Author: Claymore

Capt. Crazy Eyes is back on the DUmpster

But don’t call us commies.

Anti-abortion = Sharia Law

You 2A clingers are idiots who don’t unnerstand the Constipulation

…but only if you drive a Jeep Wrangler.

The good news is that this frees her up to flash her tits in another crappy movie.

Republicans hate those who no speaky de English.

Clueless

Yes, because government can cure HIV spread via the dentist.

Stupidest question ever asked, maybe. Oh, and hooters.

The gate to hell is in Turkey. Like you guys didn’t suspect that already.

I love spring. It’s when the liberals come out, see their shadow, and then bash the military for another 9 months.

And now we’re also responsible for atrocities in North Korea. Nice.

This is something I can get my hands around.

Head Munchkin says that California isn’t in trouble…say what?

Thanks for reminding me that Chicago is a pus filled abscess.

This is the Jews fault, somehow.

Interstate communists

Red states are taxing

Paging Mark Potok

Liberals finally find a religious leader they only sort of hate a little less than usual.

Test-acles.

Lil’ Kim and the incoming coup?

Fifty shades of ghey,

Sort of puts a new spin on the old ‘pu-pu’ platter.

Keynesian from the Kenyan

Read a book you idiot! Legalize pot! It’s the Zionists fault! Ban the Post Office! Open up Area 51! Where’s my Star Wars collectables???

If you’re laughing at your own jokes, well…

Blame Bush…2013 Edition.

I’ve been meaning to talk to you about your FLIR.

Blooming idiots

..because MSNBC says so.

Call it “executive orders” if you makes you feel any better.

With mentors like this…

So apparently someone saw Chris Rock’s stand-up routine on the subject.

I have to admit, it is a happy side effect.

You could have left off “…after expensive dinner dates” and it would still be accurate.

And slavery was legal then too, what’s your point.

Liberal commenters are meanies.

Does bad sex equal rape?

We’re saving tons of money post-GITMO closure…no wait…

Guns, race and suicide.

Second coming?

When you read this, try using Mel Gibson’s horrible Scottish accent from Braveheart.

DUer is against “bullets in the streets”. I admit, that’s a pretty poor use of scarce ammo.

“We need another dozen or so crisis’s.”

I thought Uncle Joe said we were the black helicopter crowd.

Incremental Single Payer

AR-15 is useless against and F-16.

Preppers are assholes for not sharing.

So don’t be eating your cheese into the shape of a cross or anything.

DU Grand-Poobah limits conversations to certain topics in an effort to further free speech.

Quoting the Daily Kos for statistics is like asking Rosie O’Donnell for weight loss advice.

You forgot #4; only wars started by Democrats are just and legal.

The “left” is really the “middle” and the “right” are “Nazis”. It’s all so clear now.

Hildebeast/Fauxcahontas 2016!

AWB isn’t completely useless?

Men are always guilty, no matter what.

DUer’s understand representative government gooder than you does.

Carpet munchers.

…but never say they’re against your right to protect yourself.

It’s almost enough to piss off the Pope.

…but I draw the line at midgets and donkeys.

F*ck capitalism…I’m posting this on Facebook, using my iPad!

Barrack Satan Obama

DUer says they will go shooting to see what it’s like…probably will get possessed by Evil Black Rifle.

Well Regulated

Outsourcing rape

Apparently DU is where you go to air your dirty laundry.

Well, if given the choice, who you rather use birth control on?

Hundreds of thousands of hundreds of dozens of millions of thousands…

Reagan was a traitor?

Theoretically, that shirt isn’t going to iron itself.

Funny t-shirt is sexist or something.

…and the North still lies that the war was about abolition. What’s your point.

“Mass” Discrimination. Get it? Mass? Because it’s Catholic. Trust me, it’s funny.

DUer’s pretend they won’t support Obama on something…hilarity ensues.

Sit and Spin Zone

Michelle who?

Oh! That Michelle…the one with the nice pokies!

Democrats “own” minorities

Upholding the Constitution apparently makes you an asshole. Go figger.

Boehner admits that he and Barry are BFFs

Republicans will never be cool enough

Working on his short game

Sins of the father

I see an assload of Democrat donors on that list, Sparky.

“Basic income” as an established right?

WTF is a non-binary gender?

“…but when WE did it, it was only for empowering people.”

Who’s ready for $10 a gallon gasoline and $15 cheeseburgers?

Being black and experiencing racism = automatically liberal?

Rehabing Bobby

Conservatives are a buncha pick-up truck drivin’ NASCAR gun shooting rednecks, yuk yuk yuk…

Assault Phone

Emasculation of the nation now requires classes on how to raise our boys. Wow.

AR-15s cause global warming. True story.

…and the horse you rode in on.

Print me out a couple for the range, hoss.

Gunning for traffic deaths

Judd’s Jugs

Jackass

Signs signs, everywhere is signs…

Oh noes!

“Liberal Gun Guy”…oxymoron.

Cutting pork, Nugent style

Corky gets a job?

Colonial hatred

Don’t drone me, bro!

Liberals are patriots

…if she had a gun?

Clearly not enough people have died trying to make this work, so.

Send money, not prayers.

Who’s afraid of the Big Bad Budget!

This is news?

10 out of 10 chickens hate chicken sandwiches

What the truck!!!

Help a brotha out.

Pain in the assets

Hillary the warmonger

History, man…what a bummer.

Holy Testicle Tuesday!

Driving is oppressive

License to be stupid

Peak oil…not this shit again.

Whimper Control

From the “No Good Deed Goes Unpunished” file.

