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Craig’s List personal ad; guess who?

by Jonn Lilyea••102

So someone sent us this ad from Craig’s List – I’m seriously not stalking this guy but he has a fan club. Can you guess who it is?

Craigs list ad

I’m not going to mention his name because I’m ashamed that we’re responsible for him having no steady trim. You, know, even though he had a handful of ex-wives before we ever heard of him. It must be our fault. I see he finally got the spelling of MENSA right. But how many lies can you find in the ad? Winner gets a hardy handshake and a hot cup of soup.

By the way, I have hair on my head by choice.

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Millard Time (Continued)

BWAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!! Suxorz!!!!

Chief Petty Officer Aubrey Barbour; valor thief, kid diddler

102 thoughts on “Craig’s List personal ad; guess who?”

      1. This fuckin’ guy again? His whole add is hysterical, especially the part that reads “I try to avoid drama but sometimes it just finds me. You just can’t get through life to my age without having a little history”. No shit… there it is, written in black and white. That’s probably the most honest thing in the add.

  4. I don’t wanna guess. This bitch is nothing more than a complete douche bag filled with vaginal sand. He’s been caught at bullshitting and thinks he’s the greatest penis on earth. I’d rather know that his nether regions will be appropriately excised in a surgically painful manner using rusty bowie knives than have to deal with shitbirds like this.

  5. The high sex drive thing coupled with his living situation (29 dollar a night motel … hourly rates available) kinda sucks the air out of his intended purpose here!

    Just sayin!

  7. Wow no mention of his stellar, high flying Air Force days! Must be slipping on his MENSA medicine.

      1. You mean his “Piled Higher and Deeper” that’s not good for much more than a substitute for toilet paper?

  9. Also, I’m just wondering how “elite” some of those claims he makes are. I’ve got a PADI Rescue Diver certification, and I remember what I had to do to get it.

    Yeah, not so impressed.

    1. That’s because he “quieted down”, giving us less to work with. But, now that he’s up to his games, and we’re seeing them, we’re getting loud again. :mrgreen:

      1. You are correct Master Chief
        How about this one?

        “A man’s gotta Brie what a man’s gotta brie”

  12. At least he has stopped claiming that USAF thing. Of course, he’s still impersonating a SWAT officer. Athletic body?

    He’s pretty hilarious. Still. Gotta love his description of us, though. Yeah, count me among the “unemployed.” It’s not all that unusual for folks who are retired.

    Also, he can only dream about having a real career that were half as interesting as those of most of the posters and commenters here at TAH.

    Go MESNA!

    1. Well, if by ‘athletic’ he means “Able to eat massive quantities of cheese in one sitting” sure, he’s athletic.

    2. Unemployed, poor, unejumicated, criminal and non-productive member of society!

      BUSTED … He got me!

      NOT!

      Fully employed since age 6, rich beyond belief, highly educated and certified, never had a negative encounter with LE and highly respected in all areas of my profession and community!

      So, KMRIA!

  13. All the current MENSA members refer to the former MENSA member as a “retard!”

    Hehehehe!

    Editorial Note: My IQ at 21 was 112. For 1000 dollars, how did the MIL determine IQ using ASVAB scores? It was very accurate!

    3. MENSA 133 iq, I think he added a 100 to his score.

      70 – 84, Below average. 85 – 114, Average (68% of test takers). 115 – 129, Above average. 130 – 144, Gifted (2.3% of test takers). 145 – 159, Genius (Less than …
      Also depends on who’s test your taking….

  14. Has anyone seen this Las Vegas, NV Craigslist ad? Legit?

    http://lasvegas.craigslist.org/res/4802834942.html

    Security Professional (Vegas-Worldwide)

    I am a US Navy veteran and long time licensed security consulting contractor out of the European Union. Currently I am looking for a position in private close protection, estate security and administration, project/operations//risk management within the private, commercial, industrial and government sectors. .

    Mark Graham

    I am looking for permanent security position

    Profile
    Have squired numerous years of increasingly responsible general and specialized operations experience
    in the protective and defence technology disciplines within European private, commercial and government
    sectors. Spans the spectrum of operations including protective details, planning, administration, sales,
    training, project and risk management.

    Military
    Former combat swimmer (US Navy Seal), parachutist, SDV covert actions, unconventional warfare,
    counter-terrorism, counterinsurgency, all within the conduct of Naval Special Warfare.

