I got 96 poseurs, and 64 slots

51 thoughts on “I got 96 poseurs, and 64 slots”

1. Some of these guys are so ridiculous as to be funny, others just piss me off….I just took an extra blood pressure pill so I should be good to go.

2. LEAVE TIFFANY ALONE!

3. Kind of an unnecessary crack on Isaac Newton…he wasn’t fake

4. I await the victims, er, subjects of my next series of photoplasty operations with sinister glee.

5. Have you considered having any play-in matches? Some of those mid-major poseurs worked hard to get here and it’s not their fault that all the poseurs from the power conferences get all the attention.

6. Have you ever noticed that these guys/gals never claim to just be an admin clerk or cook. Just once I’d like to see a dude claim to have PTSD from having worked in supply. Cleaning out used fart sacks can be pretty traumatic. If any of these idiots gave it some thought they could easily say they were an Air Force truck driver. Keep the rank low, awards few and you could get away with much more than saying you were a SEAL that did 18 tours in the mid-east.

   I wonder how much these clowns are costing the VA? If they commit fraud and get compensated that is one thing. But I would also like to know how much time and effort the VA spends on rooting these fools out and prosecuting them?

   Anyone got data on that?

7. Hell, at the rate you’re finding new ones, by the end of the weekend you might have 128 fakes and can just make another level of brackets. No need to narrow things down.

8. I guess this is how P.T. Barnum felt when he was reviewing acts for his Freak Show. Thanks again TSO for the confidence….and for putting up with my griping this morning about Excel. Sorry, it’s my software Kryptonite.

9. @COB6 – Unfortunately, there are 64 slots instead of 69, so I may be forced to leave your girl off my list. I may put her at Alternate #5 just for you guys.

10. Gunny Driveway FTW!!!

11. Almost have a complete company here. Now there’s a thought. Get all these guys and HALO drop them into Iran, and poof, all our problems in the middle east are solved.

12. If you have to cut, I’d lose the SEAL Major. It looks too much like a 14 year old kid playing. Not even in the same league as the ones trying to screw us taxpayers.

13. Cock Inhaler! Just so he can come back here and make more threats about kicking TSO’s ass with his imaginary friends My Little Pony and Jem and the Holograms!

    Poe had more of a national impact, but was just pathetic in the end. Made me want to cockpunch him.

    The Cock Inhaler takes himself so fucking seriously, that it would be a damn shame not to include him for sheer entertainment value! Pure comedy gold!

    Besides, it’s not every day CV gets death threats from a kiddie diddler. Or is it?

14. It is absolutely KILLING me not to throw in a “TWSS” in response to “I only have 64 slots”.

    Yer killin’ me, Smalls.

15. Hell….the flying assclown too. I think he’s landed on his head more than his feet.

16. Ane “Bikini Special Forces” Loyola took the “special forces” tag off FB, but kept the rest of it. Fucking pathetic.

    @#6- I was the Police SGT for about 6 months in the 90s. Still have nightmares and cold sweats about linen survey-we’ll we have the correct number of sheets for turn in? Are the blankets going to be moth eaten Korean War rejects. Hopefully the VA will give me my 100% PTSD rating soon so I can get the license plates and good parking up front…..

17. At one point there was some speculation that Vaughn might be the same guy whose picture was taken near Charlotte wearing a class A jacket with like 70 medals (a dozen or so of them BSMs). Was that ever confirmed as him? All of that is close to me, so I’m curious.

18. Wait, there might be more…..http://novato.patch.com/articles/a-visit-with-novato-s-own-g-i-jane

19. If the NCAA can run Division II playoffs, perhaps Jonn and TSO can set up a mid-majors bracket.

    More tourney = More fun for us.

    My thanks and regards to the seeding committee. You fine folks will provide us with hours of entertainment. It will be a much anticipated yet unfortunately insufficient relief while we wait for a new Stolen Valor law.

20. Thanks,You guys…this makes for a great tradition of sacking the losers at every turn. I will post this on my blog spot…

21. #11 Sgt Kane comment – absolutely gather up the whole damn bunch and drop them in Iran or Mexico anywhere but walking on American soil.

22. I can’t wait for the “Why didn’t Army Barbie get into the field” thread.

23. Lets make sure that none the contestants are pushing up daisies already. Soup Sandwich got hosed last year.

24. This is totally awesome! My money is on Steve “Ranger Imposter” Burrell.

25. This is totally awesome! My money is on Steve “Ranger Imposter” Burrell.

26. I am rather mad that Michael Delos Hamilton didn’t make it.
    http://www.pownetwork.org/phonies/phonies658.htm

27. CavRick – I debated that one. He was in our last one, and the only thing he has done since then has been to be released from prison. Without a superceding illegality, I couldn’t do it. I think Kyle Barwan is our only repeat, and that is because the dumbass got arrested again.

28. @17 I sent an e-mail to my committee members about that subject. I was able to find a newspaper article from that event in North Carolina describing a heavily decorated veteran named Robert Vaughn. I think Vaughn is Father Time w/bling, and that is how I am filling out my bracket.

