Author: TSO

First, some background:

Pioneer Park (or Park) is a 2.5 acre public park located in the Historic District of Pleasant Grove City (or City) in Utah. The Park currently contains 15 permanent displays, at least 11 of which were donated by private groups or individuals. These include an historic granary, a wishing well, the City’s first fire station, a September 11 monument, and a Ten Commandments monument donated by the Fraternal Order of Eagles in 1971.

Enter into this bucolic, small town setting the adherents of the religion Summum. Generally speaking, I am the last one to engage in ridiculing a religion, as I am an advocate of free and open prayer of whoever you want. I diverge from that slightly in this instance, an explanation as to why will come later. According to the Summum,

In 1975, Amen Ra (Founder), an administrative manager for a large Salt Lake City supply company, began to receive a series of “visits” from advanced living beings. His first reactions of shock and disbelief lead him to a period of seclusion.

Yet the visits continued. The beauty and purity of the concepts that these individuals brought to him were changing his life dramatically. He was instructed to write a book in order to make this information available to those who are ready to hear it. The book was written, and the teachings are now available through the publication.

Whether it is little green men visiting an Admin Manager in SLC, or Xenu, Leader of the “Galactic Confederacy” who, 75 million years ago, brought billions of his people to Terra Firma in DC-8 like spacecraft, stacked them around volcanoes and killed them using H-bombs, I draw the line of acceptable religions right about where UFO’s begin. It always makes me think of Peter Venkman talking to Elaine in Ghostbusters:

Elaine: According to my source, the end of the world will be on February 14th, in the year two thousand and sixteen.
Peter: Valentine’s day. Bummer. Where’d you get your date, Elaine?
Elaine: I recieved this information from an alien. I was sitting at the bar, alone and this alien approached me. He started talking to me, he bought me a drink. And then he must have used some kind of a ray or a mind control device because he forced me to follow him to his room and that’s where he told me about the end of the world.
Peter: So your alien had a room at the Holiday Inn, Paramis?
Elaine: It could have been a room on the spaceship made to look like the hotel. I can’t be sure about that, Peter.

Anyway, back to the Supreme Court.
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Um. Really?

“I don’t know what accomplishments he was talking about. The accomplishments I could see were the more than 1 million martyrs and a sea of blood,” al-Zaidi said. “There are more than 5 million Iraqi orphans because of the occupation. … More than a million widows and more than 3 million displaced because of the occupation.”

OK, so how is this possible? I know women and children are being killed over there, because Dahr Jamail tells me so with every email missive. So, let’s assume that it is 50% men, 25% women, and 25% children, just to be illustrative. That would mean that every man killed has an average of 2 wives, by virtue of “more than a million widows.” But that can’t be right, because he says there are more than 5 million orphans, meaning both mom AND dad died. So, then 500,000 men must have died, and all 250,000 women who died were married to them. Which means there were 250,000 men who died but who’s spouse lived, which means that of those men, each had 4 wives. Oh, and of the 250,000 pairs of parents killed in this war, they averaged…..(wait for it)…..20 children.

Or, maybe the husband and wife were both killed, but that dude was also married to different women. I suppose that is possible. Well, just about anything is possible in the fantasy life this guy has concocted.

Well, either that or this guy is full of shit, and I REFUSE to believe that.

Are you people on dope?

Tell the Administration that we want:
1) Reduction of troop levels in Afghanistan
2) Rapid withdrawal of all U.S. troops from Afghanistan and Iraq
3) A commitment to diplomacy involving all major regional players, including major international peace-keeping bodies
4) Addressing the real needs of Afghans by funding development assistance for Afghanistan’s basic human needs – health-care, clean water, education, security, rights for women and girls-, through Afghan NGOs, using local labor and services

Just how in the hell do you think you can get #4 when you’ve done 1-3 Medea?

No US troops:
= no rights for women and girls
= no security
= limited (if any) educational opportunities, and death sentence for women trying to get them
= less clean water
= only the most barbaric health care service imaginable.

Get a brain Moran.

I think what I love best is the idea of NGOs providing security. We call those vigilantes Medea. Should we be sending over BA Barracus and Hannibal Smith to protect them?

“In 1972 a crack commando unit was sent to prison by a military court for a crime they didn’t commit. These men promptly escaped from a maximum security stockade to the Kabul underground. Today, still wanted by the government, they survive as soldiers of fortune. If you have a problem, if no one else can help, and if you can find them, maybe you can hire: THE A-TEAM.”

Would someone explain to me how this makes *ANY* sense?

In a few short weeks, Canada will once again start its merciless slaughter of seals for their skins. As the world turns its attention toward Canada, which will host the 2010 Winter Olympics, we now have an opportunity to shine the spotlight on the barbaric seal slaughter. Today, at news conferences in Vancouver and cities around the world, PETA and its affiliates launched a year-long campaign targeted at the Vancouver Olympic Organizing Committee in an effort to end the seal slaughter once and for all, but we need your help!
[…]
Please urge the Vancouver Olympic Organizing Committee to call for an immediate end to the horrific slaughter of baby seals. Until it does, the annual massacre will be a stain on the reputation of the 2010 Olympic Games.

I don’t approve of Monarchies, and I think they waste valuable resources better utilized elsewhere, which is why I am protesting IKEA tomorrow.

Now, how is my protest any less sensical than that of Ms Newkirk and PETA?

I thought the olympics had to do with sports, and getting Phelps dates with strippers? Did I miss a memo somewhere?

Statue of man on chair with cactus head and duck head penis on left, WAY too hot/young for me girlfriend on right.

