This ain't Hell, but you can see it from here

Category: Usual Suspects

  • A Little Tune for Someone

    Just think of this as a little early Father’s Day serenade for someone – in honor of their “resounding victory” in court the other day.

    King of the Sh!tbird Mountain

    I’m a heel, true sh!theel
    I can lie, dirty deal
    The truth won’t stop me trying

    ‘Cause it’s such fun, in the sun
    Watch me duck, watch me run
    Even after I’m caught lying

    I crashed in the corn
    Looked so lost and forlorn
    I crashed in a field
    Found the ground did not yield
    Someone’s screaming a name
    Calling me “Noah Gas” again

    I’m the King of the Sh!tbird Mountain
    Yes, the King of the Sh!tbird Mountain!

    Scheme all night and all day
    I can show you the way
    To get stuff that you don’t rate

    Sham all day and all night
    Love the dark hate the light
    Beady eyes show anger and hate

    I get the Bar’s ire
    ‘Cause they think I’m a liar
    Now they’re calling my name
    They want to slam me once again

    I’m the King of the Sh!tbird Mountain
    Yes, the King of the Sh!tbird Mountain!

    I get the Bar’s ire
    ‘Cause they think I’m a liar
    Someone’s screaming my name
    Might disbar me, what a damn shame

    I’m the King of the Sh!tbird Mountain
    Yes, the King of the Sh!tbird Mountain!

    Well I’m beyond help, you know I am

    I’m the King of the Sh!tbird Mountain
    Yes, the King of the Sh!tbird Mountain!

    Just look at me and listen
    I’m a fool, a tool, against me they’ll rule
    I’m the King of the Sh!tbird Mountain!

    I get the Bar’s ire
    ‘Cause they think I’m a liar
    I’m the King of the mountain
    I’m the King of the Sh!tbird Mountain!

    I’ll tell tales all night
    Never true or right
    I’m the King of the Sh!tbird Mountain!

     

    With apropos apologies to Richie Blackmore and Ronnie James Dio.

  • To Paraphrase A Great Man: “There They Go Again . . . . “

    Well, it looks like a couple of      tools     cretins     jackasses    everyone’s favorite individuals have been at it again.  A little birdie tells me that I’ve been identified!

    Yeah that little birdie tells me that SoMe GuY wHo WeArS pUrPlE-tIgEr-StRiPeD jUmPsUiTs and/or another guy in the Pacific Northwest (or SW Florida, if his move is now official) have been using their “mad skillz” as      jerks     dipsticks      fools      “trail assassin” and/or sleuth – as well as babbling semi-coherently – once again.  And since the same photos appear to have shown up on both their websites, they also seem to be coordinating their efforts.

    According to an item that little birdie screen-captured and sent to me, apparently now I’m a Captain in the Army – presumably serving on active duty.  They also appear to be saying I’m teaching at Appalachian State University.  But I guess they could mean I’m attending Appalachian State.  That part’s not really completely clear.

    At least that’s what they’re saying today.  Previously, I was Don Shipley.  Before that, a retired GO; afterwards, a retired SF SGM.  And maybe someone else sometime along the way, too.  Who knows?  Who can understand the workings of . . . “special” minds like theirs?

    Nonetheless:  be still, my beating heart!  Wow!  I’m a freaking university professor – or a university student.   Imagine that!  Now, I wonder . . . why I didn’t know that?  Did I miss the memo?  Did I have a memory lapse?  Am I suffering from selective amnesia?

    Oh, and if I’m an Army O-3 . . . that means I’ve managed to shed some years, too.  Damn – why didn’t anyone tell me about being younger!  I didn’t notice that!

    That also means the Army is supposed to be sending me an active-duty paycheck every month.  Damn – I guess I need to go see the folks at Finance.  I’ve apparently got a sh!tload of back pay coming my way – not to mention back housing allowance, subsistence allowance, and maybe others!  (I wonder if the assignment also qualifies for a civilian clothing allowance?  I can always use some nice new business attire . . . . )

    And I am either teaching at or attending Appalachian State University!  As Max the VW might put it: “That’s . . . . cool.”

    . . .

    OK, time to be serious.  I’d guess I could say, “Yeah, right.”  But it’s not right.

    I know you’re reading this, dumbclucks.  So listen up, you barely-literate, ignorant, addled-brained schmucks:   that’s the wrong individual.  Again.  For at least the fourth or fifth freaking time.

    Let me put this in very simple terms.  I’m doing that so you can understand it, hopefully without having someone else explain it to you.

