This ain't Hell, but you can see it from here

Category: Shitbags

  • “Bigamist” Johnson Pays Fine, Avoides Doing Time

    Well, it looks like it’s official. Per the Army Times, that philandering former bigamist Brigade Commander, James H. Johnson III, won’t be doing any time. Looks like he came up with the $300,000 he was fined, and has apparently paid up. Full details are behind a pay wall, but the story’s “teaser” tells enough – well, assuming the Army Times got the facts right this time.

    Yeah, this was a travesty. IMO Johnson should be doing at least a couple of years at the Leavenworth crossbar hotel, followed by dismissal, along with that fine. But the courts-martial panel turned candy-ass and didn’t slam him like it should have, probably out of sympathy for his first wife.

    However, Johnson’s now a convicted felon – which likely rather severely limits his post-service employment prospects. In many states that also means voting and firearms ownership could be problematic.  I’m guessing his Army career will end fairly soon, too. And I’d also guess the judge at his civil divorce trial will look at all of this when he decides division of property and future alimony his first wife is owed.

    I hope that Johnson had to cash out 100% of any savings/retirement accounts and/or investments he owned to pay that fine. And I hope the judge in his divorce trial awards his first wife all community property, plus a big chunk of his retirement pay – say, 75% or so – as alimony.

    Have a nice rest of your life, Johnson. Good riddance, and don’t let the door hit you on the ass as you outprocess – hopefully very soon.

  • Not a Mom of the Year candidate

    Ohio police say that they’ve arrested 42-year-old Jennifer Fletcher, who won’t be winning any accolades for her mothering skills as she, at the urging of her live-in boyfriend, Keith Hoover, stole her own son’s identity and drained his accounts while he was deployed to Iraq and Afghanistan according to the Canton Rep;

    According to court records, Fletcher withdrew roughly $7,500 from Scott Davis’ bank account between the fall of 2010 and the spring of 2011. The theft occurred after Fletcher reportedly agreed to file her son’s taxes while he was stationed in Afghanistan and Iraq as a member of the U.S. Army.

    Court records show Fletcher used her son’s personal information to obtain checks in his name, then cashed them after forging his signature. Fletcher also is accused of depositing nearly $1,400 of Davis’ state and federal income tax refunds into her account to pay bills.

    Davis’ wife reported the theft to police in May.

    I guess that’s why the drill sergeants wouldn’t let us give our Moms a power-of-attorney. One less thing.

  • Now, That’s REALLY Wanting to Avoid Deployment . . . .

    Not that many people in the military actually want to deploy. But when their number comes up most grumble a bit – then go.

    Hey, I can understand not wanting to deploy. No one likes the idea of potential unsanitary involuntary random body piercings, or being separated from friends and family for months at a time. But it’s part of the deal you made when you signed on the dotted line.

    However, a few actively try to avoid deployments when their number comes up. And some really pull out all the stops to avoid going.

    What stops, you ask? Well, like convincing their own spouse to shoot them.

    No, I’m not kidding.

    It seems a young USAF SSgt stationed at Barksdale AFB, LA, was accused of doing exactly that the other day. She is accused of having her husband (also in the USAF, and also a SSgt at Barksdale AFB) shoot her to avoid deployment to SWA. She was wounded in both legs – apparently not seriously, since she’s already out of the hospital.

    She originally told police that she was shot early Friday by an intruder who escaped before police arrived. On further investigation, local police arrested her husband for illegal use of a weapon – for shooting her.   Police also issued her a summons for criminal mischief for filing a false police report.

    No word on whether the USAF has preferred charges yet for malingering, conspiracy, or other crimes against either. But I’d guess that’s only a matter of time.  Tell your careers goodbye, Sergeants – and possibly all your VA benefits as well.

    I will never understand some people. Sheesh, how freaking stupid can someone be?

  • Five more indicted in Fort Stewart terror plot

    Someone who gets pissed off every time I use his links without mentioning his name sent us a link to the continuing saga of the big dimwitted plot to help an Army private take over the world from Fort Stewart, GA. It seems they’ve indicted five more wantwits;

    [District Attorney Tom] Durden said Tuesday he’s been told none of the five men charged in the latest indictments were still serving in the Army on active duty, but at least three of them had served in the military.

    None of them are named Pinky or The Brain;

    The men charged with gang violations and other criminal counts were identified as Adam Dearman, Timothy Joiner, Randall Blake Dearman and Anthony Garner. It was not immediately known if they had hired attorneys.

    What a tragic waste – two murders to cover up a plot that never had a chance to succeed anyway. They just should have shot themselves as soon as they thought of it and saved the rest of us the trouble.

  • Now I’m Really Confused

    This one has me scratching my head – bigtime.

    According to his military lawyer, accused Fort Hood mass-murderer Nidal Hasan offered twice to plead guilty.  The Army apparently rejected both offers.

    FORT HOOD, Texas — The Army psychiatrist charged in the 2009 Fort Hood massacre twice offered to plead guilty and “accept full responsibility” for the crime earlier this year, his lead defense attorney said Thursday.

    After the government turned him down in January, Maj. Nidal Hasan offered to plead guilty again last month without a deal — and also tried to challenge Army rules that prohibit a judge from accepting a guilty plea to murder in a death penalty case, said Lt. Col. Kris Poppe.

    I can understand why the Army likely refused the first attempt at a plea; it almost certainly included conditions as part of the deal that the Army didn’t want.  And I can technically understand the second refusal, too.  After all, rules are rules.

