Someone sent us this photo with no information to find his records, but he weaves a great tale;
Met this guy Memorial Day 2013 in Salisbury National Cemetery, North Carolina. He looked wrong. He didn’t have a name tag, no hat (cover), ribbons not in any order, and he had on black patent leather shoes instead of white. I approached him, and he had no ties to the area – he said he just decided to just stop by. I believe he said he was from the Kentucky/Tennessee area. He said he retired 2009 from the Navy after 40 years. He claimed service in Vietnam through Afghanistan. He had the ribbons, but they weren’t in order of precedence and his ribbon bars had spacing, which the Navy doesn’t do. His shoulder boards indicated Lt. (j.g.) (O-2), but he verbally claimed Lt. Com. (O-4). It seemed odd he was only wearing O-2 rank after 40 years. Also, with only retiring in 2009, why are all his ribbons out of order and his shoes the wrong color? With his ribbons, he claims Bronze Star and Purple Heart awards. He also said he still trains/teaches at the Navy Base at Little Creek and at Coronado.
Comments
63 responses to “Totally legit”
These fucktards make it too easy. I’ll keep an eye out for him a Little Creek
The no name tag isn’t a big deal. You can go with or without the name tag in whites. The fact that he’s a JG after 40 years….mighty suspicious. He wouldn’t be one of those fakers, would he?
Busted. He’s just a poser that gets a thrill from being congratulated for his imaginary military service.
“Yeah, I just happened to be in the area, so I thought I’d put on my whites and come on out to the graveyard.” You can’t see it, but I’m rolling my eyes right now.
I bet he said his call sign was “Snake.”
That’s a walking bag of hammered dog fuck if ever there was one.
Someone needs to tell the douchetool that facial hair still needs to be within regs when wearing the uniform, retired or not.
Crotchrot’s cousin?
Love the Afghan Campaign Medal ribbon he’s sporting.
As that famous Russian emigre comic Yakov Smirnov said: “Eye . . . . don’ tink zo.”
Oh, here we go. And it’s so early yet.
3 Sea Service Ribbons in a (allegedly) 40-year career?
Yeah, I’ll be the first to say it–Get some time on the pond, nub!
Love that the NDSM is the first ribbon in the stack. Way to validate a warm-body award!
He managed to tack the “V” device on the BSM and the two stars on his Sea Service ribbon, but couldn’t manage to pin the required 1 star minimum on his Afghan and Vietnam Service Medal ribbons? And really, only one NAM and no commendation medal? Once again, a research fail.
No, really, this guy is totally legit. He was the Commander of the Space Shuttle Door Gunner School when I was going through there. I thought I recognized him.
Bet he was on the teams with Monkress. SEAL Team 13. So secret you’ve never heard of it until now. Ooops
He has very nice creases. Totally legit. You could cut yourself on those things.
His life is a mystery, even to him. The past 40 years have been… well, blurred is the word I want to use.
Out of curiosity, can anyone ID the outboard ribbon on the next-to-bottom row? I initially thought it was the AFEM, but it’s not. Closest one I can find that looks remotely like it is the Medal for Humane Action (Berlin Airlift), and it doesn’t look to be that one either.
Just curious.
#9 Yeah, Sparky… 3 Sea Serviced ribbons in 40 years. I had two in six, and that made me feel like a slacker compared to some of my shipmates on the carriers and subs. This twat waffle is all sorts of dorked up.
Hey shipmates. He also claims to be a SEAL. Note the trident. I guess he fought a lot. No good conduct awards at all.
Hondo, it’s the USCG Special Operations Service ribbon. Of course, if it says speacial ops, he has to have it.
FormerUSN: I’m guessing you didn’t click on the photo and see the title that Jonn gave it: “Ancient SEAL Dude”. (smile)
Bobo: thanks. Didn’t think to check USCG since the tool was claiming he retired from the Navy.
Hondo, the Coasties are part of the Navy Department. That’s why he got them mixed up with the other Navy stuff. He was probably a temporary puddle pounder for a while, just can’t remember it. Or it was when he was TAD on a secret squirrel squid specops thingy. He probably can’t talk about it, because his records were confiscated and set on fire.
