I guess you dickweeds aren’t going to stop sending me this link until I post it. Matthew Riggins, an amateur burglar tried to hide from the police in a Florida swamp. So what could happen, right?
Well, young Matt’s body was found ten days later after he was ravished by a crime-fighting 11-foot alligator. Actually, he was drowned by the ‘gator. The do-gooder ‘gator was put to death. He should have been given a medal.
It makes me shiver to think of all of the time I spent in chest-deep serpent-infested water armed with only an M16 with a blank adapter.
Comments
42 responses to “Matthew Riggins’ legacy”
#alligatorlivesmatter
#criminalscumbaglivesmatter
#dickweedslivesmatter
sniff-sniff!
The gator probably thought, “Hmmm… tastes like chicken”.
Apparently the gator was shot for complaining to the staff about the quality of his lunch. They refused to give him his money back.
I hope they saved the tail for a Bar-B-Que! 🙂
Remember the Value Jet crash in the Everglades? A survey taken afterward found that gators actually liked cheap airline food!
I wonder if they’ll try the accomplice (apparently now in custody) under Florida’s “felony murder” statute. Conspiracy to commit burglary would likely be a felony, and it seems to me that “casing the joint” would be the required overt act for conspiracy.
I can hear the cell-block conversation now:
Bubba: “So, what ya in for?”
Accomplice: “Murder.”
Bubba: “Who did ya kill?”
Accomplice: “Nobody. My dumbass partner got eaten by an alligator.”
Vigilante alligators RULE!!
…and stupidity reigns:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AKYbLTcKmYk
Wow.
.
Well that was dumb. I better put my glasses on because I apparently pressed the report button ….This is a great post,
anyway HOLD my beer and watch this……
Definitely a Darwin Award Winner.
Nothing like a covert bridge recon mission (training) getting compromised by a four legged friend.
Good times.
Had that exact scenario years ago at Ft Stewart when I was a dismount checking under the bridge during a training mission. I was told by the OC, “I don’t see him now but he hangs out here so be careful”.
There’s a cat in Florida who chases gators off his property. His name is Mugsy.
https://youtu.be/p_29k6dJ6DA
Good guard cat.
I used to have a cat that would chase deer out of the yard and up the street. I always wondered what she’d do if she caught one!
Hiding in a gator-infested swamp? DARWIN AKHBAR!!! 😀
KUDOS to the gator for saving the taxpayers some money, just hope the critter didn’t get food poisoning.
Nope. Lead poisoning got him first, I think.
Yep, I finally read the article and they found part of him in the gator’s belly!
Poor gator.
For the record, the incident did NOT occur in a swamp. It occurred in a lake – one of many lakes in the area. Gators don’t just hang out in swamps, you know.
In case you didn’t make the connection, the location of this is in Brevard County. Yep – THAT Brevard County.
My late native Floridian Bro used to say there wasn’t a body of water of any size in Fla that did not have gator(s) in it.
Ummm….not really.
Gators like fresh water. The Indian River as it passes through Brevard County at least, is a salt water body. No Gators there (unless you count graduates of the University of Florida who happen to be boating, swimming, etc in the Indian River.)
But any body of fresh water is home to them. (Even swimming pools.)
I meant fresh water. Apologies.
I’m offended !!!
May the gator be remembered for his good taste, and end up as an expensive and fashionable purse in a Michael Kors collection.
and that’s what I like to call instant karma. but I feel bad for the ‘gator.
https://youtu.be/wRxKj2o_hKY
OK, you can stop sending links now. Thanks.
Links about gators that eat burglars, or any links at all?
Links about the gator. Apparently everyone sends links before they look at the blog.
Wah! I want a TAH safe place. TAH MMFIC disparages us seasoned citizens that can’t remember shit, even if we just read it.
Can I get an Amen from Sparks and Claw?
You love your dickweeds, can’t deny it. mwahaha!
“Dickweeds” deserves to be capitalized. It’s a TAH badge of honor. Kinda like “Morons” at Ace.
That poor ‘gator.
WORD ^^^^^^
Sometimes karma actually does bite you in the ass.
And the leg, AND the other leg AND whatever other part that she and thet thar gator decide to chew up and digest… 😀
I was hoping that someone sent this off to Jonn.
I have been dying to see the retorts given by the crew of antagonizers here at TAH !!!
We need to think of a good name for this crew, Somehow with all the shit we pour on assholes there has gotta be a good one in here.
Hellions