Our partners at Military Phonies send us their work on this fellow, Joe Offutt. His Marine Corps service isn’t available to the public, he says, because he “got fried”;
So he had one of his sock puppets send out stuff in bits and pieces, something about rectal trauma and posting medical records on a DD214;
So, they checked his single record system;
It showed 14 days of active duty and so does his FOIA;
I think he wins the prize for our shortest enlistment in ever. In comparison, he spent 7 months and 13 days on the Delayed Entry Program, so, you know, he’s almost retired.
Comments
61 responses to “Joseph Offutt; phony Marine”
“Rectal trauma”
I got nothing…….
Right?!
It could have been worse. Was anyone treated that day for rat or beaver bite?
Possibly a freak “Entrenching Tool” demonstration gone horribly wrong? Or Camo pole incident?
Recruit Training Regiment: probably a mop handle.
Looking at those buck teeth of his, someone could shove a handle up his ass and use his face for a rake.
He looks like he could chew an oak tree down in no time at all!
I’m sure we don’t wanna know.
Armageddon!
Can’t improve on that. I also got nothing
“rectal trauma” = “scared a$$hole” ?
Mike
Rectal. Trauma………
(sigh….shakes head….walks away….)
Just think of the untapped gold mine of PTSD claims for man rape in the military. To ashamed to go to sick call. Never documented. Stayed with them their entire life. Want to get paid now.
He’s a pioneer I’m telling ya.
He is the Rosa Parks of Stolen Valor.
Yes, he refused to take a seat in the back of the short bus
He was going to take a seat, until someone pushed his stool in for him!
Maybe next he’ll claim to have been a victim of the “Ether Bunny”?
He does need ether alright, a very large dose.
It happened to one of the men in my unit at Fort Hood.
He was white, and was gang raped by blacks in the stairwell of the barracks.
The only reason I learned of it was I overheard some other guys talking about it and saying that if it happened to them, they would never admit it.
Read again what you just posted. Slowly. Then apologize for posting inflammatory bullshit.
Aw, ‘cmon, that’s “the great place” for ya…
Sweet Weeping Jesus don’t give them any idea’s. It will just cost us taxpayers
Cocksucker.
BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!!!
Shack!
BDA: 100/100
“Rectal Trauma”
well genius, that is what happens when you sit on bed posts…
Or the gearshift lever of an M35A1 Deuce.
Rectal trauma from having his head up his arse.
That photo of the dude should be in the illustrated edition of the Bell Curve
I had “rectal drama” this one time at band camp…
Ya, the Big Green Weenie will get ya…some sooner than others.
I pulled all my DD214’s…they never mentioned my rectal trauma. I need to submit another DD215 and have that shit corrected.
Real Marines take it with a smile. Another loser that leaves a shit stain on the window of life.
The only rectal trauma I ever had on AD was a pain-in-the-ass 1SG that loved to micromanage.
This clown also claims to have been an EMT in Texas. Which isn’t true either.
He was also collecting money for five fallen Police officers in TX. They received no money from him.
But Hey, He wants to hug everyone.
Brokeback Joseph is just that…Broke.
Apparently he’s asking for another round of rectal trauma…
Penial Paralysis, I have heard of.
Rectal Trauma, just raises more questions than I am willing to ask.
he was visited by the ether bunny while in Korea….
Someone dropped a bomb on him. Early in the morning, apparently.
(you see what I did there??)
Yeah, well someone needs to go Oops, upside his head!
He got ‘fried’???? In what?
Is he referring to brain-fry?
Apparently his poor ol’ poop chute got “fried”…which is how he caught a case of the rectal trauma. Stolen Valor, PTSD, and gonoherpasypllaids all rolled into one.
Asshole.
Maybe he got butt-plugged while pole dancing at The Blue Oyster?
he was performing the twerk known as RPI–Rectal Pole Insertion…
I’ve eaten some food while stationed in Korea that gave me rectal trauma.
Chop chae did me in….had to restuff my lower intestine
Eat enough MRE’s and you might have some pretty severe rectal trauma, but not the kind he’s thinking of.
Yep, feed me a bean burrito MRE and I can knock a forest down afterward!
It’s too late for me now; but, it might help those currently afflicted with MRE’s. Could a bean burrito cure that lower intestinal distress caused by weeks of nothing but MRE’s?
Just DO NOT go near any sparks or open flames after eating one!
If the MRE bean burrito doesn’t work, the MRE pineapple should do the trick.
You need an old timey John Wayne Bar
In the remarks section it says “depressed mood” after “rectal trauma”…I’m guessing he was not faking that…
Any guy that would say to me…”BARE with me and the truth will be OUT soon”, I’m slowly backing away from him and then exiting stage right.
So many “innuendos” (not the Anderson. Pella, Marvin, or Milgard type).
Damn, I need more hot, black coffee stat. 😉
It’s a black thang. You know, on the down low.
I’m thinking that he got some DI’s boot stuck up his ass on Day One.
And liked it?!?!
A whole 14 days AD. This joker has set a new record for the least accomplishment for anyone to ever wear the uniform. He has beat the Gunga Dan line by over 40 days. One has to wonder how any sane NCO would have recruited him. Too bad we can’t get his test scores.
A whopping 14 days of Active Duty, he beats John Giduck by a long shot!
Clown.
Who is that other turd with the cowboy hat? Roddy something or another.
Anyway, this dude personifies the term “Queef”.
Rowdy Anderson. All hat, no ride.
His hat seems to fit pretty good. That ought to be enough for ordinary folks. Ah well, we all know better than that.
Wait… “butthurt”? (Seriously, on his DD214?)
What do you have to DO to prove yourself unredeemable in just 14 days? It boggles the mind.