This ain't Hell, but you can see it from here

Category: Dumbass Bullshit

  • “Good for the Environment”, Eh?

    Looks like our Hollywood “do-gooder” environmentalist extraordinaire Leonardo DiCaprio is at it again.  This time, he’s taking substantial time off from his acting career to do “good for the environment”.

    In an interview with Germany’s mass circulation daily Bild, the 38-year-old American actor said: “I am a bit drained. I’m now going to take a long, long break. I’ve done three films in two years and I’m just worn out.”

    “I would like to improve the world a bit. I will fly around the world doing good for the environment.”

    OK, let’s take him at his word.  And let’s look at what the effect of this trip will be on Mother Earth.

    Now, you know a Hollywood “A-list” type like DiCaprio isn’t going to fly anywhere on regularly scheduled airlines.  He’ll fly on a private or chartered jet.

    Let’s be kind and assume he uses a small LearJet – say, a small one like the Bombardier 35A.  That aircraft can cruise comfortably at around 400 knots, or 460 MPH, for a bit over 2000 miles – in round numbers, about of 4.5 hours flight time.

    That aircraft uses 197 gallons of jet fuel per hour at cruise.  So each 2000 miles will use about 885 gallons of jet fuel.

    Now, assume 30,000 miles for the total length of DiCaprio’s round the world “save the planet” tour.  (He’ll certainly be visiting “down under”, NZ, and probably South Africa and South America, plus North America, Europe, and parts of Asia – so that’s probably an underestimate.)  Doing the math, that comes to around 13,300 gallons of jet fuel.

    Chemically, jet fuel is kerosene-based. Kerosene has an average chemical composition of C12H26.  That means it’s approximately 85% carbon by weight.

    Jet fuel weighs about 6.8 pounds per gallon.  So DiCaprio is going to burn about 90,400 pounds – or about 45 tons – of jet fuel on his trip.

    That amount of jet fuel will contain about 38.3 tons of carbon.  But remember:  according to the “save the world” crowd – “Carbon . . . . baaaaad!”

    Why is carbon “bad”?  Well, according to the “save the world” crowd it’s because it produces carbon dioxide.

    Virtually every atom of carbon in that jet fuel will produce a molecule of CO2 when burned. (The tiny fraction that doesn’t will produce stuff that’s even worse as a pollutant – unburned hydrocarbons, soot, etc . . . .)  Since the carbon is only about 27% of the weight of each molecule of CO2, burning this amount of jet fuel will add more than 140 tons of carbon dioxide to the earth’s atmosphere.

    That’s just the jet travel.  It doesn’t account for the fuel for DiCaprio’s chauffer-driven limo at each stop.  (What, do you expect him to rent a Volkswagon and drive himself anywhere?)  Or the fuel for the vehicles for his bodyguards or his entourage.  Or the energy used to heat/cool their hotel rooms.  Or . . .well, you get the picture.

    Also, a “round the world” trip like this shouldn’t take more than 3 months.  All of the above fuel and energy?  That’s only what DiCaprio’s going to waste – unnecessarily – in about 3 months.  Wonder what he’ll burn through during the rest of the year?

    Here’s a real world sanity check:  a guy or gal driving a car that gets 20 miles to the gallon 15,000 miles annually burns 750 gallons of fuel.  That’s only about 5.6% of the more than 13,400 gallons of fuel DiCaprio will waste in 90 days during his meaningless publicity stunt.

    Hypocrisy, thy name is “Hollywood”.  Or here, maybe that should be “DiCaprio”.

     

    Look, I’m all for conserving resources for the next generation.  I don’t want to see the environment spoiled. I want my kids and grandkids to have a nice place to live.  They won’t if we screw up the planet.

    But what DiCaprio’s doing here isn’t “saving the planet” – it’s nothing more than meaningless grandstanding to feed his ego.  Like so many other libidiot ideas and causes, it sounds good initially and makes people “feel good”.  But when you analyze it, just like many libidiot ideas and causes it’s actually wasteful and counterproductive.

    Want to really help “save the earth”, Lenny my boy?  Then freaking stay home vice traveling the globe – and promote conservation from and within Hollywood.

    You make films for a living.  You should be able to figure out how to reach people from a distance.

     

    (Author’s note:  the original version of this article used diesel fuel as a basis for calculation of the amount of CO2 generated by DiCaprio’s upcoming “save the world” tour.  That was an error.  The reference originally consulted erroneously implied modern jet fuel is chemically similar to diesel fuel. That is not the case; like most older jet fuels, modern Jet A and Jet A1 are kerosene-based. The error has been corrected above.)

  • More from Chuckles the Clown

    Well, good old “Chuckles the Clown” Schumer, D-NY, is at it again – opening his mouth and spouting idiocy.  Anyone surprised?

