This ain't Hell, but you can see it from here

Category: Who knows

  • Yer Weekend Funny: Bingo! There Goes Your Tenure!

    I ran across a little gem today that had escaped me today.  It’s by a true American original, the late Frank Zappa.

    Zappa was a complex guy – fiscally conservative, huge backer of free enterprise, believed in limited government.  Yet he famously clashed with conservatives in the Reagan administration, finding some of their efforts theocratic and attempts to stifle free speech.  (If you’ve ever listened to some of his work, I think you can see just how big a fan of free speech he was.)

    He was also an incredibly talented musician and composer.  If you’ve only heard his more popular work, you haven’t really seen the full range of his abilities as either a performer or composer.  Find some good headphones and listen to either The Grand Wazoo or Jazz From Hell.

    Zappa also hated the phony, over-commercialized, synthetic, “scratch-the-surface” nature of contemporary US society with a passion.

    The American Society of University Composers invited Zappa to give the keynote speech at their 1984 convention in Columbus, Ohio.  He accepted.

    I don’t think the ASUC realized what they’d done.  Essentially, they’d just invited the fox into the hen house.

    The result was classic.  It was a scathing (and hilarious) commentary on academic tenure, contemporary society, and lack of both relevance and convictions.

    Here’s the full text of Zappa’s speech that day.  An abridged version is available here – and is further confirmed here in Zappa’s autobiography, The Real Frank Zappa Book.

    Zappa died over 20 years ago, of early-onset prostate cancer that wasn’t caught in time.  He was 17 days short of his 53rd birthday.

    RIP, Frank.  We lost a true American original the day we lost you.

  • Another Ode to All Military Fakes

    Oddman

     

    Well, I came upon a odd old man
    He was wearing a fancy coat
    And I asked him, tell me what are those medals?
    This he told me

    Well son that one is my Silver Star
    And I got me a Bronze Star or two
    And I got a Purple Heart, Wings, C-I-B

    Aren’t they shiny? Aren’t they golden!
    And I got them in the war, son
    And you dare not doubt me now, ’cause I’m a hero!

    Then another came to praise him
    And he sang a pean song
    Said that all were wrong to dare question this fellow

    And maybe it’s the time of year
    But then maybe it’s the day and age
    And I can’t say what it was
    But something seemed fishy

    Aren’t they shiny? Aren’t they golden!
    And he got them in the war, mon
    So you dare not doubt him now, ’cause he’s my hero!

    Yes they’re shiny, Yes they’re golden –
    But does he really rate them?
    And I now do wonder  – is he a real hero?

    By the time we saw the FOI-A
    Have to say we were not shocked
    It wasn’t the first time we’d seen a faker

    And I dreamed I saw thousands of real vets
    Marching toward that old fraud
    As his face turned pale as milk
    Afraid to face them

    Yes they’re shiny, and they’re golden
    But his valor is all stolen
    Now his deceit is well-known – and he’s a zero!

     . . .

    With apologies to Joni Mitchell, who wrote the original – and to Crosby/Stills/Nash/Young, who IMO did the definitive version years ago.

  • A Cultural Icon Ceases Print

    Last week, an American cultural icon ceased print publication.  After 60 years, Jet Magazine announced last Wednesday that it was moving to an all-digital business model.  It will cease publishing a printed edition.

    I’ll be the first to admit that Jet wasn’t my “cup of tea”.  But I did on occasion look at it – and when I was younger, it was fairly common.

    Jet was indeed a US cultural icon.  In its early days, it was instrumental in helping the Civil Rights movement get traction, publishing the photos of Emitt Till’s badly disfigured body to show how he’d been abused when he was killed.  And it provided Black America with a source of news and commentary not readily found elsewhere.

    Declining readership finally did Jet in.  Recent years haven’t been kind to most brick/mortar/paper magazines, and Jet was no exception.

    The US will survive without Jet, of course.  And one can argue whether it’s a loss worth mourning or not.

    But regardless of ancestry, IMO we’ve all lost something.  I can’t help but feel we’ve lost a bit of Americana with Jet’s passing.

  • Nigerian Scammer Gets “Punked”

    We’ve all seen and heard the Nigerian scam e-mails.  In general, they’re of the pattern:  “Just send me some (money/merchandise), and I’ll (cut you in on the proceeds from an illicit deal worth many times as much).”

    Well, a few years ago one man turned the tables on one of those scammers.  In this case, the scammer wanted some laptop computers.  So the scammer’s intended target claimed to have a computer company – and promised to send him some promotional models, provided the scammer did two things:

    • paid for shipping to Nigeria, and
    • made an English-language commercial for the man’s company – Anus Computers -– using a script the man provided to the scammer

    In reality, the guy then shipped the scammer a large block of wood.  (Another version I’ve seen says he also sent a load of broken computer parts.)  And the “commercial” that resulted is a classic.

