This ain't Hell, but you can see it from here

Category: “Teh Stoopid”

  • Nebraska uses fentanyl for first time in execution

    death row nebraska

    Fox News reports Nebraska’s first execution since 1997 was carried out today, using a lethal combination of elements never before administered in the state.

    Double murderer Carey Dean Moore, 60, was pronounced dead at 10:47 a.m. after being injected with a lethal drug combination that included the powerful opioid fentanyl.

    Moore was convicted in 1979 for the murder of two cabdrivers in Omaha.

    Prosecutors said that at the age of 21, Moore fatally shot Reuel Van Ness during a robbery with his younger brother, using the money to buy drugs and pornography.

    Moore then fatally shot Maynard Helgeland by himself five days later, saying he wanted to prove he could take a man’s life by himself. Moore was arrested, charged and convicted of first-degree murder, while his 14-year-old brother was convicted of second-degree murder.

    The Nebraska drug protocol called for an initial IV dose of diazepam, also known as Valium, to render the inmate unconscious, followed by the powerful synthetic opioid fentanyl, then cisatracurium besylate* to induce paralysis and inhibit respiration, and potassium chloride to stop the heart.

    After each injection, prison officials sent saline through the IV to flush out any residue and ensure that all the drugs had entered the inmate’s system.

    Well yippy yi yo. Nebraska, after nearly 40 years, sends a double murderer off to the great beyond using a street junkie’s favorite. All this IV dose of this, then that, drug interspersed with a saline flush could be bypassed with a single 230 gn semi-jacked hollow point administered at high moderate velocity right behind the ear. Messy, but doesn’t Nebraska have other death row inmates, just sitting around?

    *has the effect as a neuromuscular-blocking drug or skeletal muscle relaxant in the category of non-depolarizing neuromuscular-blocking drugs, used adjunctively in anesthesia to facilitate endotracheal intubation and to provide skeletal muscle relaxation during surgery or mechanical ventilation. There, I feel better now.

  • Plane crashes after ‘unauthorized take-off’

    q400

    “I’ve got a lot of people that care about me. It’s going to disappoint them to hear that I did this. I would like to apologize to each and every one of them. Just a broken guy, got a few screws loose, I guess,” the suspect said, according to the Seattle Post-Intelligencer.

    At least he had the good sense not to hurt anyone else.

    Full story HERE

  • Pentagon Restricts Use of GPS Trackers to Find Yef

    The Pentagon is restricting troops’ use of electronic fitness trackers and other electronic tracking devices.

    There is a security problem that apparently did not occur to the Eager Beavers who think there are no Bad People in the world who want to find you and kill you. Perhaps they need to be put into a war zone with a GPS microchip embedded in their posteriors, just like in those Bond movies.

    Per this AP article:  https://apnews.com/d29c724e1d72460fbf7c2e999992d258  military personnel and other defense personnel (an undefined term) deployed to sensitive bases or high risk areas will not be allowed to use electronic fitness trackers or cell phone applications (“apps” to you gadgeteers) that can/will/are likely to reveal their whereabouts.

    No…. Really??? That thought didn’t occur to anyone at the 5-sided parking garage on the Potomac? And these people get a paycheck?

    ‘The memo, obtained by The Associated Press, stops short of banning the fitness trackers or other electronic devices, which are often linked to cellphone applications or smart watches and can provide the users’ GPS and exercise details to social media. It says the applications on personal or government-issued devices present a “significant risk” to military personnel, so those capabilities must be turned off in certain operational areas.

    ‘Under the new order, military leaders will be able to determine whether troops under their command can use the GPS function on their devices, based on the security threat in that area or on that base.  (Okay, but what if you don’t want to use one at all? Are you going to get spanked for not being socially electronic? Is your paycheck going to be fined?)

    “These geolocation capabilities can expose personal information, locations, routines, and numbers of DOD personnel, and potentially create unintended security consequences and increased risk to the joint force and mission,” the memo said.” – AP article quote.

    This comes from the revelation in January that an online tracking map titled Global Heat Map, created by Strava, a GPS tracking company, was pinpointing the locations of subscribers through satellite uplinks to Strava’s fitness service.

    This means that we can no longer track whether or not Yef is in the hallway running the floor buffer or trekking across the grinder to get ice cream.

    The other side of this coin is this questionable need to be electronically connected to everything in the world. My phone annoys me enough when it rings and doesn’t tell me who is robocalling me. Is it really, truly necessary to be so digitized that you can be followed by a satellite uplink whether you like it or not?

    Like I said above, what if you just don’t want the damned thing in the first place?

  • Naked British Army captain destroys toilet in harrowing bathroom escape

    brit loo bamage

    Some things you just can’t make up, other things need little explanation. In this case, I believe there’s a lesson to be had.

    Military Times Link

    Toilet humor is a time-honored tradition of military personnel around the globe, passed down from generation to generation by exceptional orators, inscriptions on barracks walls as treasured as the Dead Sea Scrolls or through meticulously sketched art in far-flung porta-johns, the likes of which are rivaled only by Michelangelo’s Sistine Chapel.

    This past week, military annals of lavatory amusement received a noteworthy addition when a British Army captain, in a state of awe-inspiring intoxication following a formal ceremony, was stripped naked by his troops after he fell asleep and locked in a barracks bathroom for six hours to contemplate the meaning of life.

    What the captain’s subordinates didn’t expect, however, was that the prank victim, once roused from the dead, would reveal himself to be the second coming of Harry Houdini mixed with a dash of Tasmanian Devil.

