This ain't Hell, but you can see it from here

Category: Dumbass Bullshit

  • A Fort Jackson Brigade Commander Busted in Prostitution Sting

    Army Times, COL Fernando Guadalupe Jr. speaks during change of command.

    A colonel from Fort Jackson decided that he was going to have some fun. Sorting through some prostitute advertisements, he came across a “winner”. He made contact, then initiated movement to the contact. He got to the destination and, with his groins stirring in anticipation to the frolicking that he was about to engage in, parked and walked towards the residence.

    Excited that his fantasies were about to become real, he got closer to the door. He got to the home, but what he was hoping he could deliver on ended up being served to him.

    Police operation, Operation Full Armor, busted COL Fernando Guadalupe during a sting operation. The operation scored prostitutes, male sex buyers, and child predators. The Colonel was arrested for trying to hire a sex worker.

    COL Fernando Guadalupe is listed as one of the Brigade Commanders stationed at Fort Jackson. He has since been relieved of his duties:

    Originally posted by Army Times:

    According to the Army, Guadalupe has been the head of Fort Jackson’s Leader Training Brigade since January 2017. Before Fort Jackson, Guadalupe was the Resolute Support Mission director of staff at NATO headquarters and the chief of doctrine and tactics for the U.S. Army Aviation School of Excellence.

    The screwing that he’s actually going to get might cost him more than $100.00.

  • LT Michael P. Murphy memorial vandalized

    LT Michael P. Murphy memorial vandalized

    A park in Suffolk County, New York, dedicated to the memory of Navy SEAL and Medal of Honor recipient Michael P. Murphy, was vandalized this week. A $2500 reward is offered for information leading to the arrest of the vandals;

    Murphy, a Navy SEAL from Patchogue, was killed in Afghanistan during Operation Red Wings in 2005 at the age of 29. He was awarded the Medal of Honor for his heroic actions in protecting his comrades.

    “I am at a loss for words right now,” Suffolk County Legis. Bill Lindsay III wrote on his Facebook page. “The fact that LT Michael P. Murphy’s Memorial was vandalized is reprehensible.”

  • A Potential Solution to the Problem of the Badge

    Having reviewed all the complaints and angst-ridden responses to the possibilities of having to change the EIB/CIB designations from Infantryman to something else, it is safe to say that there is a solution to this problem.

    Instead of the term “Infantryman” being changed to “Infantryperson” or “Infantrytroop”, or some such other birdbrained, braindead, confoundedly idiotic notions, to make it equally applicable to all participants who qualify, the suffix –man can be changed to hominid.

    To use this term requires nothing but a slight understanding of science.

    While modern humans are, indeed, referred to as Humans, the correct scientific name is Homo sapiens. However, in today’s insufferable, smothering, and painfully politically correct environment of spoken and written terms, one cannot use the scientifically correct term ‘Homo’ as it may be mistakenly misconstrued to be an insult to gay people and those occupying all those extra sexes.

    Therefore, the term Infantryhomo could definitely draw ire and noisily angry rebuttal from both sides of the Fence of Sexuality. And of course, one cannot use Infantryhetero because it indicates that the badge earned is only applicable to those not involved in or occupying the LGBTGSGQXRT hemisphere.

    I gave this problem a good deal of consideration and thought over a PB&J sandwich last night, while my cat was begging me for some bacon crumbles after a prolonged stalk and mousekil,l and came up with a possible solution.

    The simplest and most direct way to solve this problem is presented by Science, through the application of –hominid to Infantry, resulting in Infantryhominid.

    I believe that this is completely neutral terminology.

    Now, mind you, this will be sufficient as long as we consider ourselves to be alone in the Universe. However, when we find other species who want to join with us Earthpeople in chasing down and eliminating the Bad Guys, we may have to revise that suffix again to accommodate the needs and desires of those other alien species.

    If they’re essentially Hominid in type, which is to say bipedal, upright, and manually ambidexterous, then it’s not an issue and won’t require another change of vocabulary for a while.

    But if we discover some 6-limbed, 4-legged cavalry types (centaurs) who can gallop, leap an obstacle with ease, carry a rider with a weapon, and also carry a weapon and shoot the Enemy, are we going to exclude them from the Infantry application of the badge? I think not. On the other hand, they might prefer a Cav/Infantry or Heavy Horse specialty designation, plus a personal groom.

    Will it matter if they walk, slide or ooze, as long as they can hold, aim and shoot a weapon? It should not.

    After all, if you were a sentient slime mold that can absorb and dispose of an entire platoon of the Bad Guys and still manifest good table manners in the mess hall while you’re at it, wouldn’t you want to have that acknowledged by your wearing of the Infantry badge?

