Christopher Shane Fontenot; phony Navy Corpsman (video added)

Someone sent us their work on this Christopher Shane Fontenot fellow who claims that he was a Navy Corpsman;

Yeah, according to the Navy, he served 60 days, he probably didn’t finish boot camp (the rumor is that he went AWOL, but he claims that he was injured);

He wasn’t a Marine, either;

You know, as if you couldn’t tell from his pictures;

Someone sent us this video in which he admits that he lied about his service in the Navy;

Comments

65 responses to “Christopher Shane Fontenot; phony Navy Corpsman (video added)”

  1. What a friggin’ knob…

  2. HT3 ’83-’87

    Ear gauges? Really? What a loser. You know what they say…

    “The bigger the gauge, the lower the wage”

    Navy Corpsman/Marine, I think not.

    1. Berliner

      That’s just to give guys something to hold onto.

    2. Carlton G. Long

      “The bigger the gauge, the lower the wage”

      You win the internet for today.

  3. Combat Historian

    Douchebag is well under the Gunga Dan Line. Dan “WHAT’S THE FREQUENCY, KENNETH?” Rather can rest easy for today…

  4. A Proud Infidel®™

    I always wanted to find someone with ear gauges like that passed out and put a padlock in each one. I bet he blames everyone but himself that he can’t get a decent paying job looking like that as well!

  5. USMCMSgt (Ret)

    60 days…

    Claims to be a 8404… (Right)

    IIRC, the youngsters who attended the Field Medical Training School aboard Camp Del Mar (Camp Pendleton) would get P.T.’d, hazed and generally wore the fuck out on a regular basis.

    I doubt he would have finished that school.

    Loser.

    1. HMCS(FMF) ret

      I went through it as a Chief… and got my ass wore out on a regular basis.

      Never regretted doing it for a moment.

  6. 26Limabeans

    Is he on Oxygen?

    1. The Stranger

      Looks like it from the one pic. Man, that us some serious oxygen thieving going on, right there! Now, where’s the dog?

      ?

      1. A Proud Infidel®™

        He ought to be forced to carry at least TWO houseplant with him at all times to compensate for all the oxygen he’s wasted throughout his life!

        1. HMC Ret

          Two houseplants …. BLAHHHHHH

          1. A Proud Infidel®™

            Fat clumsy fingers and a lack of proofreading…

    2. Bet you ten bucks it’s supplied by the US Taxpayers…
      Thinking T-19 Medical Assistance/oblowmecare…

  7. Ex-PH2

    A pretend corpsman. Eeewww!

    Those earbob thingies – The Maasai women do a better job, and they use gold plates for it. The Surma and Mursi of Ethiopia do lip stretching. The Kayan of the Reg Kaya in Burma just stretch the ear lobes with weights. They’re better at it, too.

    Here’s a fine sampling of various tribal methods: https://www.pinterest.com/pin/535717318157633964/

    I think what these dipsticks are trying to do is find a tribe to belong to, but since they don’t have one, they just look ridiculous, like overgrown children wearing Hallowe’en costume jewelry.

    1. HMC Ret

      Hey, PH, you in need of a ‘thorough’ physical? Maybe this guy can volunteer his ‘services’.

  8. TF-BA

    A fake 8404. FMF Corpsmen have finally arrived.

  9. Mick

    Oh. Hell. No.

    Waiting for IDC SARC and our other FMF Sailors to roll in hot on this flaming assclown. Bring it.

    And based on Fontenot’s brief period of service during early 1995, I would be very, very interested to hear what he’s claiming to have been involved with in Bosnia.

    1. TF-BA

      As a FMF GCE type, I’m having difficulty mustering much past a continuous giggle. This dude is a cartoon, what with the nasal cannula, neck tats combo. He’s probably the kind of asshole that got “welcome aboard” tattooed above his crank during DEP.
      Valor thieves are trying to be “cool” and get unearned recognition right? So he picks like the one job in the military that is fundamentally confusing to civilians and has very limited brand recognition outside the military. “I want to be in the Hospital Corps when I grow up” said by zero children ever. His failure cup runith over.

