This ain't Hell, but you can see it from here

Category: Pointless blather

  • You Hear Talk About “Weapons-Grade Chili” . . . .

    . . . but this is the first time I’ve ever actually seen an account that actually might qualify.

    A customer at a restaurant in Australia was disturbed about the bill for his meal.  So he decided to take matters into his own hands.

    After an arguing with restaurant employees about his bill, he went behind the counter and attempted to get money from the cash register.  One of the employees went to another part of the restaurant to call authorities.  The second tried to restrain the man.

    The man struck the second employee in the chest, and tossed the cash register on the floor.

    Bad move.  The second employee – 27 y/o Joanna Tarnosk – defended herself by throwing a vat of hot chili in the man’s face.

    Apparently it really was weapons-grade chili.  The man was still on the floor when police arrived.

    The man was arrested, taken to a hospital, treated for minor burns – and then was arrested and charged with assault and “intent to steal”.

    The chili sauce was said by employees to be “a secret recipe and a specialty at the restaurant”.

  • Five Young Men

    In the Northeastern US, five boys grew to be young men.  Their families were of Eastern European heritage.  They, however, were all born in this country as first-generation Americans.

    Three of them were brothers.  Two were not related – either to the brothers or each other – at the time.  They would later come be related to the three brothers, and to each other, by marriage.

    All of them were born relatively early in the 20th Century – during the 1910s and 1920s.  They grew up during the Great Depression.  All of them were young men on 7 December 1941.

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  • A Modest Proposal

    As we all know, the proposed Distinguished Warfare Medal (DWM) has been canned by the SECDEF.  Instead, the SECDEF has decided that existing decorations will instead be used, augmented by a yet-to-be determined “distinguishing device”.

    Allow me to suggest an appropriate device.  I believe the letter “R” is appropriate as a distinguishing device to recognize such service as was to be recognized by the now-defunct DWM.

    Here’s my rationale: like the now-defunct DWM, the new device will recognize the contributions of the operators of Remotely Piloted Vehicles (RPVs) and cyber operators to modern warfare.  Each of these specialties allows military force to be directed and executed remotely – from hundreds or even thousands of miles away.  One no longer needs to risk life and limb personally in a combat zone in order to contribute to the fight.  This merits appropriate recognition.

    These individuals are clearly directing the Remote Execution of Military Force. The letter “R” is an appropriate recognition of excellence in the application of this new capability.

    I also propose that the new device be called the “Remote Execution of Military Force Device”.  Since that’s a bit of a mouthful, we’ll refer to it by its acronym, of course:

    the “REMF device”

    Yeah, IMO that sounds about right.

  • Folks, You Just Ain’t Gonna Believe This Sh. . . .

    TAH readers have heard about the Denver brewery that made Rocky Mountain Oyster Stout famous.  Well, they’ve been outdone.

    I do not recommend clicking the links which follow if you’re eating, are about to, or just ate.

    Provided without comment, except to say that I don’t care how thirsty I am:  OH HELL NO.

    Ditto goes for their coffee produced via the same process.  I could be coming off 72-hrs straight without sleep with 24 more to go, no coffee for a week before that, and needing to personally handle explosives in the next hour – and the answer on that is still OH HELL NO, too.

    PT Barnum was definitely right.

  • The TAH “Playlist From Hell”

    OK, we’ve weeded out those that were “NO GOs”, the near misses, and those that were “saved by the bell” due to having some kind of redeeming factor.  Now it’s time for the TAH Playlist From Hell.

    These are the audio and/or video clips that are truly, remarkably bad.  They’re the ones bad enough to make you want to pour bleach in your eyes and jam a pencil in both ears after you’ve seen them.

    I must say I’m a bit surprised that no one suggested Frankie Goes to Hollywood’s “Relax” (especially the original video version that was filmed in a gay S&M bar and which no one would screen because it was so hugely disturbing – it’s out there on YouTube) or Nine Inch Nails’ “Like an Animal” “Closer”.  Or maybe Michael Murphy’s “Wildfire” or Gerry Rafferty’s “Baker Street”.  Or something from Pat Boone’s “In a Metal Mood”.  Or . . .

    Ah, the hell with it.  There are probably a bunch of others out there that are just as bad (or worse) that I didn’t think of either.  In any case, I think what follows is a worthy Playlist From Hell.

    No rank-ordering of items here is intended or implied.  They’re pretty much in order of submission.

    And they’re all . . . bad.  Really, really bad.

    Without further fanfare, I give you der Würst:  the TAH Playlist From Hell.

     

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  • Gimme Yer Worst – “Saved By the Bell”

    The penultimate list follows.  These were all mondo bad – and as at least one TAH commenter put it, some of them even pegged the proverbial “gaydar” – but all IMO had some redeeming value that kept them off the Playlist From Hell.

    Here ya go – the list of suggestions that was “saved by the bell”:

     

    Submitted by Ex-PH2:  Cheerleading (Fatherhood Involvement)

    http://www.bing.com/videos/search?q=fatherhood.gov+cheerleader&mid=627C3BFE3D4DB7305D58627C3BFE3D4DB7305D58&view=detail&FORM=VIRE2

    Rationale:  Way too funny for any Playlist From Hell.

     

    Twist:  Toni Basil – Micky

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LSfnopkT37I

    Discussion:  Yeah, the tune is bad – bad enough to make you want to jam pencils in your ears.  But the video has some nice eye candy (for guys, anyway).  Eye candy was good enough IMO to keep it off the PFH – barely.

     

    Submitted by Twist:  1985 Chicago Bears – Super Bowl Shuffle

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2B74ii2F0Bw

    Rationale:  Too much of a “period piece”, not a serious musical effort – and too much humor value.

     

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  • Gimme Yer Worst – The Near Misses

    Well, here’s the next batch.  These submissions were all arguably bad, but IMO just weren’t really bad enough for a Playlist From Hell.

    So without further fanfare, we have the near-misses:

     

    Submitted by Red6:  Chuggo

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZPeHk4WMWpY  (NSFW)

    Rationale:  Pretty bad.  But not bad enough.

     

    Submitted by  Flagwaver:  I Can’t Decide – Scissor Sisters

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ksYBhM-ALBQ

    Rationale:  Just not really bad enough for a Playlist From Hell.

     

    Submitted by mattinnc:  Justin Bieber – Baby Ft Ludacris

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kffacxfA7G4

    Rationale:  Don’t much like the guy, either, mattinnc – but the song ain’t bad, even if it’s being sung by a twerp.  It’s just not bad enough for any Playlist from Hell.

     

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  • Gimme Yer Worst – the “NO-GOs”

    Well, here’s my first “bin” of suggestions for the TAH Playlist From Hell.  It’s actually two lists – suggestions that were Not Considered and those that were considered, but which I found Not Appropriate.  Together, they form the playlist “NO GOs”.

    . . .

    Not Considered

     

    Submitted by Old 21B:  Ten hours of Pink Fluffy Unicorns Dancing on Rainbows!

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ky3Ordfqn88

    Submitted by PFDRbrendan:  10 Hours of He-Man Hey-ah Hey-ah

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eh7lp9umG2I

    Submitted by Aysel:  10 Hours of Nyan Cat

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wZZ7oFKsKzY

    Rationale:  Sorry, folks, but nothing made by looping the same shorter bit for 10 freaking hours got considered (or watched end-to-end, either).  That’s true no matter how damn bad it was – and a quick look at the first minute more or less shows these are all pretty damn bad.  However, as others have said they all might be useful at GTMO . . . .

     

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