Category: Who knows

  • Wipe Like a Man

    Thanks to Michael Shlitz for bringing this awesomeness to my attention.  I think you’ll all agree this is the most many S**t paper commercial ever.  One Wipe Charlies.

    Now that you’ve seen the video let me put out a few thoughts.  First, and foremost, there is nothing more terrible than having a Baghdad Blowout when your on over-watch and your ass wipe is in the OP 300 meters away.  I’ve had to attempt to use Arab “toilets” more than once and it is the worst feeling in the world to unconsciously reach over to where the TP should be and find nothing there.  That is a shitty day my friends, and I will not talk about my improvised solution.  Not cool is all I’ll say.

    Second, anyone whose ever had Mermite every other meal with MRE’s making up the difference will tell you, it is the most horrible feeling in the world to have a rock hard log with a massive tsunami waiting to break behind it.  Giving birth, then pissing out your ass (POMA) only to realize that all you have are those little Kleenex packets that come in the MRE to wipe away the foulness makes you realize the devil must somehow been involved.  You also tend to realize that more than POGie bait, more than extra batteries, more that something shiny to keep the LT occupied, the one thing that you want with you is asswipe.  Not just any ass wipe though.  The strongest most rock hard SOB of an infantryman will tell you, when diarrhea eventually sets in (it always does) you want your ass feeling like it was wiped with silk.

    Third, I’m not endorsing the product here at all, I just thought that the video was funny as hell.  Having said that, I’ve used “Hoah wipes” and “anti-monkey butt” and all sorts of products like that.  I think it’s important for soldiers to test out various products and figure out what works and what doesn’t.  I also think it’s great that there are companies that realize the realities of the field and try to make products to accommodate those needs.  Field sanitation and comfort don’t always have to be mutually exclusive.  There’s all sorts of things that I learned (like wearing hoes on a long ruck march) that any good NCO will pass on to his or her troops.  The job requires that we go to miserable s**tty places and live in conditions that are worse than the “cruel and unusual punishment” that gets inmates released out of California prisons.  Even the slightest bit of comfort can make or break a deployment/Field op.  So I say good on to anyone that attempts to come up with something that can be used for said purpose.

    Lastly, I’m so glad to see manly commercials making a comeback.  Seeing commercials of men so stupid that they walk into sliding doors or set themselves on fire while barbequing are getting pretty F**king old.  It’s bad enough I’m expected by society to willingly sign a hand receipt for my testicles whenever there’s a change of command in Girlfriend Command (GIRFRICOM), I don’t need to be bombarded with clips making me out to be the biggest retard that ever lived just because I happen to be a dude.  I’m sick of pastel colors, calming yoga poses, and commercials about how a certain type of yogurt will make Jamie Lee Curtis have a better defecation experience.  Every once in a while I want to see a guy shaving with a chain saw for no apparent reason.  Why?  WHO CARES?!?!  We’re men, we do stuff like that (well maybe not THAT).  It’s nice for add agencies to remember that hey, there’s this whole other group of people that buy stuff, and they don’t happen to be soccer moms.  Or women.

     

    Hope y’all have a good week.  Go forth and do Awesome.

  • Ed Snowden; Glen Greenwald’s weak sauce

    DrewM sent us a link this morning about the guy who supposedly fed the NSA’s data mining story to Glenn Greenwald last week. And while I do believe that the NSA has been collecting information on completely innocent American citizens inside our borders, I’m not sure this Snowden dude is who he says he is. We’ve applied for a FOIA on his records, but here are my impressions of what he says about his military career. First from the Guardian and Greenwald;

    By his own admission, he was not a stellar student. In order to get the credits necessary to obtain a high school diploma, he attended a community college in Maryland, studying computing, but never completed the coursework. (He later obtained his GED.)

    In 2003, he enlisted in the US army and began a training program to join the Special Forces. Invoking the same principles that he now cites to justify his leaks, he said: “I wanted to fight in the Iraq war because I felt like I had an obligation as a human being to help free people from oppression”.

    He recounted how his beliefs about the war’s purpose were quickly dispelled. “Most of the people training us seemed pumped up about killing Arabs, not helping anyone,” he said. After he broke both his legs in a training accident, he was discharged.

    After that, he got his first job in an NSA facility, working as a security guard for one of the agency’s covert facilities at the University of Maryland. From there, he went to the CIA, where he worked on IT security. His understanding of the internet and his talent for computer programming enabled him to rise fairly quickly for someone who lacked even a high school diploma.

    From the Army’s Special Forces recruiting page, the first three entries;

    Qualifications

    To become part of the Army’s Green Berets, you need to be mentally and physically tough, endure difficult training and face all challenges head-on. In addition to that, you must:

    Be a male, age 20-30 (Special Forces positions are not open to women)
    Be a U.S. citizen
    Be a high school diploma graduate

    He claims to be 29 now, so, in 2003 when he says he went through SF training, he was 19. He also didn’t have a high school diploma – so those two things disqualified him right there. He says that he “began a training program to join the Special Forces” which could mean anything really – since his training would have begun at BCT (Basic Combat Training), just the wording of that statement makes me think that he didn’t get anywhere near Camp Mackall. Looking at his picture, I don’t think I can imagine him on the 5 mile airport run at Mackall with a ruck packed with bricks.

    Then he goes to tell how he thought he would be helping people, but the Army seemed more interested in killing Arabs. That makes me think that he was headed to a civil affairs job and he’s calling it “Special Forces” as we’ve seen phonies do in our pages. And yeah, in basic training they kinda teach new soldiers how to kill people who are intent on killing the new soldiers – hence the name “basic combat training”.

