This ain't Hell, but you can see it from here

Monday morning feel good stories

Written by

Jonn Lilyea

in

We start out the day with Witcher Creek, West Virginia being a little safer this morning because a homeowner shot and killed an intruder on Saturday morning. He was DRT, according to reports.

In Fresno, California, another homeowner killed a burglar who was stuck in his chimney. It wasn’t intentional and the homeowner tried to put the fire out in his fire place, but he just couldn’t do it fast enough, I guess. The Santa Claus impersonator was DRT despite the best efforts of first responders.

In Lubbock, Texas, 27-year-old Joseph Lloyd Johnson reached over the counter at his local convenience store to clean out the till, when he turned around, the customers confronted him. He punched one of them in the face and ran outside where he was tackled by more customers and passers-by. He was held until the police came to end his brief criminal career after a quick trip to the hospital to be treated for his injuries.

Comments

14 responses to “Monday morning feel good stories”

  1. 11B-Mailclerk

    Ever have a Sergeant threaten to “..light a fire under your @$$!!! …” and wonder?

    Well, now you know….

  2. Frankie Cee “In the clear”

    Sweet, one fired at; Dead Right There.
    One fired up, Dead Up There.
    One fired on, beat to shit, right there.

  3. Dapandico

    Thug nuts roasting over an open fire…

    1. StBernardnot

      Gonna’ play hell topping that one!LMAO!

  4. sapper3307

    We need background checks to own and operate fireplaces.
    #SaveSantaClaus

    1. Haywire Angel

      Spew alert please! I almost had hot chocolate out the nose and on the keyboard. That is too funny sapper3307!!!!

  5. A Proud Infidel®™

    The Fresno homeowner sure put some smoke up that would-be burglar’s ass!! 😀

    1. OAE CPO USN Ret

      Yep, the homeowner was a real dope smoker.

      ba-dum-tss

      All week. Veal. Tips.

      1. A Proud Infidel®™

        What? Are you saying we only get veal tips or are you suggesting we tip the veal and eat the waitress?

        1. OAE CPO USN Ret

          Yep. Afterwards you head to the bar and snort the salt, eat the lemon, and throw the shot of tequila over your shoulder.

    2. Silentium Est Aureum

      Last report had the chimney guy as alive and medium well.

      1. A Proud Infidel®™

        One thing is for sure, and it’s that HE GOT HIS ASS SMOKED! 😀

        1. A Proud Infidel®™

          DARWIN AKHBAR!!! 😀

  6. AW1Ed

    I just KNEW you guys would just well up with sympathy for poor little Chimney Boy.

    “Sympathy” is in the dictionary between “Shit” and Syphilis.”

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