    Seems that Chuckles gave an interview with HuffPost Live the other day.  You know, HuffPo –that major online wannabe liberal media outlet that pays its authors and contributors so well?

    Here’s what Chuckles had to say when asked about whether his colleagues were “willing to admit” that the NRA is a “fringe group”:

    “Well they sure are a fringe group, but whether enough of my colleagues are ready to admit that, I’m not sure.

    They are a very extreme group.  They don’t even represent average gun holders.”

    A link to video of the interview can be found at the link above.

    A “fringe group”?  Hardly, Chuckles.  By definition, a “fringe group” is viewed favorably by a small minority, with a large majority viewing them unfavorably.

    According to the latest NBC/WSJ polling, 41% of Americans view the NRA favorably; 34%, unfavorable.  Same favorable percentage as two years ago, as a matter of fact.  And much better than in the 1990s, when the NRA was “underwater” (e.g., higher percentage of unfavorable views than favorable).

    In comparison, 24% of Americans view the entertainment industry favorably, while 39% view the entertainment industry negatively.

    Congress?  According to the most recent RCP polling (7-17 Jan 2013), try an approval rate of a bit over 15% – and a disapproval rate of close to 80%.  Now we’re getting close to “fringe group” territory.

    Hey, Chuckles – where did you say you worked again?

    Geez.  As Bugs Bunny put it decades ago:  “What a maroon!”

  • Military Bureaucracy – Ya Gotta Love It!

    All of us here at TAH probably have funny stories about run-arounds, SNAFUs, and the like involving military bureaucracy or paperwork.  So it occurred to me that posting an article on the subject and inviting comments from TAH’s readers might be worthwhile.

    Since I’m posting the article, I guess that means I’m “on the hook” for the first such story.  Fair enough; here goes.

    Each service has its own admin practices and procedures.  Most of the time, they actually work fairly well.

    Even the Army’s orders process generally works – though like a dancing bear, it often does so somewhat less than gracefully.  Once it took 3 tries for DA to slide a reporting date of mine 30 days “to the right” (later).   I guess that change must have had the same clerk-typist processing it that had trouble spelling “Fort Rucker” in this article.  (smile)

    But that’s not the funniest admin SNAFU that ever happened to me personally.

    In 2007-2008, I was ordered back to active duty for a tour in the CENTCOM AOR.  I spent virtually all of that year serving in either Afghanistan or Iraq.

    During January 2008, my duty station was in Iraq – Baghdad, to be precise.  Except for R&R, I’d been there since August and in theater since April.

    Well, in January 2008 I got the following amendment to the orders recalling me to active duty and sending me to the sandbox.  It was sent to me at my home of record; my spouse forwarded me a copy.

    I’ve redacted PII and a couple of other bits of info.  Take a look at the text in the red box.  (Click on the image to enlarge it.)

    Yep, you read that right.  I’m deployed to the sandbox, stationed in Baghdad and have been there for months, in the middle of a no-joke shooting war.  And the Army sends me an amendment to my freaking orders telling me I need to check in with Post billeting and reminding me that if I want to live “on the economy” I need a statement of nonavailability.

    I got a really good laugh out of that bit of bureaucratic idiocy.  (smile)

    — — —

    OK, there have to be better stories than that out there.  Fire away!

  • Target to military widow: Park somewhere else

    In May of 2012 Navy Master-at-Arms Sean Brazas was killed in action while serving in Afghanistan. Earlier today his widow Allie Brazas, also a Navy Petty Officer, attended a ceremony on a public street corner where a banner, sponsored by the Chief Petty Officers of Naval Base Kitsap, was put up in his honor. She called ahead as a courtesy to the Target in Silverdale, WA to let them know that some people might be parking in the far corner of the their lot for about 30 minutes and explained what the ceremony was for. The store management’s response?

    No.

    According to Petty Officer Allie Brazas when some people parked in the lot anyway two Target employees walked across the nearly empty lot to tell them they had to park somewhere else. It took the Kitsap County Sheriff, who was on site for the ceremony, to intervene. From her Facebook page:

    Target,
    I am stationed in Washington State and shop often at the Target Store on Silverdale Way in Silverdale, WA as do most of my Brothers and sisters in arms. On May 30, 2012 my husband, MA2 (EXW) Sean E. Brazas was Killed in Action while serving in Afghanistan. Today, we hung a Gold Star Banner in his honor on the street light on the corner of your store. We called weeks ahead of time to let the store manager know that we would be having this ceremony. The street light is on city property so we were just doing it as a courtesy call to let the store know there would be a lot of traffic on the corner infront of the store. We also informed the manager that the parking lot may have additional cars parked in it due to the ceremony. The ceremony was from 1030 am to 1100 am. The manager told us we were absolutely NOT aloud to use there parking lot for any part of our ceremony, to include parking our vehicles. We politely reminded her he was KILLED IN ACTION protecting our freedoms. She once again denied the request and told us it was “Target Policy”. We went ahead and used the parking lot to park our cars anyway. We had several mayors, county commissioners, and service members in attendance along with myself, Seans wife. We utilized the very very BACK of the parking lot to park our cars then gathered near the street corner. While people were pulling up and gathering 2 target employees approached me and asked me what was going on. I explained to them that we were having a public ceremony on the street corner for my husband and we were simply parking our cars and gathering on city property. The gentleman told me this required written permission. I explained that I had asked for permission and was denied.. But this was city property where we were gathering and as far as parking was concerned I did not see any “No Trespassing” signs. I also explained it was 1030 in the morning and there were tons of open parking spaces available for customers. They continued to give me a lecture about how we could not utilize the parking lot. By this time the sheriff had arrived to attend the ceremony and said he’d take Care of it and said we were in no way violating any laws. Thankfully, the rest of the ceremony went flawlessly, no thanks to Target.

    I was VERY disappointed in the way things were handled. It’s unfortunate that your company is not more supportive of the military, especially of those who paid the ultimate sacrifice. I hope someone somewhere reads this and fixes this so called “policy” you guys have in place. Its truly Unacceptable

    Thank you for your time

    Very Respectfully,
    Allie Brazas

    You see, when you use an almost empty Target parking lot for a half hour to honor a fallen sailor you get treated like a junkie trying to use the customer only restroom to shoot up. Maybe if they’d bought a pack of gum they would’ve been okay. Not that I’m not one to tell people what to do with their private property but this falls somewhere between outrageous and stupid. Not only does this Target serve a military town but, having grown up in this town myself, I spent years having to drive by anti-war protesters, Occupy types, LaRouchies and other assorted shit bags on that corner. Can you guess where they parked?

    Needless to say Target’s Facebook page is currently getting shit all over. I for one will be letting Target know that until an official apology is issued I won’t be shopping at Target. I’ll also be waiting on an update on the manager who made the decision.

  • More rocket launcher idiocy in LA

    Just when we thought that all of the hyperbole had been wrung out of the news of some “rocket launchers” which were bought by police in the gun buy back operation in Los Angeles, the LA Times weighs in with the news that those two expended tubes were actually from the military;

    rocket launcher hyperbole

    I guess that’s as opposed to the civilian version. But, I found the uneducated banter in the article even more hilarious.

    Det. Gus Villanueva said the launchers were “stripped-down shells” without the technical parts needed to discharge a projectile. “They don’t have capability to discharge anything anymore,” he said.

    Well, that and the fact that it can’t be reloaded anyway. What, exactly is a “stripped down shell” anyway? The fact that the inert tube can’t be fired again doesn’t stop one spokesman from dragging out the scary-gun meme.

    Beck said he’s used to military-style weapons being turned in at such events. He noted that neither of the launchers had rockets in them, and they did not pose a danger.

    Still, he said such weapons have no place on the streets of L.A.

    “Those are weapons of war, weapons of death,” Beck said. “These are not hunting guns. These are not target guns. These are made to put high-velocity, extremely deadly, long-range rounds down-range as quickly as possible, and they have no place in our great city.”

    The only danger those tubes posed to the community was if someone got hit in the head with one if someone swung it like a club, and even then, the victim would only suffer scratches from the various protuberances. It’s almost as if The Duffel Blog has their own police force.

    LA Mayor Antonio Villaraigosa joined in the hoopla;

    “As you can see to my right and left, these weren’t just guns that weren’t functioning anymore,” Villaraigosa said at a news conference Thursday morning. “These were serious guns — semiautomatic weapons, guns that have no place on the streets of Los Angeles or any other city.”

    If I didn’t know better, I’d think that the LA Times was just trying to make their public safety officials look foolish. I’m sure everyone involved will get medals and pay raises for their valorous seizure of the inert fiberglass tubes. And these are the people who want to dictate the country’s gun control policy.

  • Marine in Mexico to be released today

    I guess all of the talk about shutting down US tourism to Mexico and the various sanctions Americans have been planning resonated with the Mexican judge who decided that Jon Hammar should be released from his Mexican cell today says Fox;

    Olivia Hammar said the judge hearing Hammar’s case issued a ruling in his favor and that her son is to be released at a time on Friday yet to be announced. No more details were available. Hammar, 27, who served in Iraq and Afghanistan, has been stuck in a notorious, drug cartel-controlled prison just 15 miles south of the U.S. border since Aug. 13, after he crossed into Mexico and declared an antique shotgun to Mexican customs officials.

    News of his pending release came just a day after a letter surfaced from Mexico’s ambassador to the U.S. that insisted Hammar’s case would go to trial.