    No, what confuses me is the rule itself.  Why in the hell can’t an Army judge accept a guilty plea in a case where the death penalty is on the table?

    If any of our military lawyers (or other readers) could clarify, I’d be greatly obliged.  Because that just doesn’t pass the common-sense test.

    Sometimes it really seems like Pogo was right after all.

     

     

  • Stupidest smuggler ring busted

    Reuters reports that former staff sergeant Joseph Debose, supposedly a member of a National Guard Special Forces unit, pleaded guilty to charges of trying to smuggle 13 weapons to China in North Carolina yesterday;

    According to court documents, Debose provided multiple shipments of firearms to co-conspirators who then hid the weapons in packages and transported them to shipping companies to be sent to customers in China.

    “In blatant disregard for everything he was sworn to uphold, the defendant placed numerous firearms into a black market pipeline from the United States to China,” said Loretta Lynch, U.S. Attorney for the Eastern District of New York.

    First of all, why would 13 weapons in China be so important to risk arrest? There are 1.3 billion people in China, that’s one weapon for every hundred million people.

    The scheme came to light when local law enforcement officials in China seized a package containing firearms concealed in speaker casings, court records show. The weapons, whose serial numbers had been defaced, had been sent from Queens, New York, and were later traced back to Debose, according to the complaint.

    OK, so he was trying to arm a group of rebels which makes more sense, but, I’ve heard from people who’ve been to China that you can feel eyes on you everywhere while you’re there, so how did he think he wouldn’t be caught?

    And to the journalist who wrote the piece, guns aren’t people, so you really can’t use the phrase “The weapons, whose serial numbers had been defaced…”

  • Lawyer Scams Vets, Gets Busted, Pleads

    In The Inferno, Dante reserves a special place in his vision of hell for those who commit fraud and treachery.  He assigns them the worst punishments in hell:  the innermost two circles.

    I have to say that I agree with Dante.  And in my book, it’s doubly bad when the victim of fraud or treachery is helpless, due to either age or infirmity.  So let’s just say I really don’t like those who defraud or betray aged or seriously disabled veterans – particularly when they’ve been appointed to a position of special responsibility and trust.

    Yet as Jonn reminded us a few weeks ago such treachery happens with disturbing regularity.  People appointed to look after aged or seriously disabled veterans’ finances steal from them all the time.  IMO the VA needs to do a better job in selecting those it appoints to look after the financial matters of veterans.

    But sometimes one of these treacherous, thieving bastards gets nailed.  And when that happens it brings a smile to my face.

    I’m smiling today.

    It seems an unscrupulous attorney in Houston was preying on veterans.  He was acting as fiduciary for some aged and/or seriously disabled vets; his wife was in on the scam.   They were diverting at least some of those vets’ funds for their own use.

    They got caught.  And yesterday, Joe B. Philips plead guilty in  Federal court to conspiracy to make false statements, misappropriation by a fiduciary, and signing a false income tax return.  His wife, Dorothy Philips, plead guilty to conspiracy and making a false statement on an income tax return.

    Joe’s facing up to 13 years in prison; Dorothy is facing up to 8 years.  And I doubt they’ll get to share a cell.

    The Philips are somewhat aged themselves – in their 70s, to be precise.  You know what? I don’t care.  I still hope the judge gives each of them the maximum allowable sentence.

    That would really make me smile.

  • Rivera ordered to leave Canada

    We first wrote about Kimberly Rivera and her brood back in 2009. Her story goes like this; She met her husband, Mario, while they were working at WalMart. They fell in love and married. While living in her parents’ basement, they began procreating, Mario decided that wasn’t the life for him and so he convinced Kimberly that she should join the Army, and she got a fat signing bonus which they promptly spent on a leather couch.

    Then their little dream world fell apart when *surprise* Kimberly was deployed to Iraq (I mean who thought that joining the Army in 2006 would result in being deployed to Iraq). So when she came home in the middle of her tour, Mario then convinced her to desert the Army (and the folks who were waiting for her to come back and do the job she got the fat signing bonus for) and they fled to Canada. The reason Mario talked her into deserting is because he couldn’t take care of the children he’d fathered with Kimberly by himself. I guess parenting was cutting into his video-game playing or something.

    Anyway, now Canada has decided that their taxpayers have been supporting the magic baby-machine long enough and have ordered her to leave the Great White North before September 20th. And that makes Kimberly sad;

    “I’m just overwhelmed. I don’t want to face reality. I respect Canada’s laws and I will still proceed with what it is that I have to do, but I’m trying to take it one step at a time so I don’t have meltdowns like earlier,” said Rivera, who stepped away during a press conference Friday when she became visibly upset.

    Rivera’s lawyer, Alyssa Manning, said her client is considering appealing the deportation ruling.

    “The 6 percent of (war) deserters who are punished through incarceration include service personnel who have been publicly outspoken about their criticisms of the Iraq war while AWOL. The government has failed to assess that risk that Kim faces and that needs to be considered,” said Manning.

    The article goes on to explain how Kimberly became “disillusioned with the mission in Iraq”. Bullshit, her husband became disillusioned with the series of bad choices he had forced on his wife and wanted to make her abandon her commitment, while he has no real skin in the game. And now, Kimberly, not Mario, faces jail time.

    Thanks to Green Thumb for the link.

    ADDED: Our buddy, Aunty Brat, gives us the Canadian view.