    Experience

    Private Patrolman-Close Protection, Department of Licensing, Hamburg current- 1993
    Acquired professional affiliations and partnerships
    Grass roots upward advancement to preferred contractor & independent sales consultant
    Affiliates
    Napier Global LTD., New York, NY
    Personal Bodyguard ., Director of Security and Chief Estate Administrator

    Maritime Security Group International, Panama-Long Beach

    Hand picked for European, Latin and South American EOD projects and Protective Details
    Selected as European asset providing Executive Protection, Risk and Project & Sales Management
    Vessel and facility security officer auditing and improving security systems.

    Stirling Services Hereford, United Kingdom
    Vetted with the SAS-UK for P.S.D. in hostile environments resulting in training and special projects

    DNL Group, Bonn Germany
    Picked P.S.D. for Balkan (Kosovo, Croatia) European & Middle Eastern personnel.
    Plans and Manage Executive Protection- Private Investigations, Guard Force and Canine Operations.
    Executive Protection Russian and Turkish Consulates Hamburg
    Maritime security consultant with CanDo Trading GmbH, Hamburg- Philippines
    Canine IED/Bomb control with Deutsche Bundesbahn (DB) Federal German Bank
    Asset transport for high end retail, industrial and commercial ( Deuutsche Bundesbank)
    Regional loss prevention manager incorporating biometric entry and cctv systems.
    Education
    BA in International Affairs, ’87 | Southern Oregon State University | Ashland, Oregon
    BA Social Science-Behavioral Studies ’87 | Southern Oregon State University
    Diplom Sozialwissenschaft (Diloma Social Science) Ghk Univesity of Kassel, Germany
    Licenses
    Armed Private Patrolman, Investigator-Canine Handler | Germany/EU-Switzerland
    Certifications
    P.S.D. | Personal Security Detail Hostile Environments | Stirling SAS, United Kingdom
    VSO — FSO | Vessel & Facility Security Officer , Maritime Security Group International
    Armed Guard | Nevada PILB., | Life Saving, Disaster First Aid, CPR, AED | Red Cross CH |
    Other
    Senatorial nomination to Air Force Academy out of high school. Colgate 2 time All American
    linebacker at University of Nevada Reno. NFL scouted. Head football coach for a German semi-
    professional club. Have CCW’s in Switzerland, Germany, Florida, Utah, Nevada. Bilingual German-
    Englisch. Spoken E. Arabic, Romanian, Spanish. Have passports and drivers licenses. Swiss resident
    Health
    Excellent 6’4″ 218 lbs

        1. Ooh, I CAN’T WAIT to see the video of Don Shipley (SCPO, USN, Ret.) chewing him up and spitting him out, this oughtta be good!!

    2. For heavens’ sakes, are these morons ever going to learn that the letters in “SEAL” are capitalized?

      Not even a good try.

      2. He probably means “seal” the animal, rather than SEAL the kickass. He does kind of look like a flabby marine mammal. Throw him a fish!

    3. Someone with (authentic) credentials like this would NOT be trolling for a job on Craigslist.

      1. NO SHIT, real Operators with Resumes like that have NO problem networking and finding real jobs with great paychecks! I’m betting he’s about as real as ‘ol “Blobfish”!

    5. Man, the high speed low drag on this guy would put an SR-71 to shame. But wait, is Craig’s List an appropriate venue to perform high level security business?

      Nyet, comrade.

    6. Guys! Gosh darnit!!! The ONLY way to know if he is legit, is to see his laminated SEAL ID card!!! EVERYTHING else is just a WASTE of TIME!!! Come on! Get with the program!!!!

        1. NO, not just that, more like a Sooperdooper wonder-wompus SEAL Scout Sniper Recon Green Beret SAS Gurkha Ranger!!

  15. Average body type??? I guess if you are a hippo. Sounds like his fiance caught wind of his previous cheesy antics and bailed on him. Good for her!

  16. Only a 133 IQ? What a piker. I’m guessing that half of the regular posters here are above a 133. I’m also wondering what job he has or ever had that might cause PTSD. Maybe flashbacks from taking a massive crap after eating that wheel of cheese?

    1. The pain from the constipation caused him such mental anguish.

      The horror… the horror.