FC2–I racked up 5 in the first 9 years in (two of those years were nuke pipeline, so we’re down to 7 years.) I figure had I stayed in till retirement I’d have TWO silver stars on that bad boy.
Soup Sandwich’s dad.
Ex-PH2: the USCG only moves under DON when so directed by the POTUS or Congress. Normally the USCG is part of DHS (they were under the Department of the Treasury until 1967 and were under Department of Transporatation from then until DHS was created in 2003).
Selected elements or individuals of the USCG may have served with the Navy since 9/11 while performing contingency operations. However, I don’t believe there’s been any order by the POTUS or Congress moving the entire USCG under the DON during the last 12 years.
@24–only if he wears desert camo boots, bloused of course.
Rocking the NDSM up top.
This dude probably trained Phil.
I heard that he was supposed to be the most interesting man in the world but took ill and lost the part. The rest, as they say, is history. Such are the fates.
Green Thumb: I can hear it now . . . .
Ancient SEAL Dude: “They never told you what happened to your father.”
Monkey-man: “They told me enough. They told me you trained him in fakery!”
Ancient SEAL Dude (in Darth Vader voice): “No. I am your father.”
Monkey-man: (Thinks silently for a moment.) “Cool. Now I can really learn how to sling the BS!”
Don’t forget his aviator wings on his pocket flap instead of above his rack. Joe
Joe, those are the Navy/USMC jump wings. I also just noticed that he qualified expert rifle, but didn’t make the cut for even marksman pistol.
Joe–that’s the Navy Parachutist on his pocket flap. At least he got that one right.
Bout the ONLY thing he got right.
Bobo–had some dipshit once call me out on my boomer pin because it was “crooked.” Had to explain to him about “up bubble.”
But a SEAL who can’t get rifle AND pistol? That should be as natural as breathing to those guys.
Oh, I did find ONE more thing right on the uniform. The CAR isn’t upside down.
YGBSM.
I’m still wondering how anyone with more than 3 days of service outside of Boot Camp didn’t point out and call out this douchebaggery.
@12: your memory is faulty. I was at the Space Shuttle Door Gunner school at the same time you were. He was the XO, not the CO. Details, details.
A pilot is not allowed to be a SEAL, There arequite few rates that are allowed in the SEALs. To name a few Nukes, Submariners, IT. You get the picture. A pilot may be in special support but never a SEAL.
Someone put this dipshit finder out of our misery.
@36: Yep, you’re right. Sorry.
@12 and 36. You’re both full of it. The Space Shuttle’s Door Gunner is its Crew Chief. You’ve both been caught so don’t try this again!
I wonder who took the picture? Too bad whoever it was didn’t stomp the crap outta that dude.
What can I say: PSTD; records burned; covert ops; still in the game!
Absolute REAL DEAL!
@40: Hey! Don’t try and say that we’re wrong, mister! I don’t remember seeing you in school. How about it, ExHack; do you remember some Cav weenie in our high speed class?
Joe–nukes are allowed to be SEALs? Really? I’ve yet to meet one. Besides, nukes are a career field with three separate rates, not just one.
And I was discharged as an RE-R1, meaning I am/was an RE-1, but the R was with restrictions, namely I go back as a nuke, period.
Wow… dude… nobody told me that Shipwreck retired from the Joes! Look at the beard and tell me that isn’t Shipwreck. Did you see a stuffed parrot on him anywhere?
BTW – little known fact.
I had orders to Space Shuttle Door Gunner School and I actually was there for a few days. However, I was dropped from the course because I failed the “Breath Holding” portion of the PT Test!
NHSparky: he also got his NDSM on right-side up. (smile)
BTW …. SEALs do have pilots. They are just not flying anymore … In addition, a SEAL Commanded the ISS. In fact, the COM and DEP or NSW are Air Force Academy Grads!
Any questions?
For more info use the AlGore.Net!
That is all!
@46: Sorry to hear that.
@43. He’s left you holding the bag. No backup. He’s tapping his fingers and whistlin’ Dixie. And don’t try to say he’s just away tending to business, either!