Author: TSO

  • Dicksmith still as asinine as ever, takes on the Kiss Army

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    I don’t know what institution of higher learning let dicksmith in, but he really doesn’t bring credit to them at all. The man is either retarded or an out and out liar. Maybe both. Him trying to form a rational thought is like watching a dog try to play a ukulele. He’s like Southern Dem, minus the fact that SD is just a character. Right now he’s probably wearing his che gueverra hat and wondering how to get his head in the peanut butter jar to get to the food.

    His latest bit of jackassery is to go after Senator Burr for a fundraising letter. Yup, a fundraising letter. I know you guys usually ignore the in-depth stuff I do on votes, so I will just make this one quick. Burr’s fundraiser is to solicit funds, and based on your amount, you can earn a “rank” in “Burr’s Brigade.” Now, it seems stupid to me, but dicksmith totally has his panties in a bunch about it.

    He begins:

    North Carolina Republican Senator Richard Burr has never served a day in uniform in his life. But that didn’t stop him from selling military rank to attempt to raise money for his campaign.

    First off, Burr turned 18 at the end of 1973, and graduated high school in 1974. Not only was the military decreasing in size, but you might remember that we were coming out of a war, and it wasn’t the best of times for our military. Had Burr gone in, he would have served in a peacetime military, and dick would have screeched about how he never served in combat. Instead Burr attended Wake Forest where he played football and got a degree. He went on to work for a company selling lawn equipment. In short, he actually worked for a living and increased the tax base of America. Only in dicksmith’s world is this a bad thing.

    Second…hey dipshit, he is not “selling military rank.” There is no military unit known as “Burr’s Bridgade.” If you pay the money to be a Colonel in Burr’s Brigade, it is still not acceptable to send Burr’s Brigade Corporals off to get a box of grid squares, or a can of squelch for the Prick E6. Burr’s Brigade is on par with the KISS army. Or a 13 year old who achieved the rank of Major on Call of Duty: Modern Warfare telling his mom to get down and give him 25. I wonder if dicksmith thinks Hogwarts is real.

    Then dicksmith says “What makes this even more offensive is Senator Burr’s actual voting record in supporting the military.” I know you guys hate when I go into the nitty gritty of each vote, because it is obvious to anyone who is not a re-tard that the votes are never what dicksmith claims. I’ll pull out just two and run with those.

    Burr Voted against Pay Raises and Body Armor for Our troops. Burr voted against funding for body armor, armored vehicles and equipment needed to keep our troops safe. Burr also voted against providing our military men and women a well-deserved pay increase.[Vote 384, 12/19/09]

    I’ll just let the Senator respond to this one:

    I have always been proud to vote for the funding of our troops and our national defense. However, I am disappointed that this year, the defense funding bill is filled with spending that is unrelated and not offset through savings elsewhere in the government. I cannot support a funding bill that spends $18 billion on unrelated spending that is not paid for.

    Additionally, this bill shortchanges our troops, including thousands from North Carolina, by not providing any funding for the surge into Afghanistan. I support the President’s strategy, but we must provide our troops with the resources they need to complete their mission. In a time of war, for Congress to ignore this funding shows a disregard for the servicemen and women who are away from their families this holiday season fighting on our behalf. I am also disappointed that Congress decided to devote resources to buying planes for junkets rather than fund our troops in the surge.

    Yeah, sure sounds like he hates the troops, eh? How ’bout we turn this around dick, explain to us why the $18 billion of pork in the bill is not more offensive and harmful to troops and veterans than a fahkin’ fundraising letter.