      1. And that is why we are on here, we are ALL above average !!!
        Hell, even the average hanger’s on around here are above average !!!
        We found this out because we we averaged the average of the average and above average people and averaged them in with the mean average around the average average which included the above average too !!!
        Got it ???

  17. UGH, Went to the DFW craigslist site (now I have to clear my cache) for Men seeking Women. Did a search using the “PTSD” used in the posting. It came up, and so did 7 others. Wow, his post is pretty sad, craigslist?? no really craigslist???

  18. Former MENSA. I wonder what caused that to happen. With an IQ he just cleared the fence with a 133. The minimum is 132 on a certain test. Maybe it was the grammar section.

  19. BAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH…..fuck you denny you aids humping chimp boy.

  20. The Blobfish is scavenging once again!! I hope he and my ex-Wife hook up with each other!!!

    1. My ex and I don’t exactly get along, and she may have slept around while we were married, but I would never wish Denny H. Chevalier on her. Ok, maybe I would.

      1. My ex was a cheating, gold-digging ID-card seeking Dependopottamus of a “Proffessional Spouse” as well as a pill-popping con artist. I wish those two on each other like you wouldn’t believe!

  21. I was thinking this was about that yorktown person on that Oregon message board wanting to meet up with some escort type and “add a third”.

  22. OMFG!!!!!! MENSA would laugh him out of the room with a 133 IQ! LOL! Douchetard! Funniest thing I’ve read all day!

  23. “Lost 2 girlfriends…”

    Hmm, it couldn’t possibly be due to the fact that he’s a fat, lying, creepy-as-shit rat-bastard, could it?

    2. Does this mean that his latest fiancee got out while the getting was good? I hope so, for her sake.

  24. Yeah, it started off okay but man, he went off the rails about halfway through. I don’t think that this will work for him….

  25. Damn Chevy…I told you to ramp up before the Tournament, but, per usual, you are week’s late,

    1. He may have been too busy working on the new ultra top sekrit squirrel C-130-SR-71-Saturn V combination to perform compass call missions over the Sea of Tranquility.

  26. 30+ comments and no one has named him yet. You guys must have heard what I did, that Jonn is planning on mailing the winner the soup–in a #10 business envelope.

  27. Hey! That’s damn close. We need an official ruling on this. Does SJ get the soupy envelope for saying “Chevy?”

      1. It will be more like marmalade in your mailbox if you are declared the winner. Oh, and that handshake? I don’t even want to go there.

  28. I edited his ad and removed everything that isn’t true. This is all that was left.

    “I like romantic comedies.”

  29. I can’t stop laughing. this is one of the best days in TAH history, what with the asshattery and fucktardery of the dutch rudder club. Psul’s random brain ramblings, caused by his holiday “aqua velva and egg nogg” bender and this jewel from Mr. Cheese? Now, if we could only get a recorded phone call from Birdbrain outlining his next brilliant legal maneuver. That would be cherry and whipped topping on this retard sundae for sure. Too much, too much.

  39. I guess he does do security for malls or topgolf anymore huh.

    I should go mock ole blobfish. I take it his ex fiance saw the pages and he snapped on her.

  40. damn internet terrorists. can’t you see he is an honest red blooded american that has survived hardships that none of us will understand?……oh wait….nevermind. he’s just a douche nozzle….carry on internet terrorists. 🙂

  41. “…I have had an unusual life…”

    He spelled “I’m a lying sack of shit” wrong.

  43. Regarding that IQ thing.

    At IQ 71, one develops the skill to type “MENSA” instead of “MESNA”.

    At IQ 83, one learns how to spell SWEDEN. Ditto for “Perjury”.

    At IQ 92, one knows the difference between “retrofitting” and “reverse engineering”.

    Chevy, on the other hand, is a fucking idiot.

    For those of you that missed the epic breakup, look at the facebook comments here (you might have to click on “view more”: https://www.azuse.cloud/?p=56903 I always knew that Andra wasn’t Chinese enough for our fat cheese eating Blobfish.

    Being that I feel sorry for the obese horny miscreant, I am going to drop off a happy sock and a jug of 80W90 (no benzene additives) at Chevalier and Associates HQ.

