61 thoughts on “How to be a Better Phony SEAL

  1. The phrase “cry like a little girl shoved into a wood chipper” makes me a little concerned for Don and his choice of leisure time activities.

      1. Dude- are you TRYING to make yourself look like more of an asshole than you already did? How did that lawsuit go?

        1. For the record, that was not directed at Silentium- there was a comment from someone who was outed as a fake SEAL here a couple of years ago. I’m surprised it stayed up as long as it did

          1. I know, Al. I didn’t see the comment, and if I had said anything questionable, I’m sure some folks would have let me know well before I saw this.

            All good, bro.

  2. Gunner’s Mate. What in the blue-eyed freakin’ world is wrong with being a GM?

    Doesn’t this gasbag know the SEALs weren’t SEALs until AFTER HE WAS DISCHARGED????? They were UDT – frogmen.

    What a jackass.

    1. Seriously, I got halfway through that monologue by this shitstick and had to quit before I started banging my head on the desk.

      Geez, Louise, come up with a story that makes some sense, you senile old asshole!

      Well, I’m going to get some breakfast, and come back for more laughs.

      1. Then you missed the part about it taking a unanimous decision by SCOTUS to release his service record… now THAT’S classified.

  3. This guy rocketed to E-3 after only 6.5 years active service. A high speed, low drag rate grabber.

    1. And he will be rocketing to the position of President of the Board of Directors for All-Points Logistics.

  4. That is hilarious.

    Love that the Supreme Court has to issue a unanimous decree to see the Admiral’s records.

    1. Hilarious is right; I can’t stop laughing after watching that.

      This phony SEAL assclown’s bullshit is so far out there that I’m almost starting to wonder if Senior Chief Shipley is prankin’ us here this morning.

      And ya just gotta love the ‘Rear Admiral’s’ Enlisted Surface Warfare Insignia, Master Chief rank insignia, and O-6 rank insignia that are proudly displayed on that sporty tactical jacket.

      And that hat. Oh, the hat…

    2. I’m wondering why the kid filming this wasn’t laughing his balls off after the first answer of what SEAL stood for.

  5. Either this old bastard is senile or he inhaled too much cordite early in the morning when he was a GM.

    I thought “SEAL” stood for:

    Sex
    Entertainment
    Alcohol
    Love

    Guess I’m going to have to retype my resume.
    Damn it!

    1. I remember reading that SEAL stood for Sleep, Eat and Live it up somewhere in a book written by Richard Marcinco (CAPT, USN Ret).

  6. Just in case anyone is wondering, the video was made in 2003. Rear Admiral/Master Chief/Dipshit Robert Dunn died in 2007. He’s buried in the Saratoga National Cemetery. I don’t know what’s on his tombstone, but he didn’t fool everyone. His obituary made no mention of military service.

  7. My neighbors son was a Seal Admiral. He also thinks that Aliens tap on his bedroom window at night.

    😵😵😵

    1. Aliens? Which ones? The big, ugly giant drooling cockroaches? Or is it the blue-skinned BOMs? Or the 3-legged orange-juice -for-blood Duuudles?

      1. Maybe he DID get abducted by a UFO and got anal probed to the point where it gave him brain damage?

  8. Somehow I felt Don was not talking directly to me so I took a pass on the rest. I do hope it helps others in their quest to “be the best” fake SEAL they can though becuz without posers Don would have to find a hobby.
    Like goose hunting.

    1. I noticed that, but unless he was busted along the way, he never made 4. My CC in boot was a GMGC by name of Yarborough.

    2. LOL. God, I remember all of those correspondence courses. I did a crapload of them, then after a while, the Navy changed to NKO, and the correspondence courses died a slow death.

  9. This dude is a serious fucktard. Why can’t he be happy with his real Navy career. Oh yeah, he was a high speed Sailor rocking Seaman after 6.

    Couldn’t even score high enough to make GM3.

    I personally thought the GMs job was fun. You get to shoot all of the time.

    After 6, most people I knew were already PO2s. I made IT1 at six as an early promote.

  10. Go Shipley! Makes me glad I am not a phony SEAL.

    I do empathize with his outrage. I myself was in a unit so secret that even the phonies don’t talk about it. We reported directly to the Pres. To this day, I have an unrestricted White House pass (Donald says Hi, by the way). I will include a picture of it below—

    Oh, sorry. I forgot, you aren’t allowed to see it.

    1. Totally legit. You can tell because timactual mentions his secret squirrel White House work on the interwebs, but has the OPSEC not to post pics.
      Mark of a true professional.

      *snicker*

    1. For the pseudo-SEALS who have had trouble figuring it out–and who really, really want those DVDs–note that when the lovely lady tells you what phone number to call, she says ‘me’ with an extended ‘ee’sound.

      Thus, the phone number is: 1-800-BLOWMEE, which transposes to: 1-800-256-9633.

      Operators are standing by!

      And don’t forget: You will receive a $50 value for three easy payments of $29.95!

      Call now!

  11. Another cocksucker hits the dust
    Enjoy your well earned Google fame
    Crazy old bast&$

    Bhwhahahahaha !!!!!!!

  12. Hmmmm

    1) Enlist in the Navy.
    2) Complete BUDS.
    3) Serve on one or more Teams.
    4) Complete at least one tour.
    5) Book!

  13. I was an instructor at Damneck, as an OS2 (SW/AW/MTS). I don’t know what he was talking about regarding not brushing one’s teeth, or not gargling, but it went without saying that everybody did proper hygiene. This included oral hygiene. Some may have smelled like they didn’t do such, but it wasn’t because of any special “secret squirrel” training. 🙄

  14. Good God. I’m a civilian. The closest I can get to being a veteran is being the brother of a Marine and I could spin a better story than this ass clown. Mind blown yet again. Dutch Rudder candidate?

        1. Careful. Bernath may try to blame his death on TAH as another case of, “self-murder.”

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