Category: Pointless blather

The theme is timeless, so most readers can probably identify.

Using a coin as metaphor:

Obverse.

Reverse.

On Edge.

Maybe there was something in the water back in the early/mid 1970s.

The French are famous for their Gallic panache.  And while I understand that the present-day French don’t really consider French-Canadians to be – or to speak – “true French”, there are nonetheless some strong cultural similarities between the two peoples because of common heritage.

Last year, I observed some of those similarities firsthand.  While visiting Montreal, I stayed at a small hotel.  The hotel had an arrangement with an adjacent café to serve breakfast to the hotel’s guests as part of the room’s cost.

The breakfast was nothing fancy:  a small buffet consisting of boiled eggs, some ham, yoghurt, bagels (Montreal is big on both yoghurt and bagles), some fruit, bread, jam, etc . . . .  They had a toaster, and also had both coffee and juice.  You served yourself, and left when you were done.

All in all, not a bad breakfast – especially considering the price.  (smile)

However, they also had pancake batter and a self-serve griddle for making pancakes.  This in turn meant they had maple syrup on the buffet line as well.   (Yes, it was real maple syrup – this was in Montreal, remember?)

As I recall, I’d gotten my breakfast and was seated.  While I was having breakfast I observed a young couple who were also in the café.  I wasn’t being nosy; the café was fairly small, so I really didn’t have much choice except to see and hear what they were doing.

By accent and other indications, the man appeared to be French-Canadian.  His girlfriend appeared to be American – by accent, I’d guess from somewhere in the Midwest/Great Lakes region.

They went up to the buffet.  The lady went to the griddle and made a pancake or two, apparently for herself.  In contrast, the man picked up some bread and toasted it.  He then put it on his plate and proceeded to put some maple syrup on it.  (Not exactly my “thing”, but hey: whatever.)

His girlfriend looked at him and said in a mildly exasperated tone, “You Canadians put maple syrup o­n everything, don’t you?”

The guy’s response was priceless.  Without missing a beat – and with perfect Gallic nonchalance and a distinct French-Canadian accent – he replied:  “It is . . . the Canadian way.”

Since the guy was apparently French-Canadian, IMO that qualifies as at least semi-Gallic panache.  (smile)

Well, I hope most of our readers will be amused – though I’m reasonably certain that humorless ideologues won’t be.

Gee.  That’s too bad.

But since today is the      Communist     “Progressive” High Holy Day called May Day, these just seem apropos.  (smile)

Backstory:  longtime readers know I’m into music and am also a somewhat sardonic individual.  Sometimes a  “modified” lyrical phrase will get stuck in my head – eventually forcing me to complete the tune’s conversion in semi-Yankovician style.  (smile)

Without further ado:  in the tradition of both “Weird Al” Yankovic and Rocky & Bullwinkle’s “Fractured Fairy Tales”, here are two more “rewritten” popular tunes of yesteryear for your reading pleasure.  If you’re unfamiliar with the originals, they can be viewed/listened to here and here.

Enjoy.

. . .

 

Poodle Logic

Well I’m crisscrossing my homeland
In the Useful Idiot show
Now I’m resting here in Berkeley
Fellow Traveler Central, yo

And I’m preachin’ to proles daily, but they just laugh
They say I sound just like stuck phonograph
Claim Marx is gone forever
Gone such a long time ago, oh yeah

I have never met Mao Zedong
But I plan to find the time
And I’ve never met Joe Stalin
Another true hero of mine

‘Cause he looked so fine on Kremlin hill
I say they both were Great Men, they’re Great Men still
No need to fear the commie
Forget all the millions they killed, oh yeah

I stepped up on the platform
They forced me to my knees
“Your usefulness has ended son
Time to face the steel breeze
Your soul must ride the breeze”

Please tell me you’re just joking, that’s just for show?
I’m really quite superior, why don’t you know?
Wait, what? I’m done forever?
Usefulness ended long ago? Oh, no . . . .

 

Reordering the House

Reordering the house
Now Trump’s the POTUS
Pelosi’s gone to pieces and collapsed in pain

Reordering the house
Progs now duck and cover
Their future journey’ will be over rough terrain

Reordering the house
Real-world wisdom
Leftists all punch drunk, staggering around

Reordering the house
There’s a new, brand new sheriff
And the new guy in charge is gonna turn the whole thing ’round

He’s brash and outspoken
Don’t like it? Well, boo hoo
Just what did you expect
He’s a Noo Yawker through and through

Reordering the house
For the Left, hurts like flame
Even the Vermont Commie seems to feel ashamed

Reordering the house
Now maybe we’ll get lucky
And the Earth will open and swallow up the 4th estate

Clintons got their paycheck
Now maybe they’ll both go away
They can go to Paris or to Fiji – and maybe there they’ll stay

Home again of the brave and the land of the free
And much better off now without Hillary

Reordering the house
Plans didn’t work out
Libs sprawled across the davenport of despair

Reordering the house
If you can’t stand your losses
Then keep your word, and get the hell out of here

 

Appropriate apologies to Walter Becker, Donald Fagan, Jorge Calderón, and the late Warren Zevon for the above satirical modifications to their original lyrics.

Recorded after the man learned he was terminally ill. IMO if this upbeat little tune isn’t Key West’s and the Mardi Gras’ theme song, it should be.

 

If the guitar work and background vocals sound somewhat familiar, if you’re a Tom Petty fan they should. The background vocals were done by Tom; much of the guitar work was done by Petty’s longtime guitarist from the Heartbreakers, Mike Campbell.

Gone too soon, Warren. We hardly knew ye.

Some observations from a few weeks spent largely on the road.

• The United States is freaking huge. (Duh!) But you don’t really understand how huge this country is until you travel by road.

• 70+ F is definitely preferable to 30 F.

• No part of the country is free of oblivious and/or idiot drivers. Regardless of region, they do seem much more common in and around cities. But small towns and rural areas have their share too.

• Maybe it’s just me, but a surprising number of truckers seem to have have p!ss-poor road manners these days compared to 20 or so years ago.

• “Take the freeway” isn’t always your best option. The freeways aren’t always better roads, and they’re generally a helluva lot more crowded.

• Some of America’s highways need serious attention. Kinda makes you wonder where all that “stimulus” money earmarked to improve America’s infrastructure under the previous Occupant, 1600 Penn Ave, Wash DC, went.

• Don’t forget to take free breakfast – or lack thereof – and free WiFi into account when deciding where to stay for the night when you’re on the road. You can easily drop $10 a person on breakfast, and depending on your wireless plan you may pay dearly for Internet connectivity via wireless too.

• A five-hundred mile day behind the wheel isn’t too bad.

• Seven-hundred mile days on the road . . . kinda suck.

• Nine-hundred mile days really suck.

• A nearly eleven-hundred mile day behind the wheel sucks the Grand Wazoo. They’re not necessarily the smartest thing one can do, either.  But sometime it’s worth it.

•Toll highways suck. Ditto toll bridges.  Even so, sometimes paying the toll is worth it.

• Long-distance travel by road beats you up physically far more than you might expect.

And, finally

• The US Southwest between the Pecos and Colorado Rivers (the big Colorado River, not that little one in Texas) has to be one of the most physically beautiful areas on earth. If you’ve never spent any time there, you really should put visiting that area on your “bucket list”.

As much as I enjoy travel, it will be damn good to get off the road.  And it looks like that will happen quite soon.  One trip yet to go, but it’s a relatively short one.

Take care, all.