The ukuleles will continue until morale improves

I am serious people. I am a man on the edge, and you guys are not commenting.

Apparently Jonn still not online, and in case you hadn’t noticed, it’s been a slow news week.


Comments

35 responses to “The ukuleles will continue until morale improves”

  1. COB6

    Stop Already! Step away from the computer…slowly.

    Think of the children man!

  2. LOL.
    My last one. I promise.
    I am working to get every one of our readers to hate me the way the other authors do.

  3. COB6

    I imagine the “bag of steaming dicks” analogy greatly assisted in that endeavor.

  4. Old Tanker

    Hate you or feel sorry for you?

    and ya, the bag of steaming dicks brought a picture to mind I’m having a hard time scrubbing away. Do they make brain bleach? Some things just can’t be un-imagined…..

  5. Brown Neck Gaitor

    I like the Sweet Caroline version.

  6. Old Tanker

    …..now I have a picture of steaming dicks along with “I will Survive” on the ukulele going through my head…..just great….

  7. Old Tanker

    Soy empatico…you’re a loser baby!!

  8. OldTrooper

    Jeezus TSO, man up already! I know you are in a moment of heartbreak, but this is almost as bad as those lefty’s that had to go in for therapy after Bush was re-elected. Do we have to put up Tiny Tim singing “tiptoe through the tulips” on the ukulele, just to get you to snap out of this?

    It’s time to come to grips with the fact that your man/boy crush on TB is based on your perception that he’s one of the Marvel comic super heroes sitting in the Justice League building, or something.

    I’m just glad the cheeseheads were stopped.

  9. tankerbabe

    Duuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuude. Pull out the WoW and play some or compete or whatever the hell you do with WoW.

    Hate you? Never – especially now that I know you want people to. Besies, how could one ever hate you? You can’t hate someone whose personality can’t be figured out. I wouldn’t know which of your personalities to vent my anger to. LOL

    It’s been WAY too long – sending you TONS of HUGS and wish I could deliver them in person.

  10. OldSoldier54

    I think the Interrogation guys are looking for this, somewhere in Unknownistan, to replace previous versions of enhanced interrogation …

  11. Jerry920

    Isn’t this against the Geneva Conventions or something?

  12. Southern Democrat

    Did I mention that we went up 7-0 on the first play with an 82 yard run?

    3 int and a stripped ball in the backfield as well?

    Man, I don’t know if dominate is the right word, but its the only one I can think of. To think, from almost tasting an 18-0 season, to out in the first round by Baltimore??

    Kisses 🙂

  13. Ray

    “We” SD? Just what position do you play? BOHICA?

  14. Southern Democrat

    Oh, I’m on the team….and tso knows that.

  15. Ray

    I heard you bat for the “other” team. 😀

  16. Actually Ray, he sort of is.

    Don’t want to be more specific without his permission, but he’s not a player, but appears on their website somewhere I imagine.

    And, as much as I love to hate SD, he gets more trips to the plate than anyone but Wilt Chamberlain. Lord knows how he does it, but he does.

  17. Brown Neck Gaitor

    Lord knows how he does it, but he does

    Women love Ewoks.

  18. Ray

    Well shit TSO, Now I’M depressed. 🙂

  19. Ray

    I’m going to end it all… I figure three more times listening to “Sweet Caroline” ought to do it.

  20. Southern Democrat

    And its all, well, 90% grade A prime choice cuts too.

    I still donate to the busted ones every now and then lol

  21. Seriously the best ukulele group ever, Ukulele Orchestra of Great Britain. They are funny as hell and can play.
    Their version of Shaft theme http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PfK-UzQ48JE

  22. Ray

    It’s OK SD. N0 sloppy seconds needed here. I married WAY beyond my punt coverage and she’s given me three beautiful girls who I wouldn’t trade for any harem. 😉

    Have fun and try not to catch anything that makes parts fall off.

  23. Never thought I would say this, but thanks to the WebSense blocking software here at work I am being spared all of the misery being visited upon you other lesser carbon based lifeforms.

    As far as the NFL went. One felon is out, Michael Vick, and one should be felon, Ray Lewis, manages to stay in to further terrorise whichever city it is they go to next. I don’t mean the football team, I mean the citizens. Cross Ray and you’ll wind up with a bullet holes in ya in the back seat of really nice limo. At least that is what he does when he comes to Atlanta.

  24. Susan

    Boys – when will you ever learn that diverse quantity never makes up for quality? One good one is better than 10 ok ones.

    The fact that SD rates them prime, and he gets so many, shows two things: (1) His scale may be broken; and (2) the females-in-question’s ability to determine quality is definately impaired.

    Ray – like the punt coverage analogy. This is an indicator of quality.

  25. SD is definitely a charmer I’ve seen him in action, although the conquest in quesion that night was not successful I can see how the young ladies love him.

  26. Susan

    Ok, so maybe he is a charmer, but what is with the bragging about quantity? Let’s face it, it is much more difficult to sustain a relationship over a long period of time such that the one person continues to want to “have relations” with you than to bag a different bimbo every night. A man succeeds at the former while a fucktard with a pretty face/body, the ability to lie smoothly, or sufficient cash can succeed at the latter. I know, I am a buzz kill at times, but come on guys…

  27. SD pulls, and it seems like I can’t get laid in a women’s prison with a carton of smokes and a fistful of pardons.

    There. Is. NO. God.

  28. “There.Is.NO.God.”

    That’s what my friend, George H. Smith, says, who wrote the book on the subject.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h81tGuWCdmY

  29. Susan

    Just.Shoot.Me!!!

  30. Southern Democrat

    Susan, don’t you know how it works though? Men exaggerate #’s like, whoa…

    I have not done all that tso accuses me of. He takes his facts based on one girl who my platoon took out a pool on, as far as what day into our deployment she would dump me.

    As far as the rest of my life, its all just bs!

  31. Susan

    SD – Glad to hear that you are not a scumbag!! 🙂

  32. I can always start sending you IVAW press releases if it’s a slow news week…

  33. Casey J Porter

    Today in IVAW News:

    “We connect a resisting Soldier with the dumbest lawyer on Earth! Watch him cry as he gets the max punishment.”

    “IVAW and the ISO, Solidarity together! Found out how you can help!”

    “Rape is ok, as long as you blame the Army. by Matthis Chiroux”

    “Anti-War Movement magic tricks! Give us money and watch it disappear!”

    All that and more!

  34. Susan

    AS – I believe that violates the Geneva Convention!!!

    P.S. – very funny Casey!!