49-year-old Jonathan Bartlett Robertson was arrested in Richmond, Virginia on a warrant from Oklahoma for his crime spree which netted him a quarter-million bucks in ill-gotten booty. From the Seattle Times;
The Lincoln County Sheriff’s Office says it has identified 20 victims so far from throughout central Oklahoma. The stolen items include TV’s, an ATV, four trailers, guns, collector’s items, expensive sound equipment, Purple Heart medals and a casket.
Virginia LEOs pursued Robertson for more than an hour. Robertson was driving a stolen car during the chase.
Comments
31 responses to “Jonathan Bartlett Robertson arrested for theft of Purple Hearts”
“Purple Heart medals and a casket”
Gotta be a connection there. Gotta be. Just gotta be.
Put him in the casket, seal it and drop it in the water! oops weight it down first 😉
I dunno. Mebbe he had been dying to get a collection started before the family exorcist repossessed for his lack of regular payments.
A literal valor thief.
His last heist really put a nail in his coffin.
He must have had a partner helping him with a name like Bartlett. Of course Bartlett is a “pear”
Dah fukk?
… and a partridge in a pear tree.
Drops ? and walks off stage.
Happy Easter.
He has risen.
He has risen indeed.
Inquiring minds what to know what was in the coffin worth stealing. Could be he was just planning for his inevitable demise, but he doesn’t seem the forward thinking type.
P’raps he thought that the coffin had some cute pieces of firewood, and he needed to replace a lost woodie.
If it had metal in it, he was probably going to sell the metal to a scrap yard.
I got nothin’ else.
Quality time in the slammer will wipe that shit-eating grin right off his fat face.
The boys at the BTJT Deli (Home of the WORLD-FAMOUS Cockmeat Sammich®) will fix that for him…
I’m sure that Bubba & Thor will make him *Squuuuueeeeaaaal* like a piggy before they share him with the cell block.
Must have a very imaginative fence. There just can’t be much of a market for slightly used caskets. Except maybe as a hiding place for stolen goods.
Would that not depend upon what “slightly used” the coffin?
Why don’t we just shoot these perps on the spot and claim self defense ?
Waste of money for the ammunition. Now, if the Chinese method of execution were applied, that is, after the shot to the base of the skull at the back(always performed at night, prior to the act, he is rousted out of the rack with no notice) and afterward, the family billed the cost of the round, no exceptions for payment.
Whiz Wheel says:
Johnathan Bartlett Robertson (FRPR*) 43 x 7 = 301.
Whiz Wheel also says that here’s hoping that Robertson stays in the Grey Bar Hotel long enough to be awarded the Vietnam Era MOS of 66C-Trainman.
66C is awarded after a minimum of 90 days of OJT**/OJE*** to qualified personnel for their “service.”
Previous recipients of MOS 66C for this weekend have been Cody Joslin and Toby Haynes.
* Full Retard Past Rutabaga (Hat Tip to API)
** On the Job Training
*** On the Job Experience
Trainman? Trainman…mff,snerk,cough,must*contain*maniacal*laughter*ahhfookit- BWAHAHAHAHAHaHaHaHahahaha!!!!!…*breath*…BWAHAHAHAHAHaHaHaHahahaha!!!!!!
Oh that hurt…
*grin*
Smith! …. Here.
Jackson! … Here.
Robertson! ….. ……
…..
ROBERTSON!! …. Where is Robertson?
He had to catch a train, sir……
I am guessing he will be the little engine that wouldn’t, but won’t have much choice about pulling that train.
The little caboose that could.
That picture screams “idiot”.
BTW Happy Easter everyone. Have a blessed day.
Maggot.
Who steals a casket? What’d he do burgle a mortuary?
Just the heck does one do with a used coffin? That suggests it was used and returned. Unhappy customer? What exactly is the return policy for a casket?
A crime spree that involves a used coffin? That there is some funny stuff.
Purple Hearts? Fry him.
My grandmother died when I was 12. I remember being there with the adults at the funeral home while we were working out the details on burial and service and all that stuff. The funeral director was going on and on about caskets and all their features, including warranties.
12 year old Grunt asks, Sir, does anyone actually check on how that warranty holds out??
Roomful of shocked faces follows. Not the last time that’s happened, alas… ?
Hey Robertson, Robin Williams just phoned in from the after-life, he wants his look back. NOW!
Dang this is one old looking 49 yo! Also I thought Charles Manson was dead?