    Check out his “I love me” page on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/dennis.chevalier.7

    He was mistaken for a Marine.
    He was mistaken for a SEAL.
    He has a link to TAH, offering his free services. “most of us good guys investigators never charge to do those kinds of searches be wary of those who actually charge you money”
    He knew Chris Kyle.
    His brother Rob is a US Army Sergeant Major.
    May 2, 2013 “Orders are in hand, ammo ready, backup weapons stored and safe, gear packed and ready for the trip AND in case we get deployed while down range…”
    The SF world according to Chevy: “I know every Armed branch of the service has a SF section, like the Army has The Green Berets and Rangers, the USMC has Force recon (just one of many), the USAF has PJ’s, the Navy has SEALs, and SWIFT teams and so one but I have had the honor of meeting 3 SEALs and working with (via long distance) 7 SEALs and their attitude is something just is just different than any other SF people that I have met.”

    There’s more. A lot more.

  45. “I am 53 yrs. old 6’2″ 245lbs bald by choice…”

    As soon as I saw that, I thought, Dennis Howard Chevalier also known as Denny Howard Chevalier.

    This man is becoming more unstable. Since he’s pulling that “PTSD” claim, guess what? He’s in the running for consideration for this year’s Blue Falcon Stolen Valor tournament.

    I wish I knew which area that post showed up in. 😈

    We need to send out information about this guy in as many of his internet playgrounds as possible… we could end up saving a woman’s life.

    I’m hoping that the last girlfriend that he lost “because of us” posts on that “bad boy report”. We have to give that report a lot of exposure.

    Again… we should do our part to spare a future woman from the hospital emergency room, or from the graveyard… due to Dennis (Denny) Howard Chevalier’s steady melt down. 😈

    2. “Bald by choice…”

      That’s all he needs to say to make it clear that it’s not by choice. Guys that choose to be bald don’t lead in with that.

  46. Here’s the last few paragraphs of the ad (my emphasis added):

    If you can get through that then I know you will find that I am very kind and gentle. I work very hard for my money and I earn it honestly.
    I make a great friend and I am also handy with repair jobs. I am also a great protector and good provider.

    Here is what I am looking for:
    A woman that has strength of character; An extremely affectionate and romantic lady that enjoys traveling/visiting places and can wear a formal dress as well as a T-shirt and cut-offs without thinking one degrades the other.

    A lady that can support herself but also doesn’t mind my gifts/help because she understands that together we are a team and have each-others back.

    I am looking for my soulmate, friend, lover, buddy and partner for life.

    Are you her?

    Please put in the subject line “I AM HER” and tell me about you and include photos. Please no boob or cat shots…I get way too many of those.,/b>

    http://dallas.craigslist.org/mdf/m4w/4831391672.html

  47. Hmmm. Ya got wonder how many LEO’s have a plan for a face-to face with him. Kinda makes one want to set up a little something something with him, but let him know ahead of time that you really REALLY get turned on by a badge. Oh, the possibilities.

    1. I have a good feeling that after the threat he texted to his last girl friend,

      Andra Lorenz
      sending me a text message stating that he was going to put a bullet in my head, is very concerning….

      they will definitely want a face-to-face with the “blobfish”

    2. Originally posted by OWB:

      Ya got wonder how many LEO’s have a plan for a face-to face with him.

      Dennis Howard Chevalier (Denny), has put both Andra Lorenz and Dora Lee in a state of fear in the past few hours. The guy is unhinged. The cops can’t get to this guy soon enough. 😯

      1. This one has been working himself toward one of those suicide by cop things for a while. He doesn’t have the moral fiber, intelligence, or anything else to figure out how to avoid it, so he just keeps charging in that direction.

  48. You will all be happy to know that I “did my thing” being the so called “bitch, among other things” and “they” are taking it to the next level. Thanks for your help! He is still posting on Craigslist about me….can anyone offer suggestions of how to make him stop until “they” do? I am sure those of you familiar with my story know who “they” are. I just cannot post publicly about it, and yes, he is blocked by me from this site.

    2. Doubt that there is anything you or any of us can “make” him do simply by demanding it. His pettiness is what seems to drive him in all things. Until his toys are forcibly taken away from him, his lies will likely continue.

      His bloated opinion of himself feeds his delusions. So, just hang in there. Surely anyone whose opinion of you really matters already knows the truth about you. Some strangers might think otherwise based upon something posted by another stranger? Not worth worrying one moment about that.

      1. I’m not a lawyer but the nasty stuff he wrote about her sure seems like libel and slander to me. I note that the FB page “BOLO” is gone as of a day or so ago. Haven’t looked for the Craig’s List trash recently.

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