Someone sent us their work on this fellow, Randy Duck, who wore this uniform with rank of a Senior Chief Gunners Mate and a whole slew of medals to a church “veterans’ appreciation day” event. Among the awards he’s wearing are the Enlisted Surface Warfare Specialist badge, the First Class Diver badge and a Navy Achievement Medal with ‘V’ device for valor.
According to the Navy, he left after four honorable years of service as an E-3 Gunners Mate. His only award was the Sea Service Ribbon;
He didn’t earn that National Defense Service Medal he’s wearing either.
Comments
133 responses to “Randy Duck; phony Senior Chief Gunners Mate”
Is it true a Gunners Mate can draw his guns before a Boatswains Mate can blow All Hands.
https://youtu.be/TI30rjFnAds
Is it true, this clown really is a “Randy” Duck?
Cocksucker
BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!
Shack.
::shakes head in disbelief::
Finally! I have a gedunk medal and he doesn’t!!! Hah! I win!!
And not only that, he’s impersonating a senior CPO. I’m awaiting the feedback from our local Master Chief.
He wasn’t selected… wasn’t initiated. Just like another Phony CPO that has spent some time in jail recently…
ASS HAMSTER
Just imagine the wetting down party. An entire fire brigade would be required.
This. Fucking. Assmuncher.
I vote that we put this bilge rat into the mess for 20 minutes and batten all the hatches while he is ‘counseled.’
20 minutes will only get you through the first layer of fat. Time to get the slugs to make some coffee, this will take awhile.
Just bring him in through the scullery and take care of it there. Fukker doesn’t deserved to actually step into a proper goat locker.
He’s not worthy of our time, brothers — I would just ignore it when we hear the inevitable “knock” 3 times.
“Hey hey hey…. it’s faaaaaaattt Albert!”
Dude has the biggest moobs I’ve ever seen in his Facebook photos.
He’s hawking some sort of health promoting detoxificating tea from his FB page.
Doesn’t appear to be a user of said product or it is considerably less effective than placebo
You have to be careful with those placebos. That was what caused the downfall of Elaine Ricci and caused he to go on extended leave for placebo addiction.
Nah man, don’t get where you are coming from.
I see that pic and instantly think ‘Obviously a legit 1c Diver!’ 😉
LOL
You have to sink to be a diver. That much fat and shit floats.
I see that pic and it reminds me of those stupid water wings the air force mandated on their water jumps…which I never wore.
If you need water wings, don’t jump into the water. 🙂
I’m guessing he needs to put about 50 lbs. on his weight belt and totally deflate his BCD just to submerge.
I’m guessing he’s just not really a diver.
His FB page has dive pics…none of him pre/peri/post dive.
only service pic is a bootcamp pic
Aaaand… poof. Like that, the Facebook page is gone.
I still can see it.
If Obama had a son….
That had elephantiasis
Now that made me laugh out loud frightening my employees apparently.
He’s never heard of that successful method, the Pushing Exercise – away from the plate and the table.
There’s also the Avoidance Method: avoid stuffing yourself at meals.
Don’t be so hard on this lard ass. He probably has a serious Gland problem, like ever time his elbow bends his fu##ing mouth opens.
There is no jogging bra big enough.
Duck?
Looks more like a fucking pork chop to me…
He makes Pvt Pyle look like Karen Carpenter.
*pauses for a second to get it* ..
Man, that’s Savage as Fuck
*golf clap*
Thank you, thankyouverymuch
I too had to think about it, then I remembered that Karen Carpenter is the patron saint of the obese.
No, of Ethiopians…
(Pulls out black ACE pocket comb)
Know what this is?
Hack got in trouble at work one particular time because he said that he was hungrier than an Ethiopian at a Karen Carpenter concert.
So, what’s the skinny on that reference?
We’ve all seen plenty of overweight Sailors in The Fleet. But they always have ‘working muscle’, for lack of a better term.
But how in the fvck does someone manage to let their body deteriorate to that degree short of some serious medical issue(s)?
