This ain't Hell, but you can see it from here

Category: North Korea

  • More Ineffectual “Sabre-Rattling” by Lil’ Kim

    Well, the results of the Dork of NorK’ s latest episode of sabre-rattling have been released.  And it again looks like the “man” is probably going to need to have a public execution or two to soothe his injured feelings.

    Three days ago, Emmentaler-boi’s missile minions conducted two tests of the Musudan – North Korea’s new IRBM, likely the “big guy’s” second favorite missile after the one that’s his namesake (more about that later).  Intelligence reports regarding these tests have now been made public.

    The results?  Both missiles apparently blew up shortly after launch..

    Oopsie.

    This makes the number of successful Musudan by Lil’ Kim’s missile program precisely zero.  I’m sure that’s not exactly what the “big guy” wanted to hear.

    Further:  results from recent testing of ND:tBF’s favorite (and namesake) missile, the No Dong, haven’t been much better.  One test of the Scud-C-derived No Dong held last month was similarly unsuccessful, with that missile also exploding after launch.  (A  second No Dong test last month was apparently successful.)

    That’s 1 for 5 for the last 5 major NorK missile tests.  My guess is that this means there will be some significant opportunities for “upward mobility” within the NorK missile program in the near-term future.

    No word yet on how Fatboy Kim will calm his massive bulk after these latest two rather spectacular failures.  While a public execution or several is probably a given, the method to be used is anyone’s guess.  But it’s a good bet it will be gruesome and novel.

    And he can always down a few more kilograms of Emmentaler to make himself feel better.  What does he care if it means a few of his peasant comrades will have to starve for weeks in order to come up with the funds to import same?

  • Fatass Fuhrer’s Proxy Phallus Fails

    North Korea tested a missile yesterday (our time – the test occurred on 15 April in Korea).  The test was in honor of the 104th birthday of North Korea’s “eternal president”, Kim Il-Sung.

    The test was reportedly a failure.

    The missile tested yesterday reportedly used the same engine as the SLBM North Korea tested last year.  That earlier test also failed.

    No word on who ND:tBF, AKA the Dork of NorK AKA Ementaller-boi AKA Fatboy Kim, will have executed next to soothe his massive bulk’s irritated nerves.  However, since this was the same type of rocket engine that failed previously, I’d be very worried if I’d ever worked on designing/building/installing that engine.

     

  • Trouble In (“Workers”) Paradise?

    It appears not everyone is happy in that “workers’ paradise” called North Korea.  Nor it seems is everyone there enamored with ND:tBF, AKA the Dork of NorK AKA Ementaller-boi AKA Fatboy Kim.

    In fact, some in NorkLand even seem to be voting with their feet.  As in “departing for other countries” posthaste.

    Oh, did I mention that the latter group now apparently includes a group of 13 North Koreans working at a restaurant in another country who defected en masse to South Korea recently?  Or that a number of other lower-level North Korean officials have also recently defected to avoid “’Lil Kim’s” purges?  Or that the defector list now appears to include a Colonel who formerly worked for North Korean military intelligence?

    Fox News has a story giving a few more details about the above.  IMO it’s worth the time to read.

    No word yet on who Fatboy Kim will have executed soon.  But you know it’s going to happen.  He has to soothe his massive bulk’s irritated nerves somehow, and that seems to be his method of choice.

  • Norks threaten nuclear strike on DC

    Norks threaten nuclear strike on DC

    Fox News reports that the Hermit Kingdom is *yawn* threatening to nuke DC because of training exercises in South Korea involving 300,000 South Korean troops and 17,000 American troops. From NDtBF;

    “If we push the buttons to annihilate the enemies even right now, all bases of provocations will be reduced to seas in flames and ashes in a moment,” the North’s statement said.

    […]

    North Korea’s bellicose rhetoric raises unease in Seoul and its U.S. ally, not least because of the huge number of troops and weaponry facing off along the world’s most heavily armed border, which is an hour’s drive from the South Korean capital of Seoul and its 10 million residents.

    The rival Koreas’ usual animosity occasionally erupts in bloody skirmishes — 50 South Koreans were killed in attacks in 2010 that Seoul blames on the North — and there is always a worry about an escalation of violence.

    Ho-hum. It’s like that steady stream of emails I get from the other terrorists in Florida. Nuking DC wouldn’t be a great loss anyway.

    It’s not all fun and gaes for the troops in the exercise, either. Bobo sends us a link from the Watertown Daily Times to whom troops from Fort Drum complained that they’re getting charged for meals they can’t eat during the exercise;

    In their letter, the deployed Fort Drum soldiers say that their ability to obtain meals at the dining facilities is unworkable, given the times that their aviation unit currently operates.

    “Without going into great detail, our typical day to day operations require our personnel to work odd hours,” the soldiers’ letter said.

    Sending soldiers to the dining facilities during their current operation hours “would disrupt operations to the point of mission failure.”

    The soldiers noted that the dining facility is 40 minutes each way from their work site by shuttle, making it essentially impossible to budget time to eat there.

    “It is safe to assume that a Soldier would be away from their place of duty for approximately two and a half hours, each meal, in a twelve hour work day,” the soldiers wrote.

    More of the budget not being balanced on the back of the Defense Department, I guess. We probably shouldn’t expect that aviators can eat three MREs a day, either.