    Without further ado – the “Anus Computer Commercial”.  Audio level is pretty low, so you’ll need to turn up the sound a bit.  There are multiple takes; the better ones start at about 1:30.

    Unfortunately, the original source – scambaiter.com – seems to have gone on to that great bit-bucket in the sky. However, the video of the “commercial” remains available on YouTube.

    Enjoy.  And don’t forget to use the patented “wipe it clean” software afterwards!  (smile)

  • More Secret Service Issues? Sure Looks Like It

    We’ve written more than once before here on TAH about issues with the US Secret Service (previous articles can be found here and here and here).  Well, it looks like there’s another issue or two now coming to light.

    It seems as if agents assigned to duties protecting the POTUS were on multiple occasions diverted to another task.  Specifically, they appear to have been sent to check on the “well being” of the Director’s assistant, who “was being harassed by her neighbor.”

    For a period of time, agents were sent twice a day to a small town in SE Maryland roughly and hour’s drive from the White House.  Agents involved

    . . . . thought the reassignment was a potentially illegal use of government resources. They were concerned enough about their own liability that they kept records of their involvement and their superiors’ instructions.

    In at least one case, agents were diverted from an assignment patrolling the Ellipse shortly before the POTUS was to depart the White House via helicopter.  Such times are periods of enhanced White House security.

    When reached for comment, the former US Secret Service Director involved – Mark Sullivan

    . . . . said through a spokesman that he did not personally order the 2011 checks on his assistant’s home and that a supervisor in his office authorized the visits. He said that he learned of the checks after they began and that to his knowledge, they were done for just a few days and were “appropriate.”

    The Washington Post has a decent article on the agents’ diversion.  It’s IMO worth reading.

    Think the Holder-led Justice Department will actually investigate this case thoroughly?  And maybe even hold someone criminally liable for misuse of government resources?

    Nah.  Me neither.

  • Some Still Remember Their Friends

    We tend to give the French grief fairly often.  And in truth, as a nation and a society they do have their faults.  And they definitely also look out for French interests first.

    Yet as I’ve written several times before, the French also have a true sense of national honor.  They also remember those who’ve helped them in the past.

    This was recently again proven.  This time, the proof came at West Point, NY.

    At a recent ceremony held there, 34 US World War II veterans were presented the French Legion of Honor.   The presentation was part of events leading up to the celebration of the 70th Anniversary of D-Day this year.  In the words of the Consul General of France Bertrand Lortholary:

    “Seventy years have passed since then, and yet the memory of the sacrifice of American soldiers remains more vivid than ever in the villages of France — in Normandy, in Provence, in the Ardennes, whose cemeteries bear witness to war’s cost in life.  I want to tell you that your example gives us inspiration for the future.”

    The choice of location for the presentation was intentional.  During his remarks, Lortholary also indicated his belief that it was important to express France’s gratitude before those who would become some of the next generation of US officers.

    Today, we don’t always see 100% eye-to-eye with the French.  And as I said above and have said elsewhere:  the French indeed have their faults.  But ingratitude and a short memory certainly don’t seem to be among them.

    This Army Times article provides more details, and several photographs.  If you have the time, IMO it’s worth a look.

  • Purple Hearts Reunited Strikes Again

    We’ve written more than once before here on TAH about Zachariah Fike and his nonprofit organization, Purple Hearts Reunited (two previous articles can be found here and here).  Their mission is to return recovered military decorations to their original owners and/or next of kin.

    Well, it looks like they’re due for some more public recognition and thanks.

    The 1945 Good Conduct Medal of Navy retiree Richard Gene Woody was recently found hidden inside an empty VCR cassette, wrapped in plastic and hidden in a tree in Milton, VT.   A number of other military-related artifacts were also found with Woody’s GCM.

    Woody died in 1982.  However, Fike was able to locate Woody’s son, Myron Gene Woody in Sidney, NE.  He plans to return the medal to Woody’s son.

    Well done, folks.  Thanks.

    Purple Hearts Reunited is a nonprofit organization.  If you have a few spare dollars looking for a home, IMO maybe you should consider them.

  • A Saturday Morning Diversion

    Some songs aren’t musical classics.  Yet they have other qualities that make them stick in your mind.

    What qualities?  Well, some songs simply make you feel young again – regardless of your age.

    IMO, here are two such from the ’80s.  And yeah – by today’s standards, the guys in the video look kinda stupid today.

    Who cares?  Put on the headphones, crank it up a bit, take a brief trip back in time . . . and enjoy.

    I met my be-bop baby at the Union Hall
    She could dance all night and shake the paint off the wall . . .

     


    “Raised on the radio?” Yeah, I guess so. Guilty as charged. (smile)