This ain't Hell, but you can see it from here

Category: Satire

  • The phony soldier you’ve all been waiting for

    From StrikeFO and his satire blog, the Duffle Duffel Blog, the phony soldier we’ve all been looking for. The one guy who pretends to be an admin clerk;

    “It was all downhill from there,” Dukes said. “He starts off ‘So, there I was…in the shit…the coffee was gone. We were out of doughnuts.’ Anyone who’s been downrange knows full well Green Bean is almost always open and we’re hip deep in pogey bait, so there’s no excuse. I called Stolen Valor after that.”

    After Dukes’ tip, the FBI decided to investigate. In what was a open and shut case, Mr. Faquir was tried and sentenced to a $10,000 fine and one year’s probation. He could not be reached for comment at the time of this article.

    Although this story had a happy ending, it’s still not enough for Wendell Dukes. He encourages all 42Ls not to allow their profession to be sullied by posers.

    I’ll say it again; it’s SATIRE. We’re still hunting the one guy who pretends to be a POG.

  • Jihadist fail

    The Duffel Blog, a SATIRE blog, has the story of a failed jihadist in Afghanistan;

    “I was just coming off a foot patrol and was glad to sit down and enjoy a nice plate of… well… something. I’m not really sure what it was, it was some kind of meat I guess. That’s not the point. Anyways, this guy comes in with his AK-47 and yells something like ‘King Kong ain’t got shit on me!’ and starts spraying wildly over his head.

    Everyone dropped to the floor but I don’t think it would have mattered if we had just finished our meals. The only thing he hit was the flags hanging from the ceiling. After he wasted all of his ammo in about five seconds he couldn’t get his other magazine out of his pocket because there was duct tape on it for some reason. Two guys from Bravo Company took the opportunity and tackled him. It looked like he tried to tickle fight them once they had him pinned down.”

    StrikeFO wrote the piece, I think so you should read the whole thing and send him props.

  • Gun Control – Action Figure Therapy

    TSO sends this hilarious video from the folks at Action Figure Therapy on gun control. This Marine discusses arming school children and registering coffee tables with the government. Because it’s AFT and TAH, you know there’s a Language Warning;

  • The LT you remember

    StrikeFO sends us another link from the Duffle Blog. I know you guys know this lieutenant;

    Despite his success in such a dangerous environment as Kuwait, Lieutenant Boyd is taking all the positive praise in stride.

    “I haven’t really let it change me as a person you know. Everywhere I go on Camp Buehring I have higher ranking officers wanting to tell me how great of a job I’m doing keeping my troops safe. I’ve also noticed the lower enlisted whispering and pointing at me whenever I walk by.”

    “Because I’m wearing my ear-pro most of the day, I’m not sure what they tell each other, but my guess is they’re saying, ‘There goes that LT that makes his guys wear eye-pro everywhere. Man, he’s a winner.’”

    Yes, this time I know it’s satire.

  • bin Laden’s life before martyrdom

    So what was Osama’s life like before the SEALs interrupted his upper-middle class neighborhood?

    Thanks to the folks at Next Media Animation for the link.

  • An early spring?

    At Gobbler’s Knob on this Groundhog Day, Phil predicted an early Spring;

    For some folks it can’t come too early;
    (more…)

  • Obama sending ninjas to repel Hurricane Earl

    I found the above picture at Yahoo/Associated Press and they claim it’s a guy doing Tai Chi at Rehoboth Beach. But, (in my best Gordon Duff voice) it looks to me like Obama isn’t going to sit on his hands like GWB when Americans are threatened by hurricanes and he’s sending hurricane ninjas out to beat Hurricane Earl back into the sea.

    However, there is evidence that Hurricane Earl is a Mossad false-flag hurricane (Earl, like in Is-Ray-Earl?), so the ninjas’ success isn’t guaranteed.

  • It’s Saturday Night Links

    Just a few quick links since there is nothing too big for it’s own post. So lets begin;

    To start off, there has been a fourth Church that has been burned down Malaysia that is suspected of being linked to the law that allowed Christians to use Allah to refer to God.

    The violence comes as Muslims protest a recent court ruling that allowed a Catholic newspaper to use the word “Allah” for God. Muslims believe Allah, an Arabic word, should only be used by Muslims.

    Next is that the suicide bomber that killed at least 6 CIA personal set off his bomb before he was searched.

    Those at the scene on Dec. 30 had been trying to strike a balance between respect for their informant — best demonstrated, in the regional tradition, by direct personal contact — and caution, illustrated by the attentiveness of the security guards, according to CIA officials.

    Also in Dallas a guy eager to see his girlfriend caused the Airport to be shut down for seven hours when he wanted a hug before she left.

    “He just wanted to say goodbye to his girlfriend, I don’t think he realized what he [was] doing,” said another pal, Ning Huang, 33, who plays soccer with Jiang.

    Separately

    TSA guard Ruben Hernandez had temporarily left his post unguarded, highlighting porous security at the airport despite recent terror alerts.

    Lastly seems that Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid has publicly apologized for his comment back in 2008.

    “I deeply regret using such a poor choice of words,” Reid said in a statement. “I sincerely apologize for offending any and all Americans, especially African Americans, for my improper comments.”

    We shall see what happens with that. Now if he would appoligize about his comment that the Iraq War was Lost. I know, not going to happen.

    To end it off I figured something funny. Remember when Cindy Sheehan made her “Under the Death Star” speech? Well seemed that this cartoon came out tow years before it and looked like it was made for it.