What did he do? Eat 6 full meals a day for years and work at zero physical activity?
The mind boggles.
Astronomers keep him under close observation, anticipating the inevitable gravitational collapse that is the fate of all super-large stellar masses.
I’m a hefty guy, but this bozo makes me look svelte.
He’s SO FAT his farts are measured on the Richter Scale.
He’s so fat, when he walks across the room, the RADIO skips.
Who made that jacket for him, the Eureka Tent Company?
“Eureka” is what he yells any time a Golden Corral shows up on Google Maps.
8-person family trip tent model!
I’m guessing his NEC was “Wide Load Cargomaster” . . . .
He looks like he has NEVER met a jelly doughnut he didn’t like. Now that he has some Google fame coming his way he ought to chin up, and I mean ALL THREE of them!
Correction: never met a plate of food he didn’t like.
Correction: never met a plate of food he didn’t eat.
Correction: never met a Golden Corral buffet he didn’t bankrupt.
Indeed…
Although now I’m all nostalgic for John Panetta at the Chinese buffet…
YOU BEEN HERE FOUR HOUR!!!
See below. The entire routine for the Chinese buffet is there.
He wasn’t on the Weight Control Program, he was on the Weight Out Of Control Program.
Don’t think he’s welcome at any ‘all you can eat’ buffets, either.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=51rHWly7sHA
Cuntfart
That dude can block out the sun. YOU tell him he’s out of uniform.
He’s so fat he can sit around a table all by himself.
He is so fat, he qualifies as a duty station.
*Giggling* “NICE!!!”
He’s so fat, when he walks in all the kids tell….
KOOL-AID!!!!
Block out the sun = Rectal Eclipse
Is that like a Rectal Prolapse?
Anyone know his personal zip code?
The dude -has- his own zip code!
(Cue up Weird Al’s “Fat”)
Speaking of randy ducks:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L9QTAzSVM4Y
YES! My first thought too!
If it walks like a duck and it talks like a duck, it’s an enormous waddling asshole.
I guess his favorite morning breakfast meal is milk and Quackers.
Queef.
If this dude actually floats (like a duck), he would present a hazard to navigation…
If he sinks, he’s also a hazard to navigation
He could wear a couple of PT belts while floating and rent himself out as a buoy!
“‘E’s a witch! BURN him!!!”
If it looks like a duck and quacks like a duck, then….it must be a lying sack of shit phony.
What? No SEAL claims!! This fat fuck isn’t even trying. No poser vest, sunglasses, dog, Harley and not a doo rag in site? He is so fat, they had to tie a pork chop around his neck to get the dog to play with him??
Cocksucker!!
Enough already! His size is life-threatening… to the furniture.
Hey, if I can lose weight and 8 inches off my waist, he can lose 8 times what I’ve done. And no, I don’t want any of it back.
He never met a meal that he didn’t like.
3pts for not claiming SEAL, Ranger, Delta, Green Beanie, etc……
But dear God….dem tiddies doe.
Claiming to be a 1st Class Deep Sea Diver, serving in Afghanistan, Iraq,SWA, otherwise deployed in the GWOT, Combat Valor, Good Conduct, ESWS and even his Marksmanship Quals all involve things he never experienced.
That little gold oval is also a Command pin, so he’s not only claiming to have made Senior Chief, but to have served as a Command Senior Chief, which is also similarly insulting since that is something many actual Senior Chief’s don’t get to do.
This guy didn’t claim he was a SOF operator, but IMO is is no less despicable.
Fatty McTool.
4 years and just one ribbon. Poor guy. :p
Four years and he didn’t even get a Good Cookie?
He ate it.
Wha-da-fuck, ‘ol Duck must have mistaken it for a cherry tart.
It used to be like that but I was thinking the same thing. Graduate boot camp today and you start off with the GWOTSM, and NDSM and if you are in the Army add the ASR.
Even when I was a Marine Officer I was always somewhat in awe of Senior and Master Chiefs when we were deployed ….I had no idea it was as easy as buying an XXXL uniform jacket!!
