Presented for your Monday enjoyment: a thoroughly crude (and ABSOLUTELY NOT SAFE FOR WORK/AROUND CLERGY, PRUDES, OR CHILDREN) but thoroughly hilarious tune from Adam Sandler. I think any guy or gal with limited $$$ who ever owned an old “beater” of a car can identify with this one.
Ah, memories – and ONLY memories today, thankfully. (smile)
Ever wonder if there’s a military newspaper that’s published to serve the Pentagon and DC? You know, like most Bases/Posts/Camps/Stations have an installation newspaper.
Yeah, one exists. It’s called the “Pentagram”.
Seriously. And it’s owned by the company that owns the Washington Post.
Yeah, the internal newspaper for the DoD HQ is named after a symbol today associated with the Occult.
You couldn’t make this sh!t up.
Something recently reminded me of a military training class I was in many years ago – taught in the Army – concerning field first aid. Like most, it was pretty much your standard, boring Army class. But it did have one moment that made it an absolute gem.
The instructor was going over how to estimate how much of a burn casualty’s skin had been affected. He taught us the “rule of nines” for doing that.
For those who might not be familiar with it, the “rule of nines” works as follows. Different parts of the body are each assigned a fixed number of “nines”. Each arm is assigned one “nine”; each leg, two “nines”. The front of the torso is similarly assigned two “nines”; ditto the back and buttocks. Finally, the head and neck is assigned one “nine”.
A “nine” is short for “9 percent” – as in 9% of a person’s total skin area. So each arm is 9% of the average person’s skin; the head and neck, also 9%. A leg, front of torso, or back and buttocks each have 2 nines – so they’re each 18% of the average individual’s total skin area.
It’s a quick and dirty rule, and isn’t always perfectly accurate. But it’s apparently generally fairly close. And when you’ve got to estimate quickly how much of an individual is burned, it’s certainly better than making a wild-ass guess.
Well, there’s one in every crowd – and the instructor had been through this a few times before. So before anyone could do the math and ask, he then said the following.
“Now, I know some of you have probably totaled that up, and came up with 99%. That’s correct. There’s 1% left over.”
What followed was IMO one of the true “money lines” of all time. The instructor then smiled slightly, and said, matter-of-factly and with a straight face:
“Now, I don’t care if you’re John Homes – 1% is enough.”
Thirty-plus years later, I couldn’t tell you a damn thing about the rest of that class. But I can sure as hell still remember the “rule of nines”.
Thank God I’ve never had to use it.
Someone sent us a note that Don Shipley was mentioned on last night’s NCIS; LA (Episode “Seal Hunter”). Luckily, I DVR that show for weekend viewing. I’m not sure how flattered I’d be if I were Don, though. The guy who was supposed to be a caricature of Don, was a goof. One of the agents said he looked like he had a cat on his head.
At about 21:19 in this video Agent Hannah (LL Cool J) tells Douche Nozzle that he knows Don Shipley but Hannah has never heard of Douche Nozzle. By the way, Douche Nozzle, it turns out, is wearing a toupee. I’m sure Don’s coif is real, but Douche Nozzle’s hair is a running joke through whole show.
The end is pretty good when they finally catch the phony SEAL/murderer, though. I won’t ruin it for you.
In “loving” memory of the Duke of Duval, Landslide Lyndon, Da Mayor and his Daley Machine, JFK/1960 – and with apologies to the late Warren Zevon:
They Vote When They’re Dead
There’s plenty to do after they buy the farm
They vote when they’re dead
Who says it’s wrong? This will protect our cause from harm
They vote when they’re dead
The election judges all are bombed on gin
They vote when they’re dead
Election results, they’re twisted again
They vote when they’re dead
Well, they “cast” their votes just as prescribed
They vote when they’re dead
And if that don’t work, then somebody gets bribed
They vote when they’re dead
I’ve got a .38 special up on the shelf
They vote when they’re dead
If our side don’t win, maybe I’ll shoot myself
They vote when they’re dead
There’s plenty to do after they buy the farm
They vote when they’re dead
Who says it’s wrong? This will protect our cause from harm
They vote when they’re dead
Remember that “progressive” mantra, everyone: Make sure you register to vote. Then vote early, vote often – vote forever!
. . .
PS: Just in case you’re having trouble recognizing the tune – here’s the original.
TSO sends us an email from some beach in the third world somewhere to alert us to the fact that Angie Harmon is divorcing her husband. Normally, someone in Hollywood getting a divorce wouldn’t get much attention on this blog, but Angie Harmon has a special place in our hearts here. COB6 posted a picture of her a few years back and in those days of leaner traffic, that picture got us loads of traffic for months afterwards and we became the number one search result on “Angie+Harmon+Hot”.
Basically, it’s a reminder of how I don’t know a thing about blogging and I just post stuff that people send me – so here I am doing it again.
Oh, yeah, on the split up, here’s Fox News.
In a DC Circuit does current flow from positive to negative or negative to positive?
Some of you are now thinking “E4U has lost his mind” others will have snorted and giggled a little. Those of you that giggled know what I am talking about.
I am an electrician. I have been for 30 years. I started as a helper and worked my way up. In the Navy I was an Interior Communications Electrician. I was an Electrician’s Helper before I joined the Navy. The question above is about conventional current flow theory vs. electron current flow. In the Navy I learned electron theory, the civilian world teaches conventional. I know the real answer but at the end of the day it doesn’t really matter.
The current flow question has been an example of how serving in the Military can forever change a persons way of thinking. The truth is that Benjamin Franklin was the first to indicate positive and negative with respect to current flow. He got it backwards. It has been taught old Bens way in most courses except military and some engineering classes. But the lights still work so it’s no big deal.
For the last week or so I have been working. When I say working I mean as an electrician, with my tools. It has been fun. There is not a part of my body that does not hurt but its been worth it. I have slept like a baby every night. There is a long explanation as to why I have been doing this but at the end of the day I got to reconnect with my trade is a real way. The truth is I enjoy being an electrician. The Navy taught me the theory, something that many people that call themselves electricians don’t understand. This week I needed that theory. I also needed a bunch of advil to keep up with the young guys.
I have been out of the Navy a long time, everyday I still do some things the way I learned in the Navy. One of the things the Navy refined for me is logical thinking. That is not to take a shotgun approach but to isolate the real problem and fix it. I wish Obama had served.
Life can be damned hard, and complex. That’s certainly no secret.
Relationships are part of life – and they can be damned hard and complex, too. That’s certainly no secret either. Even when someone’s strongly committed to being faithful, temptations happen.
IMO, these guys managed to capture that whole confused, messed-up situation just about as perfectly as I’ve ever found. Whether you’ve managed to avoid getting caught-up in a nasty situation along these lines or not, I think everyone can relate. Because I’m going out on a limb here and saying that somewhere along the way, everyone’s been tempted. Humans are, after all . . . human.
There’s no hidden message here; no confessions, no accusations, no judgments, nada. Only rarely do songs capture a truly complicated time, place, or human situation damn near perfectly. IMO this is one such tune; it’s one I thought worth a listen. And since the situation is pretty damn common if not universal, I thought it was worth sharing it here.
That’s the end of today’s ramble. We now return you to your regular TAH programming. (smile)