    I believe that the term Infantry, which is plainly a specialty in warfare now, has been so well into the distant past, and will be so for centuries to come, should continue to have a specialty designation, regardless of the species, physical structure, or personal orientation of the Troop who is wearing it.

    Hence the suggestion of the use of Infantryhominid .

    That oughta make the snot-nosed little SJWs writhe in agony.

  • Will Nguyen; American arrested in Vietnam

    Will Nguyen; American arrested in Vietnam

    Reuters reports that Will Nguyen, an American citizen of Vietnamese extraction, has been arrested in Vietnam for participation in protests against the communist government;

    The police statement cited the indictment as saying that Nguyen incited people to protest and tried to overturn a police truck in the city, Vietnam’s economic hub.

    His lawyer is not immediately available for comment.

    Nguyen’s sister, Victoria Nguyen, said in a letter sent to the Department of State earlier this month that her brother was not violent and was a man of integrity.

    “I think we all understand that he is being condemned for something that we all know is our universal birth right: freedom of speech and expression,” Victoria Nguyen said.

    Yeah, who would have thought that a communist government would arrest people who speak freely?

    Nguyen is a grad student at the National University of Singapore, now he’s worried because he is supposed to graduate this month.

    From CNN;

    Nguyen was arrested after he asked officers to move police vehicles blocking the crowd’s path, authorities said.

    When “his request was not met,” Nguyen climbed on a police car urging others to cross through, VNA reported.

    He may be book smart, but he’s not street smart.

    Of course, it’s Trump’s fault he’ll be standing trial later this week, according to his sister;

    While Secretary Pompeo concluded his visit without commenting publicly on this case, Heather Nauert, State Department spokesperson, said in a brief statement Monday that Pompeo discussed the case with Vietnamese leaders.

    But the family of Nguyen, an American of Vietnamese descent, worry that may not be enough.

    Victoria Nguyen, William’s sister, has spearheaded a social media campaign titled ‘Free Will Nguyen’ in the weeks since her brother’s arrest. She had hoped that Pompeo’s visit would conclude with Nguyen’s release, and she is upset that this was not the case.

    “The most important part is that the State Department refused to demand his release,” she told ThinkProgress via Facebook Messenger. “Human rights are blatantly being ignored.”

    Oh,no! It’s the first time in human history that a communist government ignored human rights.

    The phony Vietnam War veteran, demands that Vietnam release Nguyen;

    Nguyen was forced to make a public apology, according to the Washington Post;

    On Tuesday, the Agence France-Presse reported that Nguyen confessed on state-controlled television.

    “I understand that my acts violated [the law] .?.?. I regret that I caused trouble for people heading to the airport. I blocked traffic and caused trouble to my family and friends,” Nguyen said, according to the report. Vietnamese authorities have been accused by human-rights groups of extracting forced public confessions, the AFP reported.

    William and Victoria’s mother, Vicky, fled Saigon four years after Vietnamese communist forces captured the city in 1975 and settled in Houston, Victoria Nguyen said. Their fraught family history inspired William Nguyen to study Vietnam at Yale University and to visit the country numerous times.

    Extra dumbass points are awarded for returning to a country his mother fled.

  • Sacha Baron Cohen’s Stolen Valor

    Sacha Baron Cohen’s Stolen Valor

    Folks are coming out of the woodwork exposing Sacha Baron Cohen for his latest buffoonery pretending to be an injured veteran, complete with wheelchair, for his new show on Showtime. In this persona, Cohen interviewed Sarah Palin, Dick Cheney and former Congressman Joe Walsh.

    Yesterday, Sarah Palin wrote a blog post claiming that Cohen disguised himself as a disabled veteran for an interview with her and calling Cohen’s humor “evil, exploitive, sick.” Now congressman turned radio host Joe Walsh has shared his own experience. Walsh says Cohen’s team flew him to D.C. and booked him a hotel room for a fake pro-Israel event that honored him with an award for his “Significant Contributions to the State of Israel.”

    From The Hollywood Reporter;

    “Out of respect for what I was led to believe would be a thoughtful discussion with someone who had served in uniform, I sat through a long ‘interview’ full of Hollywoodism’s disrespect and sarcasm — but finally had enough and literally, physically removed my mic and walked out, much to Cohen’s chagrin,” Palin elaborated. “The disrespect of our U.S. military and middle-class Americans via Cohen’s foreign commentaries under the guise of interview questions was perverse.”

