Category: Tuesdays with Claymore

Writing the narrative, one DUmbass at a time.

“Sinister” behavior.

…so why even bother to vote?

Shooting blanks.

What a lovely couple…

Leftists want to know where all of this incivility came from…must be those racist repukes fault.

The dead horse…she has been beaten yet again.

Candy redistribution scheme.

Locked because it was loaded.

The “mystery” of Benghazi…sort of like the mystery of why Michael Moore is fat, but with less accuracy.

The Specter of feigning outrage.

Too skeer’d to show their real self.

“Did someone mention a lock box?”

Maps don’t lie.

So basically all you care about is how well Obama looks?

“If Romney wins, we know they cheated.”

The requisite “what will you do if Mitt wins” thread.

Well there’s two words you wouldn’t use much.

Free speech for me, but not for thee.

Fauxcahontas have heap big wampum!

“Settle down, Beavis.”

Oh, well if a bunch of vapid little rich actresses say it’s so, I have to believe it.

Foil Hat Alert: Maybe Republicans hired Blackwater to kill our ambassador to make Obama look bad!!

Yard trash

…the horror…the virtual horror.

The King of Drag Racing

Oh, so NOW you’re worried about poll sampling

Hugo’s allies

If at first you don’t secede…

Putting Suicide Hotline on speed dial

Facebook…where Twitter DUmbasses go for relief

There’s something running down his leg, but it’s not a tingle.

Wait…there’s still a Doonesbury?

Paging Alex Jones….

Yeah, good thing the left doesn’t have a bunch of talking points like the right does.

Pfft…as if government workers are going to reduce the number of days off they have?

Desperation? I don’t think you understand the word.

What, are you his golf caddy?

Family Feud

ex-aide to Powell says Romney scares him…on MSNBC nonetheless!

Wonkette…classy.

Paul Ryan beats up old people and makes them eat cat food.

Isn’t it really just ‘yard sign redistribution’?

Stupid old people…why can’t they just vote for Obama and shut up?

“Our” wealth? “Ours”? But don’t call them socialists.

DUtards fear a global depression…but still think collectivist governments are cool.

Online taxes…freeloaders.

Barry fiddled while Benghazi burned.

“Dear lefty pussies, stop being pussies.”

In 1492, Columbus was a douche.

…more “tinkle” down the leg.

Pretend life long conservatives always vote for Obama after being exposed to their co-worker’s “truth”.

Old rich people should just pay their Social Security, not draw any out and shut up.

Whoa…even I can’t think of anything clever to put to this bullshit.

DUmbass needs “help” countering “lies” about Obama’s record on vets….maybe we should help him?

Living in a New England bubble.

Do unto others

Are you smarter than a 3rd grader?

Digging up acorns.

…it’s right next to the part about abortion.

2+2= Zero

Even Satan can quote the Bible.

As opposed to an outright assault on the Constitution by the left?

Don’t confuse me with facts.

Arab sprung

And yet they accuse conservatives of cheating.

Pretend Republicans always put up Obama yard signs when shown the error of their ways.

Giant loser

Yellow and red make green on blue

Doing it for the children

Pollish

War on men

Classy

Iceland…that’s the example you want to roll with?

Government jobs don’t count

Liberal media won’t show Spanish anti-govt rebellion…freakin’ conservatives.

Wait, I don’t see gay marriage or immigration on that list.

Sound bite strategery

Maybe Rachel needs a pay cut…you know, spread it around.

Listening to Biden is torture enough

And yet, still nothing on Fast & Furious.

Avast! Me ship has sprung a wikileaks and she be sinkin’!

I wonder how happy they’ll be when one of these illegals kills someone in a car accident and skips off to Mexico.

Debatable Fauxcahontas

In essence, Lockheed-Martin got the Chicago treatment.

DU as a clearing house for idiotic Twitter posts…sort of like Dumb & Dumber without Jim Carrey. Or jokes.

Wookie Cookies

Democratic poll has Democrat winning…no shit?

No Love for Mia

Trick or Treat!

Stupid ignorant racists don’t know what’s good for them

Frackin’ idiots

Forward march

“…oh, did I mention they hate black people?”

Who watches the watchers?

Brain drone

Stupid rich people

Mailing it in

This could be the most retarded thread ever seen on DU….no kidding.

Romney the tax criminal

Pure genius. No really. Ok, not really.

If you don’t like the game, change the rules

Defending Israel = bigotry

Dems win, Republicans steal

Late night retarderation

Translation: Where’s all the free shit I was promised?

Pretend Republicans always love guns but hate Dinesh D’Souza and end up voting for Obama.

Bloody flag on the play

And here’s a collective ‘duh’ for your efforts.

…I don’t think that word means what you think it means.

Fauxcahontas speak with forked tongue.

Maybe it was a rap star?

Confusing anger with hate.

Losertarians

Messin’ with Rasmussen

Blame Jesus

Iranian women’s rights? That makes as much sense as airplanes with windows that roll down.

Save your Confederate dollars, boys!

Eating their own.

Crappy economy is Republican’s fault.

DUers can add and shit.

Nerdy white male virgins who play ‘World Of Warcraft’ and dress up like Mr. Spock for Obama.

Pretend global warming skeptics are always morons who hate science.

What makes this so funny is just how serious this DUmbass tries to sound. Print it out and enjoy it in the bathroom with your morning constitutional…it’s better than Exlax.

