More details can be found in this story from the Army Times.
Damn well done, guys. Congrats.
Category: Pointless blather
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If You’re Wondering Why France Wants to Get Involved in Syria . . .
. . . maybe this photo explains it.
Yeah, that photo really is President François Gérard Georges Nicolas Hollande of France. (smile)
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I Don’ Know
Now I don’ know
I don’ know
I don’ know if I can keep my cool
When de next poser showWell let me hear ya now
I don’ know
I don’ know
I don’ know if I can keep my cool
When de next poser showPosers showin’ up ev’ry day
Get so bad take my breath away
Some damn clown up in de sky
Say when drunk he try to flyHey I don’ know
I don’ know
I don’ know if I can keep my cool
When de next poser showNow my girl she say out loud
What they did should make them proud
Lies they tell ’bout where they fought
Stories so bogus we believe ‘a them notSee I don’ know
I don’ know
I don’ know if I can keep my cool
When de next poser show“Hey Colonel Crochrot”
They no care what honor worth
They just want prestige on earth
Where they end up will be hot
And Devil will pity them notHey I don’ know
I don’ know
I don’ know if I can keep my cool
When de next poser showNow I don’ want to hear ‘bout Leg-man Liar
Don’t want to hear ‘bout GI Duck
Don’t want to hear ‘bout phony Rangers
All posers my dong can suck (no no no)Don’t want to hear ‘bout Dildo-man yo
Or ‘bout some lyin’ old Big Dog (no no no)
Don’t want to hear ‘bout phony SEALs no
They can all go French-kiss a hog (no no no)Don’t want to hear ‘bout guys with Weak-knees
Don’t want to hear ‘bout Monk so crass (no no no)
Don’t want to hear ‘bout no more posers
They can all come and kiss my assOh I don’ know
I don’ know
I don’ know if I can keep my cool
When the next poser showWith apologies to Jimmy Buffett, Keith Sykes, and Harry Dailey – who wrote the original tune (Volcano).
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If You Think DC Stinks . . . .
. . . today, you’re more correct than usual. Yesterday a titan arum – a huge tropical plant often referred to as the “corpse flower” – began blooming at the US Botanic Garden.
The “corpse flower” by all accounts smells like rotting flesh. It’s expected to be at “peak stench” today, and to continue blooming for a day or two.
So today, if you think you smell something foul wafting your way from DC – you just might. And this time the stench might be coming from something other than the Federal bureaucracy or lobbyists. (Smile)
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Wipe Like a Man
Thanks to Michael Shlitz for bringing this awesomeness to my attention. I think you’ll all agree this is the most many S**t paper commercial ever. One Wipe Charlies.
Now that you’ve seen the video let me put out a few thoughts. First, and foremost, there is nothing more terrible than having a Baghdad Blowout when your on over-watch and your ass wipe is in the OP 300 meters away. I’ve had to attempt to use Arab “toilets” more than once and it is the worst feeling in the world to unconsciously reach over to where the TP should be and find nothing there. That is a shitty day my friends, and I will not talk about my improvised solution. Not cool is all I’ll say.
Second, anyone whose ever had Mermite every other meal with MRE’s making up the difference will tell you, it is the most horrible feeling in the world to have a rock hard log with a massive tsunami waiting to break behind it. Giving birth, then pissing out your ass (POMA) only to realize that all you have are those little Kleenex packets that come in the MRE to wipe away the foulness makes you realize the devil must somehow been involved. You also tend to realize that more than POGie bait, more than extra batteries, more that something shiny to keep the LT occupied, the one thing that you want with you is asswipe. Not just any ass wipe though. The strongest most rock hard SOB of an infantryman will tell you, when diarrhea eventually sets in (it always does) you want your ass feeling like it was wiped with silk.
Third, I’m not endorsing the product here at all, I just thought that the video was funny as hell. Having said that, I’ve used “Hoah wipes” and “anti-monkey butt” and all sorts of products like that. I think it’s important for soldiers to test out various products and figure out what works and what doesn’t. I also think it’s great that there are companies that realize the realities of the field and try to make products to accommodate those needs. Field sanitation and comfort don’t always have to be mutually exclusive. There’s all sorts of things that I learned (like wearing hoes on a long ruck march) that any good NCO will pass on to his or her troops. The job requires that we go to miserable s**tty places and live in conditions that are worse than the “cruel and unusual punishment” that gets inmates released out of California prisons. Even the slightest bit of comfort can make or break a deployment/Field op. So I say good on to anyone that attempts to come up with something that can be used for said purpose.
Lastly, I’m so glad to see manly commercials making a comeback. Seeing commercials of men so stupid that they walk into sliding doors or set themselves on fire while barbequing are getting pretty F**king old. It’s bad enough I’m expected by society to willingly sign a hand receipt for my testicles whenever there’s a change of command in Girlfriend Command (GIRFRICOM), I don’t need to be bombarded with clips making me out to be the biggest retard that ever lived just because I happen to be a dude. I’m sick of pastel colors, calming yoga poses, and commercials about how a certain type of yogurt will make Jamie Lee Curtis have a better defecation experience. Every once in a while I want to see a guy shaving with a chain saw for no apparent reason. Why? WHO CARES?!?! We’re men, we do stuff like that (well maybe not THAT). It’s nice for add agencies to remember that hey, there’s this whole other group of people that buy stuff, and they don’t happen to be soccer moms. Or women.
Hope y’all have a good week. Go forth and do Awesome.
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Yo, Mister Mayor – I Got Yer Breakfast Right Here!
Dunkin’ Donuts has announced it’s adding a fried egg and bacon on glazed donut breakfast sandwich to its breakfast menu. According to the Dunkin’ Donuts website, the new sandwich will be available starting Friday, 7 June – National Donut Day. It is to become a permanent part of the Dunkin’ Donuts breakfast menu.
There was no immediate comment noted from Mayor Bloomberg of NYC.
I wonder if they’ll call it a “Bloomie” in Manhattan? (smile)
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A “Blast” from the Past – Yer Friday Afternoon Funny
Figuratively, anyway.
I was looking through some old e-mail the other day and found this. It’s something that was forwarded to me while I was in theater a few years ago.
When I first read it, I have to admit that I laughed so hard that I nearly fell out of my chair. It’s one of the funniest bits of bathroom humor I’ve ever read. (Yeah, ladies – we guys are kinda strange that way.) And we could really use a good laugh sometimes in-theater, so it was much appreciated.
The full text (less e-mail headers) is presented below the break. I’ve done some re-formatting for display, but other than that haven’t changed the text. I’d guess the original author was likely British and had an engineering or other technical background.
Read or not as you see fit. Fair warning: it’s bathroom humor and contains a crude word or two.
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An Interesting Musical Perspective
Saw this and smiled. Then I thought MCPO NYC USN (Ret.) – and a few other regulars here at TAH – might get a chuckle out of it too.
Remember that Korean rapper “Psy”? The one responsible for “Gangnam Style” – along with some truly vile anti-American crap from several years ago? And who later issued an obviously “crocodile tears” apology for his earlier garbage when he got invited to perform for the POTUS, claiming his previous anti-American screed was just a “deeply emotional reaction to the war in Iraq”?
Well, it seems as if some folks in the US music industry just aren’t Psy’s fans. In particular, the outspoken lead singer for the group Green Day – Billie Joe Armstrong – doesn’t seem to be.
On his Instagram account, Armstrong recently wrote (referring to Psy):
“This dude is the herpes of music. Once you think it’s gone, it comes back.”
Can’t say I’ve ever been that much of a Green Day fan. But after reading the above I just might have to give them another listen.