1. Graybeard

            Out of the “official” vocab, at least.

            At one time – the inmates themselves would correct a new boss if he used the wrong term. A “convict” was a long-timer who usually had learned how to stay out of trouble and do his/her time, and inmate was a short-sentence (usually 1st offense) who may or may not know how to behave.

            Believe it or not – the highest suicide rates are among the young, short-sentence, 1st-timers. The poor kids don’t know how to make it through it when life doesn’t go the way they wanted it to. But for those who survive it Texas has the lowest recidivism rates in the US – we often are able to convert a convict offender into a tax-payer. A win for all.

      2. jarhead

        Unbelievable! What’s next…the Buttfckrs For Heavenly Anal Society. Membership initiation includes picking up the soap (if you can find it) naked in a dark room.