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Ariel Castro completes life sentence in record time

by Jonn Lilyea••33

I know we didn’t follow the story on the blog, but we did watch it on the news, when Ariel Castro was convicted of kidnapping and rape in Ohio and sentenced to life in prison. Well, he finished his sentence in record time according to a Columbus Dispatch article sent to us by Preston;

Spokeswoman JoEllen Smith said the 53-year-old Castro was found hanging in his cell around 9:20 p.m. at the Correctional Reception Center in Orient.

Prison medical staff performed CPR before Castro was transported to the Wexner Medical Center at Ohio State University, where he was pronounced dead at 10:52 p.m.

Castro had been transferred to the Orient facility in early August from the Lorain Correctional Institution.

He was housed in protective custody at Orient, which means he was in a cell by himself and was checked on every 30 minutes at staggered intervals, Smith said.

“A thorough review of this incident is underway,” Smith said in a statement last night.

Yeah, I think they should thoroughly investigate the case, too, then they can figure out how to help others of equal depravity hurry along their life sentences.

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33 thoughts on “Ariel Castro completes life sentence in record time”

  1. Hey, this depraved loon just saved the taxpayers of Ohio a few million bucks; if I was an Ohioan, I certainly wouldn’t complain…

  2. I always get a kick out of these suicide in jail/prison stories. The routine of checking every 20-30 minutes on someone is what I laugh about. Given such a timed routine, when, if I may ask, would one off himself if he were intent on doing so? Go ahead. Say it. You’re right.

  5. Maybe reality finally hit him like a thrown brick.

    I will not say good riddance to bad rubbish, but….

  8. Can someone pass me a tissue?

    Snot came shooting out of my nose … I am so happy!

    Lucifer … Your turn!

  9. I want to know how they’re going to get the “+1000 years” part of the sentence out of him. I don’t want him getting off easy.

    1. Don H: he serves that part in the afterlife. One pineapple daily.

      Except, when he’s finished that time – he doesn’t go anywhere.

  10. Now he’s in that ‘special place’ you guys talk about all the time.

    He will be joined one day by whatshisface who just lost his ‘special’ status and beard at the same time. The two of them belong together.

  13. @9 I figured they could plow him into some forestry land they are replanting, worms have to eat too.

  15. @1, Amen to that, CH, he’s in hell now, and that’s where he belongs! Once again, there’s one less loser POS that taxpayers will have to feed, clothe, and house!!

  18. We were discussing this delightful incident at work today and the general consensus is that the guards probably did not work real hard to revive this shit maggot. At least that is what we all want to believe. Anyway, rot in hell you sorry fuck. Unloved, unmissed, despised. That sounds about right.

  19. The only bad feeling I can muster on this one is for the guards and other staff at the prison who will now face the inevitable difficulties for “allowing” this to happen. Otherwise? Not much empathy, sympathy, or anything else for this criminal.

  22. @18, ROFL!!

    @19, I’m sure they tried to make it look like they actually wanted to revive that pathetic maggot.

    @19, OWB, I wholeheartedly concur!!

  23. Did he leave step by step instructions for Major Fuck Up. One less at Big Rock Little Rock training facility would be a nice way to end the week.

  24. Wait just a damn minute, He has only served part of his sentence. He was given Life plus 1000 years. So he owes us those 1000 years. After all, fair is fair.

  27. (From a different blog and a different link)
    And now Castro can a argue his special case before G-d Himself as to whether he’s just “sick” or a “perverted monster”.
    Either way, I predict G-d’s final sentencing will be Eternity In Hell.

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