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Darwin or Florida?

Alexandro Garibaldi

BNG and Bobo send us a link to the story of poor 23-year-old Joaquin Mendez who owned a bullet-proof vest. He wondered aloud if it worked, and his cousin, Alexandro Garibaldi, 24, being helpful, fired a round at it while Joaquin was wearing it. Mendez was DOT (dead over there) at the hospital.

Police say Alexandro Garibaldi…told police he heard a gunshot and found his cousin, Joaquin Mendez, 23, outside with a gunshot wound.

[…]

Garibaldi was charged with manslaughter and possession of a firearm by a felon.

Well, at least Joaquin knows the answer to his question before he really needs the vest.

48 thoughts on “Darwin or Florida?

  1. One less moron diluting the gene pool….now if they can sterilize the cousin it would be a two-fer.

      1. I don’t know which type of Spanish they speak in Joaquin’s old barrio, but here in Texas that would be “Ay, hombres – aqui es mi cerveza, ¡mira esto!”

  2. Alexandro is gonna have lots of cuddle time w/ Jorge, Julio, Nacho, and Ignacio. Doubt his cornholio is cockmeat proof, but I guess he’ll find out.

  3. Joaquin Mendez: Julio, do you thinks these five year old condoms are still good?

    Julio Garibaldi: Only one way to find out, cuz. Let’s good find an HIV positive transvestite prostitute.

  4. Within hours of this tragedy, a “retired” lawyer from Ft. Myers Florida has reached out to the family and volunteered to represent them in a lawsuit against Yelp. Somehow this has to be the fault of Yelp.

    1. If I were not a real deal disbarred lawyer, I would sue the biker vest company that sold him a vest that looked like a bullet proof vest. But, I am a real deal disbarred lawyer that’s not a Chief Petty Officer.

      1. Grounds for the lawsuit are that the equipment should be labeled “bullet resistant” instead of “bullet proof”.

  5. Joaquin: “Cuz, you SURE eben tho it be a vest, it gonna protect my head? You REALLY sure???

    Julio: Yea, Cuz, I know what I say be good. Watch this .45 cal. round go in one ear and come out the other”. Ten seconds later, “Joaquin, Joaquin…..can you hear me?”

    1. Graybeard…Man you just made my day with that news report. Makes my heart kind of light. I’d a paid a lot to see that live.

      1. Me too, Sparks. Me too.

        I guess when the film crew got their open-door to Hell the camera got toasted, too.

        I always love it when the towel-heads film their own demise.

  6. I thought that I recall a guy wearing a bullet proof vest being stabbed, so I did a bit of research and found these interesting links. This seems to occur quite often among certain demographic groups, I.e. idiots.

    http://www.bing.com/videos/search?q=man+stabbed+while+testing+bullet+proof+vest&view=detail&mid=BEE690D1E9767E3C6B61BEE690D1E9767E3C6B61&FORM=VIRE

    This guy was considerate enough to videotape it for us.

    http://www.bing.com/videos/search?q=man+stabbed+while+testing+bullet+proof+vest&view=detail&mid=BEE690D1E9767E3C6B61BEE690D1E9767E3C6B61&FORM=VIRE

    1. Now that…was funny. He tells him three times to aim low and what does the imbecile do, hits him above the vest.

  7. Weapon in condition 1…Check
    Vest secured…Check
    Round down range…Check
    Results…Catastrophic failure-brain housing group.
    Gene pool clean…Check

    His dipshit friend probably shot him in the melon.

  8. Saw a video of some white kid who tried taking a 9mm to the vest… didn’t make much of a hole in his chest but did make a hole nonetheless. He was still smoking and talking when the video ended.

  9. Evolution is supposed to make organisms better able to survive their environments. It seems that we have moved into a period of devolution, at least for some subsets of the species. It is unfortunate that it will take a very long time for the human skull to evolve, or in this case devolve, into a thickness that will be completely impervious to pistol bullets. For that to happen at least a few will need to survive the injury in order to reproduce that bullet resistance in future generations of very stupid people. Bullet resistance is binary, either you are resistant or you are not. If you are not, and most aren’t, you will die, thereby ending any chance of reproducing beyond what you have already spawned. But thanks for playing Natural Selection.

  10. Apart from the overall stupidity of the whole situation, I seem to remember that the manufacturer generally only guarantees them to stop a bullet (of appropriate caliber for the rating) ONCE. So testing it is…maybe really fucking retarded.

    1. If you look in the left pocket of that not so bullet proof vest, there is a piece of paper reading “Inspected by D. Bernath”.

  11. Didn’t he read the warning label on the vest? You know, the one about not being a moron?

    Want to get rid of even more dufi? Remove all warning labels and let nature take its course.

  12. When I was in the 101st two infantry guys from the 327th infantry regiment did the same thing. One of them went to the other side of the hall way in the barracks and shot the other soldier. No one died. They both got in a lot of trouble.

  13. Read an update that it was a flak vest not a bullet proof vest.

    Those can be snagged at any surplus store.

    Reckon that label inside that was written in ENGLISH didn’t quite compute…

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