    “When he woke up he started banging on the door, screaming at the blokes to let him out,” a source told the Daily Mail. “They replied they’d only let him out if he gave them a pay rise.”

    Unwilling to budge on matters of pay, the explosive ordnance disposal officer who refused to dispose of his explosive temper began unleashing hell on the porcelain-filled confines, ripping the toilet and steel handrails from their foundation to bash his way to sweet deliverance, the report said.

    Drunk, naked and angry are no way to be, Captain, so never pass out in the enlisted barracks.

  • Goodbye, My Old Friend

     

    Goodbye, my Old Friend.

    We’ve had some really good times together.

    You helped me paint the shed with white stripes and a green door, so that it looked more like a barn than a giant piece of metal junk. The shed was so happy that violets now grow next to it.

    You took the pain of color spray-and-pray out of the use of the can for me, any time I asked. A noble cause if there ever was one.  You even aimed true at a wasp for me one day. There is nothing as confused or ridiculous as a wasp painted white… or green. I could not have done a better job with a brush.

    Good times.

    But no good thing goes untouched by bad people, does it? The word in the ‘hood is that the twerps who spoil it for the rest of us got the word about you and your kind, and made war on walls and parked cars and even poor, innocent Divvy bikes and someone’s darling, precious Harley. There is no good thing that can’t be turned sour or misused, is there?

    Those spray cans have now been changed. The nozzles are no longer amenable to your attachment to them. The marriage of your kind to the spray can may have been a match made in heaven for people with itty-bitty hands like mine, or arthritis, like the retired bus driver up the street.

    I can’t go to the hardware store with you in my purse and ask if there are any spray cans that will fit you, because now, everything has changed. The spray nozzle is different and the colors are new. Rust-Oleum has a spray gun grip that fits the new spray nozzle. And besides that, the new one from Krylon has a red plastic lever and you don’t.

    So that leaves me with no alternative but to put your plastic help aside and say good-bye.

    Good-bye, Old Friend. I’ll miss you. (Sniffle.)

    WAIT!!! Maybe I could attach you to a can of Bull Shit Repellent!

    Now, there’s a thought.

  • ISIS claims attack on cyclists in Tajikistan

    jihad

    CBS News reports The Islamic State of Iraq and Syria (ISIS) has claimed responsibility for an attack in Tajikistan that left four cycle tourists, including two Americans, dead over the weekend. The terror group released a video purportedly showing the five men who carried out the attack, pledging allegiance to its leader Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi.

    A Daewoo sedan plowed into the group of seven foreign bicyclists about 60 miles south of the Tajik capital, Dushanbe, on Sunday, according to local police. The people in the vehicle then “exited the car and stabbed the cyclists with knives,” the U.S. Embassy in Tajikistan said in a statement Monday.

    Four of the cyclists died and three others, including a woman from Switzerland, were injured, Tajik officials said.

    Two of the victims were American, one was Swiss, and another was from the Netherlands, both foreign and Tajik officials said. Tajik President Emomali Rahmon sent the leaders of each country a telegram expressing condolences Monday.

    United States Charge dAffaires in Tajikistan, Kevin Covert, met people at the American embassy in Dushanbe who came to pay their tributes to the victims of the attack.

    Of all the places in the world, they pick Tajikistan for a cycling vacation. If they wanted a thrill seeker adventure vacation, should have visited Chicago or Baltimore.

  • A Fort Jackson Brigade Commander Busted in Prostitution Sting

    Army Times, COL Fernando Guadalupe Jr. speaks during change of command.

    A colonel from Fort Jackson decided that he was going to have some fun. Sorting through some prostitute advertisements, he came across a “winner”. He made contact, then initiated movement to the contact. He got to the destination and, with his groins stirring in anticipation to the frolicking that he was about to engage in, parked and walked towards the residence.

    Excited that his fantasies were about to become real, he got closer to the door. He got to the home, but what he was hoping he could deliver on ended up being served to him.

    Police operation, Operation Full Armor, busted COL Fernando Guadalupe during a sting operation. The operation scored prostitutes, male sex buyers, and child predators. The Colonel was arrested for trying to hire a sex worker.

    COL Fernando Guadalupe is listed as one of the Brigade Commanders stationed at Fort Jackson. He has since been relieved of his duties:

    Originally posted by Army Times:

    According to the Army, Guadalupe has been the head of Fort Jackson’s Leader Training Brigade since January 2017. Before Fort Jackson, Guadalupe was the Resolute Support Mission director of staff at NATO headquarters and the chief of doctrine and tactics for the U.S. Army Aviation School of Excellence.

    The screwing that he’s actually going to get might cost him more than $100.00.

  • William Nguyen to be deported from Vietnam

    William Nguyen to be deported from Vietnam

    A few days ago we talked about William Nguyen who was arrested in Vietnam for participating in a protest against the Vietnamese government. The Associated Press reports that the court convicted him and ordered him deported;

    A court official said that Nguyen, who is of Vietnamese descent, admitted to the violation and showed remorse, which resulted in a lenient sentence. He had faced up to seven years in prison.

    U.S. Secretary of State Mike Pompeo tweeted later Friday that he was “tremendously pleased” Nguyen would be returning home to his family.

    The State Department had previously said Pompeo had raised Nguyen’s case while meeting with Vietnamese officials during his visit to Hanoi earlier this month.

    Demonstrations in communist Vietnam are uncommon and often broken up by plainclothes police.

    So, Nguyen lucked out. His mother had fled the country in 1979, you’d have thought that he would know better.