This ain't Hell, but you can see it from here

Category: Pointless blather

  • Well, The Formula Did Need to Be Completed

    Something recently reminded me of a military training class I was in many years ago – taught in the Army – concerning field first aid.  Like most, it was pretty much your standard, boring Army class.  But it did have one moment that made it an absolute gem.

    The instructor was going over how to estimate how much of a burn casualty’s skin had been affected.  He taught us the “rule of nines” for doing that.

    For those who might not be familiar with it, the “rule of nines” works as follows.  Different parts of the body are each assigned a fixed number of “nines”.  Each arm is assigned one “nine”; each leg, two “nines”.  The front of the torso is similarly assigned two “nines”; ditto the back and buttocks.  Finally, the head and neck is assigned one “nine”.

    A “nine” is short for “9 percent” – as in 9% of a person’s total skin area. So each arm is 9% of the average person’s skin; the head and neck, also 9%. A leg, front of torso, or back and buttocks each have 2 nines – so they’re each 18% of the average individual’s total skin area.

    It’s a quick and dirty rule, and isn’t always perfectly accurate. But it’s apparently generally fairly close.  And when you’ve got to estimate quickly how much of an individual is burned, it’s certainly better than making a wild-ass guess.

    Well, there’s one in every crowd – and the instructor had been through this a few times before. So before anyone could do the math and ask, he then said the following.

    “Now, I know some of you have probably totaled that up, and came up with 99%. That’s correct. There’s 1% left over.”

    What followed was IMO one of the true “money lines” of all time.  The instructor then smiled slightly, and said, matter-of-factly and with a straight face:

    “Now, I don’t care if you’re John Homes – 1% is enough.”

    Thirty-plus years later, I couldn’t tell you a damn thing about the rest of that class.  But I can sure as hell still remember the “rule of nines”.

    Thank God I’ve never had to use it.

  • Remembrance of Elections Past

    In “loving” memory of the Duke of Duval, Landslide Lyndon, Da Mayor and his Daley Machine, JFK/1960 – and with apologies to the late Warren Zevon:

     

    They Vote When They’re Dead

    There’s plenty to do after they buy the farm
    They vote when they’re dead
    Who says it’s wrong? This will protect our cause from harm
    They vote when they’re dead

    The election judges all are bombed on gin
    They vote when they’re dead
    Election results, they’re twisted again
    They vote when they’re dead

    Well, they “cast” their votes just as prescribed
    They vote when they’re dead
    And if that don’t work, then somebody gets bribed
    They vote when they’re dead

    I’ve got a .38 special up on the shelf
    They vote when they’re dead
    If our side don’t win, maybe I’ll shoot myself
    They vote when they’re dead

    There’s plenty to do after they buy the farm
    They vote when they’re dead
    Who says it’s wrong? This will protect our cause from harm
    They vote when they’re dead

     

    Remember that “progressive” mantra, everyone: Make sure you register to vote. Then vote early, vote often – vote forever!

    . . .

    PS: Just in case you’re having trouble recognizing the tune – here’s the original.

  • Life Can Be . . . Complicated

    Life can be damned hard, and complex. That’s certainly no secret.

    Relationships are part of life – and they can be damned hard and complex, too. That’s certainly no secret either. Even when someone’s strongly committed to being faithful, temptations happen.

    IMO, these guys managed to capture that whole confused, messed-up situation just about as perfectly as I’ve ever found. Whether you’ve managed to avoid getting caught-up in a nasty situation along these lines or not, I think everyone can relate. Because I’m going out on a limb here and saying that somewhere along the way, everyone’s been tempted. Humans are, after all . . . human.



    There’s no hidden message here; no confessions, no accusations, no judgments, nada. Only rarely do songs capture a truly complicated time, place, or human situation damn near perfectly. IMO this is one such tune; it’s one I thought worth a listen. And since the situation is pretty damn common if not universal, I thought it was worth sharing it here.

    That’s the end of today’s ramble. We now return you to your regular TAH programming. (smile)

  • No Call to Answer

    Another ramble – a brief one this time.  You’ve been forewarned.

    . . .

    Some songs appeal intellectually through meaningful or witty lyrics. Others do so through stirring music. Sometimes it’s a combination of the two that hits home.

    But I think the songs that make the deepest impression are those that touch us emotionally. What makes such a connection varies from person to person. That’s understandable; we’re all different and have different experiences, likes, and desires.

    When a song makes that emotional connection deeply and accurately, it can move you greatly – even years after you first hear it. Couple that with quality lyrics and well-crafted music, and you have a song you’ll literally never forget.

    For me, this is one such song. It’s not particularly well known; it wasn’t a hit. But I have to admit it can move me nearly to tears most every time I hear it.

