Author: TSO

Seriously, Day 1 was an EXACT TIE between Diliberto and Mailahn.  Who says every vote doesn’t count. 

As a reminder, each day you will be able to vote. The weekly VOTE total (not average of the percent) will win. The math is easier for me that way. So, vote 5 times, and on Friday I will add them all up.

5 Jonathan “The Cock Inhaler” Sharkey v.
15 Timothy “Durango + Delta = Douchebag” Oliver

2 Jake “I rethunk whether I was in Astan” Diliberto v.
2 Ron “Gunny Driveway” Mailahn

HERE ARE THE BIOS FROM LAST WEEK IF YOU NEED MORE RESEARCH. VOTING BEGINS BELOW.
(more…)

Day 1 on Mailahn/Diliberto:

Yeah, so this one might be close.

Well, we made it to the Fecal Four. All the pretenders are gone, and only the contenders remain. (Paradoxically perhaps, all the contenders are consummate pretenders.)

Each day you will be able to vote. The weekly VOTE total (not average of the percent) will win. The math is easier for me that way. So, vote 5 times, and on Friday I will add them all up.

 5 Jonathan “The Cock Inhaler” Sharkey v.
15 Timothy “Durango + Delta = Douchebag” Oliver

2 Jake “I rethunk whether I was in Astan” Diliberto v.
2 Ron “Gunny Driveway” Mailahn

HERE ARE THE BIOS FROM LAST WEEK IF YOU NEED MORE RESEARCH. VOTING BEGINS BELOW.
(more…)

Sharkey the Pooh and the Stolen Valor Honey Pot

 

Sharkey the Pooh was a failure at everything he did.  He failed at wrestling, politics, movies and kidnapping.  And so he tried to think of what he could do.  But he was a pooh with a very little brain, so when he thought, he thought in the most thoughtful way he could think.  So he looked in the mirror and thought.

“My God am I fat” he proclaimed.  “Maybe it’s all these burgers I eat.  Before I think, I should work off this lard!”

Up, down, up
When I up, down and touch the ground
It puts me in the mood
Up, down and touch the ground
In the mood for food
I am stout, round and I have found
Speaking poundage wise
I improve my appetite
When I exercise
I am short, fat and proud of that
And so, with all my might
I up, down and up and down
To my appetite’s delight
While I up, down and touch the ground
I think of things to chew, like honey
With a hefty happy appetite, I’m a hefty happy Pooh
With a hefty happy appetite, he’s a hefty happy Pooh

“I know” he cried!  “I’ll steal the honey pot of valor that other folks toiled for!”

And so he did. Before moving to Russia because he thinks Putin is the shit.

But this made Eeyore sad, because he didn’t have a tail tale of his own.  SO he asked his friends to help him find one.

In the end, he just went on Larry King and lied about being in Iraq and Afghanistan.  Because he’s a liar and that’s what they do. 

Fibber is a friend of Eeyore and Pooh’s and he felt sad that they had awesome histories, so he bounced…and he bounced….and he bounced.  And he landed on his head.  Undeterred, he sang to the Durango Herald reporter, saying

The wonderful thing about Fibbers
Is we are wonderful things!
Their tops are made out of rubber
Their bottoms are made out of springs!
I jumped out of an airplane over Kandahar,
Almost as high as the stars.
Cause Delta’s are bouncy, trouncy, flouncy, pouncy
Fun, fun, fun, fun, fun!
But the most wonderful thing about Delta’s with Pony Tails is
I’m the only one

And then Fibber married a chick who claimed to be a lawyer and she sued the shit out of everyone in Poohville.

But Piglet is Sharkey the Pooh’s  closest friend amongst all the animals, and despite the fact that he is a “Very Small Animal” of a generally timid disposition, he tries to be brave and on occasion conquers his fears.  Once he got so brave that he stole money from a girls softball league.  He also takes naughty pictures of people whom he ties up.  But, since I promised this dumbass post at noon, and it is now 11:47, you get a video of Mailahn Piglet’s big race.

The End.

Pictures by Sniper, Story by Me, apologies to Mr. Milne, and results were as follows:

Sharkey def. Truitt 58/42
Oliver def. Fatty 56/44
Diliberto def. Wilson 69.5/30.5
Mailahn def. Poe 51.4/48.6

Thank God (Yahweh to my Zionist overlords) for Veterans Today and Gordon Duff, who is a one stop shop for hilarity. Seriously, I love this dude with my huge Zionist heart.

The election in the US is likely to turn violent. We hear things like this but there is actual mobilization and very real terror warnings out tied to the election.

Romney is so far behind, there has been nothing like this in US history.

Wait, what? Yeah, he’s so far behind that Rassmussen has him up by 4. (That poll was paid for with dirty Zionist Diamond Trade money no doubt.)

Tell me more….

The problem is, world organized crime is behind Romney. Bain has now been tracked to Africa, involvement in the blood diamond trade which is tied to arms and drugs, an explanation as to why so many bank accounts.

One of the groups paralleling his activities in Africa originated in Zimbabwe and has been involved in the development of germ warfare and the actual release of both ebola and influenza strains, not just in Africa but other areas much much closer to home.

Links? Those are for suckers, Gordo doesn’t need proof, he discovered it by staring at goats.

Out of fear of retribution (Obama is not so harmless himself) a large scale blackmail operation, worldwide, to raise funds and gain endorsements is going on.

Look for new endorsements and you will have a list of people with hidden police records of drug use and sales, sex crimes, even murder.

