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Man Offers Burger for Sex-Gets Neither

by thebesig••33
Instead of getting some “loving”, Dominic Calderon will be getting some justice. (AVNphotolab)

Dominic Calderon thought that he had a good plan in mind. He stopped at Chili’s and purchased a hamburger “to go”. On his way to eat lunch, he came across someone he thought was a prostitute.

He headed straight towards her and received information on how much she was charging. When he told her that he was going to go home to get the money, she asked him what was in his bag. He told her that it was a hamburger.

Her response? She would take the hamburger instead of money. Calderon immediately agreed and was subsequently arrested. His hamburger was collected as evidence.

From WGN TV:

After officers ran Calderon’s information, they found he was a sex offender on probation. Police said Calderon’s status was confirmed by the probation office and his probation was revoked and upgraded to a felony warrant.

Calderon’s arrest is one of 11 different prostitution arrests all made on Jan. 28 along Central Avenue. The hamburger was tagged into evidence.

WGN and KRQE have the story on this individual.

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33 thoughts on “Man Offers Burger for Sex-Gets Neither”

  1. this almost reads like a reddit choosing beggars post.

    a burger for a prostitute? Must be really high class!

    2. Although I do browse Reddit, there is a difference between the theme in the above post and what the Reddit trend is. Much of the younger generation is more interested in Reddit than they are in websites like this one or Facebook. In fact, some have referenced the later two sites as “old people” sites.

      The younger veterans are turning toward Reddit and other similar sites. Ditto with the younger military. This is a part of the reason why websites like this, Facebook, and others, are facing a declining participation rate among the younger generations. If this trend continues, this and other communities disappear when we become too old to participate.

      Having participated on the site since 2012/2013, I saw the above topic as fitting the trends of some of the stories that have been posted here in the past.

    3. In keeping with the idiocy of his act, and since you were the originator of the multiplier and deserves the Hat Tip, the Whiz Wheel®™ spins up the following score:

      Dominic Antonio Calderon (MMWAR*) 30 x 10 = 300

      *Mildew Mates With A Rutabaga

        1. you know that the beef and pork patties are non-digestible and may still be in our intestines?

          😀

          1. That’s what I liked about the C’s. They were ultimately digestable. Didn’t have to take a dump for days.

  4. Wonder if the undercover cop’s name was Clara? Did she ask, “Where’s the beef?”

    Homeboy trying to trade a beef burger for a furburger?

    Dumbazz.

    1. That kinda sounds like what J. Wellington Wimpy (Popeyes friend) would always say:

      “Cook me up a hamburger. I’ll pay you Tuesday.”

      ((Smile))

      2. I thought he said “For a burger today, I will gladly pay you the second Tuesday of next week.”

        1. Wimpy’s actual saying was:

          “I’ll gladly pay you Tuesday for a hamburger today.”

          ((Smile))

          1. I can confirm this was the original Wimpy’s quote from Popeye.

            Dating myself, I know….

  10. Apparently ALBUQUERQUE, N.M. Police would prefer to deal with entrapping John’s than their soaring crime rate. They had the nation’s second highest violent crime rate and its highest property crime rate in 2018. According to an Associated Press story at the link below, “Mayor Tim Keller said curbing crime remains his administration’s top priority, and that the figures show it’s important for state officials to prioritize crime fighting in Albuquerque too.” No wonder he needs state help, his own local police force has it’s priorities mixed up.
    https://www.usnews.com/news/best-states/new-mexico/articles/2019-10-02/albuquerque-mayor-crime-figures-show-need-for-state-help

  11. I was thinking he probably offered her one of those “Impossible Burgers” some idiot decided to promote.

    It proved impossible for him to get laid for the burger…

  13. It’s New Mexico! At the very least he should have used a Blake’s Lotaburger instead of that nasty crap from Chili’s.

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