    IMO it works on a number of levels. It works for a friendship gone bad, then reconciled; ditto for a romantic relationship that ends, then resumes. It fits the return of a prodigal son (or daughter). Indeed, IMO it works for most any type of estrangement/falling-out that those involved elect to try and overcome – regardless of the reason, or the gender(s) of those involved.  It also works, albeit perhaps not as well, for estrangements that are never overcome.

    Paridoxically, it also fits the situation of having someone close who’s on a protracted “final approach” – all too well, unfortunately.  Trust me on that.

    Below is a YouTube clip (audio only) of the tune in question; it’s the original version. If you think you might prefer a male/female duet, such a version can be found here. That version is good, too.


     

    RIP, Dad.  We still miss you.

    . . .

    That’s all for today.  Heading back to . . . wherever.

  • Talk About Bad Timing

    Headline from the cover of the issue of Dallas Weekly magazine released on 25 September:

     “Taste of Africa Comes to Dallas”

    Seriously.

    Yeah, the timing on that one . . . kinda sucks.  They obviously didn’t have a working crystal ball.

  • Yeah, I Think That Sign Could Use a “Do-Over”

    The UK’s Telegraph Travel might not be able to see a problem.  But I think I can.

  • THIS Kind of “Green” Initiative I Can Stomach!

    In order to minimize damage to a Medieval Belgian town’s environment, one Belgian brewery is doing its part.  In order to preserve the town’s ambiance – and reduce truck traffic, emissions, and pollution – the De Halve Maan brewery is building a 2-mile beer pipeline to get its product to the nearby factory that bottles it.

    Yes, you read that correctly.  A beer pipeline.  And it will handle 1,500 gallons per hour.

    Now, that’s one “green” project I can support!  Think we can get them to run a branch line this way – for QC purposes?  (smile)

  • White Horses

    Seeing TSO’s article from last night regarding the ongoing Left Coast “Saga of Teh Stoopid” reminded me of something I’ve been pondering for a while. So since Jonn lets me wax foolish here from time to time, I decided I’d share it.

    Yeah, that means I’m about to ramble “off the res” a bit again. Consider yourselves warned. (smile)

    . . .

    TSO ended his article with a lyric from Emerson, Lake, and Palmer – ELP, for short. It was thoroughly apropos for his purposes.

    But it brings to mind another tune from ELP. And I’d guess that one resonates even more strongly, if perhaps a bit ambiguously, with many of TAH’s readers.

    The tune is Lucky Man. For those readers who might be unfamiliar with it, I’ve linked a clip below.

    Released in 1970, the song was not written to protest the Vietnam War – though many at the time and since doubtless took it to be exactly that. Greg Lake, the song’s author, wrote in 1959-1960, when he was 12 years old. It sat unrecorded until the sessions for ELP’s first album – and ended up on that self-titled record.

    It’s not a typical ELP tune.  It’s written more-or-less as a piece from an English Medieval traveling minstrel, updated to be more modern lyrically.  Lake wrote it on and for the acoustic guitar.

    On the surface, the song addresses the futility of war and the waste of life inherent in same. A man who “had everything” goes to war and loses it all when he’s killed in battle. It makes a powerful, if perhaps unintended, anti-war statement.   Many doubtless see the tune as a paean for pacifism.

    And yet . . . I think most of us who’ve served may view it a bit differently.

    In the song, yes – the main character dies. And he’s understandably sad on realizing he’s about to die.

    But consider:  he dies voluntarily. He dies while serving a cause greater than himself. And he dies doing his duty to that greater cause – in this case, his nation.

    His nation called. He answered. It cost him dearly.  But he died honorably and true to himself nonetheless.

    Each of us who has served has given that possibility some thought. Anyone who’s served and hasn’t (or didn’t) is IMO a complete and utter fool.

    And anyone who’s served voluntarily has decided – implicitly or explicitly – “I’m OK with that”.

    . . .

    Anyway, my take is this: yes, the story is sad. Life is sad sometimes. Not all stories have happy endings.

    But in at least one respect, IMO the title is apropos. The man in question’s life was forfeit while serving a cause that mattered. He spent his life willingly. While not perhaps the end he wanted, he went out on his own terms while doing what he wanted to do.  The ending to his life was honorable.

    Some aren’t so lucky. They never do anything meaningful in their lives. They never serve a cause larger than themselves.   And whatever they do, it’s about their wants and needs – not about serving a greater cause.

    So you tell me: was the man lucky? I don’t know. Everyone has to decide that for themselves. I’ve got somewhat mixed feelings personally.

    But on balance, I’d have to say – yes he was. He died doing his duty, voluntarily serving his nation.  He died doing something that mattered.

    I’d guess many of our readers feel the same.

    . . .

    Enough rambling for today.  Heading back to the res.