      I also accidentally reported your comment.

      1. IDC SARC

        ” So he picks like the one job in the military that is fundamentally confusing to civilians and has very limited brand recognition outside the military.”

        No kidding…my own family never even understood exactly what my job was. Couldn’t understand why I was gone so much since a Hospital Corpsman must by their logic, work in a hospital.

        1. TF-BA

          Oh the confusion is deep. Even in the Navy, On our way home from helmund some Female Navy Admiral put out an all hands for Navy personnel on KAF for lunch with her at the DFAC. She was A)Upset that a “bunch of Marines with guns” were in the reserved tables B)Shocked to learn we were actually in the Navy and C)UNAWARE that HM’s serve in Infantry units.

          Flag Officer. Nuff said.

          1. IDC SARC

            Yeah, as a Recon Corpsman my T/O weapon was an M-16 and secondary MEU/SOC .45. Often I carried an additional M-79 or 12Guage.

            I could see the confusion in people’s eyes when I talked to them as they tried to figure out wtf was going on.

            1. TF-BA

              Don’t forget all the accidental saluting.

    2. HMCS(FMF) ret

      Probably knows the infamous “neck tourniquet” method from E-9 Wallace “Grey” Rather and received sooper sekrit training in buttsekks ops from Capt. “Bull Dog”.

      I’ve got more time treating Marines for various social diseases that the cocksucker has military service. I know plenty of FMF HM’s, RP’s, YN’s and PN’s that would love to give this fraud the beatdown he richly deserves.

      CHRISTOPHER SHANE FONTENOT = MOTHERFUCKINGCOCKSUCKING ASSHAMSTER

      1. 11B-mailclerk

        Beat down? One clamp on that O2 line would likely do it….

  10. Skyjumper

    He’s the kind of guy that you would like to replace his oxygen tank with a MAPP gas cylinder, flick a Bic, and then stand by to watch.

    1. Duane

      ^^^This^^^ I want to remember this one!!

  11. Angry 8404

    Right out of Hospital Corps school, I was stationed at NRMC Charleston in Labor and Delivery and living the good life. It was easy –
    wear scrubs all day, drunken beach side debauchery at night, hot nurses and eggs to order at the Hospital cafeteria every day. That was before orders came to FMSS Lejeune (Camp Johnson). On my first day we were invited to play a friendly game of “touch” football against a bunch of Grunts. They pushed my face in the mud on the very first play and broke my front tooth. The daily ass kicking continued for a while until I finally learned to fall in and toughen up. I went on to serve with 1/7 and 3/9 out of 62 area (Pendleton). Although I never saw combat, my 8404 days remain a lifetime highlight for me. My respect for the Marine Corps is indelible. This anal polyp appears to require further disablement. I will share this post with a few FB Corpsman forums. Perhaps we will devise some new type of ectomy for this human tumor.

  12. Silentium Est Aureum

    All he needs now is a vape and a PBR and the douchebag ensemble is complete.

    1. HMCS(FMF) ret

      Proof that he’s fluffed a few phallus’ in his lifetime….

    2. 26Limabeans

      Tell me that’s not a dog riding aft.

    3. Ex-PH2

      Geezo Pete, guys, you could post a spew alert or something, y’know. That isn’t just disgusting. It’s a mental state.

  13. Herbert J Messkit R & U NCO

    I always assume that people who didn’t finish basic were chronic bedwetters

    1. There was a guy in squad during my Basic Combat Training who wet the bed every night.

      One morning, during formation, the Drill Sergeant began chewing him out, and the guy began wetting his pants.

      That was the last straw.

      He was instantly out of the United States Army.

      Also, during Basic Combat Training, when we went through the gas chamber, one guy had to be taken away in an ambulance, as he had asthma.