    Snowden said that he admires both Ellsberg and Manning, but argues that there is one important distinction between himself and the army private, whose trial coincidentally began the week Snowden’s leaks began to make news.

    “I carefully evaluated every single document I disclosed to ensure that each was legitimately in the public interest,” he said. “There are all sorts of documents that would have made a big impact that I didn’t turn over, because harming people isn’t my goal. Transparency is.”

    He purposely chose, he said, to give the documents to journalists whose judgment he trusted about what should be public and what should remain concealed.

    Serious lack of judgement, in that he “admires” Breanna Manning, the rotting corpse of Daniel Ellsberg and Sockpuppet Greenwald. Manning did what he did because he was mad at his boyfriend and Ellsberg clings to Manning hoping to become famous again. Greenwald is doing what Greenwald does best; sockpuppeting to defend himself.

    We won’t know the true story about Snowden’s military career until we get his FOIA back, depending on whether or not the National Personnel Records Center wants to give it to us or not (they’re a little slow when the person we’re requesting is in the headlines), but since folks are asking me what I think – there it is – pure speculation.

    ADDED:

    Snowden service dates

  • The Damn Few, Episode 13: Gunny Time

    Ranger Up has a new episode of “The Damn Few” up.  Since we normally post those here at TAH, well, here ya go.

    Yeah, it’s Ranger Up and The Damn Few, so standard warnings apply:  language is NSFW, and it’s probably not safe to watch without headphones if children or overly-sensitive people are around or within earshot.

  • Transgender Navy SEAL, Warrior Princess

    OK, you guys wore me down. I’ve been avoiding this subject since last night when someone sent us a link, but I’ve been getting a couple of “tips” every hour about Chris/Kristin Beck who wrote about his journey from Navy SEAL to woman. Yes, according to Don Shipley, Beck is indeed a former SEAL. Shipley’s exact words were “Only in the Navy….” So I figured that since I have nothing constructive to add to the discussion, but you guys seem eager to discuss it, here’s your opportunity. From the Washington Times;

    Chris Beck served for 20 years on SEAL Team 6 — the same unit that ultimately raided bin Laden’s compound. He retired six months before the bin Laden raid, but nonetheless still went on 13 different deployments during his military career — seven of which sent him to combat areas — ultimately earning a Bronze Star and Purple Heart, the Daily Mail reported.

    But something was amiss.

    “Chris really wanted to be a girl and felt that she was a girl and consolidated that identity very early on in childhood,” said Anne Speckhard, who helped the soldier write a book, called “Warrior Princess,” the Daily Mail reported.

    Just so long as he doesn’t do like Autumn Sandeen and starts wearing a female Navy uniform in public. By the way, that particular link comes with warning about how things you’ve seen can’t be unseen.

  • Yo, Mister Mayor – I Got Yer Breakfast Right Here!

    Dunkin’ Donuts has announced it’s adding a fried egg and bacon on glazed donut breakfast sandwich to its breakfast menu. According to the Dunkin’ Donuts website, the new sandwich will be available starting Friday, 7 June – National Donut Day. It is to become a permanent part of the Dunkin’ Donuts breakfast menu.

    There was no immediate comment noted from Mayor Bloomberg of NYC.

    I wonder if they’ll call it a “Bloomie” in Manhattan? (smile)

  • CPT Terry Hestilow; the Tea Party guy

    captainterry-hestilow

    A number of you have been sending me stuff about this thirty-year Captain Terry Hestilow who has been raging around the country about the Department of Homeland Security buying up enough rounds to shoot us each five or so times. Now, personally, I don’t believe that DHS is planning on shooting us all, who would pay taxes if that happened, but I do think that its some brain storm scheme to control guns. But Hestilow is of the opinion that they’re planning on killing us all. A number of you thought he was faking something, well, not as far as I can tell. Initially I checked to see if there was a record of him and there was, so I’ve been fending off your inquiries with that little bit of information. Well Mary got his records;

    Hestilow Assignments

    Hestilow FOIA

    Hestilow Awards

    It looks like he was an MP in Vietnam and then reclassified to Infantry at Fort Polk about the same time I was going to AIT there. Then he got commissioned in 1981 but he didn’t go to Infantry Officer Basic Course until 1983 then he spent two years or so at Fort Carson and then went to the Reserves. Then it looks like he went to Afghanistan with a Reserve unit.

    His 2-1 looks odd because I’ve never seen an officer’s 2-1 which had assignments in their cadet battalions, but there his are. That makes me think that he typed his own 2-1 for some reason. But it is what it is. This is for your own edification. He’s not a phony as near as I can tell, but he’s also not someone who I would listen to based on his military career. It’s glaringly unremarkable, not that there’s anything wrong with that, but that photo at the top of this post is used across the internet as some sort of mark of authority.

    If you’re still wondering who he is, there’s an excellent interview at Politichicks.

  • Memorial Day

    No, its not “Happy Memorial Day”, it’s just Memorial Day. Ex PH-2 sends us a screen shot of SSG Tim Chambers and the way he remembers the fallen and supports the living who remember at Rolling Thunder yesterday;

    SSG Tim Chambers

    And there’s the Lee Brice song, “I Drive Your Truck”, that celebrates how Paul Monti remembers his son Jared Monti;

  • After almost 12 years we FINALLY know who was behind 9/11!!!

    Well Actually if you make it through, you find out it was all Bush’s fault. Or the Banks. Or something. You gotta love how these guys keep at it. You also gotta love how he ties it up with a neat little bow.

    It’s total bullshit, and the guy is probably huffing something, but he sure goes into a lot of detail and whackoness.