    He probably shouldn’t have tried to get the gun into Mexico, but they shouldn’t have arrested him for being honest with the Mexicans and filling out their paperwork. We still should convince Western Union to shut their terminals down for a few days, though, anyway. After Hammar gets home.

  • In Honor of Doomsday Tomorrow . . . .

    I wonder how popular the original version of this song will be tonight and tomorrow?

    That’s great, world’s end December date, feathered  snake looks so damn great
    True believers not afraid
    Date from a Mayan Rock, took years to learn their talk
    World doesn’t give a care, dummy don’t be so scared.
    No it’s not just BS, grunt
    No strength the ladder starts to clatter with the fear, jump from heights.
    Won’t end in fire, or stuck in the mire seven miles from a government for hire and Obamacare
    Turn Left bow down it’s coming in a hurry furies breathing down your neck.
    Team by team reporters bored, tramp tramp show their scorn.
    Look at that dumbass shaking! Oh well
    Uh oh, overflow, no space in the safety zone but it’ll do.
    Save yourself, leave yourself.
    World serves its own needs, does that make your heart bleed?
    No this ain’t the rapture and the reverend  ain’t right – right.
    You idiotic, vitriolic, fool who’s not real bright,
    Feeling pretty psyched.

    It’s the end of some squirrels and they know it.
    It’s the end of some squirrels and they know it.
    It’s the end of some squirrels and they know it,

    And I dont’ mind.

    Yeah, not one of my better efforts. Makes as much sense as the original, though.

    I understand France has started blocking access zone to the “safety zone” at Pic de Bugarach because of an excess of gullible idiots. At least the French are getting this one right.

    All the “true believers” are going to be really pissed when they find out that tiny missing fragment right at the end of the stone translated as “rinse and repeat”.  (smile)

    PS:  Don’t like the above?  Bite me, Stipe.  It’s called parody.

    (Author’s note:  edited to provide IMO a more apropos chorus.)

  • Today’s Dose of Non-Gun Idiocy . . . .

    . . . . is brought to you by of the Alisal Union School District in Salinas, California.

    Seems as if the district is opening a new school.   They need to give it a name.

    They’ve chosen a name already.  According to the Alisal Union District Superintendant, John Ramirez, they’re planning to name that new school in honor of Tiburcio Vasquez.

    This decision has raised a few eyebrows and sparked some opposition. Why, you ask?  Is it due to racism?

    Hardly.  Turns out that Tiburcio Vasquez has a rather . . . checkered history.  Seems Vasquez committed his first crime at age 14 – he stabbed a constable.  He then afterwards embarked on a life of crime, becoming essentially a professional bandit.  He continued that career – interrupted by a couple of stints in San Quentin prison- until he was roughly 40 years old.  His criminal career ended when he was hanged in 1875 for murdering two people.

    In fact, the University of Southern California library calls Vasquez “probably the most notorious bandit California ever saw”.

    The district Superintendent isn’t backing down, though.  He’s predictably defending his choice publicly.  Ramirez has made such noble and measured statements defending the choice as to say that one man’s terrorist is another man’s freedom fighter, and has referred to Vasquez as a “revolutionary” who was “not okay with oppression.”  Ramirez has also made the inane claim that understanding Vasquez’s place in history requires consultation with Chicano historians.

    Another member of the selection committee, Francisco Estrada, also defended naming the new school after a convicted murderer.  Estrada has claimed that Vasquez was merely “misunderstood”; that Vasquez “was not a murderer” but rather “was framed by the system at that time.”  Estrada went on to compare Vazquez to Robin Hood, saying that Vasquez “took from the rich and gave to the poor” and “was your inspiration of Zorro”.

    I guess these two guys could be right.  All of their after-the-fact justification sounds more to me like PC apologia and than anything else.  But it’s a free country, and they’re entitled to speak their minds.

    As am I.  In a word, gentlemen – bullshit.  Murder is very damn easy to understand; ditto a 25+ year career as a professional bandit and criminal.  Both of those are ethnically and racially neutral.  And it doesn’t require any particular ethnic, racial, or religious background to figure out that naming a school after a 25+ year career criminal who was hanged as a murderer is a damnfool idea.

    Generally, I couldn’t give a hoot in hell what some school district in California names a new school.  But this one is just plain wrong.   I really think they can find someone better to honor than a  25+ year career criminal who was hanged for murder over 135 years ago.  Like maybe the late USMC Sgt. Rafael Peralta, perhaps?  If I recall correctly Sgt. Peralta  was from California too.

    Salinas is located in Monterrey County, California.  Phone, fax, and e-mail contact information for the Monterrey County Board of Education may be found here.

    Yes, this is a local decision.  But I’m not sure the County Board of Education is aware of this particular bit of idiocy – and IMO they damn well should be.