    •  I do not now teach – nor have I ever taught – ROTC or anything else at Appalachian State University.  Hell, I had to do a Google search to find out where the place is located!

    •  I am not currently attending Appalachian State University.

    •  I have never been to Appalachian State University.  In fact, best I can tell I have never even been within 30 miles of Appalachian State University in my life.

    •  I most likely never will visit Appalachian State University, much less teach or attend classes there.  Trust me – if I ever end up teaching at or going back to college, Appalachian State is way down the list of places I’d want to attend or teach.

    •  And, finally, for completeness:  you have identified the wrong person – yet again.  I am not a Captain serving on active duty in the US Army at Appalachian State University.

    Is that clear enough – even for you?

    Out of courtesy towards the individual our     resident clowns and self-demonstrated fools      “good friends” here have misidentified as me, I won’t list his name.  He doesn’t need the hassle.

    What I will do is say the following, clearly and for the record:   the individual they claim to be me . . . is not.  Thunder Chickenchoker  and/or the guy from the Pac NW (or maybe now SW Florida) are 100% wrong – yet again, as usual.

    However:  I will offer you two “fine individuals” one bit of advice.  Since false written claims that tend to defame others are legally actionable as libel – if I were you two, I think I’d take that bit implying that a currently-serving Army Captain is engaging in “cyber stalking and harassment” down pronto.  You know, before that individual gets royally p!ssed and maybe files a non-frivolous lawsuit against one or both of you for defamation.

    But that’s your call.  Suit yourselves.

    . . .

    This whole business is getting fairly tiresome, though.  I’m considering telling one or more of these dipsticks where to go, and even giving them step-by-step directions on how to get there.

    I’m thinking they wouldn’t much like the results of the trip.  (smile)

  • Interesting . . . .

    Fox News’ psychiatrist and columnist Dr. Keith Ablow has written an interesting article today. If you’re interested, you can read it here.

    Yeah, it’s about Brian Williams and his apparent very public “liberties” with the truth. But I’ll be damned if I didn’t think of a few others we all “know and love” when I read it.

    YMMV, of course.

  • ‘American Power’ blog at ANSWER protest in Anaheim

    ‘American Power’ blog at ANSWER protest in Anaheim

    Mike Prysner commie lovin punk

    Our buddy, Donald Douglas, from “American Power” blog sends us a link to his report on the annual ANSWER “March to End Police Terror” in Anaheim, CA. It seems that they don’t like publicity, you know, even though they’re marching in public. They tormented Donald while he took their pictures and Tweeted about their little march.

    He bumped into our old friend Mike Prysner, the socialist/communist fellow who was a member of Iraq Veterans Against the War until he discovered that they weren’t radical enough for his tastes so he helped found “March Forward” the Maoist version of the veterans anti-war movement – ANSWER’s platoon of mannequins who call themselves veterans.

    According to Douglas, Prysner grabbed his camera/phone and threw it in the street. You know, because Prysner is against violence and all for social justice.

    Speaking of Prysner, we have a feature coming up about him written by someone who Prysner tried to silence with courtroom antics (like we’ve never seen that before).

    But you should click over to American Power and read the whole thing and look at the pictures of the goofy-looking freaks of ANSWER.

  • Reid: Americans are too stupid to sign up for ACA

    harryreidjihad

    Harry Reid, well-known draft-dodger (using the left’s definition of the term) and the Senate Majority Leader said that you are too stupid to use the internet to sign up for the Affordable Care Act, well, if you’re not lying about it, according to the Washington Beacon;

    “We have hundreds of thousands of people who tried to sign up who didn’t get through,” he said. “There are some people who are not like my grandchildren who can handle everything so easily on the Internet, and these people need a little extra time. It’s not — the example they gave us is a 63-year-old woman came into the store and said, ‘I almost got it. Every time I just about got there, it would cut me off.’ We have a lot of people just like this through no fault of the Internet, but because people are not educated on how to use the Internet.”

    Don’t you feel stupid, now? Of course, if we’re so stupid, why didn’t Congress mandate an alternate way to sign up for the abortion that the ACA has become? We’re probably too stupid to use a phone, too, or use our cars to drive to an office. Or to use a pen to fill out a form and mail it in.

    So, I guess we know what Harry thinks of us. I wonder how many of Harry Reid’s grandchildren are signed up for the ACA.

