Today is Memorial Day. Well, this is my Memorial Day article.
It’s probably somewhat different than the norm. Maybe you’ll read it and think this is appropriate for today; maybe you’ll think I’m out to lunch. Or maybe you’ll think I might be both.
Here goes anyway.
. . .
Jonn wrote an article some time back regarding the now commonly-used phrase, “Thank you for your service” – and how it rubs some people the wrong way. Poetrooper followed up a couple of days later with his own article. Both made the point that this pop-culture phrase which is popular today beats the heck out of what we saw some decades ago.
Yeah, I’ve heard that phrase directed towards me a few times. And what Jonn and Poetrooper say is certainly true. It’s far better than being cursed (or worse), being treated like a leper, or being treated shabbily in those multitude of other ways those returning from Vietnam had to endure.
But I guess you can count me among the curmudgeonly group. Having someone tell me that bothers me a bit.
I guess it’s because I find being thanked by complete strangers for doing nothing more than what I signed up to do . . . somewhat embarrassing. It grates.
I chose to serve. I knew what I was doing; my eyes were wide open at the time. I was fortunate enough to end my service mostly intact – unlike those we remember today.
To one extent or another, everyone who served has a variant of this story. Even those who were draftees had options: resisting, leaving, falsely claiming to be a “conscientious objector”, or outright refusal – though most would call such acts dishonorable.
And yet with rare exceptions those who were drafted served. They too answered when the nation called.
It’s called “doing one’s duty”. Being thanked for that by a stranger just strikes me as being out of place. YMMV.
Remembering and honoring those who didn’t come home? Different story. That’s proper – and necessary.
. . .
Nonetheless, for whatever reason some people apparently have a need to thank vets and/or serving members of the military they barely know for serving. Its a free country, so I guess they can if they like.
But as far as I’m concerned, here’s how they could better do that. It doesn’t require saying a word.
• Be a productive member of society. Raise your kids to be productive members of society also.
• Be honest and trustworthy; pay your debts; have a sense of civic duty, and of honor. Do the best you can to raise your kids to be the same.
• Be self-reliant; take care of yourself and your family. Raise your kids to be self-reliant as well.
• Help others in need, but in a way that doesn’t make them permanently dependent. Give helping hands – not handouts. Teach this to your children by example.
• Finally, and perhaps most importantly: love and respect this nation. Raise your kids to do the same. And encourage them to serve the common good – in some capacity, as a civilian or in uniform – for at least a part of their life. Each of us owes this nation that much for the incredible privilege of being born free citizens. That freedom alone is worth more than any of us can possibly repay.
If someone does those things . . . well, as far as I’m concerned, that’s the best thanks. It’s far preferable to some halfhearted, mumbled platitude from a stranger.
I’d say doing that is also a fitting tribute to our fallen, too. Because I’m convinced that if enough people do those things, the nation our fallen died defending will endure long after we’re all gone.
And that . . . matters.
. . .
Even so: some people nonetheless apparently still have a burning need to tell somebody, “Thank you for your service”. So, let me suggest a way that anyone who feels such a need can do so that’s IMO more apropos than offering some vet or serving member of the military they barely know or just met – a halfhearted and trite platitude.
More precisely, let me suggest two possible ways.
• Option One: find a local cemetery, preferably one that’s not maintained by a well-funded government, religious, or private entity. Visit it; find the graves of some vets who are buried there.
In mid-May of each year, set aside a few dollars. Use that cash to get a small US flag or two, and maybe also the same number of small artificial wreaths or bouquets.
On the last Monday in May, go to that cemetery and look for a veteran’s grave bereft of flag or flowers. If you find one that’s bare, place your flag and flowers on that grave.
Then mentally tell the soul/memory of the man or woman buried there, “Thanks.” And if so inclined, say a prayer to the Almighty for his or her soul.
If all of the vets’ graves are properly remembered, that’s great. Keep the flag and flowers for the following year. Or go to a different cemetery and do the above.
If for some reason May is a NO GO, then perhaps do it on the 11th of November instead. That’s also acceptable.
• Option Two: on that same Monday – or, alternately, on the 11th of November if schedule makes late May a NO GO – go spend some time visiting with an aged vet at a local nursing home or a VA hospital/other care facility. On that day, he or she will probably be feeling both their years and somewhat down; it’s also entirely possible they’ve outlived their family. They just might enjoy some company.
If someone really want to say “thanks” – make one of these an annual event. Get someone else to join in doing the same. Begin a chain, then keep it going.
Why? Because those vets now in their twilight years served well before most living today were old enough. They deserve – and in some cases, need – thanks far more than most. Maybe thanking them would be a more apropos way to show gratitude than some trite platitude offered to an individual barely known or just met.
Doing either those things would also IMO be a fine way to remember our fallen, too. Because without their efforts and sacrifice – along with the service of those aged vets now in their twilight years – we might not have very much today worth celebrating.
. . .
Just my $0.02 worth, and YMMV. I’m guessing for some reading this it does.
I’m fine with that. It’s still a free country.
Anyway: I hope everyone reading this enjoys their holiday today. But while you’re out and about – or are at your home, or the home of friends or family – please take a moment to remember the reason behind today’s holiday.
So long as we remember them, they’re not completely gone.