    Palin, who served as the ninth Governor of Alaska from 2006 until her resignation in 2009, then offered a “challenge” to Cohen, CBS and Showtime.

    “Donate all proceeds to a charitable group that actually respects and supports American Vets. Mock politicians and innocent public personalities all you want, if that lets you sleep at night, but HOW DARE YOU mock those who have fought and served our country,” she wrote, adding, “Truly sick.”

    Palin also claimed that “the Cohen/CBS/Showtime production team purposefully dropped my daughter and me off at the wrong Washington, DC airport after the fake interview, knowing we’d miss all flights back home to Alaska.” She added, “I wrote this off as yet another example of the sick nature that is media-slash-entertainment today.”

    […]

    In a teaser for Cohen’s satirical half-hour series, released via Instagram, the comic — presumably in character — can be heard asking former Vice President Dick Cheney to sign his “waterboard kit.” Cheney is seen signing something and then jokes, “That’s the first time I’ve ever signed a waterboard.”

    Of course, Showtime says that Cohen is a comedy genius “who shocks you with his audacity, bravery and inventiveness” when, in truth, he’s just another drone playing to the Hollywood crowd.

  • First four soccer players rescued from Thai cave

    First four soccer players rescued from Thai cave

    Fox News reports that the first four teen soccer players have been rescued by Thai SEALs from their cavern prison;

    The conditions of the boys were not released, but the head of joint command center coordinating the search said he met with the children and described them as being in “perfect” health and called today’s mission the “best situation.”

    “The operation went much better than expected,” Narongsak said about the rescue, which began at 10 a.m. Sunday local time.

    Officials estimated the first phase of the rescue would take 12 hours, giving the divers six hours into the cave and back.

    Sunday’s mission, however, took 7 hours and 40 minutes.

    Saman Kunan, a retired Thai SEAL has lost his life during the rescue mission;

    The deceased volunteer rescuer, identified as Saman Kunan, 38, was returning at about 1 a.m. from the chamber where the boys are trapped when he ran out of oxygen, passed out and died. Kunan had left the SEALs in 2006 to work at Bangkok’s airport as an emergency rescue officer.

    For the cave rescue, he was part of a team trying to establish an air line to the chamber where the children and their coach are holed up. Kunan’s body will be flown to his hometown of Roi Et for a royally-sponsored funereal, the king of Thailand announced.

    They should bury the soccer coach alongside him…alive.

  • CT convicts Jeffery Sumpter, assault victim

    CT convicts Jeffery Sumpter, assault victim

    AnotherPat sends us a link from Fox News which tells the story of 21-year-old Jeffery Sumpter who was convicted in Connecticut court for stabbing in the leg one of three criminals who jumped him at his job at Dunkin’ Donuts;

    “I was defending myself,” Sumpter said during the hearing.

    Judge John Blawie told Sumpter that he believed his version of events, but had to follow the letter of the law.

    Under Connecticut law, assault victims cannot use deadly force if they are able to retreat from their attackers.

    Sumpter was convicted of felony first-degree assault, sentenced to eighteen months in prison and three years probation. I would be an ex-Connecticut resident yesterday. What a shithole.

  • Therese Okoumou; Abolish ICE

    Therese Okoumou; Abolish ICE

    Therese Okoumou climbed the feet of the Statue of Liberty yesterday to protest the Trump immigration policy that has been in effect through the last three presidential administrations. Her stunt resulted in an end to planned July 4th festivities on Liberty Island according to the New York Post;

    Cops say Therese Patricia Okoumou — a 44-year-old immigrant from the Democratic Republic of the Congo — was the person responsible for the Fourth of July protest.

    She lives in the St. George neighborhood of Staten Island and is currently in federal custody, according to police sources.

    Officers from the NYPD’s Emergency Service Unit transported her to a federal detention center Wednesday night following her three-hour standoff with authorities. Her case is being handled by prosecutors in the Southern District of New York.

    Sources said Okoumou told investigators she climbed up to the feet of Lady Liberty to protest President Trump’s “zero tolerance” policy on immigration and the separation of families at the border.

    From The Washington Times;

    Regardless of her status, she and a group of self-styled “resistance” members ruined Independence Day celebrations for numerous New Yorkers and tourists. After about six were arrested for unfurling a banner calling for the immigration-enforcement agency to be abolished, her bid to scale the statue and refusal to come down prompted the National Park Service to shut the park down for the rest of the afternoon.

    Despite pleas that she come down from the side of the statue, according to NBC News, Ms. Okoumou said she wouldn’t until all the immigrant children detained by ICE have been released.

    She’ll face numerous misdemeanor charges in Federal court today.