GMSC Klump reporting for duty!
Seriously, where in the hell did he get that costume…Thornton Mellon’s Tall & Fat? I guess they’re making dress blues for the Hindenburg Collection.
Added bonus: He’d rather kneel with Kap than stand with the President. I bet he still wonders why he never made 3rd class.
That’s bullshit. This fucker couldn’t kneel if his ass were on fire.
Wrong!
The “Combination Walker and Fold Down Seat (hand brake enabled) Fat Bastard Transportation System (CWFDSFBTS)” does have an optional fold out kneeling mechanism.
I heard he still has scars from his las trip to the beach. The last time he went there some Greenpeace hippies dragged him so far out in the water he got harpooned by some Japanese Tourists!
BOOM!!!…………… Shack!
NDSM valor thieves are the worse. All the other stuff is just gravy. And this guy can’t say no to the gravy. Or donuts, pie, and cake.
Don’t you all remember that back in 1989, anyone who received an honorable discharge were automatically rewarded with a five-grade discharge prormotion; so this nice man is LEGIT !!!
A 4 year GMSN.
Yeah sure. That’s about the same thing as a Senior Chief Petty Officer.
Ironic that he would try to pull off wearing a fruit salad when salads in general are anathema to him.
Duck you suck !!!!!!!
Why do all the comments remind me of this classic cartoon? (Smile):
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9-k5J4RxQdE
Words Matter!
Word # 1: MAN
Word # 2: BRA
That is all I got!
If he wore a yellow slicker in the rain he might be mistaken for a taxi.
But he has a GREAT personality.
Or he could wear one and run around screaming, “I AM THE SUN!!!”
I was looking at his posts on the USS Edmonton FB page. He stays pretty tight lipped over there. Didn’t see a single comment from him about any specifics regarding his rank, time served, where, etc. except for reporting to the Edmonton as a non-rate fresh outta A School and generally ambiguous “old salt” swagger. Turd
Can’t be a non-rate fresh outta A school. That’s where you get a rate. He is a dumbass.
Change my rate to Gunner’s Mate, do da, do da. All I can say after the last couple of weeks is I can’t believe he isn’t claiming to be a SEAL.
He’s also wearing a Command Senior Chief pin, and so is claiming to be the Senior Enlisted Advisor (like the Command Master Chief or Chief of the Boat) somewhere. Quite a jump from GMSN!
yep…I brought that up earlier. This guy really pisses me off.
I saw your post and said to myself, “oops!” But I’ll also note that if he had truly been selected for the Senior Enlisted Leader program, his rate would be CMDCS, not GMCS, and he’d have a different patch (a star instead of the GM rating symbol). Once you’re a command Enlisted leader of some kind, /that/ is your new specialty. But that’s a nuance that I’m not sure a typical Sailor would pick up on his or her first (and only) tour.
True, but that particular designation (CMDCS or CMDCM)) didn’t exist during his time in…though neither did most of his service medals and …. jeebus …there goes my B/P again.
Ah! I stand corrected, thank you! The earliest I can go by for the pins (via an extremely cursory and lazy check) is NAVADMIN 274/06 (2006), which is the manner of wear for those pins, and OPNAVINST 1306.2D (2000), which fleshed out the Command Senior Enlisted Advisor program. It wasn’t until 2015 that CMDCS became an actual rating (that replaced one’s source rating), per NAVADMIN 177/15. I wonder if this person is claiming to retired from the Navy, or to have been Enlisted beyond 1989? He’d have to have been in for 21 years to make it to the point where the pin would have been available (and he was only in for 4).
Here, have some scotch (or the adult beverage of your choice) to help that blood pressure — woooo-sah!
Bumped up your blood pressure?
Why don’t you guys point and giggle like I do?? I don’t get it. This guy has four years of service including “A” School but somehow couldn’t get past E-3. Obviously, he has Feelings of Extreme Inadequacy, a/k/a the “can’t measure up” syndrome and he’s play-acting to make his fantasies come true.