…and still no interest in Benghazi.

What’s wrong with America in one photograph

“I won.”

Using this logic, my wife doesn’t have too many shoes, she doesn’t have enough feet.

Yeah, with a name like Turtle, what did you expect?

Maybe they need better donut shops

Unpossible…they support Democrats, so this can’t be true.

Hypothetically Gored

Hugo’s Labor Of Love

Talk about throwing money down a rat hole…

Cardinal sins

The Spy Who Ogled Me

Yeah, well that and alcohol.

Even DU is worried about the ammo buy up by DHS…hmm.

But don’t call them communists…

I’m sure Ted’s devastated.

Mighty Whitey

Glimpse into the future?

Yeah, I’m sure the gun companies are hurting real bad right now.

Keith who?

Moderate liberalism…sort of like moderate Muslims with less explosions.

Atomic Bum

Not sure how, but I’m certain this was George Bush’s fault.

Because you idiots keep drinking out of it?

Timely. And relevant. Oh, and hilarious too. yawn

Be careful what you wish for…Germany tried that whole ‘one party’ thing…how’d that turn out again?

Laying the pipe.

Loser

…because that’s where the money is.

Stupid Reaganomics killed the stupid country.

Yeah, Harry Reid…why can’t you just do this?

Florida sinkholes are agriculture’s fault

Meet the new boss, same as the old boss

“Racially attacked”

How soon they forget…conveniently.

“Good” Federal workers don’t deserve furloughs

Translation: Give Me Free Stuffs!!

Nation Of Islam not a radical group…yup.

Lives in Tennessee for the last 20 years, runs for Senate in Kentucky…and I thought it was just yankees who were the carpetbaggers.

You are entitled to “earned benefits”.

Media is corrupt, but not for the reasons you’d think.

Red state worries

Reading Ezra Klein is taxing.

In other words, he’s campaigning from now until he leaves office.

Those mean old Republicans are forcing Democrats to do stuff.

“I’ll take ‘Penis Gargling Sycophants’ for $1000, Alex.”

So what you’re saying is that you didn’t know that your beloved communist leader really likes his money?

Religion of Piss

Keith who on what show?

Media is in the bag for Republicans…say what…

Chewie does Hollywood

You ain’t the boss of me

Le Ghey

Millionaires handing out little gold statues to other millionaires

Drone deaf

Social disease

Two liters of concentrated stupid

Hanging with Mr. Stupid

Porking chicks

Sven’s Felony Spa & Grill

Happy ending

Rehabing Nutty Jimmah

DUer’s has jerbs…sure they do.

“…laugh it up, fuzzball.”

Aren’t these the same people who advocated the military ignore Bush’s orders?

Well if anyone would know about excessive use of vaginas…

The “majority” think Obama is trying to make things better…but for whom?

Same shame

You keep using that word…

“Scarry” list (PS, spell checker is your friend)

Next up, Michelle Obama fan fiction where she cures cancer, feeds the hungry with moon cheese and runs for pope, wins the Stanley Cup and beats Danica Patrick on Super Mario Kart!

Please teach us, King Barry!

Some dude from MSNBC says Woodward is a hack.

Quoting U-boat Commander Teddy.

Indiana Stoned and the Temple of Entitlements

DU’s favorite Republican senator is no longer a fave.

Going postal

Welcome to 2003

Guard your privates

I’m with the band.

DUer’s don’t like John McCain…does anyone?

No sandwiches were made that day.

Hey, maybe they’ll get a participation medal like at soccer!

What if we just outlawed drunk driving…

Romney would have ended habeas corpus? Really?

Crazy train

GOP wants sequester so it can ruin Obama…as if he needed help.

Arm your children well.

If he doesn’t deserve to be Secdef, then how does he deserve to be a Senator?

Copping an attitude.

Hating Corolla

Mile High Gun Grabbers

Clearly more gun control would have stopped this.

Rush is virtually destitute…destitute I tell ya!!!

Blocking potential Democrat voters…I mean illegals…same thing.

Hiking the minimum wage will help the economy, says those who have fucking clue how the economy works.

Disposable workers

Chicken Little Syndrome

Recessions are a conspiracy to hold down wages?

Banging one out.

Supremely bad

Most donated their brains long ago.

Droning on and on.

Rock Lobster…you’ll understand when you read it.

St. Dorner

Manifesto Destiny

If it were a chocolate city, they’d care.

Pink in the stink.

Apparently DU thinks Lindsey Graham is pitching a hissy fit…gays are offended. Or maybe not.

License to kill.

ManBearPig!!

Socialize oil profits….for the chirrin’.

“…first, we kill all the lawyers.”

Was his name Snowball, because that would be pretty ironic.

Gun owners are heartless bastards. And gun nuts. And racists. And want kids to die. Did I mention racists?

News Flash! The world doesn’t revolve around you.

Munchkin Guild leader suggests Teleprompter in Chief shouldn’t mention deficit. No shit?

Ah…light bulb moment perhaps?

Bipartisanship at the point of a knife…in your back.

Wait, he really doesn’t mean it!

First Amendment is a real bitch, ain’t it.

GOP wants sequester so it can kill off the middle class…wait what?

Ron Paul, the anti-globalist, wants the UN to help him take over ronpaul.com. Mind = blown.

Prezbo needs another Peace Prize.

Oh, I get it…THIS president won’t misuse his power like others have. Right.

We The People Amendment…this is why we can’t have nice things.

Drone Chopper!!!

Benedict Dronold.

Tea Time

Worker directed labor…hmm.

So put on a happy face, comrade!

Is individualism too high a price to pay?