29. My favorite is: General Fermijon “Maggots and Rice” Marrero

30. This is a great idea. I love this site.

    I think “Ranger” Burrell has the sauce to make a deep run, potentially setting up a semi-final showdown with that fatass “Marine”.(Fatty McQuartermillion Pounder)

31. I mean, being “the fourth most dangerous man in the world” has to count for something, right?

32. I have a referral to Mary at POW Network, waiting for the FOIA to get back. It looks like he won’t be making this year’s tournament. Much like a movie released at the begining of the year is overlooked come Oscar time, I fear that my hero won’t be remebered next year. I can only hope that you all remember to nominate my contender next year.

33. Hack, when I made this list I literally went back to the day we started last years and went page by page, so we’ll get him.

34. College Basketball has the NCAA and the NIT. Maybe you could have a pathetic poseurs tournament for those who don’t make the 64, or maybe a “douche-off” system instead of a play-off system.

35. I picked the “Real” GI Jane to make the Sweet 16… looks like she’s going to the NIT instead.

    http://novato.patch.com/articles/a-visit-with-novato-s-own-g-i-jane

    “The male-only military occupational skills training she underwent, as depicted in the ’97 film starring Demi Moore, came four years later when she was 35 years old. She was the first woman to complete the training.

    Parkhurst says the military higher-ups who asked her to volunteer for the assignment didn’t even think of her age at the time.”

    “According to Parkhurst, 80 percent of the film is “right on,” down to things she said and photographs from her file. There was no use of double standards in her training, and the scene in which she shaves her head in an empty barbershop is accurate.

    OK, so I ask her if the Master Chief (played by Viggo Mortensen in the film) really quoted D.H. Lawrence. I’m referring to the poem “Self Pity,” referred to both in the beginning and at end of the film:

    I never saw a wild thing sorry for itself. A small bird will drop frozen dead from a bough without ever having felt sorry for itself.

    Yes, she heard that one, she tells me. “We really like it (poetry) in the military,” she says. “Sometimes poetry, sometimes historical quotes — it soothes us. A lot of officers from West Point are taught English lit and they quote a lot of poetry. People actually learn better if they listen to inspirational type things rather than a lecture.”

36. She’ll be in the next one I am sure, we just haven’t gotten the FOIA back yet is my understanding, and I want to make sure we have all our bases covered. We all know she is full of it, but I don’t have documentation that makes me warm and comfy yet.

37. My man, “Ranger” Burrell, leads the way! This “ninja” is going to the finish line. Any takers?

38. I got 99 posers and a bitch ate one (the fat marine/seal)

39. How about this guy for your consideration.

    Turd Burglar.

    http://www.nj.com/news/index.ssf/2010/07/honored_iraqi_veteran_from_ver.html

40. Jorge Cruz should get at least honorable mention for having the most repulsive, disgusting moobs in the entire tourney. “Tits up” is a literal expression for this douche rocket.

41. Pingback: The SandGram » Blog Archive » “America’s got Posers”

42. (to add to the Action Figure Therapy video’s list of Great Units — speaking voice near the end ):

    AND — THE 1ST SIGNAL BRIGADE, US ARMY PACIFIC —
    the largest Brigade in-country, of The Vietnam War .

43. No. 42 — follow up to, and partial reference for,
    my prideful comment above (I was a soldier in this brigade in the late 1960s):

    The 1ST SIGNAL BRIGADE, Vietnam War:

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/1st_Signal_Brigade_%28United_States%29

    http://www.globalsecurity.org/military/agency/army/1sig.htm

44. I second the freak show review feeling that Barnum and Bailey must have felt… I have been reading for a long time now… almost have my votes done.

45. TONY TRIMBLE???

    Gee whiz, I used to work with that guy! To be honest, it was a looooong time ago, I barely remember him, and don’t really remember him claiming all this stuff, but, wow, what an uncomfortable feeling to see a name you know on that list!

46. Seeing as we have 92 just in the past year, I have what I believe is a stellar idea. A standard company is about 110-120 people, correct. Well, why dont we round up this bunch of hard-boiled aborted donkey fetuses,put them in Uniform (some for the first time) and give them the chance to live up to the war stories they have told. Hell, send them over, but have them function in the roles they claim to have served. Standard 12-18 month deployment, depending on completion of objectives, enemy activity, etc. Lets see who makes it past the first week. Fuck, I think it would be the greatest reality show of all time!!!!!!!!!!!!

47. @45…Currahee: From some “Inside Intel (5-5) -“As for “Push-up Tony Trimble”… “If you were the real deal or could sniff out military BS, he would be chilly and quiet. As soon as you left the room, he would recall his exploits to all who would listen.”
    Trimble just couldn’t control himself in front of the news. That lead to another bust. He would morph into a real local SF guy, and use this guy’s exploits and stories as his own. Grady DID NOT rehire him due to his lies about military service. The only thing that got Grady Hospital’s attention, were not the notice of his lies but an outpouring of emails, letters and phone calls.
    Fuck him.

48. Don’t forget our Hollywood producer MICHAEL R.S. “The General” TEILMANN
    https://www.azuse.cloud/?p=17114

    http://www.pownetwork.org/phonies/phonies220.htm

49. Don’t forget our Hollywood producer Michael R.S. “The General” Teilmann

    https://www.azuse.cloud/?p=17114

    http://www.pownetwork.org/phonies/phonies220.htm

50. Thanks TSO, for all YOUR hard work —
    and your “HELL’S NINETY-SIX” list above, is quite handy .

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