Author: TSO

Have I made it clear how much I love IVAW?  Seriously, they could write that the sky was blue, and I would contact 3 meteorologists and an astronomer.

Luckily, they are usually so retarded I don’t even need to look.  They are about to have a Winter Soldier: Germany.  And, look what it says there:

The words “Winter Soldier” were inspired by Thomas Paine in Valley Forge at a time when America was a revolutionary country, a revolutionary concept, and the soldiers of the revolution were freezing and starving outside of Philadelphia.

“These are the times that try men’s souls. The summer soldier and the sunshine patriot will, in this crisis, shrink from the service of their country;

Um. Yeah. Couple problems there history buff. “Winter Soldier” comes from Thomas Paine’s Common Sense*, written in January, 1776. America you may recall would not declare her independance for another 6 months. If Thomas Paine wrote it from Valley Forge, he was pretty damn lonely, since the Continental troops wouldn’t be there for another 2 years. Also, if there were any troops starving and freezing outside Philly, it was likely because they pulled an IVAW, since at the time the Continental Army was invading Canada.

 

*Update, amazingly, ArmySergeant corrected me.  This was from “Crisis” which still doesn’t fix the larger issue since this was written in Dec of 1776, (still a year early) and teh army was at that time was IN Philly.  (2x correction).  However, kudos to Ms AS.

10) Joshua Key will be testifying on the use of 6-inch .50 cal rounds to ignite gasoline a la Die Hard II.  He will also provide evidence that Adam and Jamie from Mythbusters are part of the Bush Family Evil Empire, out to malign his totally awesome war stories.

 

9)  Chanan Suarez Diaz will testify about Death Missions where you take units without officers, and send then out to chum the water for bad guys.  Also, how Marine units debate whether to go on patrol by democracy, and how they all respect and cherish the wise advice of their corpsman.

 

8 ) Jesse Adam MacBeth with testify on his time in the R-r-r-r-anger S-s-s-s-pecial Forces G-g-g-g-g-s-17 C-c-c-c-lassified units where they k-k-k-k-k-illed lots of I-i-i-i-i-raqis.

 

7) Live via teleconference from Caracas, Jimmy Massey will be testifying about killing civilians and then shoving them into tractor trailers.  It is expected he will relay how “the scene was so bad ‘that the plasma from the body and skin was decomposing and literally oozing out of the crevices of the tractor-trailer bed.’”

 

6) Geoff Millard and Adam Kokesh will be doing a joint appearance discussing the rank structure, and how it’s not important what rank you actually are so long as you give yourself a one grade promotion in public appearances.  Also, how the US military official position is that “F’ing Hadji’s can’t drive.”  (Rumors that Millard and Kokesh are the same person, like Quatto from Total Recall are mere internet rumors.  Check Snopes for details.)

 

5) Chris Arendt will talk about his service as the highest ranking E4 in history, Superintendant of Camp Delta at Gitmo.  Also, he will be discussing the importance on an emo haircut and how he hopes your unit hates you.

 

4) Cpl Jason Washburn will be discussing how the preferred weapon to use against elderly females bearing vegetable borne IED’s is the Mk19.  “Look kids!  They’re coming right for us!”

 

3) Camilo Mejia will be testifying how the line between torture and not torture, between faux executions and playing cards is a fine one, only to be discerned by whom he is talking to and how much sugar he had on his Wheaties that morning. 

 

2)   Scott Thomas Beauchamp will be testifying on Pre Traumatic Stress Disorder, and the role that precognition plays in it.  Also, how to drive a Bradley fighting vehicle, and the proper wear of a skull cap.

 

1) Evan Knappenberger won’t be testifying per se, he’s expected to just yell at the presiding authorities.  “F*$# them, and may their kids all grow up to be godless fags; may their red-white-and-blue blood cleanse this land of the stench of rape and plunder.”

Newly Elected RNC Party Chairman, Michael Steele, MD.

So HotAir has this story up about some lefty group called Americans United for Change that is running some crap radio ads. So, I go to the link for the group, trying to figure out who it is. Anyway, at the bottom of their page it says the President of the group is Brad Woodhouse, who not surprisingly is a big Dem activist. No biggie, that’s kind of what you expect. But, his wikipedia page had this interesting (befuddling) quote at the bottom:

Brad Woodhouse has one sister, Joy, who is married and has four children. He also has a brother named Dallas who heads a Republican lobbying organization. Dallas is married and has two children, both of them his.

Well, I sure am glad we’ve established the paternity of some evil Republican guys kids. I wonder if all 4 of Joy’s kids are hers, or if they are the offspring of Kodos and Kang, sent here to watch after us puny Earthlings.

Until Andrew Sullivan confirms this story, I am just not buying into what Wiki tells me. I mean, I saw pictures of Dallas just days before his second child was born, and not only did he not look heavier, I heard he had a glass of wine.

UPDATE: Go read Matt’s post at Blackfive here, sounds like a REAL GOOD man.

Matt at Blackfive had told me similar things about the new Illinois Governor, Pat Quinn a while back. I like that the first article I read about him states this:

As lieutenant governor, Quinn became a vocal advocate for veterans. He helped start a relief fund for military families, pushed for better health care benefits and made a point of attending funerals for Illinois service members.

I’m all about character in politicians, and have a pretty zero defect mentality towards that, which explains why I loathe the serial philanderer Newt Gingrich. And attending funerals for service members who made the supreme sacrifice might not be the biggest thing to some people, and I understand that, but to me, it’s a sign of what the man truly is all about.

Lets be honest, he could pick his nose on TV and be less of an embarrassment than Blago, and he apparently eschews the Chicago Machine politics. So, crazy lib or not, I hope this guy does well.

Here’s your link.

Please post apologies in this thread. I’m guessing I’ll get an apology from GinnyPub roughly when hell freezes over. You know, since she only defamed me in the interest of the greater good.

UPDATE: Just to make it official, I give you crickets.

OK, so as you know, Jonn is on “vacation.” And, I blog only sporadically. So, consider this an open thread/update on Jonn.

I really shouldn’t let you in on this, but Jonn’s vacation is actually doing a tour with the Bolshoi Ballet, they are doing a piece that Jonn has rewritten of Tchaikovsky’s classic, entitling it the “IVAW Cracker.” Here’s a picture Raoul got from their dress rehearsal. (I do not know how he gets this stuff.) Jonn on far right.