OK, so more than 1 person has sent me emails and text messages questioning where I am. A sampling:
1) Dude, where the [fiddlesticks] are you? Are you dead?
2) How much money do you need for bail?
3) Did you finally realize your dream and run off with a traveling troupe of transvestite troubadours?

No, I am alive and well, and have returned from St Cupids day with my gal. So, some rapid fire stuff on stuff I would have posted had I been here.
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UPDATE: Note how Dahr’s story of all the gravediggers gibes with a story that Matty O’Blackfive just sent a link to from last year:

NAJAF, Iraq — At what’s believed to be the world’s largest cemetery, where Shiite Muslims aspire to be buried and millions already have been, business isn’t good. A drop in violence around Iraq has cut burials in the huge Wadi al Salam cemetery here by at least one-third in the past six months, and that’s cut the pay of thousands of workers who make their living digging graves, washing corpses or selling burial shrouds.

I signed up for this moron’s alerts because it generally takes the better part of a nano-second to find something ridiculous about the article. Today’s is more funny than most the others. It’s about the amazing prosperity of Gravediggers in Iraq, who are flush with jobs from burying so many corpses.

BAGHDAD — Amidst the soaring unemployment in Iraq, the gravediggers have been busy. So busy that officials have no record of the number of graves dug; of the real death toll, that is.

“I’ve been working here four years,” a gravedigger who gave his name as Ali told IPS at the largest cemetery in Baghdad, a sprawling expanse in the Abu Ghraib section of the capital city. “In 2006 and some of 2007, we buried 40- 50 people daily. This went on for one-and-a-half years.

“Twenty-five percent of these were from violence, and another 70 percent were killed by the Mehdi Army (the militia of Shia cleric Muqtada Al-Sadr).” Only a few appeared to have died from natural causes.

This seems to defy every other news source from Iraq, where killings seem down, no? So, our intrepid moron-on-the-scene goes back to using the rock solid numbers he always has:

Such graveyards, and there are many, raise questions about the real death toll in Iraq.

The last serious study, by a group of doctors in the U.S. and Iraq, was published in the British peer-reviewed medical journal The Lancet on Oct. 11, 2006.

The study said about 655,000 Iraqis (2.5 percent of the population) had been killed as a direct result of the invasion and occupation. The research was carried out on the ground by doctors moving from house to house, questioning families, and examining death certificates.

Wow, impeccable timing there [fecal matter]-[richard]. It seems like just yesterday that that study was thoroughly discredited. Possibly because it was just yesterday.

In a highly unusual rebuke, the American Association for Public Opinion Research today said the author of a widely debated survey on “excess deaths” in Iraq had violated its code of professional ethics by refusing to disclose details of his work. The author’s institution later disclosed to ABC News that it, too, is investigating the study.

[…]

Both AAPOR and the school said they had focused on Burnham’s study, published in the October 2006 issue of the British medical journal the Lancet, reporting an estimated 654,965 “excess deaths” in Iraq as a result of the U.S.-led invasion in 2003. An earlier, 2004 report, in which Burnham also participated, estimated approximately 98,000 excess deaths to that point.

[…]

AAPOR’s standards committee chair, Mary E. Losch, said the association, acting on a member’s complaint, had formally requested from Burnham “basic information about his survey, including, for example, the wording of questions he used, instructions and explanations that were provided to respondents, and a summary of the outcomes for all households selected as potential participants in the survey.”

Losch said Burnham gave some partial answers but “explicitly refused to provide complete information about the basic elements of his research.”

This Ain’t Hell has just completed our own peer-reviewed study wherein we discovered that 106% of all anti-war activists war stories are made up entirely of expelled body fluids, and that such material is generally even fruitier than shit from a Mexican Fruit Bat. You can believe us on that, because it was PEER REVIEWED. By Jimbo.

If you don’t listen to the Blue Falcon Radio Hour with James Hanson and David Bellavia today, you are a communist. Seriously. I absolutely guarantee you will laugh your reproductive organs off. Money back guarantee.

Go to 29 mins in, and strap in. I played a small part in this, and I have never been so proud of internet subterfuge as I am today.

I have absolutely nothing to post today, but I came across this on the internet.  Now, knowing IVAW and our poster Claymore, the challenged for you is to figure out who wrote it.  On an unrelated note, feel free to forward your war stories to us at the email listed below, so we can keep this gig going.

I remember it like it was yesterday, man. Our team had been assigned to recon some of the barrier islands south of the Stankchoochee Archipelago, near Ding Dhong. The area was a hot bed of insurgency and we were ordered to go in and check it out. We picked up a chopper from one of the locals, some dude who dragged tourists around from island to island, and had him parachute us in from 30,000 ft. This is what’s known as an “air drop” or “air insertion”, where we come in from the air. After our “air drop”, we regrouped, checked our gear and decided to eat. Without ground transport, we humped it about 3 or 4 miles into a village one of the guys spotted during the “air drop”. The village had an IHOP, so we lucked up. I got the all-you-can-eat pancakes, and they were damn good compared to the Army food we normally get in the Army (we call that chow, because you have to chow down on it fast). After “chow”, some of the team wanted to look for a place for us to hole up for the night. We were tired after our forced march, so the sarge told us to split up and find a place to sleep for the night while he interrogated a local girl he found outside of the liquor store. He said he was going to pump her for information and come find us in the morning. We never saw that dude again. Then to make it worse, PVT Goldberg blew our entire stash of flash-money playing Golden Tee while trying to get the locals to rat out their insurgent friends by buying a dozen rounds of beer for everyone. With our resources gone, our sergeant MIA and my cell phone down to just three bars on the battery, we called the ball and ordered EVAC. Goldberg’s mom picked us up at 1800hrs, the mission a total failure. This was just another example of the failed policies of Bush and how this war has killed the soul of this country.