There is so much of this going on with the Romney backers, particularly those in Africa, officially “white supremacists” and in a certain area of the Middle East recently visited that the tabloids could be filled for a decade.

But how will the end come Gordo? Bang or a whisper?

What we have are a number of coastal military commands moving equipment, relocating, leaking announced plans for closure, if this is a “drill,” it is the strangest one in history.

For a bit of closure, two other issues need mentioning. Communications in the US are either suffering from the worst solar flares in history or something sinister is going on.

No guessing from me on this one.

Yes, Romney controls the sun. Think about it. Romney is just his Mormon/Zionazi name. He used to be “Mitt Ramanoodleman” which means he who eats many Raman Noodles. However, it is also a nod to his past life, when he was “Ra” the sun God.

Think about it people. Wake up and act before the next false flag operation that no one will know about unless Gordo tells us how the Sears Tower (not named that anymore since the Zionists took over) was destroyed with Nuclear weapons and rebuilt in an afternoon my Ramanoodleman.

After 100 votes it was 49/51.

So, now would be the time to mobilize your side if you are so inclined.

This week’s non-profit is Cooking With The Troops (CWTT). Cooking with the Troops is a 501(c)(3) charity that supports U.S. and Allied troops, their families, and caregivers worldwide. Our mission is to provide comfort, nutrition, and hope through four major programs: Food Events, Careers, Homefront Support and Frontline Support. Go and toss them a few Talents.

Who will be the last of our Fecal Four?

1 Tim “Stuttering Jackass” Poe v.
2 Ron “Gunny Driveway” Mailahn

POE

Tale of the Stolen Valor Tape: “I had volunteered for a team to go out and clear buildings and help out with the wounded.  There was a guy who come up with a rocket-propelled grenade. I saw it coming down, and by the time I turned and went to jump on top of my guys, I yelled `grenade’ and the blast had hit me.” And he developed a stutter

Actual: MNNG: “Sgt. Poe’s official military records do not indicate that he was injured by a grenade in combat while serving in Afghanistan in 2009, as he reports. The Minnesota National Guard can also confirm that he was not awarded the Purple Heart Medal for wounds sustained in combat.”

Intangibles: Cried on National TV.

“I don’t feel like I’ve lied. That’s what’s driving me crazy, because I truly thought things have happened to me. I’m thinking, why have I for the last, over two years, believed things have happened to me and they might not have?”

Howard Stern:

You could be the most f—ed up liar on the planet, but you never lie about your military service.  This lie is so wrong on so many levels. This really sickens me.

When Howard Stern says you are the most effed up liar on the planet, you really have something special going on.

 

MAILAHN

Tale of the Stolen Valor Tape: The Youngest Sergeant Major in the history of the Marine Corps. 

Actual: “I admit I was not in the corps but I did serve in the army I said I was in the corps cause a lot of my friends that was made fun of the army I was wrong in doing so very wrong now that I admited to this please take my name off your web page and could u send this to the hell website and have them remove this off there site as well I just want to live my life this lie has caused me to lose jobs due to the fact it was on the web and I don’t need to lose anymore job opperinitys u have my permission to post this on the site
Ronad Mailahn Jr”

Yes, he really wrote that his name is Ronad.

Intangibles:

Hog ties his girlfriend, and publishes the pictures. 

U can put me on all the websites u want that will be more money for me when I sue
I sent this and the other website to my attorney
John this is called harsment I will be sending this email and the site u posted my info on

 Stole $9,000+ from a girl softball league.

I literally can’t do this guy justice, so you should go read the entire thread, but seriously, set aside at least an hour and some Excedrin.   But my personal favorite was this passage ostensibly from his hog-tied honey, Jenny:

 Cause of you prople Ron tried to kiill himself.

Why can u peple just leave him alone? I love him and I don’t care what he is.Ass long as I am with him. Yes he is tough but this just put him over the edge.Please leave my Boyfriend alone .and like I said how u are all happy with yourself.
Jenny

Jenny adds:

How could u people be so cold a man tried to end his life last night and all u can do is make jokes? Don’t u have any compassion? You all say bad things about him u don’t even know him. he is warm loving carrying man who I love with all my heart enough is enough now. You brought his personal info to this not bad end people called with death threats one of the reasons he did what he did last night. Let me ask you all this have u never made a mistake? Well if you have no u be the first ones to cast that stone.

Jenny then dumped his ass, and he started dating Diana (her sideboob pics here.)

Ron’s Facebook page is still up, and includes pictures of Michael Vick, Jean Luc Picard and Jack Bauer.

I came into this world as a reject
Look into these eyes
Then you’ll see the size of these flames
Dwellin on the past
Its burnin’ up my brain
Everyone that burns has to learn from the pain

Nookie for everyone who votes….

A young lady who reads our blog emailed me today about a problem she had at work.

I am currently involved in a little dispute with a former submariner. I informed him he kind of messed up and instead of discussing it with me, he ran to the boss and said I yelled at him and threw things and generally scared him (I tossed a post-it note pad in the air in frustration). I now need the appropriate navy code words for put on your big boy pants and stop being a pansy so that he will know what I think without giving him ammo against me. This because passive aggressive is ok but yelling is not.

She adds when I asked if the guy was a Zero:

Of course he was an officer. No enlisted guy would be scared by an overweight, grating, 5 foot tall woman discussing things with a slightly raised voice and an eye roll. That’s right. He ratted me out on that too.

My advice was to tell him to “Man up Sally” but my HR department has me on speed dial, so I might not be the best source.  I don’t speak Navy, can anyone help her?