So Romney’s “47%” recording is the big news of the day over in DUmmyland…for me, I don’t see the big flippin’ deal. In essence, those in Obama’s camp will act shocked and horrified over this “revelation” (which is mostly true) and it affirms what the bulk of Romney supporters already believe anyway. In essence, everyone seems to think that saying what is basically true (that a significant portion of the country is either benefiting from, or desiring something from the government) will kill Romney’s chances for election. I think you’ll see people (even myself) admit that we’re getting perks from nanny government even as others try to justify their handouts as part of what government is supposed to do for its people. Will it sink Mitt? Don’t know. Will it change minds? Perhaps the candyasses in the venerated “middle”. In any case, I’ll try to mix in the more interesting threads, but wading into this mess, it’s dominating the first page so there won’t be as many fun links as usual.

Bringing sexy back

Twitter…the wasteland of stupid

Is it hot in here or is it just me?

DUer’s know what pisses off “independents”

“Please, Mr. Muslim, don’t kill me, I’m on YOUR side!”

That’s debatable.

Fitty days

…and I still wouldn’t piss on him.

47% chance it was the Ronulans.

Keep it in your pants.

Wait, are you making a case for or against public schools?

Taxing

Paging Neville Chamberlain; DUer’s prefer a nuclear Iran versus a safe Israel?

Chinese take out

Pretend wealthy DUer pretends he’s talking to Romney

Walking Dead

Halloweenie

Master debater

The Beer Factor

Translation: I mock Christians because I know they won’t cut off my head

Conservatives are just as bad a Muslims

Appeasement as an exit strategy…how’s that working for ya?

Bumper sticker = hate

Romney hates children since they’re in the 47%

DUers are Constitutional scholars

Pretend Republicans always talk to strangers in doctor’s office waiting rooms

They have “Christian” in their name and they’re supporting the president, so I like what they
say

Striking a nerve there, Entitlement Baby?

Joey The Mooch

…well, peanut butter IS brown, and oppressed by white bread.

Next up; Godzilla!

Imaginary “Republicans” will always vote for Obama

Poll dancer

…shouldn’t that be ‘axing’?

Imaginary “Republicans” will always call Obama a ni**er

Yeah, but is he a necro-viking?

This entire thing fell apart on the third sentence.

Leftists worry we’re screwing up Mars, because you know, it’s such an awesome place to visit as it is.

…one heart beat away from the presidency.

No seriously, we could have ended up with President Joe Biteme.

Humanely killing sick people.

Well at least this isn’t the first time she’s been proud of her country.

Imaginary “Republican” now sorry for calling Clinton a pot-smoking, draft-dodging douchebag.

As the email turns.

Out of his Vulcan mind.

If you’re going to make up shit, at least make it believable.

“MSM never challenges conservatives”. Holy shitstains, Batman.

…in other words, your indoctrination didn’t work.

Yeah, you guys totally kicked butt…to the tune of $15m in the hole, jackass.

“They is gonna stealz the election again!!!”

Imaginary “Republicans” return shit for a full refund after they’ve used it.

Hey, whatever gets the guilt ridden white people into the casinos, am I right?

DU Theological Seminary

DU Atheist Society

In case you haven’t heard, Republicans are racists…and they envy the size of Obama’s “ego penis”, whatever the fuck that is.

Car washers union…seriously.

They can drive? Who knew?

Better off

…a Southern man don’t need him around anyhow.

Master debater

The price of coronation

Shit Face

Harry Belefonte….political genius

GM = Gimmie Money

…then everyone applauded; EBT Edition.

Bread & Circuses

Magic 8-ball says, “You’re Full Of Shit”.

Listen….you smell that?

Forward…by going backwards?

Fed up

Pyramid scheme

Proving you’re a legal voter = Jim Crow

…no, but if they want a Sorento they have to pay 4.3% APR.

Gay Clint

Monkey business.

Selective memory as a cottage industry

…counting chickens

The Office Idiot

And I hear they beat their wives too.

California….the “most sane state”.

…says the angry white man.

Stupid question is stupid, stupid.

Hm. I thought the religious questions were off limits.

Generalizations are always bad.

Yes….they have a gun to their heads.

Empty threats

Channeling FDR….yeah, that’ll work.

DUers are good at theology and shit.

White men have ruined everything.

Since when did the TSA join the Mormon church?

And last but not least, the requisite “commie holiday” recognition.

White American high schoolers are stupid.

Collar adjustment = sexual harassment

Yeah, it’s better to kill them early and get it over with.

Just take a little off the tip.

Understanding A’stan

Navy is provoking Iran

Bush’s fault

…but guns cause people to kill?

Screwy

“I promise to do better next time, guys.”

Dog eat dog.

…then everyone applauded; SPQR Edition

Too Long…Did Not Read

When you lie down with Marx…

Occupy who?

Conquering the globe for Christ.

A talking vagina…now that’s something you don’t see every day.

There are “reasons” for the weather.

Sis is a birther???

Obama defunded NASA because of the 1%ers.

Hoping Republicans act like classless leftards.

Iron my shirt, bitch.

Paging Charles Darwin….

He would, if he didn’t have a 10am tee time.

They made it themselves.

…then everyone in Europe applauded.

Box Office Obama.

Watergate to blame on why we don’t have a Mars colony already.

Twitter…where even the president can fabricate a couple million people out of thin air #deadvotersarepeopletoo.

“The 300! It’s like Thermopylae except no Spartans…and no swords…and pretty much everything else that would be cool.”

Your Civil War minute, by Alan Grayson (unemployed congressman)

“Repeat a lie long enough….”

B.O. hearts Ike

This is getting taxing.

From the makers of ATTACK WAAAATCH!

Swiftboat…The Movie