  • The Latest “Glorious Idea” from ND:tBF

    Wondering what’s new from ND:tBF – AKA Emmentaler-boi, the Dork of NorK, and Fatboy Kim?  Well, it seems some of his henchmen are sending helium filled balloons to his enemies.

    Oh, that’s nothing new.  People in the two Koreas have been doing that for decades now.  The usual procedure is to launch helium-filled balloons with a payload – generally propaganda leaflets, but sometimes religious literature is the payload chosen by some South Korean Christian groups – when winds are favorable for the balloons to drift over the other nation.  Sometimes the more sophisticated balloons have a timer and a small charge to deflate the balloon and/or scatter the payload’s contents.

    But this time, it seems that ND:tBF and his minions have indeed come up with a new twist.  Besides the propaganda leaflets, this time around they included a few other things.

    Like cigarette butts.  And used TP.

    Seriously.

    Here’s another report.  There are more.

    I guess that means Fatboy Kim must have cut back on his cheese consumption. (smile)

  • ND:tBF Makes Boom-Boom . . . .

    . . . but not with Ms. Kim.  (smile)

    Apparently the Dork of NorK’s minions detonated another nuclear device yesterday.  Yield was apparently smaller than their previous test about 2 years ago, which was estimated at between 1 and 30 kilotons (with approx 7.9 kilotons being the most probable value).

    However, Emmentaler-Boi has claimed that this was a thermonuclear device.  While it’s possible the NORKs managed to put a bit of tritium and deuterium in a fission warhead this time, the observed yield argues strongly against this being a true (Ulam-Teller) thermonuclear device.  The primary (e.g., the fission device used to cause thermonuclear reactions) used in a true thermonuclear device is typically on the order of the magnitude seen here; the fusion reactions typically add greatly to the yield.  Even a thermonuclear “fizzle” (a device that falls far short of expected yield) typically has a much larger explosive yield than observed in this case (very likely substantially less than 8 kT).

    And if this was a test of a boosted device (a device with introduced deuterium and tritium in order to increase explosive yield), well . . . apparently it sucked.  Pretty badly.

    Assessment.  Fatboy Kim here appears to be lying through his teeth about the “thermonuclear” part.

    Anyone surprised?

  • ND:tBF Fires More Senior Officials

    Well, the Dork of NorK – AKA Emmentaler-Boi, “Fatboy Kim”, and “ND:tBF” – is in the news again.

    Since last week, North and South Korea have reached an agreement to reduce tensions on their DMZ. Those tensions had led to a recent exchange of artillery fire across the DMZ.

    North Korea expressed “regret” at the wounding of two South Korean soldiers by a landmine (almost certainly planted by North Korea, but unacknowledged by the North). In turn, South Korea stopped loudspeaker propaganda broadcasts across the DMZ that it had resumed recently.

    This output reportedly “pleased” ‘Lil Kim. Accordingly, he showed his approval by firing several senior North Korean defense officials.

    Specifically, he fired several members of North Korea’s Central Military Commission. That body had handled the recent confrontation with South Korea.

    Apparently Emmentaler-Boi was “displeased” because the situation didn’t turn out as expected. I guess he thought the ROK government would cower or grovel instead of fighting back when the North lobbed a shell or two across the DMZ.  So he fired those who handled the confrontation on his behalf.

    Either that, or he was totally clueless beforehand that his military planned something that damn near started a war, and was p!ssed when he found out what had happened. Choose which of the two you want to believe.  I’m opting for him using the fired Central Military Commission people as scapegoats – with possibly a bit of political payback/”internal show of strength”/put his own guys in key places added.  But I could be wrong.

    No word yet on when the fired officials’ executions will be held. There’s also no indication what new, novel, and inhumane method will be used this time.

  • US-South Korea Military Exercise Halted – Maybe

    In response to the DMZ incident yesterday, the US and South Korea reportedly halted their annual joint military exercise Ulchi Freedom Guardian.  This year’s exercise had begun on Monday, 17 August 2015 and was originally scheduled to end on Friday, 28 August 2015.

    It is not clear whether the exercise has resumed, might be resumed, or if the remainder has been cancelled outright.   Some reports indicate that the exercise has indeed been resumed.  Others only indicate it has been halted.

    The halt occurred after an exchange of artillery fire across the Korean DMZ.  US defense officials publicly announced the halt, while asserting that they were “monitoring the situation”.  Later claims were that it was a “planned halt” and a halt to consult with South Korea regarding the DMZ incident.

    Hmm.  I guess sabre-rattling – even with a needle-thin, weak, and unreliable tool like the one ND:tBF waves around publicly from time to time – can be effective if your opponent lacks both backbone and guts.  Gee, who’d a thunk it?

    Well done, Obama Administration.  You just caved, and gave the Dork of NorK – AKA Fatboy Kim – exactly what he wanted.

    Why in the hell do you think the DPRK chose this week to lob a few shells southwards?  North Korea has tried for years to get annual US-ROK exercises cancelled or halted; they’ve occasionally been successfu at doing that.  By making this halt public – and by appearing confused and uncertain about what you were doing – you just handed North Korea a major propaganda victory on that score.  That’s true even if the exercise was only halted temporarily.

    But don’t worry, folks; everything will be all right.  After all:  caving and giving a sabre-rattling despot exactly what he wanted worked perfectly well back in the 1930s, right?