Go to a sci-fi or fantasy fictio convention some time, or a Renaissance Festival – something like that. You will see enough Lord Neverweres and Lady NIMBYs to fill a full sequel to the Summer Game of Thrones (which is now ending, because Winter approaches).
What this guy doesn’t realize that at a Ren Faire, he could tell everyone he’s Othello looking for his Desdemona, or even the black court jester version of Sir John Falstaff, an extremely fat, lying, thieving, cowardly, drunken, and utterly shameless rogue with a talent for telling tales and rationalizing his actions.
True Facts about the Duck. Not for the faint of heart- you have been warned.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6k01DIVDJlY
Can you imagine this guy on a boat? Talk about a one-man trim party!
Of course, about the only way he’d ever get on a submarine is if you greased his hips and threw in a candy bar.
Diabetes is no joke, Randy.
I imagine it’s going to be hard to “DUCK” this one Duck.
Reminds me of the term “Fuck a duck” but THIS DUCK gave himself a big fuck!
I’m sure everyone took a first glance and said “WHAT THE FUCK, DUCK?”.
How does someone that fat even wipe their ass after taking a no doubt about it megadump, I’m sure he can’t reach that butthole to properly clean up, the guy must stink like a sewer or septic tank. dudes gross
That is why the Navy has Deck Apes, to remove those barnacles.
and why Navy Proctologists have to learn line-pull signals.
It continues to amaze why anyone would do this.
Surely they realize they will be found out as those who did serve in the units they claim will challenge them.
I have had friends who have challenged them and even when they were found to be stolen valor, they just kept on claiming.
I guess the only way to describe stolen valor is to say no honor, no integrity and above no respect for those who have served.
Like Don Shipley (SCPO, USN, Ret.) said in an interview, “Most of these guys are going to take their lies with them all the way to the grave.”.
Hackbcan can give you five contacts of Marines (and other service members) that he has served with at every duty assignment and class assignment, and is FaceBook friends with at least three from every assignment. Don’t the friends and relatives ever wonder why these “combat wounded retired veterans” do not take advantage of their military benefits, like Tricare, VA home loans or shopping at the PX? The all seem to be one step away from being declared financially insolvent, if they are already there, nor do they ever use the military provided training to support their family. They always come back with “The Green Machine used me up and spit me out. I don’t want anything to do with them.” But somehow, their Facebook pages are loaded with patriotic memes and generic military photos that they claim are them in action.
Amen to that! That is also another sob story line one often hears from some of the “Professional Homeless” types which you see sitting somewhere looking all disheveled with a cardboard sign saying something like “Homeless Vet, please help, God Bless” who often turn out to be phonies.
What are those floaty thingys that ships use to navigate by? They just bob up and down, record wave height, frequencies,water temps I forget the name of em, but he’s perfect.or a great potential for large chum slick too..
Those are buoys.
Ass hamster. I don’t sea it mentioned here, former Seal team leader, who did 57 combat tours too. Yes, he is a legend…….. In his own mind.
“did 57 combat tours”
One for each state. Cool.
Dayyymmm…he’s got more chins than a Hong Kong phone book.
His neck has love handles.
He’s so fat he had people running up behind him yelling “TAXI!” the last time he wore a rain coat!
He’ so fat, Planets orbit around him.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u5hyNVU66cs
He’s so fat the scale says “TO BE CONTINUED” every time he steps on it.
He’s so fat, he can only be weighed on a CAT scale.
So I am genuinely interested in hearing what it was about this guy that set off the alarm bells? What caused someone to say “hey, that doesn’t look right, let’s pull his records.” What there something in particular?I know next to nothing about the Navy and I would have walked past him and his uniform without even thinking about it.
Someone who served with him blew him in.
duck. you fuck.
not enough hot air to lift you.
no one wanted to kiss you.
if edenton was your pinnacle…
even BUPERS couldn’t find you with their binnacle.
senior chief gunner’s mate?
yeah…keep on with THAT masturbate.
ohh…and get some some more SSDR’s, you phat phuck,
to match your waistline. cocksmoker.