    Voted against the GI Bill. Burr was part of a small group that worked to oppose the new GI Bill that would make college affordable to veterans returning home from Iraq and Afghanistan. Burr argued that the new GI Bill was “too generous and would draw troops away from re-enlisting.” This argument and Senator Burr’s alternative bill was defeated in a bipartisan vote with veteran’s organizations arguing that “patriotic troops would continue to serve their county, and that a new benefit would encourage thousands of college-bound young people to join the military.” [Vote 161, 6/26/08; Iraq and Afghanistan Veterans of American, 2008 Congressional Report Card]

    This one has so much shit wrong with it I don’t even know where to start. First off, that quote. Quotation marks around a series of words usually means that those words were used by the person to whom they are ascribed. Show me where Burr ever said that. Go ahead, I will wait. The only source for that quote is….VoteVets. I found no reference whatsoever to Burr saying it was too generous. In point of fact, the bill that Burr was supporting would actually have been more expensive. And the “draw troops away from re-enlisting” is exactly what the Pentagon said. So, dicksmith would have the politicians who didn’t serve listen to the Pentagon when he wants, but when they say shit opposed to dicksmith’s position, he wants them to ignore them. Apparently one needs a ouija board to figure it out, because VoteVets never testifies on this stuff so who knows.

    I do love that dicksmith gives me another excuse to link to the shittastic IAVA scorecard though. I continue to maintain that IAVA serves a purpose on some issues like the GI Bill, but this scorecard was the most dishonest one I’ve ever seen. None of the votes where what they claimed they were, and idiots like dicksmith keep citing to them. Then again, dicksmith isn’t capable of actually researching anything on his own, so maybe this will cut down on his owies. The dude should be required to wear a hockey helmet when he tries to think through stuff.

    Anyway, let’s finish up this political ride on the short bus:

    Astonishing. The idea that any United States Senator, much less one who has never served and has such an appalling record of short-changing service members, would feel that military rank can be bought and sold to fill campaign coffers is sickening. The actions of Senator Burr disrespect every brave American who has ever had the honor of wearing the ranks Senator Burr is hawking for as little as $25.

    The fact that dicksmith can’t differentiate between “military rank can be bought and sold” and nominal titles in the “Burr Brigade” is what is astonishing. When are you going after COD: Modern Warfare and the KISS Army Dick? If he really feels like he is being disrespected by this mailing, then for his sake I hope the Obamacare bill goes through and he can find someone to fix his cranial rectal insertion problems.

    dicksmith

  • The ukuleles will continue until morale improves

    I am serious people. I am a man on the edge, and you guys are not commenting.

    Apparently Jonn still not online, and in case you hadn’t noticed, it’s been a slow news week.


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  • Mixed tape for Tom

    (Jonn is apparently still down, and I am contractually obligated to cover for him, so you get another shitty/jackass post.)

    tombrady1-2

    As you know, I went through a rough break up yesterday. I could have taken the route every other chick dude takes, you know, eat ice cream, talk to my girlfriends about what a dick he was, go out and have random sex with a returning GI…. But instead, I decided to make him a mixed tape of all the songs that make me think of him.

    Well, actually all the songs that make me think of him that are covered by youtube people on ukuleles. So, Tom, if you read this, I miss you. Oh, and I miss the early [edit] 2000’s when you had a high fucking passer rating and 3 superbowl victories. (Not to put too fine a point on it.)

    [NOTE: Audio on first one is really low]

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  • Alice? Who the fug is Alice?

    Lord knows why I was reading this shit, but let’s see who else has a problem with this article. Reprinted in full so you can appreciate the (lack of) context.

    TEMPE – A 23-year-old Tempe mother at the center of a missing baby case has left Miami and arrived at the Maricopa County jail.

    Elizabeth Johnson has been charged with kidnapping, child abuse and custodial interference.

    Tempe Police say that Johnson is being held on a cash-only $1.1 million bond, after being extradited from Florida.

    Johnson was arrested in Miami on Dec. 30 after failing to show up for a custodial hearing in Phoenix. Johnson had apparently driven cross-country with her 8-month-old son Gabriel.

    Gabriel was last seen with her in San Antonio. She tells police she gave him up to an unknown couple in Texas for adoption.

