Author: TSO

[Extra points if you knew that the TWO??!? reference above was a nod to the great Casey Kassim! And where are those pictures I asked for.]

Anyone else ever notice that every ri-tard we cover here is tied to every other ri-tard we cover here? It’s like six degrees of Kevin Bacon, although it could be Kokesh or any other of these miscreants. Anyway, I am honestly pissed at myself that everyone already is beating on SPLC. As the great Otter once noted (I’m paraphrasing):

Hey, they can’t do that to our SPLC, only we can do that to our SPLC.

Anyway, tucked away in the middle of their asstacular new report was this bit of hyperbolic cranial rectal inversion:

“We are in the midst of one of the most significant right-wing populist rebellions in United States history,” Chip Berlet, a veteran analyst of the American radical right, wrote earlier this year. “We see around us a series of overlapping social and political movements populated by people [who are] angry, resentful, and full of anxiety. They are raging against the machinery of the federal bureaucracy and liberal government programs and policies including health care, reform of immigration and labor laws, abortion, and gay marriage.”

I naturally had one of those “Alice? Who the F is Alice?” moments and googled the Great Chip Berlet, The Seer of Seers, Sage of Sages, Prognosticator of Prognosticators, the man that men want to be, that women want to be with, and some confused Male Navy Veterans also want to be with….And, Voila! Eureka, Holy Cow, Call the Money Store Toll Free! He (well, let me quote it):

has earned a living as a reporter, researcher, paralegal investigator, photographer, graphic artist, printer, and truck driver. He helped form and was for many years a shop steward in the UAW affiliated staff union within the National Lawyers Guild.

Yeah, the same National Lawyers Guild that spawned out the Great Legal Mind of our generation, Mr. Can’t-Spell-Shit himself, James Branum. Well, there, I lied, it was only one step.

Bear in mind that SPLC was the source for all that “Veterans as Maniac” bullshit that DHS had on the bargain bin last year. But, this Chip cat does know the rage and brings the stupid with a flair that makes Johnny Weir a random non-specific gay male figure skater look like he has all the dexterity of Godzilla:

Berlet accused then-incumbent President George H. W. Bush of an “agenda of a managed corporate economy, a repressive national security state, and an aggressive foreign policy based on military threat” that “borrows heavily from…corporatism, authoritarianism, and militarism adopted by Italian fascism.” Berlet said of Ross Perot: “Perot’s candidacy provided us with a contemporary model of the fascist concept of the organic leader.”

I don’t even really like Glenn beck to be honest, he’s a bit out there and his cavorting with fruit loops makes me really wary of him, but when SPLC attacks him, it only makes me post shit like this that exonerates him on the charges they levy:

Potok, stick to animated TV Shows where you battle the Herculoids, and leave the heavy thinking to the adults.

My apologies for my absence last week, I was in DC scouting out the terrain for the DuPont Drag Races in October. I will look FABULOUS and am in it to win it!

In 1943, Jan Baalsrud and some fellow commandos went to Norway on the very specific mission of destroying an air traffic control tower with a fishing boat. Fearing that a fishing boat alone may not be sufficient, they also filled it to the tits with explosives.

Unfortunately, the Germans caught wind of Operation Fishing Boat Bang Bang Explody Pow and were lying in wait. Jan and the others, seeing how fucked they were, lit the fuse on the explosives and tried to escape in a smaller boat; a plan which resulted in them having exactly zero remaining boats (approximately one less than the recommended amount for seafaring adventures).

Jan and his buddies were now in freezing waters and being shot to pieces. They all swam for the coast, but only Jan got away. Because his luck hadn’t been shitty enough up to this point, he was immediately shot in the foot upon reaching land. Caught between freezing to death and bleeding to death, Jan also had the Germans behind him. Capture seemed imminent and, quite frankly, preferable.

Go see how this one turns out…

H/t to a red little M&M.

A while ago I started a post on this, but got the shit beat out of me on the birther thing so never finished it, but I will start again, because now we have a Kokesh tie-in. It started with this utterly absurd World Nut Daily article:

Responding to an executive order by President Obama, a new push is under way for states to adopt laws limiting the use of their National Guard units unless there is an invasion, insurrection or other limited circumstance.

As WND reported, Obama’s order establishes a new “Council of Governors” designated to advise on the “synchronization and integration of state and federal military activities in the United States.”

The recent order, posted on the White House website, was accompanied by the explanation that the group is to work “to protect our nation against all types of hazards.” It comes just weeks after the president issued a similarly obscure order vastly expanding INTERPOL’s privileges in the U.S.

Then it goes completely off the flat Earth:

However, there was no definition of the group’s authority. Can the council recommend “military activities” and can the governors, who already are in command of their own state guard units, mandate activities outside of their areas of jurisdiction? The White House did not respond to WND questions on the issue.

Holy shit! The Muslim Commander in Chief from Kenya is installing a puppet shadow government to take over the National Guard! Read a book people! Help us Ron Paul, you are our only hope!!!11!!!

Let me take a stab in the dark here WND. Yes, they can recommend that. They can also recommend starting James Branum at Center instead of Yao Ming. They can recommend whatever the hell they want, doesn’t become legally binding. Can they “Mandate” anything, no. Pretty simple, how about reading the effing Executive Order instead of just making shit up?

They didn’t respond to your questions, because they are idiotic. Oh, and it isn’t Obama doing this you fucktards, they are only doing what Congress told them to do, in the FY 2008 National Defense Authorization Act, section 1822.

It isn’t an “obscure order” it is something demanded by law. How can you demand following the law, and then when he does it you accuse him of using “obscure orders” to effectuate his totalitarian takeover of our country.