  • Hollywood supports Snowden

    David sends us a link to Just Foreign Policy which reprints a letter from the usual suspects who support Eddie Snowden, the NSA contractor who is in the process of releasing state secrets to encourage fellow traveler, Rafael Correa, the president of Ecuador, to accept Snowden as a refugee from American Justice;

    We have seen this drama play out several times before under the Obama administration. The administration has charged more than twice as many whistle-blowers under the Espionage Act than all previous presidents combined. These have included Thomas Drake who also exposed wrongdoing at the NSA, and most notably Private Bradley Manning, who stands accused of providing Wikileaks with information that revealed U.S. war crimes, U.S. meddling in other countries’ affairs, and other grave and troubling misdeeds.

    As could have been the case with Assange, Manning’s treatment since his arrest shows that Snowden could be subjected to cruel and unusual punishment if he were taken into U.S. custody. There is also a grave danger that Snowden would have difficulty in receiving a fair trial in the U.S. – a point he reportedly has made in his petition for asylum. Manning’s case also shows that Snowden’s constitutional right to a “speedy” trial might also not be secure. These are all serious examples of political persecution against Manning that may await Snowden if he becomes a U.S. prisoner.

    The list of signatories includes a bunch of the regular anti-American, commie-hugging know-nothings from Hollywood including Oliver Stone, Michael Moore, Danny Glover, John Cusack, Roseanne Barr and bunch of other B-list people of whom I’ve never heard. In the mix are political gadflies like Joe Wilson (wife of Valerie Plame), Noam Chomsky, Medea Benjamin, Jodie Evans, Ann Wright, Tom Hayden (Mrs. Jane Fonda) and Daniel Ellsburg.

    Yeah, so if I had an intention of ever supporting Snowden, this letter pretty much satisfies that urge. I also understand that if this had happened before last year’s election, none of these luminaries would have made a peep over the issue.

  • Abdo gets life

    Naser Abdo, the ambitious fellow who plotted to bomb and then shoot up a restaurant in Killeen, Texas, outside the gates of Fort Hood has been sentenced to life in prison by a federal judge, according to the Associate Press.

    Let’s recap, shall we; Abdo was AWOL from Fort Campbell after winning conscientious objector status from the Army, before child porn was found on his computer. His lawyer was James Branum, famous around these parts for defending countless deserters and AWOL soldiers at Fort Hood. After going AWOL himself, Abdo shows up in his lawyer’s stomping grounds, in the vicinity of “Under the Hood” an IVAW-sponsored coffee house where much of the local anti-war crowd gathered to plot the voicing of their displeasure with the wars. And where James Branum recruited clients for his law practice.

    Abdo had no visible means of support, yet he was living in a motel in Killeen and he was able to buy guns, ammunition and components for his bombs, not to mention military clothing he needed to execute his plot and the things like food and stuff.

    On the day Abdo was arrested, IVAW and James Branum went absolutely silent. Within a few weeks, Branum was out of the military lawyer thing and he’s gone back to Oklahoma to fail at practicing his trade there.

    We had IVAW members and some of their former fans from the Killeen area emailing us asking about how they could get in touch with the FBI in the hours following Abdo’s arrest. I don’t know how any of that turned out, and we’ll probably never know. But we can guess what all of that drama was about.

    Maybe someday Jason Abdo will tell us about it. I’d write his book for him.

  • Extremists worry FBI

    The FBI has put out another warning about extremists who threaten our nation’s security, but strangely enough, it’s not Muslim extremists who’ve been rather active the last few years. rather it’s those “anti-government” terrorists, you know – the folks who don’t trust government. I don’t know many of those people, do you? (Reuters link)

    Anti-government extremists opposed to taxes and regulations pose a growing threat to local law enforcement officers in the United States, the FBI warned on Monday.

    These extremists, sometimes known as “sovereign citizens,” believe they can live outside any type of government authority, FBI agents said at a news conference.

    The extremists may refuse to pay taxes, defy government environmental regulations and believe the United States went bankrupt by going off the gold standard.

    Oh, wait, maybe I do know some of those people…in fact I might be one of them given these clarifications.

    Legal convictions of such extremists, mostly for white-collar crimes such as fraud, have increased from 10 in 2009 to 18 each in 2010 and 2011, FBI agents said.

    “We are being inundated right now with requests for training from state and local law enforcement on sovereign-related matters,” said Casey Carty, an FBI supervisory special agent.

    Whew, law enforcement is being mobbed by 18 whole people across the country. But that’s up from 10 people the year before, so there’s definitely something to be concerned about.

    Sovereign members often express particular outrage at tax collection, putting Internal Revenue Service employees at risk.

    So, no real Americans are at risk?

    So we’ve got local law enforcement worried about veterans and now errant tax payers. Next the FBI will be warning us that puppies want to bite our ankles.

    Thanks to Old Trooper for that link.