      I don’t know if he survived, but if he did, he wouldn’t be able to remain in the United States Army.

      In the United States Army, three things are required each year in order to remain a soldier, i.e., pass the Physical Training test (run two miles in eight minutes), qualify with your assigned weapon, and go through the gas chamber.

      In the Army, gas is also used during war games, riots (yes, that happens), and sometimes, just for fun, to break up the monotony.

      1. A Proud Infidel®™

        Two miles in eight minute, you had to run at 15 MPH?

        1. Maybe it was only one mile in eight minutes.

          It was so long ago, I just can’t remember.

          1. rgr769

            It was one mile in 8 minutes. My best time was 6 min, 45 seconds. The new PT test requires a two miler, I believe.

            1. IDC SARC

              yep…2 mi.

  14. Green Thumb

    Where do these clowns come from?

    AWOL = Shitbag (as you probably could not tell by the pictures)

    1. IDC SARC

      when cowboys fukk sheep

      1. Graybeard

        Cowboys prefer heifers.
        Just sayin’.

      2. Tony180A

        Damn IDC SARC that’s giving a bad name to both cowboys and sheep. I know you’d love to tell old Chris,”prep your draeger…we’re about to have some fun”.

        1. IDC SARC

          I’d rather just pour the sofnalime straight down his throat. 🙂

  15. UDC SARC

    grrrrrrrrrr…..cocksucker

    ahhmmm hazzin too good a day teaching real troops to even get started on this wimp.

    1. UDC SARC

      ffs…didn’t even type my handle correctly.

      1. IDC SARC

        Twice…grrrrrr

        1. Graybeard

          >snerk<

          1. IDC SARC

            In my defense I am horribly sober right now.

            1. Graybeard

              Or is that your problem?

              1. IDC SARC

                mmmmmmm…not anymore

        2. RGR 4-78

          UDC
          Urinary Disorder, Communicable? SARC

          1. SFC D

            Under Da Covers

            1. IDC SARC

              Perfect!

  16. A Proud Infidel®™

    I’m sure he’s only sorry he got caught.

  17. HMCS(FMF) ret

    The gal questioning him grilled his fat ass like a porterhouse steak on a Sunday afternoon. Also, she states, “You’re going to pay everyone back” – sounds like he’s been bilking people out of money (FRAUD) based on his lies.

    1. Daisy Cutter

      I loved the part about “What exactly?”

      “Oh, I lied about everything. All of it.”

      No need to seek clarification.

      1. A Proud Infidel®™

        But is he genuinely sorry about what he did, or is he only sorry he got caught?

        1. 26Limabeans

          He’s just plain sorry.

      2. A Proud Infidel®™

        I finally watched the whole thing, she sure gracefully tore his sorry ass up and threw it back in his face!!!

        1. Jessica

          We confronted him on a Thursday, local veteran’s were hosting a fundraiser (on Saturday) to raise funds for him to purchase a new wheelchair and a car fund for him. Myself, plus several others raised about $6000 while he was in the hospital for 88 days. This was not the only time he had money raised for him. He had several Go Fund Me accounts. Complete and total loser. Most people in the HTown Veteran Community supported him and continue to feel sorry for him. He’s a liar, con artist and complete waste.

          1. A Proud Infidel®™

            Damn, I didn’t know he was THAT sorry, is he still sniveling for a free ride?

  18. Daisy Cutter

    In answer to the question “Did he or didn’t he?”

    Fontenot fought not.

  19. aGrimm

    8404’s carry heavy packs. This bed pan can’t carry his azygous gonad fifty feet without his oxygen tank. He is a kiricephalus tongue worm (a snake parasite).

    Per HMCS(FMF) ret: “I’ve got more time treating Marines for various social diseases that the cocksucker has military service”. Heh, although it’s pretty easy to rack up that time with the Jarheads.

  20. Steve 1371

    The back of his tee shirt says ” I’me not a urologist, but I’ll take a look.”