    After arriving in the valley, Elizabeth Johnson telephoned her grandfather, who lives in Scottsdale.

    “I can’t even imagine Elizabeth hurting that child or anything worse,” Bob Johnson told FOX 10. “It’s unbelievable she would. She’s a stubborn young lady, she has got a plan and I suspect she implemented it.”

    Authorities are calling a Scottsdale couple “persons of interest” in the case. The Smiths tell police they befriended Johnson at an airport and she offered to give her son to them to adopt — but the baby’s father didn’t agree.

  • Open Thread

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    Jonn is out today, and I couldn’t be sicker to my stomach if I ate a bag of steamed dicks. I had to break up with Tom Brady last night, it was best for both of us.

    So, amuse yourselves while I drive stakes through my Southern Dem Voo Doo doll and then light it on fire.

    What I will be having for breakfast every day this week to forget the weekend:

  • Feinstein out of her mind, or a liar

    She just said on Face the Nation (in defense of Reid) that when Lott got in trouble, she knows of no Democrats who jumped on him for that.

    How about any of these folks?

    Pelosi: He can apologize all he wants. It doesn’t remove the sentiment that escaped his mouth that day.

    Daschle: Regardless of how [Lott] intended his statement to be interpreted, it was wrong to say, and I strongly disagree with it.

    When Daschle’s comments weren’t hard-hitting enough….

    Some Democrats, meanwhile, criticized fellow party members who had declined to denounce Lott earlier. Noting that Senate Majority Leader Thomas A. Daschle (D-S.D.) last week said he accepted Lott’s private explanation that he wasn’t praising racial segregation, Rep. Maxine Waters (D-Calif.) said yesterday: “The Democratic leadership must show its African American constituents that they really do care. . . . And I think Daschle didn’t do that.”

    Yeah, no one jumped him on it at all.

    Certainly not Obama.

    “The Republican Party itself has to drive out Trent Lott. If they have to stand for something, they have to stand up and say this is not the person we want representing our party.”

    Ah shit.

    Integrity, it’s what’s for dinner lunch breakfast snack the trashbin.

    Here you go, the video. Reid apologized to “all the black leadership.” Wow. Just fricken wow. “I saw no Democrats jumping out there and condemning Senator Lott.”

  • Waiting on that VoteVets endorsement

    Apparently Dems are starting to get nervous about the Senate race to replace Ted Kennedy in Massachusetts. That’s good news for anyone who doesn’t like tax and spend leftists. So I just went over to Republican candidate Scott Brown’s website and discovered:

    Senator Brown is a proud member of the Massachusetts National Guard, where he has served for nearly three decades and currently holds the rank of Lt. Colonel in the Judge Advocate Generals (JAG) Corps. Brown was awarded the Army Commendation Medal for meritorious service in homeland security following the terrorist attacks of September 11, 2001.

    Sweet! Another veteran in the Senate. About time. I figure that the imminent VoteVets endorsement might put him over the top, right? I mean isn’t that what “VoteVets” is designed to do; increase veteran membership in our deliberative bodies?

    Get on the stick Soltz, looking forward to reading and posting the press release annoucing your endorsement.

  • Rhetorical question about dicksmith

    He does realize that libertarians and conservatives are different, right?

    Former Libertarian Presidential candidate Bob Barr and I probably agree on very little in the way of policy, outside of certain civil liberties issues. But damn it if he doesn’t keep proving to be the most level headed conservative I ever read.

    Bob Barr’s “conservative” policy positions:

    Oppose staying in Iraq
    Favor Marijuana law repeals
    Works for/with the ACLU
    Accused the Bush White House of “NSA spying”

    Now, granted there are some policy overlaps with Conservatives and Libertarians, but this is dicksmith’s standard MO, to quietly just keep shifting definitions until black is white and white is black. Well, either that or he’s completely fahkin retahded. Who is voting for #2?

    I don’t really have anything against Bob Barr, I just think he’s a little odd.