I really hate these idiotic conspiracy theories and the people pushing them. Jermoe Corsi in particular is out of his mind. How many horror stories have I had to respond to about the North American Union and other such nonsense. “Did you know that the Mexicans are seizing control of St Louis and a huge highway blah blah blah toss my salad….” Enough already, it is stupid.

Anyway, who is the group created to fight against this incursion? Well, a group called the 10th Amendment Center. For the record, I am as big a supporter in the 10th Amendment as anyone. Frankly, my response to questions regarding Abortion, Gay marriage and other issues is “Let the states decide.” So I don’t take a back seat on State’s Rights to anyone, but pushing this kind of crap just gets folks worked up, and they don’t understand the subject enough not to act like imbeciles. WND should know better.

And who is working with the Tenth Amendment Center? Who is attending their function today? Our own Piss Bottle Collector Extra-Ordinaire: Adam Kokesh.

UPDATE: You want some hyperbole? I challenge you to top this one:

Breaking News – Obama Signs Martial Law Executive Order

It looks as though President Obama today has taken his first step towards martial law in America. I just pulled this piece off the wires which indicates the issuance of his new executive order. This order sets up the framework for the use of federal troops and the combination of state and federal agencies under the Defense Department. This is startling news for many reasons. Why now? Why now?

Total crock of shit.

I won’t even go through the whole thing, but I bet this was written by one of the great gay soldiers of our time, like Rick Duncan or Michael Patrick McMananus.

Why would I call bullshit so quick? Well, let me see, the title is:

An infantry officer in Afghanistan explains the personal relevance of DADT

and paragraph 3 opens with:

As a former combat arms commander….

Maybe Maddow should hire someone who knows something about the military instead of regurgitating bullshit stories.

Since I am accused of hypocrisy at times, here is a perfect opportunity to take issue with my side, in this case “Americans For Prosperity.” Here is the video, and in case they take it down (not that I expect they will) here is the explanation:

When an AFP activist confronts a supporter of Washington’s health care take over about the poor conditions at Veterans hospitals, he responds by saying Veterans hospitals are not government run, they are “Pentagon run”.

Yes, the hippie is an idiot. Unfortunately, AFP is wrong here too. First off, the discussion was not about “Veterans hospitals” it was about WRAMC, which is an Army hospital. Second, it wasn’t the medical care that was the issue, it was out-patient housing.

But, to their credit, I responded as much to the AFP person who emailed it to me, and he immediately responded with an apology saying only that he wanted to point out how idiotic the hippie was. Agreed sir, I hereby award you my daily medal in Hippie Bashing!

Nonetheless, I have done my part in trying to correct them, and will continue to get their mailings, because they do do a good job at highlighting our economic problems and the inability of liberalism to adequately address them. I just didn’t approve of the caption which unneccessarily maligns the hard working folks at WRAMC.

UPDATE: To their credit, they immediately fixed the caption. If only our lefty friends could correct themselves with such alacrity.

Curt yesterday:

Here’s a good one for you. Why can’t an Americans be beautiful and intellegent. Because then they would be Dutch!!
Hhahahahahahahahahaha

TSO Today:

Here’s a good one for you. Why aren’t Americans cowardly eunuchs? Because then they would be Dutch!! Hhahahahahahahahahaha

CNN:

Fear prompts bobsledders to quit Olympics

Van Calker told his coach he just couldn’t drive this track and so on Wednesday the four-man No. 1 sled from the Netherlands pulled out of the Olympics.

Because their driver was terrified.

“I’ve never seen someone get to a major event and not compete because they’re scared. You keep your inner fears to yourself and do it,” de la Hunty told reporters at a news conference. “That’s why it’s such a popular sport in the military. It’s that kind of macho sport. You go over the top together.”

Nice country you have there Curt. Got Testicles?

There are a lot of folks who are unencumbered by any honor or integrity, but at the top of that list must go Mark Potok and SPLC. Even when it is proven that what Potok has said is incorrect, he blithely argues against the facts. What makes him so odious is that he ostensibly even does it in the name of stopping racism and creating equality. Those are laudable goals, but they are not effectuated by just making shit up and smearing people. Which is why Potok is the biggest pile of excrement in a field full of bullshit.

As a case in point, I will refer to today’s “Hatewatch Headlines.” Specifically, this one:

Austin Killer Becoming a Hero to the Radical Right In the hours since a man enraged at the government slammed his small plane into an IRS building, white supremacists and their fellow travelers have elevated Joseph Andrew Stack into an icon of resistance to tyranny.

It’s not even subtle the way he did that. See, if you are a white supremacist, you are by definition “Radical Right.” How does that work exactly? Doesn’t matter, Potok says it does, so there. It’s the same way that he called gang members in a previous report “Radical Rightwing Racists.” I mean sure, they were gang members in Seattle, but let’s not let that get in the way of a good mantra.

Let’s look closer at his article. Mind you, he only writes shit like this because he knows that some of you suckers on the left will buy into it and open your checkbook. It’s just like their bullshit legal case that they were doing for the poor downtrodden youth whose name and home address they just threw up on the internet despite their claims that they were doing it because he was ashamed to be singled out. They don’t actually care about those people they purport to represent; all they want is the greenbacks.
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OK, normally I would cross post it here, but I am getting tips and emails and comments in both places, and honestly, they are exceeding my ability to keep them straight, and most folks don’t know that I am the same person. Now, since the Legion paid me to hunt around Southern Indiana on Monday, I am going to post it over there and y’all should come read it. I will have more updates back here, but for purposes of my sanity, I am limiting this one and linking back over.

So, here is the link, please leave comments and tips there, not in both places.

They’re coming to take me away, ha ha…..